"I'm chill." - Barb Holland

[ TRIGGER WARNING: domestic violence/abuse]

The rest of my evening with Billy passes rather quickly. We manage to keep up a decent conversation while we eat and I find that I quite enjoy Billy's company even when we're both completely sober.

Neither of us brought up the party again and I think we were both as relieved as the other. I'm usually quite good at reading people but when it comes to Billy I can never seem to tell exactly what he's thinking and it's driving me absolutely fucking crazy. 

I'm dying to know how he feels about our make out session, but there is no way in hell that I'm going to be the first one to bring it up. I'm not even sure if I know I feel about it.

There is still so much about Billy Hargrove that is a complete and hopeless mystery to me. Sure, I'd enjoyed kissing him, but after his violent outburst when I had refused to go any further with him, admittedly I was almost afraid of him.

More so, I was afraid to see him angry again. In those few moments he had reminded me of Jim on one of his bad days and I didn't like it one bit. 

Nevertheless I was determined to learn more about him. He may terrify me when he's angry and his very presence may feel both intoxicating and suffocating at the same time but I liked spending time with him. 

He was entirely different to Steve.

Ugh, Steve.

As I follow Billy outside to his car, my thoughts can't help but wander back to my troublesome ex-boyfriend. 

"I need to pick up Max but after that I'll drive you back to your car," Billy says, glancing back at me as he opens his door.

I nod distractedly, my mind still on Steve and what the hell I was going to do about him and Nancy. 

It seemed as though Steve and Nancy were officially over and although I was relieved, I couldn't help but wonder where Steve and I stood after our encounter at the halloween party.

The ride to the arcade is mostly quiet, but the silence is comfortable. I've noticed that Billy seems to be a man of few words, due to this I've been learning to remember the ones he actually blesses my ears with. 

I'm finally building up the courage to straight up ask Billy about our kiss when the bright neon lighting of the arcade comes into view and I curse myself silently for waiting so long, there's no chance I'll be saying anything with Billy's step-sister in the same car with us. 

The red-headed girl is outside the arcade talking to a boy I recognise as one of Nancy's younger brothers' friends. I'm pretty sure his name is Lucas. I can't help but notice the change in Billy when he sees his step sister. 

Before, even though neither of us was speaking it was almost as if Billy was comfortable or at ease, but that seems to have changed completely. The girl looks panicked as she spots Billy's car and she hastily says goodbye to Lucas and hurries over to us. 

I can't help but wonder what the relationship between Billy and her is like. Do they get along well?

She comes over to the passenger side and opens my door, but freezes suddenly when she notices me. I do my best to ignore Billy's sigh of annoyance.

"Oh- I'm sorry, I didn't even look before I opened the door-" She stutters, clearly embarrassed. 

I smile and am moments away from telling her it's completely fine, but Billy speaks up before I can.

"Just shut up and get in the back Max," he spits.

I turn my head sharply, giving Billy a slightly angry but equally confused look as Max closes the door. However he isn't looking at me, in fact it seems as though he's avoiding looking at me. 

I scowl at Billy one last time before I turn my body right around and face Max with a smile. 

"It's Max, right? I'm Andie," I say, holding out my hand. 

Max freezes again, her eyes move from my hand to Billy sitting unnaturally still in his seat and then back to my face. Hesitantly, the girl grips my hand and shakes it gently. 

And as I sit back in my seat and cross my arms across my chest, I look at Billy's barely concealed expression of anger and can't help but feel as though I've taken a massive step backwards in the positive direction that my friendship with Billy was heading.

* * *

Billy doesn't say anything as he pulls up behind my car, outside the house of the halloween party. I turn to face him, hoping that he'll say something but he's staring straight ahead and looking anywhere but at my face. 

I sigh and place a delicate hand on his shoulder so that he'll finally look at me. When he does, his eyes are cold and distant, a mask that I'm sadly beginning to recognise.

"Thank you Billy, for everything," I say softly and before he can reply I shrug off his jacket and place it on the seat behind me as I get out of the car. 

I don't look back as I climb into my own car and twist my key in the ignition. I don't even look back as I pull onto the road, leaving Billy far behind.

* * *

I'm overwhelmed by a sense of dread as I pull my car into the driveway. My time with Billy is over and it's finally time to revisit the real world. And in the real world, I'm expecting Jim to be really fucking angry. 

They may not have noticed when I left for the party or maybe even that night when I never came home, but they definitely will have noticed that I wasn't in my bed this morning or that I haven't been home all day.

I can only hope that Jim hasn't been drinking, it's always worse when he's been drinking.

As I get out of the car, I look down at my outfit and can't help but cringe at Billy's too big shirt and baggy basketball shorts. I'm going to be in so much shit for this. I only wish I'd had the brains to pack a spare pair of clothes in my car when I went to the party. 

When I reach the front door I stop and take a deep breath and silently steel myself for whatever awaits me within that room. But as I finally reach for the handle, the door opens in a rush and I'm suddenly staring into the red, bloodshot eyes of my mothers boyfriend. 

I whimper as he grips my upper arm and drags me roughly inside, I can't bring myself to resist. Maybe if I let him have his way it'll be over much faster. 

Once inside, Jim pushes me up against the wall next to the door and I can see my mother standing in the kitchen over his shoulder. As usual, she takes in the scene that is about to unfurl and takes that as her cue to retreat to her bedroom. 

Jim grabs my chin with one hand and uses the other to press me against the wall so that I'm trapped between him and it. His grip on my arm is tight enough to bruise.

"Where the hell have you been?" he spits, and I can smell the liquor on his breath. 

I close my eyes and pray for it to end soon. 

"I was at a friends place," my voice is breathy and quiet.

Jim narrows his eyes and releases me, taking a few steps back. And just as I think he's about to accept my lie, his eyes travel up and down my body, taking in my strange outfit. 

"Don't lie to me bitch, you've been out fucking around haven't you? You filthy slut," he growls and slaps me hard in the face. 

I grab my cheek and bite my tongue to keep from crying out in pain, it's always worse if I scream.

"Jim, no- I haven't! I swear!" I gasp, fighting back tears.

"Don't fucking lie to me!" he screams, bringing back his fist and hitting me square in the face. 

After the first blow, the rest pass with a blur. He hits me again and again, I haven't seen him so angry ever before.

 And when it's finally over I grab some ice from the kitchen and drag myself into my room, I fall asleep holding the ice to my throbbing face.

* * *

sorry for the wait! i was super busy the last few weeks but i should be able to get back into my regular updating schedule from now on.

as always, if you're enjoying the story remember to give it a vote or leave a comment down below! xx

a/n: unedited