⋆｡𖦹°‧★. . FINALLY INTRODUCING ANGEL'S CODE'S FLOWER GIRL, DEIJI!

[ ★ 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐀 — 𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎 ]

(✿) STAGE NAME — deiji
(✿) BIRTH NAME — kwak deiji ( 곽데이지 )
(✿) NICKNAMES —
★%. deij — just a shortened version of Deiji, used by members, friends, family etc.

★%. jiji — just simple name play, used by members, friends, family, etc.

★%. flower girl — due to her name being the Korean word for daisy, created and used by fans

(✿) AGE — 23
(✿) DATE OF BIRTH — march 9, 2001
(✿) ZODIAC SIGN — pisces
(✿) PLACE OF BIRTH — seodaemun-gu, seoul, south korea
(✿) HOMETOWN — seodaemun-gu, seoul, south korea

(✿) NATIONALITY — south korean
(✿) ETHNICITY — korean
(✿) LANGUAGE SPOKEN —
★%. KOREAN — 1OO/1OO
★%. KSL — 5O/1OO

(✿) GENDER — cis female
(✿) PRONOUNS — she/her
(✿) SEXUAL ORIENTATION — demisexual
(✿) ROMANTIC ORIENTATION — heteroromantic
(✿) RELATIONSHIP STATUS — in a relationship ( not revealed to public )
(✿) SIGNIFICANT OTHER — hwang hyunjin ( stray kids )

(✿) HEIGHT — 5'4" / 163cm
(✿) WEIGHT — not disclosed
(✿) BLOOD TYPE — B
(✿) BODY MODIFICATIONS — n/a
(✿) FACE CLAIM —nana ( woo!ah! )

[ ★ 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐁 — 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎 ]

(✿) COMPANY — yuehua entertainment ( 2019- present )
(✿) PAST COMPANIES — ist entertainment ( 2013-2014 ), jellyfish entertainment ( 2014-2016 ), sm entertainment ( 2016-2018 )
(✿) TRAINEE DURATION — 7 years
(✿) YEARS ACTIVE — 4 years
(✿) POSITIONS IN GROUP — main vocalist, visual

(✿) SKILL ASSESMENT —
★%. VOCAL — 1OO/1OO
★%. RAP — 25/1OO
★%. DANCE — 85/1OO
★%. VISUALS — 1OO/1OO
★%. STAGE PRESENCE — 9O/1OO
★%. PUBLIC SPEAKING — 25/1OO
★%. PRODUCING — 9O/1OO
★%. LYRICISM — 1OO/1OO
★%. VARIETY — 15/1OO
★%. ACTING — 25/1OO

(✿) WHICH MEMBERS IS DEIJI SHIPPED WITH? —
★%. CHOHEE

★%. XIANG

(✿) ROLE MODELS —
★%. GIRLS' GENERATION (ESP. TAEYEON) — as deiji's first ever kpop group and the one that helped her the most through her mother's passing, it was impossible for deiji to not to look up to them. she really admired taeyeon in particular and was in awe of her singing. she thought (and still does, mind you) that she had the most amazing singing voice she'd ever heard. even after her debut, deiji still aspires to be more like her.

(✿) IDOL FRIENDS —
★%. KARINA, WINTER, NINGNING (AESPA) — though deiji's later year at sm wasn't the best, she was able to strike up a friendship with the three in her first year there. deiji was overjoyed for them when she heard that they debuted, and once she did as well the four decided to try and rekindle their old friendship.

★%. CHAEHYUN (KEP1ER) — since chaehyun was also a trainee at the same time as deiji, the two knew each other as well. while chaehyun was on girls planet, deiji practically forced the others to vote for her, and was ecstatic when she debuted. after that, they too took to reviving their friendship.

★%. CHAERYEONG (ITZY) — deiji's only friend whom she didn't know as a trainee, she and chaeryeong met backstage at and award show and the two clicked immediately. they became fast friends, and fans are in no shortage of interactions between the two.

[ ★ 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐂 — 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎 ]

(✿) PERSONALITY —

★%. SHY — if you had to describe deiji using three words, they would undoubtedly be "shy, shy, shy". she tends to be very awkward around new people, and unless she takes a liking to you, it takes her a while to come out of her shell. she's a little more on the quiet side, and is oftentimes a bit uneasy in social settings. naturally timid in nature, deiji is the type to unsurely hover around in the background unless she's encouraged by someone else to join in. she isn't one to normally put herself out there, much less around strangers. however, given enough time, she'll usually be able to get past her initial shyness and sense of awkwardness and warm up to the situation, even if it's only slightly.

★%. CARING — deiji really is one of the sweetest and most caring people you will ever meet. extremely compassionate, she truly cares a lot about those around her, and puts their needs and feelings in high regard. no matter what it is, whether it's someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, or simply just to be left alone, deiji will be there to do whatever it is that you need. she's very empathetic and emotionally sensitive and has a way of knowing just how others feel, and how to go about handling it. and despite her reserved nature, deiji is a very loving and affectionate person who, in her own small ways, is always letting people know how much they mean to her.

★%. PEOPLE PLEASING — deiji is without a doubt one of the biggest people pleasers ever to grace the earth. she can't bear being disliked and does everything in her power to keep it from happening. she's always going out of her way to make people happy and finds it nearly impossible to say no to anyone. she tends to be very weak-willed and compliant, going along with whatever others say or tell her to do and rarely standing or speaking up for herself. this makes her a complete pushover, and as a result easy to take advantage of. whenever someone disagrees with or degrades her, she'll immediately back down and agree, making no attempt to fight back. whatever someone wants her to do she'll do it, in hopes of not upsetting them. she's constantly bending over backwards for people, even those who have wronged her, possessing absolutely no sense of self will.

★%. PASSIONATE — though she may not look it, deiji is a deeply passionate and dedicated person, putting her all into everything she does. she always tries to do a job the best she can, believing that if you're going to do something, you should do it 100%. she's someone who is fully devoted to everything that she does, never leaving anything unfinished and being determined to see it through to the end. deiji really values work ethic and commitment, and always tries to do things with her heart, to make whatever she's doing a reflection of herself and the effort she's put in it. even if what she's doing is ordinary and mundane, she still tries to do her best and make it count, because in her mind, how much you try can truly make all the difference.

★%. INSECURE — deiji tends to be rather insecure, harboring very little confidence in herself or her abilities. she's always downplaying and devaluing her achievements and refuting compliments in what can at first be interpreted as humility, which is partially true, but if you look deeper you'll find that she really believes what she's saying. she's constantly second guessing herself and comparing herself to others, and struggles a lot with feelings of inferiority. she's also very self critical, expecting herself to be of a certain standard, and berating herself harshly if she doesn't meet it. she hardly ever views herself or her performance in things as good enough, which has led her to becoming incredibly needy and approval seeking, looking to others to provide her the reassurance and validation she won't give herself.

★%. CREATIVE — deiji is a very creative person and artistic type of person, filled to the brim with enthusiasm and ideas. she thrives immensely in situations in which you need to think abstractly or originally, and can find inspiration in just about anything. she has no trouble thinking from an out of the box perspective, and has always loved the prospect of being able to make something out of nothing, drawing from her own life experience in a way. with a natural knack for almost anything to do with creation, she's very drawn to artistic and intuitive sorts of things that don't have a "right" answer and that can be interpreted and seen differently depending on who you ask. having lived for so long in an environment where nothing less than perfection was accepted, she goes out of her way to participate in unstructured and open-ended types of activities, and revels in the sense of the freedom they bring her.

★%. EVASIVE — one of deiji's worst traits is likely her evasiveness. without a single confrontational bone in her body, she's someone who heavily relies on avoidance and ignoration when things are bothering her. in short, deiji is a bit of a coward. whenever she's met with an issue or situation she really doesn't want to face, she'll dance around it, putting it off for as long as she can and making excuses so she won't have to confront it. deiji has always been someone with a tendency to run away from or "escape" from her problems, blocking them out and just hoping they'll go away. she'll refuse to talk about it, shutting down whenever it's mentioned and pretty much denying it's existence as a desperate attempt to have some amount of control over the situation. this girl will quite literally go to the ends of the earth to avoid things, and will only stop and face it when either forced to or all other options have exhausted themselves.

★%. PERCEPTIVE — deiji is an exceptionally perceptive and discerning person, paying very close and detailed attention to things. insightful and observant, almost nothing gets past her, and she has a tendency to be hyperaware of her surroundings, both in the way of physical aspects and the mannerisms and characteristics of those around her. she's never been one to take something by its surface level only, whether that be by curiosity or cynicism, and instead looks deeper into things than most, no matter if it's behaviors, patterns, or something else. despite being as awkward as she is, due to her attentiveness, deiji really is quite good at analyzing and reading other people's motives and feelings. she also has a way of looking at things in a different light, and the ever-useful ability to distance herself from a situation and look at it in an objective and unbiased view.

★%. EMOTIONALLY SUPRESSIVE — deiji is extremely suppressive of what she deems to be "negative" emotions, bottling them up and attempting to ignore them until she's finally unable to. all her years in training have led her to develop the mindset that any non-positive emotions are a sign of weakness, something never to be seen if you can help it, and anything that's not a variant of happiness or contentment is locked up and tucked far, far away from where anyone can see. she always has her guard up, keeping a smile on her face and almost never letting anyone in on how she feels. her refusal and oftentimes just sheer inability to express her feelings often leads to them coming out all at once, set off by the tiniest things. she'll end up exploding at someone for breathing too loud, or breaking down in tears because they're out of bread. in the end, her outbursts only cause her to feel more ashamed, leading her to continue to suppress them further.

★%. GENTLE — deiji has always had an overall very soft and gentle persona, the type to never hurt so much as a fly. she's always very patient and understanding with others, and tries her best to be considerate and respectful and never push people. a peacemaker at heart, she can always be counted on to act as a mediator in disagreements, despite her dislike for both confrontation and conflict, and to try to find the best solution for everyone. she's also extremely intent on making sure she's someone whom others can trust and depend on.

(✿) BACKGROUND — deiji was born in the spring of 2001, just before midnight on the night of march 9th. and for the first eight years of her life things were perfect. she had loving parents and an adoring brother, and deiji's life seemed like it was straight out of a fairy tale. however all that shattered when it was discovered that her mother had a heart disease. deiji didn't quite understand — at just barely eight years old, the situation was far too complicated for her to completely understand — but she did know the gist of it. her mom was sick. and she might not get better. deiji soon noticed a stark difference in her life. there was less playing and less laughing, and her mom was gone more and more. to the doctors, her dad told her. but he assured her that she would get better soon. her mom was going to be fine. she had nothing to worry about. but her mom's condition got steadily worse, and mere weeks after deiji reached ten, she was gone. her mother had always been the world to her, the most important person in her life. she had been her protector, her rock. and now all of that had disappeared completely. she felt as if there was a gaping hole inside of her, depthless and unfixable, unable to ever be filled again. if it were possible to run out of tears, deiji would have.

nothing was the same after that. the following months marked one of the lowest points in her life. her father was barely holding on, completely torn apart by his wife's death. the medical bills had piled up, and now, on top of them and the groceries and home payments, there were the funeral costs to worry about. and he had no idea how he was going to manage it all. he was able to stay strong for deiji and her brother, but that was all. once they left for school, he couldn't bring himself to do anything, no matter how hard he tried. this continued well into april, until he was fired from his job because of his frequent absences. this seemed to slap him into a state of sobriety. mourning forced aside, he poured all his energy into finding a new job, doing everything he could to try and keep the family afloat.

all the while, deiji tried everything she could think of to distract herself. her mother's death had left her feeling irrevocably lost and confused, and the only way she could even begin to cope was by keeping her mind off it all. in the end, it was music that became deiji's savior. it offered her a sense of solace that nothing else did, and everyday she became more and more immersed until there was barely a time where you would find her without headphones on. it didn't stop the pain, not by a long shot, but it helped. every so often, on days where deiji felt a bit better, the usual stabbing pains of loss temporarily reduced to a dull ache, she would entertain herself with fantasies of becoming a singer herself. everything about the life seemed so glamourous, so different from her own. they were frivolous, unrealistic things, but still deiji couldn't help but hold them close to her heart.

as the months went on, the kwak's finances began to sink lower and lower. deiji's mother had been the family's main provider, and her absence was taking its toll. they managed for a year and a half before, unable to meet the mortgage, were forced to sell their home.

deiji was distraught, not wanting to let go of what she felt was all she had left of her mom. things had finally started to get better, and now everything was crashing down again. and so once again, she turned to music. only this time, however unexpected it was, she found herself starting to sing too. although she did horribly on the high notes and stumbled over the english parts, it didn't matter. singing seemed to have a rejuvenating effect on her. the walls of their new apartment were thin and she shared a room with her brother, but neither of those things stopped the usually perpetually shy girl. deiji, it seemed, was simply meant to sing.

the following year went without much change, except that deiji's life finally, for real this time, seemed to be looking up. time, with the help of her newfound love for singing, seemed to be slowly but surely closing up the gaping hole she'd felt inside her for so long. the one that she once thought would never heal. it was here when she truly began to consider becoming a singer. an idol, specifically. it was an incredible long shot, but a tiny, hopeful part of her couldn't help but believe that it was possible.

with a lot of effort, the kwak's had always been able to make ends meet, if only just. however, never having been able to fully recover from the loss of deiji's mother's income, once the necessities were paid for, they had next to nothing leftover. so when their apartment's rent was raised, they were in no position to accommodate it. and until they were able to find a new apartment, this left deiji, now twelve, and her father and brother homeless. luckier than most, they were able to find residence in a shelter, her dad working harder than ever and her brother getting a part time job as well. the whole situation unsettled deiji greatly. the realization that she had lost her home, that they could not afford to keep it, could not afford to immediately bounce back, unnerved her. she'd known that they had been poor — it would have been impossible to hide — but she'd had no idea that they had been this bad off.

deiji spent her days in the shelter plagued with an immovable sense of fear and guilt. though she knew she ought to be thankful, she hated the shelter. she hated sleeping in a room full of strangers and the sense of insecurity it brought. she also couldn't help but feel responsible for it all. her father worked so hard to provide for them, and now that he was old enough her brother worked too, while deiji just sat by uselessly, nothing but another mouth to feed. if it weren't for her, they both could have still been up in their old apartment. suddenly becoming a trainee became not just a want but a thing of practicality. if she were away as a trainee, they would not have to pay to care for her and all the money she was sure she took up could go towards themselves and the rent. with deiji gone, they could finally begin to pull themselves up. it only took a week in the shelter for deiji to make her decision.

the next morning, deiji expressed her desire to begin auditioning to become an idol to her father. it took some convincing, but with a little pleading on deiji's part and some advocation from her brother (who possessed the ability to read deiji like an open book and had known about her aspirations for years), but in the end he agreed. and so, once again, deiji found music coming to her rescue.

deiji couldn't even make it through the doors of the building for her first audition. in fact, simply the sight of the building made her feel so scared she began to shake and second guess everything right then and there. but she had to try. for her family, for herself. after all, it was all she'd ever wanted, wasn't it...? still, no matter how hard she tried she couldn't make herself step within those doors. her second audition, which was for ist entertainment, fared much better. albeit, she was so nervous she was genuinely afraid she was going to pass out, and nearly did once it was time for her to audition. but it was just singing, she had to remind herself. it was just singing. she could do that. so she did. and a few weeks later she received notice that she had been accepted.

deiji only lasted four months before she was kicked out. adjusting to trainee life had been hell for deiji, the shy, timid little girl who'd never been apart from her family for more than a day. and those first few weeks she spent struggling cost her dearly, leading her to fall far behind the others. so when four months passed and deiji still had not approved to an acceptable standard, she was let go. deiji was absolutely crushed. in fact, she very well would've given up if it hadn't been for her brother, who, upon receiving the news, urged her to keep trying. despite how upset she was, deiji knew that he was right. that deep down she would never truly forgive herself if she gave up. and so on she went.

her next company was jellyfish entertainment, and deiji practiced and practiced as if her life depended on it. she still missed her family, sometimes laying awake at night wishing she could go back and be with them in the small apartment they'd begun to rent two weeks or so after she'd first become a trainee. but the homesickness she had felt in the beginning of her trainee period had been reduced to an occasional ache, leaving her to put her full focus on training. and steadily she began to make progress. her singing became better and better, and her dance skills followed not far behind. lack of improvements was the last thing her company would kick her out for now. all the same, when her contract came to its end, deiji, feeling she just wasn't suited for jellyfish entertainment, left in search of someplace new.

deiji's next round of auditions landed her at sm entertainment, the company she'd dreamed of getting into ever since she first wanted to become an idol. unfortunately, her years spent here were some of her worst mentally. perhaps it was because she was in such a big company or maybe it was because she was older, but it was then that deiji began to really feel the pressure of being a trainee. of being a potential idol. a little less than a year after she began training, deiji began pushing herself to the limit, practicing nonstop and barely sleeping, sometimes even neglecting to completely. somehow, it just didn't seem important anymore. somewhere along the line, she slowly began to starve herself as well. the prettier you were, the more likely you were to be a front runner. and when it came to being a trainee, the skinnier you were, the prettier you were. it started with cutting off any snacks and only eating meals, but eventually she started to skip those too, until sometimes she'd go a whole day without eating anything. the feelings of emptiness became almost addicting, each stab of hunger giving her a twisted sense of validation.

deiji stopped contacting her family, and distanced herself from the other trainees. life began to feel utterly and irrefutably hopeless. everyday was the same and she felt like a robot just going through the motions. nothing seemed to bring her joy anymore, not even singing. everything felt empty, like a mere shell of its former self. and deiji hated herself for feeling like that. wasn't this what she'd always wanted? to be one of the top trainees at sm, to be a shoo in for achieving her dreams of becoming a singer? how ungrateful was she, comparing one of the worst times of her life to a time where she had everything she wanted, a time where hundreds of others would kill for what she had? yet no matter how much she reprimanded herself, she still couldn't seem to shake the sense of lethargy that had settled down on her shoulders. in fact, it just seemed to get worse. and so, not knowing what else to do, deiji continued on her path of self destruction. it was only after deiji had begun to faint multiple times a day did she finally begin to realize the severity of the situation. and it scared her. it was as if she'd been in a daze the whole time, and only her repeated loss of consciousness and the fear that accompanied it had been able to snap her out of it.

deiji had no idea who to turn to or what to do. she couldn't stand to worry her father or brother and was too scared and ashamed to even think of opening up to anyone else. for the third time now, music saved her. it all started out as a letter. even if the words never reached anyone else's eyes, deiji needed to get them out. she wrote down everything, her sorrows, her fears, her anxieties and insecurities. it all went onto the cramped, teardrop-stained page. and that page soon turned to pages, and eventually, those pages turned into poems, and then into songs. for as long as she could remember, deiji had always had trouble with words and with speaking up. it seemed fitting that they should come out through song instead. because if there was one thing deiji knew, and had always known, it was that she was meant to sing.

now, writing songs in no way magically made everything better. it gave her an outlet and a way to cope, but it in no way solved the whole problem. deiji's journey of improvement was rough and full of difficulties, failures, and setbacks. more times than she could count, she found herself slipping back into her old habits. but no matter how hard it got or how much she wanted to give up, she kept going. slowly, she began to make improvements. she forced herself to stop practicing so much and started sleeping for more than a few hours again. she tried to eat at least one full meal a day, even if the anxiety and guilt that came after it was unbearable. she forced herself to take breaks while training. and when she found herself getting overwhelmed or obsessive again, she wrote. bit by bit, little by little, things began to get better. when the time came for deiji to renew her contract, she ultimately decided to leave. she knew that she may have been giving up a big opportunity, but the place held too many bad memories, and she needed a fresh start. and so once again, deiji continued on.

deiji's next and last company was yuehua. before she had left sm she had made a promise to herself; if she didn't debut at her next company, she would be saying goodbye and going home. she didn't want to give up — she truly didn't — but she knew that she couldn't go on like this forever. mentally, she knew she wouldn't be able to endure it, and she was already nearing what most companies would deem "too old" to debut anyways. eventually, she would have to call it quits. she only hoped she didn't have to.

throughout her time at yuehua, deiji continued to work through her difficulties, until she finally had overcome the worst of them. every once in a while, they would flare up again, and deiji suspected she would need longer to truly be rid of them, but they were no longer an everyday struggle. and for the first time in years, deiji found herself beginning to feel truly happy again. and then came the moment she had been waiting, wishing, and hoping for forever; it was announced to her that she would finally be making her debut. if it were possible to run out of tears, deiji would have.

(✿) HABITS — moving/making small gestures with her hands while she talks, holding her hands close to her chest/playing with her shirt collar when she's anxious, making on and off eye contact with people she doesn't know well, swinging her feet slightly when she's sitting down, bouncing on the balls of her feet whenever she's excited
(✿) HOBBIES — songwriting, drawing, doing puzzles, baking, photography, taking walks, astronomy, decorating for events/holidays/seasons, yoga, journaling/calligraphy

(✿) LIKES — music, fluffy blankets, lavender scents, feeling wanted, polaroid photos, routines, the moon & stars, helping others, lemon flavored things, wildflowers
(✿) DISLIKES — heights, loud noises, arguing, cream cheese, storms, being lied to, styrofoam, unpredictability, anything horror related, feathers & birds.

(✿) TRIVIA —
★ she has an affinity for all things pretty and loves collecting things such as jewelry, flowers, pins, shells and crystals

★ her favorite color is bright yellow because it feels happy and positive

★ she has insomnia and unless she's been jumped up on melatonin, can be found doing anything but sleeping at night — her members have a running joke about her being naturally nocturnal

★ she's a big animal lover and has probably asked to get every animal in existence as a pet at some point in her childhood

★ she has awful eyesight and has wanted to get LASIK for years, but has always been too scared to do so

★ she loves everything and anything to do with romance and practically lives on the hallmark channel during december

★ her favorite subject when she was in school always used to be writing and language arts

★ she's absolutely terrible at aegyo, mainly due to the fact that she always gets extremely embarrassed and unable to follow through whenever she tries

★ she's always looking out for the other members, even those older than her, so much so that despite not being the oldest she's almost considered the mom of the group in some ways

★ she used to have a lisp when she was young, but she outgrew it when she was around age seven

★ she really loves fruit smoothies and nearly always has one for or with her breakfast

★ she frequently donates to various charities and homeless shelters in order to try and help disadvantaged people and families much like her own once was

★ she has a slight obsession with faerie lights and has them strung up all over, and i mean all over her dorm room

★ she's someone who loves learning new things and picking up new hobbies

★ she absolutely hates heights and flying, though has had to get used to the latter since becoming an idol

★ her favorite season is springtime because of the warm weather and flowers

★ she tends to struggle with panic attacks due to the immense pressure for perfection both herself and and idol life put on her

★ she has a four year old brother named haneul who she loves with her life (and who is probably personally responsible for at least a half of the group's album sales)

★ she's a tea fanatic with her favorite type being herbal tea — in fact she probably drinks it more than she does regular water

★ she often feels like she missed out on a lot of her youth as all of her teenage years were spent training, and spends a lot of her time trying to make up for it

★ she'd want to be either a photographer or songwriter if she wasn't a singer, though she really can't imagine herself in any other career

★ she's a huge fan of the harry potter series and is a self proclaimed hufflepuff

★ she has scarily good aim, yet no one knows how she got it since she's complete rubbish at sports

★ she never learnt how to swim as a kid and is now too embarrassed about the fact to try and learn

★ her favorite ice cream flavor is vanilla and she absolutely will not stand for any "boring" slander

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ ♡ INCOMING BLURB FROM CHELS! <33

hii guys! i know its been a while but our next member deiji is finally here!! i hope u all love her as much as i do <33

anyways hope u are all having a great day/night, see u all soon <33

xoxo, chelsea