THIRTEEN, SHERLOCK HOLMES
DELICATE
THIRTEEN, SHERLOCK HOLMES
hollie.
I HUNT HIM DOWN. stalking through the crowds doing the thing I was actively trying to avoid all night, my father.
I step into the chill of the night. The majority of the paparazzi have cleared off, at least until people leave which many few have done yet. He stands in the entryway, with the girl in the green dress. A girl he stands close to, who doesn't look four years older than me.
The velocity of my heels on the floor turns their heads, the girl must know who I am as she backs away slightly — I ignore her, as I look at the grey haired man.
" I need to talk to you." I state, my tone affirmative as he looks at me in this state which he hasn't done often.
" Hollie, I'm a little bit busy-" he starts but I shake my head " I'm sure your friend can wait for you outside, it's not that cold." I say not even looking at the woman who just pulls from my father further.
There's distain for me in his eyes as he nods at the green dress girl as she exits through the doors. Once they close he looks back at me letting out a small, dissatisfied sigh.
" what is it-" he starts, but I'm too angry to even speak fully formed sentences.
I step forward, trying to look big, powerful over a man I've only felt small in front of — " what fucking nerve do you have!" My question is the rhetorical kind but of course it doesn't stop him from answering.
he looks amused " what?" he asks, like the victim again. Only fuelling the fire in me even more.
" it was her night!" I point my finger into my dads chest as I notice his nonchalant expression. Like he's tired, " hers! You couldn't let her have one moment of glory!" I shout. I don't care about the people passing by I'm angry, I'm a volcano of rage for the man before me.
Rupert grabs my wrist, my hand goes limp and my eyes widen and tearful in an instant and I feel so much smaller again
" you better watch your tone, I am still your father."
The words come out of his mouth and I scoff, amused by the title he's bestowed upon himself.
"since when have you ever been a fucking dad to me?" I shout, not even caring for the turning of heads in the almost deserted room
" you don't give a shit about me unless it impacts how you're perceived! I don't remember you ever staying up with me when I had nightmares, or taking me to the doctors when I was ill, or do literally doing anything to amount you to
anything more than a sperm donor!" My voice breaks, my heart aches as I confront the man.
He looks angry, " I raised you, you little shit!"
Another scoff leaves my lips " raised me, you really think you raised me?" I laugh
" no-no! the maids raised me, Rebecca -" I point my extended arm towards the main part of the gala "-she raised me, you just pushed me aside when I wasn't helping your reputation with the press!"
" you forgot about me the second the cameras turned off and the doors to the house closed." I told him.
" and yet still, you come to these events and you speak to the press and you feel entitled to act like the fucking victim in all of this!" I watch as he twitches with anger " like you're the one who didn't parade around with women a quarter of your age making mum look like a fool." I tell him,
" you slept with other women whilst she put your child to bed, whilst she took care of me, whilst she slept beside me, whilst she held me when I cried wondering my own father didn't want to spend time with me-"
my voice breaks and I bite my lip to stop my tears from running down my cheeks. He looks at me for a moment before shaking his head,
" oh holls, you've always been one for the dramatics haven't you?" he breathes with no sense of empathy, an emotion I don't think he's ever felt in his life " don't blame your mummy leaving you on me, at least I was here, at least I didn't leave you."
My mother, not the one who stands a few hundred metres away. But the one who carried me, gave birth to me and then left me. Camila Alarez — I've seen photos of her, although she's not even a hazy memory, she's merely a person I've been told about. A myth.
Rupert steps forward, our height difference means I have to tilt my head to look up at him as he clicks his tongue, tilting his head " although, seeing how you turned out-" he looks me up and down; my eyes seconds away from leaking, my quivering lip, my nose becoming more red and congested by the second.
" probably wasn't the worst idea dear Cami had." he whispers, so only we could hear. So it reverberates about in my mind, now and forever.
I stare at him, a man I don't know — a stranger to me " I wouldn't have been too mad about that arrangement myself ." I whisper.
Not letting on how far that dagger formed by his words has plunged into my chest.
" have a good night darling." he goes to push back my fallen hair as I swat his hand away and stare at him.
" fuck you dad." I say through gritted teeth, being the first to leave — I always am, giving him the satisfaction of winning.
I wait until I exit down another deserted hallway. My heads pushed in my hands as I begin to sob. Exiting down another fire exit into an alleyway. hiding my face from the cameras that could be potentially lurking with my hands shaking and my eyes squeezed closed.
My back is pressed against the wall of the back alley, my sobs coming out shaky and my tears steadily streaming down my face. The grime of the wall spreading against my dress, something i loved but not can't wait to get off. I hate that he's ruined it for me, that's he ruined everything for me.
I should have known better, despite not knowing me he know what strings to pull to hurt me. What pieces of me to prod at to get his desired reaction, which tonight means crying in alleyway. I watched it happen with mum — bringing up her own secrets spoken in confidence once, but now twisted to be used against her.
He knows how to hurt me. Hence why as my breathing is shaky and my mascara runs down my cheeks. I reprimand myself for thinking I was better, that I was stronger. Because it's just made his victory all the more sweeter.
And just when I don't think anything can get worse. It does.
" hollie?" the Mancunian accent speaks my name ( although it sounds like holl-eh) and I turn my head and notice him.
Hands in his pocket as he shuffles down the alleyway. I wipe my face with haste " god Jamie! what do you want?" I question whilst continuing to sob despite my best attempts to stop.
He looks at me, and tries to play it off like he hasn't been watching me cry for the last however long " I just saw you run down the hallway, and wanted to see if you were ok." the sincerity in his tone is foreign.
I nod " I'm fine Jamie-"
He steps closer, " do you want to talk about-"
" no I don't want to fucking talk about it." I seethe, my hearts aching in my chest — the vulnerability I feel right now makes me feel faint, makes me feel ill.
I look at him, and he must be able to see me clearly. As his expression falls at what I must look like ( I don't dare to look yet).
He steps closer but I shake my head " Jamie, please can you just leave me alone." I plead, I sniff as my tone softens as I ask him to be alone.
Instead, Jamie Tartt hugs me. Arms around my waist as I'm pulled into his chest and chin on his shoulder.
I don't push him off — instead I wrap my arms around him, holding onto him as I sob gently into his shoulder.
I don't know if he understands, but the way he holds me as my wet mascara runs off my lashes and onto his blazer jacket makes it feel like he might or at least he's pretending to for my sake. Both I can deal with.
My arms move around his shoulders and grip at the material of the jacket, erasing any space that may have existed between us. I nuzzle my head in the crook of his neck slightly — I needed this.
" I heard some of it." he says quietly and I sniff.
" how much?" I dare to ask
" enough to know that he's a massive bellend." he says, and I pull away. We're close — his fingers lift up and the pad of his thumb wipes under my eye. I let him, feeling some sort of safety with him.
" you're ok." he reassures me, and I nod. Deciding to believe him as I exhale.
Moving my hands to wipe under my eyes " god, I'm so sorry." I exhale and look at him as he shakes his head.
" you don't need to apologise." he tells me, as I give him a small smile. Even if he goes back to being an arsehole tomorrow I'll be glad to knowing this side of Jamie exists.
" I think I'm just gonna go home, but you go back in have a good time." I say and he makes a 'meh' face.
" nah, thinking about hitting the road as well — it's gotten a bit shit anyways." he looks at me and softens his expression
" oh no I don't mean the gala, your mum did a great job with that it's just-"
A chuckle leaves my mouths " I get what you mean, don't worry I won't go telling on you." I joke and he smiles.
he mimics wiping his head with the back of his hand " phew."
There's a moment, where we don't say anything and it feels ok. I don't hate him and I don't think he hates me.
" I'll walk you." he offers, and I shrug my shoulders.
" you don't have to-" I begin as he shakes his head again.
" I want to." I feel a slight fluttering in my stomach as I just nod and wipe my nose.
" sure."
THE WALK IS QUIET. Maybe it's because the entire time I've known Jamie all we have to say is petty comments and right now I can't think of anything negative to say about him or to him. He's been kind tonight, to me at least.
Found me crying in an alleyway, he hugged me, and then has proceeded to insist on walking me home. We occasionally make small talk, about football, about the dinner served at the gala. Nothing personal and I'm absolutely fine with it.
My arms are folded as the chill of the night hits me. I try not to look as cold as I am and wish I brought a shawl with me.
" you chilly?" he asks, the first time we've spoken in the last few minutes — I turn and notices his eyes on me.
" yeah, but we're almost home so it's fine." I say and he shakes his head and begins to unbutton his jacket.
My eyes widen at the unveiling of his muscular upper body that I can't seem to tear my eyes away from " no Jamie, seriously my house isn't even that far-"
He tuts " I insist, my mum told me that if you don't offer a girl your jacket you might as well just be a lonely single bastard for the rest of your life." I chuckle at the analogy as he peels off the jacket and offers it to me.
The fluttering feeling comes back as I go to take it from him, but instead he places it on me. It's massive on me, and I feel slight shivers as he scoops my hair from under the collar — his fingertips brushing against the back of my neck.
My face turns, too close to his own as I feel my breath hitch how close we actually are to one another. There's a second where we linger, before I blink and break myself away and instead offer a consolation smile, muttering a 'thank you' before continuing to walk.
Jamie soon to catch up, and I have to force myself to stop looking at his exposed upper body.
It's no longer than a five minute walk before I stop outside the gate just by my house.
" this is my place." I say, looking to Jamie as he nods and continues to follow me — the walk was silent, me stealing Jamie's jacket as he walks beside me half naked yet we don't say a word.
I slide off the jacket and present it to him as i sniffle with a small smile " you might want this back." I suggest as his lips turn up yet he still looks sad for me, " I'm sure walking around half naked is considered indecent exposure."
" yeah, I would have just given you my jacket but I'd be half naked." he tells me as I stifle a laugh "and I'm pretty sure that's illegal so-"
He takes it back but doesn't put it on but let's it fold over his arm. I lift my hand and wipe under my nose — " thank you for walking me home." I say and he nods.
" don't mention it." he tells me.
I look at him, and he doesn't look the same — less dickheady, he's got a smile on his face that I don't want to slap off. And a face that looks quite beautiful right now.
" he's an arse." he tells me, " and you're- what you did tonight-" he says a string of false starts, as I feel a almost silent chuckle leave my lips.
" look at us, can't even compliment one another." I tell him and he starts to laugh, it simmers out as he inhales " took a lot of guts, I'm sure of it."
I look at him a little longer, not knowing when I'll see this side of him again so I'll relish in it now.
" just a question, why did you bet on roy?" he asks, like it's a off the top of his head and not like he's been stewing on it which I can easily tell he has.
" Keeley saved you from that old lady, I just did the same." Jamie nods but still doesn't seem to understand.
"Yeah but, Keeley was my-" he starts before stopping " she is my girlfriend, so you dating Kent?" he's a bit too grimaced by the thought of it for my liking but as much as I want to tease, I don't.
" nope, just a friend I suppose." I say, " helping each other out, that's what friends do isn't it."
He just nods, and wets his lip. Stepping forward, closer - and once again I don't step away. I let him close space, from inches to millimetres.
I don't know what he plans to do, but nor do I found out.
" hollie?" the voice of Gus Darwin erupts through the silence, I look from Jamie to the figure who stands behind him.
I step away from Jamie " Gus, hey." I say as the brunette who's shirtless turns around and faces the fully dressed man.
He looks between me and Jamie " oh, he was just walking me home, said it's on the way." I say as Gus furrows his brows looking at Jamie.
" don't you live on the opposite side of town mate?" Gus asks Jamie as I look at him as he just nods, looking caught out.
There's that fluttering feeling again. That soon diminishes as Jamie begins to walk away
" cheers for that Sherlock holmes." he grumbles as he walks past Gus who continues to watch me.
Jamie turns, looking at me — a small smile on his face again " night welton." turning for a final look of me on the pavement a small smile as he lifts his fingers and does a playful salute — how rom com of us.
" goodnight tartt." I say, copying the action. His smile widens slightly before he turns and continues walking.
Gus walks towards me, in a pair of trousers and a hoodie " don't tell me you wore that to the gala." I say as his face downfalls slightly.
" I've been trying to get ahold of you all night, had to work late so couldn't make it." he jokes although he doesn't seem humoured by it " did you not notice I wasn't there?"
I shrug " it's been a hectic night, faces just kind of blur." I tell him, maybe a little bit too honest considering what he was most likely looking for.
He moves forward, looping an arm around my waist as I feel slightly odd — " you do look fucking amazing though."
lifting my lips to a smile " thank you." I hum.
He leans in and kisses me, but the person lingers in the back of my mind. The person I shouldn't think about as I kiss my boyfriend. The image of Jamie Tartt walking down my street only a few moments ago.
Jamie.
I don't want to say goodbye to her. I want to stay here just a little bit longer, maybe wipe that stray tear that slips from her glistening green eyes, kiss those lips that are pushed into a small smile for me — it wouldn't make sense, to her but to me either.
But it would feel nice. And I want to, and by the way her eyes are darting down to look at my lips which I don't think she even realises — I think she wants to too.
She'd feel bad, think that I had a girlfriend —when in actuality, Keeley dumped me minutes before I found Hollie crying outside.
" you like her." she tells me, I feel my face pull into a exaggerated expression of confusion.
" who?" I ask, still pretending to be clueless. I know exactly who's name is going to tumble from Keeley's lips. Two syllables, a word so short but holds so much power over me recently.
" Hollie, do you think I don't see the way you look at her Jamie?" Keeley asks the question and it's technically not my fault, half the time I don't mean to look at her like that, it's just-
her smile, her dimples, the aura she has around her. The way she tilts her head up as she laughs that she doesn't even do consciously anymore.
" you like her." she states again as I scoff, putting on the mask again.
I do, and had done for a while. But blew it the first chance I had to do something about it — the infamous meeting, I was with people that I had to put the mask on around. I was a dickhead, to everyone including the brunette who poured a pint over my head once 'other Jamie' tried to impress his mates by being a massive bellend and hit on her.
" I do not, we bloody hate each other." I tell Keeley as she takes another sip of her drink.
" sure Jamie, but either way this is over." She announces, standing up before hovering closer to me.
" but fyi...you look at the girl you supposedly hate with more feeling than you have ever done with me." she whispers, I turn my head to defend myself " I'm not mad about it, just don't ignore it because you think you know how she feels- women are unpredictable."
she looks at me " be the real Jamie, Hollie would dig that." she winks before walking away.
But I don't kiss her, I can't. Hollie doesn't like me — even if Keeley was right when she told me that I liked Hollie mere moments before breaking up with me ( which she was absolutely right about), it doesn't matter. This is a once in a lifetime exception— the next time I see, be it tomorrow, next week, next month. She'll have that same frown on her lips when she looks at me, she'll still be with that Gus ( bellend ) who she actually likes.
" Hollie?" our eyes move from me, to the poshy who she's seeing, the better person. Her expression changes and she steps back.
I turn my head, noticing him. I offer a sarcastic smile to which he just stares down (dickhead).
" Gus hey, Jamie was just walking me home." She announces from behind me " he said it's on his way."
Gus gives me a look " don't you live on the other side of town mate?" he asks and I frown as I look at him.
Embarrassing me much. So I just nod and begin to walk away — " cheers for that Sherlock Holmes." I mutter as I pass by him.
I turn, wanting to get one final look at her. Fuck she's so beautiful, stood under that streetlight that makes the gold of her dress twinkle. Her hair still wavy, as she smiles at me and I can't help but smile back.
" night welton." lifting my fingers, doing a playful salute — not helping my smile expanding when she does it back to me
" goodnight tartt." she says, I turn and begin to walk away.
I hear muttering, and turn to see the worst thing possible — they're kissing, and then he's pulling him inside the house. He's the prince that gets inside her palace walls and I'm the sorry sod who's stuck pleading for her attention by the gates.
I don't go home, Instead I find a bar, and I drink more until I find a girl that in my drunken haze looks like the brunette I have left in the arms of the better man, I whisper things I wish I could pull myself to whisper into Hollie's ear, I hold her in ways I am hoping one day I'll be able to hold Hollie. And then we leave, go back to my house.
And when we start doing the things, all I can think about is the girl who will most likely
hate me tomorrow who is probably doing the same things as me but in his arms. Whilst the scent of her perfume lingers in the fabric of my jacket that I don't take off during it all.
AUTHORS NOTE.
ahh, actually obsessed with them !!
hollie & Jamie 🤝 being absolutely bloody clueless
ps. Rupert you suck !
vote & comment if you enjoyed!!
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