The answer to my question came sooner than I had hoped it would. It was true that as the days dragged on and I saw no indication of Juan's appearance in the city that I became remiss of my own apprehension. Heedless of the repercussions it could cause, when the opportunity arose for a temporary placement in the Vatican as an additional servant because of Juan's family - I took the job.

There were many servants milling about the Vatican along with cardinals, bishops, and all manner of other ecclesiastical persons. It would be easy to blend into the crowd. Besides, it was money I desperately needed and the chance of seeing Juan was very slight. The idea of him recognizing me or indeed even acknowledging that he once had known me as much more than just a simple servant were again very slim.

"In truth, she's not a very kind woman. I saw her kick a puppy with her shoe as they arrived," Salvaza commented, eyebrows raised in a comical manner as she balanced a stack of towels in her arms.

I swept into the room behind her, carrying a stack of my own while I tried to stifle a laugh, "I highly doubt that, Salvaza. From what I've heard of her - and that's not much, mind you - she seems like a respectable woman, if not a bit on the serious side,"

My fellow servant only shrugged to this in response, spreading out the towels on a side table as another maid walked around the room preparing for the cardinal's luncheon.

"Believe what you want but I know what I saw. In fact, just this morning, Gianetta told me-"

But apparently I was never to know just what Gianetta had told her for at that very moment, a pair of high-born men walked by, talking very loudly to each other in heated tones. It wouldn't have meant much to me - I was never the type to gossip or eavesdrop but...one single voice arose above the other, reaching my ears and making my mouth go dry.

"I couldn't exactly leave her behind, though, Cesare - you know this!" a haughty voice spoke bitterly.

His brother Cesare responded in an indifferent tone, "What do you want me to say, Juan? This marriage was arranged and we both know it. All I'm saying is that in a brief visit such as this, you needn't have brought her along. I wouldn't have had it been me,"

"Yes but you shall never be married, brother, thanks to those crimson robes of yours-" Juan responded unkindly before both voices were carried far away down the hall.

My heart pounded erratically in my chest and it felt like my world was spinning. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen - I wasn't supposed to even see him, let alone be this near. Swallowing down a lump of apprehension mingled with an overwhelming amount of fear, I muttered an excuse of "needing more towels" to Salvaza before swiftly exiting via the opposite doorway.

When I could no longer hear the cacophony of noise behind me, I broke into a run as my heart raced inside of me. This had been a bad idea from the start - I knew that now. I needn't have come, Angelo and I could have sufficed on my pay as a laundress. But for once, I had wanted something special for my boy - to have more than I'd ever been able to give him before.

All of these thoughts clouded my mind and I found myself arriving at my house in a bit of a daze. A stout, middle-aged woman with a head of graying hair and a warm smile came out of the run-down building that served as a sort of apartment for the working-class women in the area. She was drying her hands that were still red from scrubbing on her apron as she we walked over to greet me.

"Back so early? I thought you would be at least another three hours," Francesca said genially, sending me a small smile.

But before I could reply, Angelo came racing past her to me and collided right into my legs. Laughing, I leaned down slightly to hug him and press a chaste kiss to his auburn locks.

"Did you miss me, pepito?" I whispered softly and he nodded to this, still clinging tightly to my long skirts.

Smiling into his soft hair, I glanced up just as Francesca disappeared back through the doorway whence she came. I was about to follow her back inside when a startlingly familiar voice cut through the silence, effectively freezing me in my tracks.

"Still as lovely as the day I first saw you."

No...no, it couldn't be possible. But as I turned my head, indeed it was the very same man who had been haunting my dreams for these four long years hence.

Juan's deep brown eyes locked on mine and a smirk split his face as I sucked in a sharp breath. No...NO! What was he doing here? He wasn't supposed to be here! Not this close to... Desperately, my fingers latched onto Angelo's tiny wrist as I tried to keep him from Juan's sight. But as all young children tended to be, my son would not oblige and wriggled out of my grasp easily.

"I admit, I didn't expect you to still be around here. I would have thought you had moved off, married a winemaker, cook, or something of the like," Juan's smirk deepend as he continued to tease, "But I knew it was you the moment I saw you run out of the Vatican apartments. Your hair is the same ravishing shade of-"

Juan broke off abruptly then as his eyes lighted on Angelo's identical gaze peeking out from behind my skirts. He seemed taken aback by the small child clinging to my legs, as if he hadn't expected me to have kept on living my life after he left.

He arched his eyebrows in surprise, disbelief evident in his voice, "You have a child?"

Curtly, I nodded in reply before bending down to the level of my son, "Angelo, why don't you help Francesca with the cooking and mamma will be right behind you?"

Angelo pouted, clearly displeased with this chore, "But I hate cooking. Why can't I stay out here with you?"

I swallowed down the lump in my throat, avoiding Juan's avid gaze as I replied, "Because I said so, darling. Now go ahead back inside like I bid you."

He let out an angry huff, about to retort but I silenced him with a stern look and he turned to go back in. But the ramifications of what transpired next, all of my efforts could never have spared us from.

"Boy! How old are you?" Juan called out to my son.

I felt the blood freeze in my veins, an icy jolt of fear slithering up my spine just as Angelo spun on his heel. Confusion and indignation blended themselves into his childish face as he spat, "Four!"

I could see the exact moment that realization came crashing down on Juan Borgia, Duke of Gandia. I could see the wheels turning in his mind as he processed all of this - the age of my son, how long he himself had been away to Spain, the identical shade of eyes and hair he shared with Angelo... His dark gaze flicked to mine and I was caught out, unable to break his stare as Angelo finally departed back into the building.

Several moments passed before either of us could speak and to be fair, I was terrified to even utter one word in this aftermath. But Juan had never been one to be left speechless - about anything.

"Is...is he mine?" he asked, his voice quieter than I had expected it to be.

I wanted to lie in that moment, reply that "no, of course he isn't yours." But the damage was done and the devil was in the details. A lie would only cement my guilt and shame further. Slowly, I nodded in answer. Juan let out a long breath, completely caught off-guard.

The velvet cloak he wore trailed the ground as he began to pace, words spewing from his mouth rapidly, "As you know, I have a wife and child...with another on the way, in fact. I admit that I fully expected you have to have long-since left this city, perhaps even found yourself a husband by this point. But this...this I did not expect-"

He broke off then as he whirled to face me but instead of finding an accusatory gaze etched on his face, I found an emotion I couldn't quite name. A sudden thought sparked in my mind then as his words sunk in - "wife and child with another on the way". Surely...surely he wasn't suggesting...? No, it's not possible! He wouldn't-couldn't take my Angelo away from me, to somehow legitimize him as he had been by his very own Holy Father. No, that could never happen.

It would interfere with his new marriage too much. A hot spark of anger flooded my chest and I was surprised to find it hidden there. Juan took a few steps closer to me until finally, we were only mere inches apart. Another unexpected feeling - the shiver that raced up my spine at this close proximity.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here - that I didn't know about him. If I had..." he trailed off then, glancing down at his boots and I could only guess what was on his mind.

Would he have come back if he'd known? Would he have been there for me? For his son? Would it have changed things between us at all?

His eyes flicked back up to meet mine then. There were so many emotions swirling in his eyes but the one that proved dominant was one I had never before seen in the depths of those brown eyes - love.

Whether it was love for me or for his newfound child, I couldn't be sure. But one thing I knew for certain - that love would change everything. For us all.