chapter twelve

three steps back

♰

    CORDELIA WOKE UP to the shrill sound of Sam's voice as he spoke on the phone and the ruffle of the covers as Dean sat up. He rubbed his hand over his eyes as Sam's voice caught his attention.

"-Well, we're fine. Dad, where are you?" Sam's voice was rushed as he held the phone to his ear.

Cordelia had yet to announce to the Winchesters that she was awake, instead, her eyes widened into her pillow as she realised something. She had kissed Dean. She kissed him.

Oh, shit. What if it was awkward now?

So, whilst Cordelia had an internal panic with herself ⸻ the ongoing phone call went unheard to her. There was a beat of silence before Sam's voice was heard, frustration was held in his tone, "What?! Why not?!"

Dean frowned at the back of Sam's head, a confused look written across his features. "Is that Dad?" He asked, swallowing roughly as he briefly let his eyes fall onto the sleeping girl beside him.

Dean was just as confused as she was ⸻ he, too, had that same internal panic. Only now, that was being replaced by thoughts of his Dad. He had been awake for a while earlier on, thinking about what had happened between them, and now with the topic of John Winchester in mind, his brain went elsewhere.

We haven't got time for you to be messing around with girls, Dean, we've got a job to do, John would say to him. Dean could practically hear John saying that in his head whilst giving him that stern, pointed look that screamed 'you do as I say', and everyone who knew Dean, knew he did not like to disappoint his father.

"You're after it, aren't you? The thing that killed Mom?" Sam asked John, Dean's question going unheard. It was now, that Cordelia decided it'd be a good idea to wake up, Sam's words caused her attention to flit to him, ignoring the burn on the side of her face as Dean glanced over at her.

"A demon?" Sam replied to whatever his Dad had said, a somewhat hopeful expression on his face. "You know for sure?"

"A demon? What's he sayin'?" Dean questioned his brother hastily as he shrugged on a t-shirt, but his words fell deaf on Sam's ears.

Sam inhaled deeply at the words his father had said to him and his face dropped ever so slightly, "You know where it is?"

A beat of silence filled the dingy motel room before Sam spoke up again.

"Let us help... why not?"

The small etch of hope that Cordelia felt wisped away at Sam's words. By the sounds of it, John knew what had killed Mary and Jess but he wasn't going to let them help.

Asshole.

But if she knew Sam, and she did, she knew he wouldn't take no for an answer.

"Give me the phone," Dean demanded, outstretching his arm in the direction of the device.

Once again, Sam ignored his brother. "Names? What names, Dad?" He scoffed in question, irritation creeping up his body at the sudden change of conversation. "Talk to me, tell me what's going on."

Cordelia's eyes fell on Dean, but he didn't look in her direction, even though she knew, he could feel her staring. You know that feeling that you get, when something has changed, the sudden tense atmosphere that takes over and feels so damn suffocating ⸻ that's what it felt like now.

"No. Alright?" Sam's voice snapped her back to reality. "No way."

"Gimme the phone." Once again, Dean's words fell deaf on Sam's ears, and the older Winchester brother's irritation spiked.

Whatever John had said to Sam, seemed to piss him off, his jaw clenched and he pinched the skin between his brows with a shake of his head.

Having had enough of his brother, Dean reached forward and harshly snatched the phone out of Sam's hand. "Dad, it's me. Where are you?" His tone was rushed and his brows furrowed in worry for his father, after a few seconds his face fell flat and a dejected look painted across his features. "Yes, sir. Uh, yeah, I got a pen," he reached across to the small table between the beds and clicked the pen, "What are the names?"

Cordelia deflated at Dean's words and she met Sam's eye, he held the same expression she did. Six months and they had come up with nothing ⸻ and now, John had found it, found the thing that had killed Jess and Mary, only for him to not tell them anything.

She pushed back the bedsheets and silently walked over to the small, grim bathroom, slamming the door shut harder than necessary.

She couldn't help herself, though, she was pissed. Pissed at the fact they hadn't found anything in six months, pissed at the fact that John Winchester refused to share any information and pissed at Dean for bending to his father's will with a snap of his fingers and a yes sir.

Maybe she was slightly pissed that Dean had not even batted an eyelid in her direction all morning.

♰

    The atmosphere in the car was even worse than it was in the motel room. Cordelia and Sam were sulking and Dean was being stubborn. Not to mention the fact that in the past hour, since they had left the motel, Dean hadn't looked her way, not once, she caught his eye for not even a second and smiled at him, but he looked away almost immediately.

Cordelia felt this gnawing gut feeling, one of dread right in the pit of her stomach, and she couldn't help herself when her mind conjured up thoughts of insecurity. That she was only ever good for one thing ⸻ messing around or one-night stands. Maybe that's why she slept around because she knew that that was all anybody wanted from her, she knew that was the closest she could get.

She didn't know why she expected Dean to feel any different ⸻ especially since Dean himself only slept around, he didn't do relationships and she knew that.

So, she sat in the back of the Impala and acted like nothing was wrong.

In the front of the car, Dean pursed his lips as he took a glance at the rear-view mirror, eyes falling on the brunette in the back seat before he looked away.

Dean knew deep down, even though he might not want to admit it out loud, that he did have feelings for Cordelia. Being stuck on the road with someone for six months certainly made that happen, but he also knew what his Dad would say. He would tell him that he didn't have time for girls, for Cordelia. That he had a job to do and he couldn't have any distractions. Dean had heard it all before.

So, he was shutting himself down. Trying to push out any feelings he had for the girl, though it was hard, seeing as she was always on his mind. Her smile, her laugh, the light in her eyes as she'd talk about her ( crappy ) movies, and every time he'd notice any of these things, he'd have to push them out of his mind and remind himself, they had a job to do.

As Sam drove, he clenched and unclenched his jaw before angling his head in his brother's direction. "Alright, so the names dad gave us, they're all couples?"

Dean nodded, staring down at his father's journal in hand. "Three different couples, all went missing," he told his brother, once again, sneaking a glance at Cordelia, who was mindlessly staring out into the night.

"And they're all from different towns, different states?" Sam questioned, his brows jumped up in curiosity.

"Yeah, Washington, New York, Colorado. Each couple took a road trip cross-country, but none of them arrived at their destination. None of 'em were ever heard from again," Dean explained, pursing his lips as he briefly took a glance over at his brother ⸻ internally fighting the urge to take another look at the quiet brunette in the back.

"Well, it's a big country, Dean. They could've disappeared anywhere," Sam argued.

"Yeah, they could've," Dean shrugged, "But each one's route took them through the same part of Indiana, always on the second week of April, one year after another after another."

"This is the second week of April," Cordelia spoke up, tone dry as she rested her head against the window.

"Yep." Was all Dean said in response.

Sam's eyes flickered between the two and his brows twitched in confusion at the weird atmosphere between the pair, but he shook it off. "So, dad is sending us to Indiana, to go hunting for something before another couple vanishes?"

Sam's words were followed with a scoff as he glanced over at Dean sceptically. The older Winchester's eyes did not stray from the journal as he pointed over at Sam.

"Yahtzee," he said before an impressed look coaxed his features. "Can you imagine putting together a pattern like this? The different obits dad had to go through ⸻ man's a master."

Dean's words seemed to irritate Sam, irritate him so much, that he shook his head lightly with a clenched jaw and pulled the car over to the side of the road.

Dean glanced up in confusion and looked around before his eyes flitted to Sam, "What you doin'?"

Cordelia too, glanced around in confusion, spotting a gas station not that far up the road ⸻ already planning an escape if things started to escalate between the two.

Cordelia didn't like to involve herself in Winchester arguments, sue her.

"We're not going to Indiana," Sam said, tone implying that there was no room for argument.

Cordelia inhaled deeply at his words, silently agreeing with him, but she also knew that there was going to be an argument of some sort.

"We're not?" Dean raised his eyebrows, giving his brother an expectant look.

Cordelia pursed her lips and her hand slid down to grab the doorhandle. "I'm gonna..." she paused, eyes flickering between the two stubborn brothers, "Head to the bathroom."

All she got in response was a short 'mhm' from either brother, they had yet to break their little staring contest.

Cordelia rolled her lips into her mouth and muttered an, "o-kay," under her breath as she got out of the Impala.

The Moore girl made her way into the small, dingy store. A bell jingled as she pushed the door open, the small, pale skinny guy behind the desk briefly looked up upon her arrival, but soon forced his attention back down to his phone.

She walked down the aisles before pushing open the door to the bathroom. She swallowed roughly as she stared at her reflection in the mirror.

Lifting her hands, she ran her fingers through her brunette locks in an attempt to smoothen her hair down as it looked a mess. She looked a mess. 

As she fiddled with her hair, she felt a strong wave of emotions crash over her ⸻ and tears prickled her eyes. She inhaled deeply and looked up at the dirty, moulding ceiling.

She didn't know why she was crying, maybe she just needed to cry or maybe she was crying because she was frustrated, with what? She couldn't tell you, there were a thousand things on Cordelia's mind. A thousand things that made a dreaded pit in the bottom of her stomach.

So, for just a few minutes, she stayed in the bathroom. Her hands were firmly planted on the cold sink as she breathed in and out, trying to calm her breathing.

By the time she had exited the gas station, it must have been ten minutes. She hoped the boys were too wrapped up in their argument to question why she was in there for so long.

When she headed to the car, her brows furrowed as she noticed Dean sat on the hood, hands stuffed in his pockets.

His head lifted at the sound of her footsteps, he eyed her for a moment, before clearing his throat and gruffly saying, "You alright?"

Dean may have been in a sour mood, and he may not have given her two glances in the past hour and a half, but he couldn't help but notice the red tinge to her cheeks and nose, as well as the slight enhancement to her eyes.

He couldn't help but ask.

"Fine," Cordelia brushed it off, swallowing roughly as she pushed down the odd feeling in her stomach at the sound of his voice. "Where's Sam?"

Dean scoffed lightly and shook his head, "Gone."

Cordelia stopped in front of the dirty blond and frowned, "Gone? What do you mean gone?"

Dean pushed his body weight off the hood of the car and gave her an impatient look, "He ran off to California. Doesn't wanna follow orders."

"Well, I'm not surprised," Cordelia shrugged, not faltering at the sharp look Dean sent her at the words that left her mouth.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Dean's tone suddenly changed, he sounded defensive.

"It means, he wants answers and he's going to get them," she argued, and when the Winchester opened his mouth to argue, she spoke up before he got the chance, "Dean, your dad knows something and it's selfish of him to keep it to himself, I mean, there's other people who deserve to-"

"If he says it's not safe, it's not safe," Dean shook his head, cutting her off. "Sam ignored a direct order-"

"Oh, that's healthy," Cordelia retorted sarcastically. "He's not a drill sergeant, Dean... you're not a soldier. You don't have to do everything he tells you to, I know you wanna find this guy as much as the rest of us."

"It's called being a good son," Dean shot back, "Just because you have a crappy relationship with your dad, don't expect me to."

Cordelia scoffed and shook her head, "You can be such an asshole, sometimes, you know that? God, and I actually thought..."

She trailed off, gnawing on her dry lips. When she didn't answer Dean rose his eyebrows, "What, Cordelia?" But when she stared at him blankly, not responding, he continued, "Look, if you think that... feel free to go with Sam."

She scoffed once again, "Dean-"

"I did fine without you both before, I can do fine without you now. Go," Dean said and his tone implied that he had made up his mind. But he knew, deep down, his words were just falling out of his mouth in word vomit, he wasn't even thinking about what he was saying. "I told Sam it was a bad idea to bring you along."

"The hell is that supposed to mean?" Cordelia spat, tone hardening.

"You don't listen, Cordelia, you do what you want-"

"Free will's a thing, you know?"

"Yeah, but you're reckless as hell and it puts Sam in danger-"

"The same Sam who just left, yeah?"

He shook his head and ignored her jab, untrue words continuing to spill from his lips. "I can't sit around and wait for you to fuck everythin' up."

He didn't want Cordelia to go, but he also knew that he was starting to close up on her ⸻ a few hours ago, the kiss, they had gotten close, and Dean had a habit of shutting down when that happened. He also knew that this was partially because of what he thought his father would say, he knew John wouldn't approve, so he had to let it go, let her go.

Cordelia, on the other hand, didn't want to go, but she also didn't want to stay somewhere she wasn't wanted, and Dean's tone ( to her ears, anyway ), sounded like that was implied.

So, she moved passed him, barging his shoulder as she did so. Maybe it was petty, maybe she was being pathetic but her ego was hurt, she was hurt.

She rounded the car and pulled open the trunk, pulling out her duffle, she flimsily opened the chamber of her gun and loaded it with silver bullets ⸻ despite the bubble of emotions brewing inside her, she still needed to be prepared, it was the middle of the night and a full moon.

As she shoved her gun in the back of her jeans, she slammed the trunk of the car shut, and the grumbled complaints that left Dean's mouth only seemed to further irritate her.

"Why did you kiss me back?" Cordelia asked, rounding the car, a deep furrow in her brows. "I mean, you've ignored me all day, so why?"

"Look, it was a mistake, alright? I... I flirt, I'm a flirty person, I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression," Dean inhaled deeply, looking away from her. His mind was screaming at him, saying it wasn't a mistake, but the words wouldn't leave his mouth. "You, uh, you better go if you wanna catch up to Sam."

Cordelia stared at him for a moment and swallowed roughly before she shook her head at his tone. It was like he'd done a three-sixty, he sounded so dejected like it wasn't even him.

"Bye, Dean," she muttered under her breath, moving past him. She hoped that he'd change his mind because if he asked, she'd stay.

But he didn't, so she continued walking.

♰

    Cordelia didn't catch up to Sam, she had no service to call him and no longer a will to live. However, she did find a bar. Who was Cordelia to turn away alcohol when the bright, illuminating blue sign was practically calling at her to enter?

So, an hour later Cordelia Moore was drunk as hell, and drunk as hell in Cordelia's world meant dancing on the top of the bar, making out with the strangers who had been eyeing her all night, calling Jess' number; sobbing into the voicemail that Jess would "know what to do" or how she should "get a cat" because a cat wouldn't hurt her.

After all that, Cordelia thought it best to muster up some money ⸻ if she was going to be travelling however far, she needed to scrape up some bus money, especially since she had spent all that she had on alcohol.

Oops.

So, she was hustling a large group of boys. Honestly, it was the easiest thing she had ever done. She was already drunk so she didn't need to act like it, and you'd think that would put her at a disadvantage, but it didn't, Cordelia was still a good shot, no matter how intoxicated.

She had to bite down the urge to smirk as one of the boys walked up behind her to "show her how to play," when they first started.

That was thirty minutes ago, and three hundred bucks later, she had a wide smile on her lips as she shuffled through the cash and stuffed it in her bra, ignoring the outraged looks she was receiving from the boys.

However, her gaze flitted over to one of the boys' girlfriends when she heard an argument brew. The boy grabbed a hold of the girl's arm, in an attempt to pull her back whilst his hand rubbed across his forehead in exasperation, and before they knew it, she shrugged out of his hold and stormed over to the Moore girl.

"You played us," the girl slurred out, clearly drunk as she angrily thrust a finger in Cordelia's face.

"No, I didn't. Sit back down," Cordelia's slurred words taunted back, though there was nothing fair about the way Cordelia played.

She went to walk away, but the girl wasn't finished. The drunk unnamed woman reached forward, in an attempt to grab at the money. Her nails clawed into the back of Cordelia's shirt, tugging her back ⸻ and in her intoxicated state meant she stumbled ever so slightly.

Hell broke loose.

A fight started when Cordelia stumbled back into her, the unknown girl grabbed the Moore by her hair and dragged her back, Cordelia let out a scream of the feeling of her hair being pulled and harshly threw her elbow back, hitting the girl in her stomach.

The girl doubled over and Cordelia spun around, sending her fist into her cheek before they were both pulled away, Cordelia by one of the bartenders and the girl by, who you could only assume was her boyfriend.

"Give me my money, you tramp!" The girl called out angrily, attempting to fight her way out of her boyfriend's grip.

"Screw you, whore!" Cordelia crooned out, trying to push away the bartender's arms from around her waist as he carried her away. Once there was a strong distance between the two, he put her back on her feet and gave her a look.

"Get some air, come back when you've calmed down or I'll kick your ass out, got it?"

She made a "mhm" sound under her breath before hastily shoving the door open. She inhaled deeply as the spring air hit her face, she pushed her hair back from her eyes and just stood, breathing in and out ⸻ trying to calm herself.

She looked around and made her way over to a group of girls stood outside, leaning against the building, and asked them if they had a cigarette. Cordelia wasn't a smoker, but if she was stressed or drunk ⸻ she tended to indulge and unfortunately for her lungs, she was both.

One of the girls handed her one and pulled out a lighter, handing it to her. She lit the cigarette and slowly strolled down the parking lot. A part of her wanted to call Sam and tell him that maybe they should head over to Indiana, where Dean was, another part of her wanted to call Dean ⸻ but she didn't know what she'd say to him, maybe she just wanted to hear his voice, but not if he sounded like he did earlier on.

The further away from the bar Cordelia got, the darker the night got as she strayed away from the street lights. She hummed to herself as she aimlessly swung her arms back and forth.

Her head whirled around as she heard a low growl from somewhere behind her. She silently dropped the cigarette to the floor after taking one last drag from it and pressed her foot down on it, smearing it into the ground. Her hand snaked to the back of her jeans, palm resting on her gun.

For a mere second, it was silent as she stared into the darkness, eyes skimming over a bush suspiciously. It was quiet, all that was heard was the nightlife, the sound of crickets, the faint rumble of a car pulling into the parking lot.

Fortunately for Cordelia, she was hidden behind a parked car, so when she pulled out her gun, the few people in the parking lot wouldn't be able to see it or her, though if she did use it, they'd hear it.

She hoped she didn't have to use it, but fate didn't appear to be on her side when suddenly a loud growl reverberated through her ears and a large figure jumped out from behind the bush, tackling her to the ground.

She yelped in surprise, but that yelp turned into a grunt of pain when sharp nails embedded in her skin and dragged in a downward motion.

Werewolves, she internally rolled her eyes.

Her hand patted around the floor in panic as she tried to reach for her gun that had fallen from her grip as she hit the ground, but she couldn't see nor find it. She turned her head, eyes hopefully looking around when she noticed the gleam of metal, mockingly shining at her from under the car they were hidden behind.

Great, she cursed.

As she stretched her arm out as far as it would go, someone beat her to kill the creature. The werewolf froze in place and Cordelia took that as an opportunity to shove it off of her. As it landed on the ground, a silver dagger was embedded in its back, her eyes shifted from the creature and up to the figure standing above her.

In her dizzy haze, her mind played tricks on her and for just a second ⸻ she believed it to be Dean.

But it wasn't, as she held a hand to her bleeding abdomen, her eyes came into focus and her face fell at the sight of Carter Branston.

Her ex-boyfriend.

She ignored the hand he held out to her and struggled as she pulled herself up. Carter huffed at her action in amusement, but worried eyes flitted down to the crimson that seeped through her top.

"Hey-"

Before Carter could get another word out, Cordelia's fist met his nose. He yelped at the action. "Holy shitballs-" he paused, blinking rapidly as if would soothe the pain. "Fucking bitch," he muttered under his breath. He clutched his, now, bleeding nose between his fingers. "Nice to see you too," he grumbled sarcastically, head tipped up to the sky with a strained smile on his lips.

But he couldn't deny, that he did miss her ⸻ even if she did just attack him.

"Asshole!" Cordelia spat through the pain, gritting her teeth as she did so. "Where the hell have you been!?"

Carter pursed his lips, grimacing as he did when a sharp pain stabbed through his face, "Uh, you know, hunting. But, we can talk later...  we need to get you patched up, Delia."

She stared at her ex-boyfriend for a long moment,  pushed down the boiling anger in her body from seeing him again, and considered her options, she knew he was right ⸻ if she let her anger take over and stood there yelling at him, she might bleed out.

She nodded reluctantly and followed him as he made a gesture in the direction of his dad's old pick-up truck. Memories of them surfaced as she saw the car, the happy ones, the sad ones, the argumentative ones... the sex.

He pulled open the back door reached down to the floorboard, and grabbed his old, tatty duffle. He then led the reluctant brunette to the back of the truck and pulled open the back door.

"Sit," he told her, dropping the bag down on the, now, flat surface. He shuffled through it before pulling out medical equipment.

Cordelia rolled her eyes and slapped his hand away as he reached forward to push her top up just a little so that he could get a look at her wound.

"I can do it myself," she deemed, snatching the cleaning solution from his hands.

He held his hands up in mocking surrender before clearing his throat, a more serious look painted across his features, "You're not gonna need stitches, but it'll leave a nasty scar."

She harshly sucked in air through her gritted teeth as she cleaned the cuts, her stomach sucking in on instinct. "Yeah? That's one more to the collection, I guess," she said, eyes pulling from her stomach and to the ground, she thought for a moment before hesitantly pulling her gaze from the ground and over to Carter. "You missed Jess' funeral. I called you."

While Cordelia didn't want to speak to Carter, her ex, she wanted Carter, her friend, at the funeral ⸻ to be there with her... for her and Sam. She wanted the best friend she had before they got together to be there.

But he wasn't.

Carter's gaze flitted to the ground, and shame filled his body. "I'm sorry, I... I broke my phone on a hunt and I know it's no excuse, but by the time I heard... I was on the other side of the country, I wouldn't have made it back in time."

Cordelia stared over at him for a second before looking away as she grabbed some gauze, fiddling with it for a second. She sighed deeply and continued to tend to her wound.

"Probably best you didn't come... Lee would've killed you if he saw you," she said and Carter smiled at her words, while she wasn't smiling ⸻ he recognised the light-hearted tone to her voice. 

"I wouldn't have blamed him," Carter shrugged lightly, watching as she tugged her top back down. She threw the solution and gauze back into his duffle.

She nibbled her lip and kissed her teeth before pushing her body up. "Now, I'm going back in that bar whether you like it or not, you can either leave or come with me and buy me something to eat, you know, so I don't pass out from, like, blood loss or somethin'."

I know, you're probably thinking, not the best idea to go to a bar after getting hurt, but Cordelia thought otherwise. She was growing lightheaded so food and water was in her favour.

She had already begun heading in the direction of the bar, not waiting for an answer. Carter hastily slammed shut the car door and caught up with her, eyes wide at her words. "Okay, one, is that the best idea?" He asked and received a wry look from the brunette, he then went on to say, "Two, me buy you something? I just saved your ass, you should be buying me something."

"Carter, you're doing it again," Cordelia sighed in exasperation, shooting him a quick look as she pulled open the bar door.

"What?" He questioned, brows furrowed as he glanced over at her. Smoothly walking through the crowds of people as Cordelia tried to search for a small table.

"Speaking."

"Nice to see you've grown as a person."

♰

    Cordelia groaned, turning her head further into the pillow as the bright sunlight from outside peaked through a gap in the curtains. Her head was ringing and her stomach practically was screaming in pain... and hunger.

"Advil's on the side." A familiar voice from the other side of the room pointed out. Her head whirled around at a fast pace in surprise, her mouth dropped in shock as she caught sight of her uncle Lee sat by a small table, a mug of hot, steaming coffee in hand. He lifted his head at the sound of her movement. "You look like shit," he drawled nonchalantly, taking a sip of his coffee.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Cordelia asked with a frown, pushing her body up so that she was sat up ⸻ she grimaced as a pain shot through her stomach. She reached over for the pills and water, tossing two into her mouth she then took a sip of water. "Where am I, anyway?"

"Carter called me," Lee answered her first question. "Said you were hurt and drunk. Where's Sam, Cordelia? I thought you were with him and his brother."

"Something came up," Cordelia shrugged in answer, Lee stared at her for a moment ⸻ he knew his niece and he figured that was all he was going to get out of her. "So, Carter called you, huh? What'd you say to him, I can't imagine you being all... friendly with him."

Lee rolled his eyes and placed his mug on the small table beside him. "He's a stupid boy for callin' me, I told him I'd break his neck ⸻ but when he said you were hurt, I... what the hell happened, Cor?"

"Werewolf," she shrugged and pushed herself up off the bed, she was still wearing her clothes from last night, blood-stained clothes, she needed a shower like now. "Where is he, anyway?"

"Went to go get breakfast, I think he was scared to be in the same room as me for too long," Lee answered, a small smile creeping on his lips at his words.

"Alright, well I'm gonna-" but before she could finish her sentence, her phone began to ring from somewhere in the room. She frowned and began searching for it, pulling back the bed sheets and throwing pillows onto the floor before her eyes caught sight of it. She pursed her lips as she read Sam's contact name.

"Sam?" Lee guessed, receiving a nod and a look of confusion in answer. "Carter said he called you a couple times while you were out."

"Right," Cordelia nodded before moving over to the motel door, "I better..."

She didn't finish her sentence as she walked outside, the cold mid-afternoon air hitting her skin. She inhaled deeply and brushed her fingers through her hair before accepting the call, lifting her phone to her ear.

"Hey."

"Hey? I've called you, like, twenty times and all I get is 'hey'?" Sam's exasperated tone spoke down the phone, and without him even being there, Cordelia could see him shaking his head.

"I just got up, calm down, mom," she mocked with an eye-roll, but couldn't deny the smile that crept on her lips ⸻ he wasn't even in her vicinity and he was still worrying about her.

"I, uh, I just spoke to Dean," Sam began hesitantly as he looked down at the ground in the bus station. "Said you left."

"Mhm."

Once again, she could feel Sam practically rolling his eyes at her. "What happened?"

"Nothing," Cordelia denied, squinting her eyes as the sun blared down at her. Before Sam could continue, she kept talking, knowing that he would question her further, "We had a... small disagreement, I guess," she pursed her lips, not knowing how to answer his question. "But, Lee's here with me, so it's not all bad, you know? We're gonna... we're gonna keep looking and um, I won't have your asshole of a dad, no offence, deciding what's safe and what isn't."

She failed to mention how Carter was also there, somewhere, anyway, because she knew that Sam would be angry ⸻ scratch that, he'd be furious.

Sam huffed out a laugh at her words, "You gonna be okay without me?"

"Please," Cordelia scoffed lightly. "I'll be fine, it's your ass that's gonna be lost without me," a smile curled at her lips as Sam's soft laugh echoed through the device, but that smile soon turned into a solum frown, "I better get going, I'll see you when I see you, I guess."

"That sounds like a goodbye," Sam pointed out, his smile falling. "A proper goodbye."

"It's not, I promise," she argued quietly, fingers reaching up to fiddle with her necklace on reflex. "Bye, Sam."

"Bye, Cordy."

Just as Cordelia pulled her phone away from her ear and moved to shove it into her back pocket, the small device buzzed. She flipped it open and smiled down at the screen.

'you better answer me when I call you tomorrow.'

♰

    It had been a few weeks since then, and Cordelia had decided to stick with Lee and Carter for a little while longer. Over the few weeks, Cordelia had worked on a few cases with them. Any cases that were remotely similar to Jess' death ⸻ but they came up empty.

She even tried to track John Winchester himself, but damn that man could cover his tracks.

Since then, she had kept in touch with Sam.

Speaking of...

Cordelia rolled her eyes as she pulled her buzzing phone from her back pocket ⸻ she came to a stand from the squatting position she was in and held her phone up to her ear.

"Hello, Samuel," her tone was bored as she tossed her shovel to the ground, her eyes met Carter's from across the graveyard and he gave her a nod in an 'you okay?' motion, to which she nodded back.

"Hey," Sam replied, he sounded in a whole better mood than she was in. "How's your hunt going?"

"Great. Teenage witches and spirits, it's like Christmas," Cordelia smiled lightly. "What about yours? Wasn't it an old friend of Dean's or something?"

"Huh, yeah, well that old friend turned out to be an old girlfriend," Sam replied, amusement clear in his words. Cordelia could practically see the wide smile on his lips. "And, he spent the night with her, still waiting on him now."

"Oh, yeah?" Cordelia tried to sound interested, but a sick feeling bubbled in her stomach and her heart sank.

"Mhm, he's... oh, he's back..." Sam's words trailed off, his attention flitting to something else ⸻ Dean, most likely.

Cordelia faintly heard the quiet voice of the older Winchester in the background, she was pretty sure he asked who Sam was on the phone to.

"Cordy. You wanna say hi? Or apologise?" No matter how much Sam lowered his voice, Cordelia still heard his muttered words.

Before Dean could even answer his brother's words, Cordelia spoke up. "Look, I've gotta go, Lee needs me to finish up with the body."

After Sam said his goodbyes and Cordelia shoved her phone in her back pocket, she let out a sigh.

She didn't know if she ended the phone that quickly because she didn't want to speak to Dean or she was scared that Dean didn't want to talk to her.

"You used to be a better liar." A voice from behind her said, she rolled her eyes.

Of course Carter was listening.

"You're an easy guy to lie to," she shot back, turning to face her ex-boyfriend. "Flash a little boob and you believed anything."

"Not true," Carter looked offended at her words, a frown settled on his face.

"No?" Cordelia asked, pushing her hair back from her face before she lightly tugged her top down, just a little ⸻ not showing too much, but giving Carter an eye full of something he hadn't seen in a while.

The Branston boy pursed his lips, eyes falling for a second before he shook his head and averted his gaze to the sky. "Put them away, I won't fall for that anymore," he mumbled, giving her arm a light shrug. "Your games won't work on me."

"Mhm," she nodded unconvincingly whilst tugging her top up.

"Let's get out of here, I wanna head to the bar, see if I get lucky," Carter wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and the Moore girl rolled her eyes.

You'd think she would be bothered, hearing her ex talk like that ⸻ but in all honesty, she didn't care much for it. It didn't hurt her, it didn't affect her, she just laughed about it.

"What do you mean, if you get lucky? Your standards are so low you always get lucky," Cordelia taunted as she bent down to pick up the shovel she had earlier tossed to the ground.

"No surprise you and I dated then, is it?" Carter shot back jokingly, the Moore gasped theatrically and went to swing at him with the shovel ⸻ but he moved out of the way just in time, a wide smile on his lips.

Cordelia reciprocated that smile.

Carter Branston may have been a terrible boyfriend, but he was a good friend, and before he was her boyfriend, he was her best friend ⸻ in their time apart both had come to the realisation that maybe they should've stayed friends.

"Come on, let's go get me laid," he slung an arm around her shoulder which, not even a second later, she threw off.

"You're so disgusting."

Author's Note! *chapter is unedited*
qotd: least favourite SPN season??

also let's be so real, that 'argument/disagreement' between Cordy and dean was so unserious, i mean, theyre being stubborn like she didnt need to leave and he didn't need to be all dean, but for the plot bitches

carter is finally here, he's not only gonna be used for jealousy purposes, but he's gonna be a love interest for jo I think

also, i changed cordy's fc if u didnt already notice lmao and what do u all think of carter so far??