DELICATE
EIGHT , SPEARMINT

I HAVE FIFTY POUNDS IN THE POCKET OF MY JACKET as I focus on my breathing as I walk towards the changing rooms — ' teams gotta bond', Lasso's words from earlier that day ring through my head, especially when I bumped into him indeed having salads with Higgins at lunch time and he told me about his plan for setting up a surprise for Sam Obisanya's birthday.

I've done some research, due to my lack of knowledge about football which coincided with my lack of interest in AFC Richmond before my mum won it in the divorce — and I can't find a single negative thing about him as a person: every smile is bright, every interaction with his fans is as genuine as the next. I like him, despite never having formally met him. And I'd happily give him a couple hundred quid for a birthday present.

I reach the closed door of the coach's office — not having mustered up confidence yet to enter a changing room with potential a multitude of naked men on entry. I slide open the door and and am met my the gaze of Coach Beard ( I don't know his actual name, I don't think anyone does in all honesty) — he looks likes he's happy to see me, I think?

" hi coach." I say, reaching for my pocket " I heard about gathering some money together for Obisanya's birthday." I say.

He looks at me, silently clicking his fingers to the main changing room where I can see Ted standing — I nod " nobody's indecent are they?"

A simply shrug is all I'm given, I accept that this interaction has ended as I turn to walk into the locker. Eyes fall to me, I'd like to think I like this kind of attention but a group of men ogling at me with the exception of only a few is a rare thing for any women to like.

Some of them notice the slight discomfort contorting my face, nudge those who haven't seemed to notice and soon their faces turn to soft yet still surprised smiles.

I turn my head, meeting him for the first time since our absurd encounter last night. And I see he's reverted back to his old ways — I watch as he strings gum fresh from his mouth before tucking it into the pocket of the box which I assume is for Sam's birthday fund (which I must say is very nicely decorated).

" spearmint..make the money smell nice." he says with a smile. I feel the mixture of annoyance and disappointment simmer into me as I look at the person who's nothing like the glimpse of the person I saw last night even if only for a second.

I watch as Nate stares blankly at the man as he just awkwardly murmurs something and soon shuffled onto the next person.

" dickhead." I murmur, only pulling my eyes away from him when I notice another set pulling them towards him. I turn my head, noticing the soft smile of Roy Kent that I can only tell is a smile at the minuscule turn of his lips upwards — the rest of his face is still and blank ( someone once told me that it was because he stood in the wind looking angry for too long and it got stuck like that).

I give Roy a small nod of my head, acknowledging him — he gives me one back and I can't help but feel slight pride in myself.

" and I see this team like a band-" is what I catch onto Jamie saying, eavesdropping on the conversation like I assume most people are.

" and if we were the Rolling Stones, I'd be Mick Jagger ." I hold back my laugh, at what size ego this man must have to even compare himself to Mick Jagger " cause I'm the front man, and I've got the moves."

Ted says something, but I can't quite make it out maybe because I'm not reading his lips as intently as I am Jamie's " and Roy would be Keith Richards, cause he's old and everyone's surprised he ain't dead yet."

Roy stands up, I have to try and advert my eyes from his upper body — I kind of get the whole crush on Roy Kent thing now ( anger issues plus muscles is always a good crush combo)

" what the fuck are you saying?" He asks Jamie who gives him and up and down look too engrossed in his catty comments to even notice I'm stood only a metre away.

" Roy mate, If you're gonna go to the shower you should take your sweater off first pal."

I watch him as he belittles his teammates, how the atmosphere in the room shifts — it becomes smaller, and the air thicker to inhale and exhale with the ease it had beforehand. He doesn't see me but I most definitely see him — I don't know if it's to project ego, something some men do that I do not and never believe that it'll understand.

But he's an arsehole, a complete and utter arsehole. I give Roy a small smile as he walks past and his face doesn't move ( so I think that's a good thing).

" oh..uh-" I look to my left, noticing Nate stood with his box in his hands which look like they're shaking slightly " can I help you miss Welton?" he asks.

I don't understand his seeming intimidation by me. I may be the least intimidating person known to man — so I smile, nodding as I take out the few fifty pound notes.

" for Sam's birthday." I say, the whispers ensue as I place the notes inside. A lingering scent of spearmint which makes me slightly nauseous.

Nate looks at me, " oh, I didn't know you knew him." He asks, only ensuing more conversation around the changing room.

Shaking my head, " I don't but I thought I could play my part, we're all a team in the scheme of things." I say as Nate only nods before awkwardly shuffling away to the opposite row of men.

I notice Ted walking towards me, although my eyes still linger on the phallic gesture that their star player makes to his coach as he does so.

And that's when Jamie finally notices me, and can see from the look on my face I've been here for the entire exchange — his expression shifts as if he's been caught out. Like Jekyll having been caught being Hyde, James Gatz being caught acting like Jay Gatsby.

I saw a glimpse of a version of Jamie last night, and now I see it as a facade to make me try to like him. For what purpose? I have no idea.

After overcoming his dissatisfaction with Jamie, Ted looks at me with his extendable optimism as I flicker from Jamie who soon turns away from me.

" Hollie, I didn't know you were coming down here." He says, I like the way he looks happy to see me — although it's probably a jerk reaction for most people ( I like the smile he wears when he notices me).

" I heard you and Higgin's talking about Sam's little birthday surprise and thought I'd dip in." I say, his smile grows as he nods at me.

" well thats awful generous of you hollie, welcome to the team." he says, i don't have time to notice as he swings an arm over my shoulder and hollers to the other guys.

" hey y'all, I'd like to formally introduce you to Hollie Welton." Ted announces and I meet the eyes of everyone who obviously don't need an introduction to me.

" yeah coach we know." Issac McAdoo says, " ninety percent of us follow her on instagram."

In which a large percentage of the men nod in agreement with his statement.

My hand raises to my chest with a pouty smile " aw guys, I'm flattered."

One of them stands up, the French one ( Montlaur I believe..) " your front cover with vogue italia was-" he does an imitation of a chefs kiss as I try to contain my laughter.

My lips begin to curve when I hear a singular " ugh, I don't follow her !" calls Jamie Tartt as he keeps his back turned from me.

My eyes go to slits " you can't follow someone who's blocked you Tartt." I call out, and there's a small flow of laughter from the guys which makes me smile, and infuriates Jamie ( which makes me smile more).

He turns to look at me, his eyes slits like me as he stares at me — I stare back, can't tear my eyes away from him and his horrible hat which covers his even more horrible haircut.

" ok, while whilst they're doing...whatever that is." Ted comments, referring to me and Jamie's staring contest I feel his arm fall off of the back of my shoulder.

" they don't like each other." Colin comments, which I can tell by the thickness of his welsh accent — Ted examines the look a little further before I eventually pull away my gaze.

" it was nice to formally meet you guys, but I don't have time to schedule in staring competitions with massive knobheads." I tell them, only flickering my gaze to Jamie to which I give him a sarcastic shrug

" sorry Tartt."

There's a smile on his face, it's only small but I take note of it as I bid the boys goodbye and exit the room through the appropriate door this time.

But every time I blink, I see him and his stupid but nice smile.

So as like any normal person would do. I try to withhold my blinks to what is absolutely necessary — yet somehow I fail.

AUTHORS NOTE.

the boys following Hollie's socials makes me smile — she doesn't know it yet but she's just made a lot of new best friends..

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