It was a conundrum, that much I already knew. And no matter what logical conclusion I came to, it always ended up being a paradox in the end. Because it didn't matter how much I tried to reason with myself, it was wrong and I knew it. I knew better. Why didn't that stop me though? All of these thoughts swirled in my mind as I snuggled deeper into the cotton material of his t-shirt.

By his t-shirt, of course, I meant Derek. It was late at night and no one was awake. The only sound in the house was the ticking of the clock downstairs in the living room. So like usual, I'd sneaked into Derek's room so we could spend time together. It was the only time we got to spend together since no one knew about us. We couldn't talk in the hallway at school, unless it was to bicker with each other.

And of course, the family couldn't know either. So that left only the wee hours of the morning. We'd whisper to each other and just talk until we fell asleep. It was blissful. Glancing up, I moved a strand of hair out of his face and watched him sleep. He looked just like an angel, so serene and peaceful.

And I was the luckiest girl ever that I could call him mine... But that was just it, I couldn't call him mine. He was but I could never say so, never tell anyone just how much I loved him. I couldn't even tell Emily, who'd been my best friend since I moved here. Sighing, I rested my head on his muscular chest once more. His arms tightened around me and I heard him suck in a deep breath.

"Hey...are you still awake?" Derek asked me groggily.

Smiling, I looked back up at him and pressed my lips to his soft plump ones. He immediately kissed me back, moving his lips in sync with mine. As always, he tasted like cotton candy and his lips were as soft as velvet. When we finally broke away, he grinned down at me, caressing my cheek softly with his fingertips. His dark brown eyes bored into mine questioningly.

"Case, what's wrong?" he asked gently.

He always knew when something was bothering me. Yet another reason why I loved him so much. I shook my head, turning away from him.

"It's nothing. Go back to sleep," I said, avoiding his eyes.

He gently turned my face to look at him once more.

"Tell me..." he persisted, removing his hand from my face to rub my arm tenderly.

I sighed and rested my head on the headboard of his bed. He sat up on his elbows and watched me.

"I just...I hate this...I hate that we have to hide our relationship," I said, my voice no more than a whisper.

His chocolate-brown eyes softened and he rested his hand on my waist, moving his thumb in a circle on my cotton t-shirt. My throat closed up then as tears threatened to spill.

"I hate having to hide how much I love you!" I choked out.

The tears started to fall then and Derek took me into his arms once more. I sobbed into his shirt and he rubbed his hands up and down my back, soothing me. He pressed a chaste kiss on the top of my head.

"I love you, too, Spacey." he whispered into my ear as my sobs died down.

After several more minutes of him holding me, my eyes slowly started to close. But just before I fell asleep, I thought I heard him softly singing...

"This slope is treacherous, this path is reckless, this slope is treacherous, but I, I, I like it..."