SEVEN | WHERE'S THE KILLER
SHARK IN BABY SHARK, DIEGO?

"Just... just let me do..." Diego tried leading the group as they entered the laundromat before he looked up at the empty place, causing him to shut up. "Well, looks like Sy flew the coop," Allison said, stumbling into the abandoned location.

Five and Tate looked around the place before something caught their eyes. "Or somebody got to him," Five suggested as Tate pulled the map off the drying rack. "He did say he was in danger," Diego reminded everyone, staring at the items left to them.

"Look at this, New Grumpson Maine," Tate pointed at the circled location in red. "The hell's in New Grumpson?" Diego asked as he glanced at the map. "Maybe, Sy's daughter, Jennifer," Lila guessed, looking over Diego's shoulder.

"Or maybe that's where our dry cleaner scampered off to," Allison said, leaning on the counter. "Or maybe this is all one big setup," Viktor guessed while Ben was sitting on the ground. "Well, there is only one way to find out," Five concluded with an underlying plan.

"Hell no!"

"Hell yes!" Diego said as he tossed up his keys.

Diego and Tate overlapped each other, causing Tate to glare at Five. "You were escaping from this, you wanted to retire. You're now working again, let this one thing go, please," Tate pleaded, tugging on Five's arm. "Road trip," Diego smirked, causing Tate to sigh disappointingly.

Everyone started walking out of the place, nauseous. "Really? Are we really doing this?" Viktor asked, his arm interlocked with Lila's. "Hell yeah, we're doing this," Diego turned around to Viktor, nodding proudly.

"You do realize we have three small children, yeah?" Lila asked her husband, wondering about the circumstances. "Lila," Diego turned back to his wife, walking towards her. "Look, hey. Today's Wednesday, okay?" Diego reminded as Tate and Five walked passed them.

"The twins have garden club, and Grace has gymnastics, okay?" Diego recalled their kids' after-school events. "Uncle Lenny can pick them up, okay?" Diego suggested while Lila kept her eyes closed, not wanting to accidentally shoot her lasers before they started walking.

"Yes, But wait, that's not the point," Lila pulled Diego back before returning her attention to her husband. "That is the point," Diego stated, staring at his wife. "Look, I spend all day, every day with your family, all right?" Diego said.

"And I never ever complain, all right?" Diego said, looking at Lila for reassurance. "You complain all the time," Lila corrected, closing her eyes. "Okay, okay, well this is... my family," Diego argued before pointing at the disheveled group.

"I only have one spare pair of underwear," Klaus complained before Tate turned around to the couple away from them. "You'll be fine," Five reassured as Allison pushed Ben onto the car door. "It might not be enough," Klaus panicked, looking inside her bag.

"Lila survived two apocalypse with us and she never complained either, so get your asses here," Tate ordered before Five brushed her hair out of her face. "All right? And I want you to come with me," Diego insisted, his hand brushing Lila's cheek.

"Uncle Lenny, huh?" Lila sighed, looking up at her husband. "Just you and me. Like the old days, no kids," Diego stated before he held back the puke lingering in the back of his throat, causing Tate to sigh. "Asylum, chasing apocalypses, good times, huh?" Tate asked the couple.

"No kids," Diego forced out before Lila allowed him, causing Diego to immediately race to the minivan. "Listen, people!" Diego yelled, causing Tate to let go of Five's arm. "First mission, back, baby!" Diego declared, holding onto his keys.

"We're back," Diego said excitedly. "Car," Five pointed to the locked car, keeping his hand around Tate's waist. "Out of the way," Diego muttered before unlocking the car. "Get in!" Diego called out, pulling the minivan door out.

"I'm in the front!" Lila called out before pushing Five away. "Everyone in!" Diego yelled as Tate hopped inside the vehicle. "Does it fucking matter who is sitting next to me?" Tate asked before Lila looked at Five.

"How much do you want to sit next to your wife?" Lila asked before Five pushed Lila away from the passenger seat. "Very much," Five pushed himself into the passenger seat before Lila joined the others.

"Get in the car and turn on the heat!" Allison demanded, kicking the driver's seat. "Okay," Diego sighed before closing the car door. "All right," Tate sighed, wiping her mouth. "We're doing it," Lila joined in with her glasses.

"First mission back!" Diego cheered, punching the car roof. "Why are you so loud?" Five asked his energetic brother. Lila cheered happily as Diego started the car, "Yeah!"

"Hell yes! Let's go kill this bitch!" Ben screamed happily, causing everyone to stare at him weirdly. "This is a rescue mission," Allison corrected her brother. "Right, yeah, sorry," Ben muttered as Klaus started breathing into a paper bag.

"God! Will you please turn that song off?" Viktor asked, jerking his head back. "I can't, it's stuck," Diego responded, causing Tate to roll her eyes. "Where the fuck is Killer Shark in all of this?" Tate asked while Klaus was enjoying the song, bopping his head left and right.

It has been three hours since the start of the road trip. "Diego, will you change that song?" Luther asked, everyone feeling worse than they did when they got inside the car. "I can't!" Diego yelled, causing Tate to punch his hand.

"Shut up!" Tate yelled before looking at her struggling husband. "Oh my god, that smells rancid," Lila commented, watching Klaus open his bottle of Kombucha. "What? You don't like my kale-kiwi-carrot-cabbage kombucha?" Klaus asked after taking a sip as everyone reacted with a disgusted look.

"It's good for the soul and great for the bowel," Klaus said as Tate and Five covered their mouths with Five's jacket. "Diego?" Five called out to his brother as he felt something stirring inside him. "Uh, maybe pull over," Five advised as Tate watched Five's face turn pale.

"I second that," Tate said, tapping on Diego's arm. "Can't. We're making good time," Diego shook his head, denying the request. "Okay, well they're gonna hurl in your damn car," Tate rubbed her chest, trying to soothe her nausea self.

"Can you pull over? I need to pee," Lila requested, causing Tate to turn around at everyone's struggling demeanor. "You don't want a sippy of this potent elixir? So good for you?" Klaus offered the green drink to Five.

"I don't he will need it--" Tate said before Five swatted away Klaus's drink. "All right, heads up, here," Diego pulled out a bottle, causing Lila to frown in disgust. "Oh no," Viktor muttered before Lila spoke up. "Not the pee bottle,"

"How do you not have kidney stones yet?" Tate asked as Diego tried to convince his wife to pee in a bottle. "You know what it is, right? Use it," Diego said before throwing the bottle behind onto the backseat, causing everyone to groan in disgust.

TRIGGER WARNING: PUKING AND WRITING OF VOMITING (Emetophobia)

Tate felt the uneasy feeling of vomit started to take over Tate's stomach as she let go of Five's face and began to clutch her stomach in fear. "Diego, stop the fucking car," Tate yelled, trying to grab hold of the steering wheel. "We are sticking to the itinerary," Diego reminded as he removed Tate's hand.

"I think we can collectively agree we're going to mess the car and then you up," Tate forced out as Five massaged her back. "Five, open the window," Luther pleaded, his state worse than before. "Open the window," Ben repeated as Five reached out for the crank.

Everyone started getting motion sick, causing Tate to look through her bag, trying to find some medicine for everyone in the bag. "Open it!" Luther yelled as Five struggled to find the crank. Diego watched in horror as Five picked up the broken crank.

"What the-- Did you just break the window, man?" Diego screamed as he tried to lunge for the broken-off metal, causing the car to swerve. Everyone started screaming as Tate clutched onto her bag harder, reaching out for Five's hand.

"Hey! You spilled my kombucha!" Klaus yelled as he looked down at the sticky mess on the floor. "Diego Hargreeves, you better fucking listen to me, pull over," Tate ordered as Tate pushed her bag to Five before trying to stop the car.

Lila started puking, causing Tate to hold onto the steering wheel harder. "Diego!" Tate yelled but Diego ignored her again. "Hey!" Klaus screamed, lifting himself on the seat. Five started puking too as Tate immediately pulled her bag away from him.

"Everyone hold it in!" Diego shouted, causing Tate to glare at him. "You're a piece of--" Before Tate could finish her sentence, Tate turned her head and started puking as Five held her head up. "Pull over! Pull over!" Klaus screamed in horror, watching everyone.

"We're making good time!" Diego retorted before Tate got up and wiped her mouth. "I will cut your dick off if you don't pull over right now!" Tate used her telekinesis, attempting to stop the car before she started puking again.

Viktor covered his ears throughout the whole journey before he released his powers, shattering the window. "Son of a bitch!" Diego yelled before stopping the car. "All right, enough! Okay?" Diego yelled before turning to the backseat.

"No more fighting!" Diego ordered as everyone struggled to look up at him. "And no... more puking, all right?" Diego added as Tate glared at him. "You can't control our puking, asshole," Tate said as she patted Five's head. "And no... no more powers," Diego requested as Lila stared at him.

"Not until we get to Maine, we'll get there, and we'll find this girl," Diego continued before Tate spoke up. "And then we'll go back to our regular lives," Tate added as she tried wiping the puke off her outfit.

"Are we clear?" Diego asked while Klaus breathed into his paper bag. Everyone nodded, agreeing to the new rules. "Are we clear?" Diego repeated sternly as everyone nodded again. Diego's stomach started gurgling, causing him to spit some vomit out.

Everyone winced in disgust as Five pulled Tate back from her seat. "Wipe?" Diego asked his wife before Lila responded, "We've run out of baby wipes," Klaus showed a baby wipe to him, "Here you go. I gotcha, buddy,"

Diego took it before stepping out of the car and slamming the car door. "Where's he going?" Klaus asked as Tate watched Diego walk off to puke. "What are we supposed to do? Turn around?" Allison questioned, watching the state of everyone.

"No, we've come this far," Luther disagreed, causing Tate to sigh. "It's only another 13 hours to New Grumpson," Luther said, causing everyone to groan in annoyance. "This rescue mission might actually turn into a suicidal attempt," Tate muttered as she wiped Five's forehead.

UNNECESSARY VOMITING
SEGMENT OVER!

💌
i just wanna say something...

WHY THE FUCK DO THEY PUKE FROM MARIGOLD NOW BUT NOTHING WHEN THEY WERE GROWING UP?!

LIKE ALSO UNNECESSARY TO HAVE THIS LOW BUDGET BAD PUKING LOOK AT SEASON 2 WITH BEN AND KLAUS

(Respectfully gonna trash this season
unless i finish it and heal you guys)