Awkwardly, she joins Vince–her father– on the couch, unsure what to feel. Besides the fact she hasn't seen him for over three years and doesn't even remember him, he also decided at the best time ever.

Cough.

"Hi," she greets, head averted.

He nods at her. Vince's eyes trail over her body, and she shifts a bit, waiting for him to speak. His expression is still unreadable, though he runs a hand over his goatee.

"Hey," he finally says, then adds, "Joan."

The girl replies with the first thing she can come up with. Anything to break the ice. "Did you name me that, or did WCKD?"

"Your mother and I did," he states. "We did love the name, but it was also as a cover. We were aware that they named kids after historical important people, and figured out if you ever stood face to face with a WCKD employee, and told them your name, they'd believe you belonged there. It was better than have them take you."

"Wouldn't they have taken me into the building if they thought I belonged there?"

"Maybe. But we had taught you how to fight and what to say if an employee ever appeared."

Slowly, she nods. "And where is she now? My mother?"

Vince lowers his head, which says enough.

So she quickly moves on, ignoring the sink of her heart. "Thomas is family, right?"

"His mother was your mother's sister."

"Are any of them alive?"

His Adam's apple moves as he shakes his head. "No. Thomas's father got the Flare and almost killed his own wife. That's when she sent Thomas to WCKD. Or well, Stephen. I know him as Stephen. Anyway– she also caught the Flare, and I found her with a bullet in her head."

Lovely.

"What about my mom? Wasn't she working for WCKD? And later on, she came back for us. Not long before we got bombed."

"And I lost you. Where were you?"

"Answer my question first."

He lets go of a deep breath. "You know Janson, right? He.. uhm– he shot her."

Ah. Such good news she's getting today.

But beside that thought, a certain anger rises in her. She might've not known her mother, but people can't go around and kill her. Or kill innocents at all.

"Why did he kill her?"

"She spoke to Ava Paige. Said she wasn't sorry for creating the Right Arm with me. When that happened– when she fell to the ground, I thought I lost everything. First my daughter, then my wife."

"You never got a 'wanted' flyer of me? They're everywhere. Killer with a pink gun."

"We lived in the mountains, so no."

She can't imagine how he must've felt. How her parents must've felt, thinking she was either dead or got taken by WCKD. The way her parents had lived without her for over three years, and her mom then dying.

"I know this must be really weird for you," Vince adds. "And obviously we won't immediately turn into the best father-daughter duo, but we could make our way to that, if you agree."

"Yeah, sure," is her reply, and she cringes at how dry that sounded. Not a hopeful tone or a big smile on her face... just a simple yeah sure.

"So... a killer with a pink gun, huh?"

A blush catches Joan's cheeks. "Well, yes– but I don't really use the gun that much."

"Hm. Thought you might've gained my skills with guns. So you're really not that scary?"

"I stab," she says, shrugging. "It's nicer, somehow. But either way, I don't kill a lot."

"Who do you kill? For what reason?"

"...If they don't join me, I'll kill them."

He must be disappointed now. It's really just manipulating and threatening people– no motive behind it, honestly.

"But I only force Cranks. They'll die anyways, and I take care of them well. And WCKD employees, too. But if they even hesitate a little bit, I know enough and then they're... well, dead."

"The girl," he starts after a few seconds of silence. "Teresa. Who called WCKD and got us bombed. Who betrayed her friends because she believes WCKD can find a cure... would you kill her? She's an employee after all."

Joan looks down for a second, considering it. She didn't know Teresa very well. But she did know Teresa also got sent up, just like her. That she also went through a few horrible, confusing days, and that her life is ten times worse than WCKD's employees.

Besides, she has never ever killed a minor before. Minors aren't fully grown up. They don't always think straight. Neither does she. Teresa can't be much older. So she thinks what she's doing is right, just like how Joan thought misleading the Gladers was right.

"I don't think I would," she decides. "Unless I figure out she's not being manipulated to do shit and is voluntarily doing horrible things to others. Then I maybe would. After having a talk."

Vince nods. "Alright. Makes sense, kid."

Please don't call me that, but she doesn't say that out loud.

One, Jasper always called her that.

Two, it's impossible to feel like a kid after... everything.

***

"Kid–"

"I trusted you!" She gives Jasper a push. He only stumbles backwards because it came as a surprise. "I trusted you! I loved you like a father! And the whole fucking time, you were betraying me!"

He holds up his hands. "Joan–"

"I hate you." Another push. "I hate you. I hate y–"

"You're with your friends now–"

"Don't interrupt me, you dickhead!" A tear leaks from her eye. She feels insane. Crazy. Ridiculous. But she's so angry. And hurt by this... this stupid man. "I don't care! You didn't do it just so I could see my friends again! You drugged me! The whole time, as you helped me clean up after murdering, helped me 'search' for Thomas, took me to nice landscapes– the whole time as I saved you, and helped you! I provided you with food! I cleaned your clothes– and I kept you alive!"

He doesn't say anything. Just stares, and it makes her even angrier.

"Say something, then!" She cries out. "You coward–"

When she tries reaching out for her knife as her other hand claws towards him, he takes her wrists, and presses her against the wall, knee between her legs so she's not able to kick him.

"You're going to hurt yourself," he says, slipping the knife out of her hand and tossing it to the ground. "Calm down."

But her chest only tightens. She's being held against the wall by a grown man– not in an intimate way, but it frightens her that just in a second, she can be powerless. No defence.

"Let me go," she orders, panicked. "Right now."

He obeys. Luckily.

Then fast, the girl flees, all the way to Gally, who's in his room. She attacks him with a hug, crying and clenching around him at once.

He could, too. He wouldn't, of course, but she does realize that if he wanted to, he could easily hold her down. Anyone could, really.