I don't think I could have replicated Marcus' shocked expression.

"What do you mean she's gone? Gifts can't just leave a vampire out of the blue," he said rapidly, looking me up and down to see if I was okay. "That simply can't be true. Gifts are a part of a vampire, not just some fleeting-"

"She's not technically gone, she just hasn't been saying anything. When I look at someone I just know instead of her telling me in my head. It's like she's been watching and not doing anything for over a month now and I don't know what I did wrong. I thought we were friends," My voice cracks at the memory of our old conversations. "I've been a vampire for three years now. It's been the same thing over and over again for three years. Why did she have to leave? I just want her to talk to me again."

"That's why you've been out here," he realizes, walking closer to me. "Tesoro, I'm so sorry. If we had known we could have tried to help you. I've never heard of a gift like yours, but it must have been caused by something."

"I don't know what it could have been caused by, Marcus. It doesn't make any sense," My mate embraced me, holding me close in his arms. "Three years and she's never been this distant with me. It feels like she's gone but she's still there, just watching from afar and letting me learn without her. It's awful. I hate it."

Heading back to our nest, I saw Aro and Caius playing a game of chess when we arrived inside, looking like they were about to break out into a fight over it. They both turned to me and put away the chess board, as they would be able to pick up where they had left off some other time.

"Cara mia," Caius crooned, making his way to where Marcus and I were. "You seem upset, mia regina. Please don't be upset."

Aro carefully made his way over to me, peppering kisses on my jawline. Once he had come up to kiss my head, his eyes glazed over, shifting through my thoughts and memories. When he came back, he let out a deep sigh. "Mia regina, perché non ce l'hai detto prima? Dobbiamo sapere cosa sta succedendo nella tua vita, il che significa anche il tuo dono."

"Mi dispiace, Aro, non volevo tenerlo nascosto. Tutta questa cosa è stata stressante e so che saresti preoccupato per questo. Prometto che non succederà più," I apologized, nuzzling myself into my king's neck. "Ti amo così tanto tesoro."

"Anche noi ti amiamo, mia regina."

____________________________________________

The rest of my week was spent worrying about every little thing that came to my mind. Was this too old? Maybe. Was I being too annoying? Perhaps. Did I know what I was doing even when I had been queen for the past three years? I doubt it.

All of my worries had come to me at once, never leaving me alone. Aro tried to make sure I was comfortable at all times, but physical comfort wasn't what I needed. I was emotionally uncomfortable, the worst sort of discomfort. I hated how I felt but I didn't know how to change it. It wasn't like vampires could go into therapy for their issues, we had to work everything out all by ourselves.

Even with my coven around me, I was becoming more and more isolated from everyone. I didn't want to talk, I just wanted to read or do things by myself. It got lonely. Being a vampire was getting lonely.

What had me confused was mostly the why. I had been abandoned so many times during my life, but this time I didn't expect it. She was there with me, chatting away, one day, and the next she basically just vanished into thin air.

I had done my fair share of reading over the books that had been created on vampires and their gifts and limitations. Nothing could tell me why my gift was acting up. Maeve didn't even seem like a gift, more like a literal person inside of my head. Aro had told me that she didn't seem like a split personality from the way my thoughts moved with her, so what was she?

Her general absence was not like any other. Before it was like she just wasn't there, like my mind was free of any visitors. Now, it felt like she was creeping up on me, ready to say something but never speaking at all.

It was likely the most horrific thing I'd ever felt.

"Amore," Aro whispered into my chest, clinging onto me like a young child in need of affection. "Don't stress yourself so much. I am sure that all of this will resolve itself soon. If you wish, we can leave the castle and take a vacation."

His suggestion was affirmed by a nuzzle from Caius, who had taken to wrapping himself in blankets and snuggling into my small body. The two of them were content laying on me, even if it meant they had to share for a while.

"We could take the kids on a trip to Greece," my mate suggested, kissing one of my shoulder blades lovingly. "You have never seen our homeland, nor have the hybrids. It would be a lovely time. Alexandros always allows us into his territory."

"You really want to go to Greece, don't you?" I giggled, slipping my fingers into his long hair. "Fine, we can go, just make sure that Marcus isn't left out of the loop. Poor baby shouldn't have any more surprises after the stunt you pulled with the bucket last year. I think he was terrified."

"Yes, that bucket of slime was a pretty fun prank," Caius said. "He and Carlisle are too easy to tease, don't you think, amore?"

"No. Teasing my handsome mate is not what I like to spend my time doing," my two kings sighed and continued to hold onto me like I was the most precious thing in the world. Hell, in their eyes I'm pretty sure I am the most precious thing in the world. "Seriously, don't mess around with your brother. He loves you but he's sensitive to all of that."

"Sensitive," Aro huffed.

"Yes, sensitive. Men can be sensitive too, you know? Be nice to him, you buffoons," Caius whined and pulled at my arm, tugging it down so he could hold onto it. "Caius, baby, what are you doing with my poor arm? What did my arm ever do to you?"

"It's comfy," was all he said, tossing a blanket over his head like a child.

"Ok well we have a trial in like ten minutes so I think you'll have to stop being comfy for an hour or two," both of my mates let out childish whines as I reminded them that we had trial in a few minutes. "Come on, get up, get up."

The two of them complied, finding themselves out of the bed, their hair messy. Aro walked over to the mirror in order to comb through his long hair. Caius did the same, using his own comb in order to fix up the disarray on his head.

Even when things weren't well, I put on a smile.

____________________________________________

Seconds after ripping off the head of another vampire that had crossed over into Volterra to feed, I realized just how many vampires I had killed. I mean, they were criminals, but they were still people. Stupid morals. Why are you here? When have you ever hated me like this? I've been doing this for three years, this isn't my first kill. I hate this right now. Mind, leave me alone so I can go on with the rest of my life that isn't going to ever end.

"Marcus," Aro turned to his brother, who was sitting with me on his throne. "Do you want to go to Greece?"

"What kind of question is that?" Marcus chuckled. "Have you already gone over this plan with Anna or are you and Caius scheming again?"

"I do not scheme," Aro insisted, "But technically both without the scheming."

"What do you think of going to Greece, tesoro?" Marcus asked, planting a kiss on the top of my head. "You always come first, la mia bella Anna."

"I think we all need some time away from this place. The last time we had a real vacation was when we locked ourselves up in the castle for six months to raise Helios," Marcus nodded, holding me securely in his arms. "I hate not being able to spend more time with Anora and Helios outside of the trials they interrupt on a regular basis. When will they barge in to ask us another question or beg for more cookies? I miss that. It was easier."

"Easier than spending time with us?" Marcus asked cheekily. I rolled my eyes and turned over, facing him. "You're awfully close to me, amore. I wouldn't want it to be hard for you, il mio tesoro."

Growling, I connected our lips. Marcus let out a growl and kissed me back, tugging at my hair. I heard my other two mates groan at the PDA before I moved away, smiling at my happy mate. God he looks gorgeous at this angle.

"Mamma-" I blinked a few times as I heard my son's voice. I turned my head to see a flustered son looking at me as I straddled his father on Marcus' throne. "I didn't mean to interrupt anything..."

Jane and Alec snickered from the doorway. The guards were pretty used to mated pairs bouncing on each other even in the presence of their covenmates, so Marcus and I... making out on the throne wasn't too uncommon. We didn't get too bad, but I bet the guards were a bit annoyed when Aro or Caius decided that they wanted to show me affection right after trials were done for the day.

"You didn't interrupt much, Heelie," Marcus gulped, a bit flustered over the situation as well. It was one thing for your guards to see you, it was another for your physically 13 year old son to watch as you make out with his mother. "Just an idea for going on a trip soon. You should help Nora pack. Maybe get her a gift while we're there."

My son blushed at the mention of his mate but nodded and sped off to somewhere else. Anora and he were so close. I was pretty sure they were already starting to crush on each other like teenagers would. It was odd that Anora aged quicker in the beginning in order to catch up with her mate, but it all works out in the end. They can be the same physically, even when Heelie is six months older chronologically.

"Well, that's that," Marcus tutted, pulling me into his chest. "When do you want us to leave, il mio amore? Honestly we could set everything up for us to leave in three days if you wanted. Jane and Alec can lead the trials."

"Lovely," I muttered, mentally exhausted and wanting more snuggle time with my mates since Heelie had more homework to do. "It's feeding day tomorrow. I'm getting hungry. Can I have a blood bag?"

"You can always have a blood bag, mio caro compagno," Marcus said, running his hands through my hair, which was almost down to my butt at this point. "Aro, can you get her one?"

My mate nodded before dashing off to the vampire side of the kitchens. With the humans still being a bit scared of us, my coven made sure to only make trips into the human areas of the castle when absolutely necessary. Now that I was a vampire all of our human staff were a bit afraid of me, even when I tried to tell them that I wouldn't take a bite out of them.

Things were getting a bit better in my life.

____________________________________________

ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱ:

Mia regina, perché non ce l'hai detto prima? Dobbiamo sapere cosa sta succedendo nella tua vita, il che significa anche il tuo dono. My queen, why didn't you tell us sooner? We need to know what is happening in your life, which means your gift as well.

Mi dispiace, Aro, non volevo tenerlo nascosto. Tutta questa cosa è stata stressante e so che saresti preoccupato per questo. Prometto che non succederà più. I'm sorry, Aro, I didn't want to keep it from you. This whole thing has been stressful and I know that you would be worried about it. I promise it won't happen again.