'It's this stupid hat. I am telling you, it's totally blowing my best feature' - Steve

// THE SUMMER OF 1985 //
(six months later)

Today was the day. My knees were tucked tight to my chest as I stared out through the dirty bus window and watched in anticipation as the scenery slowly began to seem familiar. It was an uneasy sort of feeling to return to Hawkins after so many months away.

The five months had felt more like five years. Five months with no contact to the outside world. Five months without my mother and her abusive boyfriend. Five months without my friends. Five months without alcohol. Five months sober. Five months without Billy. 

That last one had been the hardest. Over the course of those long months in rehab I'd often looked back and wondered if things might've been different had I not pushed Billy away. After the horrific events of last year, it hadn't taken long for me to fall quite literally off the deep end. 

Since I had isolated myself from all of my friends, been too much of a coward to speak to Billy, and with Jesse MIA since the big fight with Billy, things had gotten pretty dark. On one of my especially bad days and after drowning my sorrows in hard liquor, I'd decided to go for a midnight swim at the public pool. If it weren't for a man walking by with his dog who had heard my struggling, I probably would have drowned. 

I didn't have time to tell anybody where I was going before the doctors at the hospital shipped me off to the closest rehab facility, so I could only hope my mother hadn't gone and spun up some wild story. I like to imagine that Steve or Billy had come asking after me, but I wasn't sure how to feel about the possibility of them knowing where I had been this whole time. 

Now as the bus approached my final stop, I found myself feeling more anxious and jittery than I had in a very long time. I couldn't deny that being sober had done wonders for my mental health but I couldn't help but worry about whether or not I could trust myself to stay strong now that I was out. 

Rehab had also been a nice escape from the scary adventures I'd been part of those six months ago. That was another thing I was uneasy about. How much had changed since I had last seen everyone? 

The feeling of the bus coming to a complete stop roused me from my intense inner monologue and I stood up quickly. I stretch my legs gratefully as I grab my bag from the seat beside me and exit the vehicle. 

What I see waiting for me outside nearly has me tripping over my own feet. I hadn't expected any kind of welcoming party, especially not one that consisted of my mother, Jim and a fucking baby. 

I tried to stop my jaw from dropping, I really did. But as I slowly approached the trio, I couldn't help it. My mother was glowing, literally glowing, probably due to the little monster she was cradling in her arms like it was a precious treasure. And Jim was smiling, looking much less menacing than I remembered. 

I narrowed my eyes, something wasn't right.

"Andie!" she cried, handing the child to Jim before she nearly barrelled me over with a hug. I watched Jim carefully over her shoulder, trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. For a split second his expression changed and he gave me a look as if to say, 'Hug her back, or else.'

So with some reluctance to my movements, I reached up with the free hand that wasn't carrying my bag and returned my mothers embrace. Eventually she pulled back to gaze at me with what I can only describe as an adoring smile and I did my best to return the energy but I probably ended up looking like I was in pain. 

"How are you feeling, honey? I know they didn't want you having any contact with the outside world while you were in there, but it's been driving both Jim and I insane not knowing how you were doing."

I stare at her dumbstruck for a few long moments while I wait for the sike, but it never comes. She seemed genuine, and that scared me more than when she used to do her best to ignore my very existence. 

I note Jim's expectant look behind my mothers back as they both await my response and eventually I manage to offer her my best smile, "I'm just peachy, mum. The rehab really did numbers on me, I feel like a whole new person."

Jim rolls his eyes at the underlying sarcasm but my mother doesn't seem to notice, she seems satisfied with my answer, "That's great honey. You don't know how happy that makes us, right Jim?" She turns back to glance at him and he adjusts his expression just in time to smile and nod.

Shithead. 

It's clear that he hasn't changed too much. As far as I was concerned, these two truly deserved each other. 

At last, everyone's attention shifts to the elephant in the room. Or rather, the tiny baby that was currently fast asleep in the arms of my mothers monster of a boyfriend. I stared at it with suspicion, waiting for some kind of explanation.

My mother followed my gaze and clapped her hands, beaming with outward excitement, "Honey, I'd like to introduce you to our child, your little brother: Daniel Martin."

My eyes immediately flicked to meet my mothers, trying to absorb this new information. Daniel. She'd named him after my father, and when I saw the subtle look in her eyes I figured she had neglected to mention this fact to Jim.

The man of the hour spoke up finally, "Well, aren't you going to say anything?" 

I met his eyes unflinchingly, "Congratulations." I addressed my mother next, "I didn't even know you were pregnant," it was meant as a sort of accusation.

She twisted her hands together, a common nervous habit of hers, "Yeah, I had known for a little while and I was planning to tell you eventually, but I wasn't sure how to."

'Oh you weren't sure how to tell me you were pregnant with your abusive boyfriends baby? I wonder why?' I wanted to scream at her, but I kept my mouth firmly shut.

She frowned and seemed to understand the direction my thoughts were likely heading but continued nevertheless, "I was planning to tell you that one night, I even waited up for you but you weren't in a very good mood."

I hastily flicked through my memories of those last few months and tried to figure out which night she was talking about. Then it came to me, she must be refering to the night that I had first been dragged into the demogorgon madness and the same night Billy had slept over at my place. 

I closed my eyes for a moment, allowing myself to remember the conversation with my mother. 

Thankfully, Jim is already asleep when I open the front door, however my mother is seated at the dining table, with what appears to be a glass of scotch clutched between her dainty hands.

"Uh- hey mum. I was just heading to bed." I say carefully, trying to gauge whether or not she's in a good mood. "Okay, honey. Goodnight." She says after a pause, as if lost in her own thoughts.

I make to go to my bedroom but stop beside her instead and after a moment of hesitation, I sit carefully in the seat beside her, "Are you okay?"

She doesn't answer right away, instead she turns to look at me with a strange look in her eyes. I shift uncomfortably under her gaze. "I'm sorry that I've been such a terrible mother to you, Cassandra."

"Mum- no, you haven't-"

"No, Andie. I know- the way I treat you.. it isn't fair. I'm going to do better, I swear it."

"So you're finally gonna dump Jim's sorry ass?" I say without thinking and then immediately regret it when her face falls.

"No, why ever would I do that? Jim is the reason I've decided to do this. I think he might finally be the one that I can settle down with, Andie." Her voice raises towards the end as if she can't keep the excitement from her voice.

I flinch back from her as if I've been slapped, "You're fucking kidding me, right?"

I try to keep my voice down but I'm becoming angrier with every sorry word that leaves her mouth. "Why would I joke about something like this?" She sounds so sincere that I can't hold back the single tear that falls from my eye.

"You really are delusional," I say finally with a mocking laugh. I don't look back at her as I rise from the table and head to my room, I can already picture the disappointed expression on her face.

I sigh, staring down at the innocent baby's sleeping form it all begins to make sense, "It's fine mum, I'm just glad to see you looking so happy."

After the interesting welcoming party, our strange new family of four piles into Jim's car. I expect to spend the rest of the ride home in silence but Jim unexpectedly tries to keep the conversation flowing, "There's one other thing."

I meet his eyes for a brief moment in the rearview mirror but quickly look away, in the end it is my mother who reveals the grand news, "We're getting married!" 

Fuck.

I try to picture a world where the two of them are happily married, with a baby and a house with a white-picket fence but no matter how hard I visualise it, it never makes sense. Unless Jim has been abducted by aliens and is now a completely different person, I knew it would never end well. 

But for my mothers sake, I force a smile, "That's great, mum. Really. Congratulations."

She turns back around with a smile still on her face, I grimace as I watch Jim reach over and grip her hand. However my disgust quickly transforms into sadness as their intimacy reminds me of Billy. I missed him so much.

Before I can think to stop myself, the words are out, "Did you uh- tell anyone where I've been? Or did anyone come looking for me?"

My mother considers it for a moment and then, "We called the school to explain your absences before the summer break but other than that- Oh, wait no. That boyfriend of yours came asking about you, but don't worry I just said you were visiting a sick relative," she smiles softly, as if she was recalling the moment. 

"He seems very sweet, I don't know why you didn't introduce us sooner."

I gulp and stare out the window with wide eyes. My mind is racing, desperately trying to work out who she's talking about. I figured asking, 'which one?' would be the wrong move, so as we slowly approach my familiar home I can't help but wonder which boy it was who cared enough to come looking for me.

* * *

ITS FINALLY HERE!! i know i'm over a year late but better late than never.. right? its okay u guys can yell at me now i deserve it. but anyways, after A LOT of writers block we finally doin this. strap yourselves in and get ready for a hell of a lot more drama and angst and EMOTIONS

okay im done if you've waited this long and ur still here ily <3

p.s. i updated the playlist with some new 'summer' vibe songs hope u like

p.p.s.  i got inspired & made a new cover that i am extremely proud of :0