𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟒

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘊𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 

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╰┈˚ · ° .  GUILT. IT WAS A POWERFUL EMOTION. One that could eat you alive. I knew that well, all I could feel at that moment as I watched over my sister, sleeping on the couch at the moonstone palace, was guilt.

My fingers brushed through her hair— the soft golden-brown color had become so dull during these last months.

Guilt. All that Feyre could feel after Ander the Mountain was guilt. She had taken the life of two innocents all because of some twisted game a ruler— a dictator— had imposed on her to save the man that she loved.

She had died. I knew, without a doubt, that she could still hear her neck snapping into her ears daily.

Dying wasn't as easy for someone that longed for life.

The knots in her strands fell loose after hours of my hand brushing through it, and even when my fingers became almost dull and unfeeling, I still couldn't get myself to stop.

"It's not your fault, Vee." Rhysand's voice was soft to my ears, but even then, I didn't look anywhere else but my sister.

"I left her alone." I said, sorrow shining through the few words spoken. I repeated them, as if I couldn't believe what I was saying, "I left her alone."

"You didn't. You needed time for yourself, there is nothing to be ashamed of. You did it for yourself, you did something for yourself once." when I stayed silent, he continued. "When I winnowed her, she told me that she understood why you didn't go back with her in the Spring Court." I snapped my head towards him, "She said that she was proud of you. You spent your whole life doing whatever you could for your sisters. She wants you to have a life too. "

"But look what happened." I breathed out, curving my lips into a disbelieving smile. "I left her alone and she..."

"We both know that he would've done the same thing even if you would have been there."

I cleared my throat feeling the rising emotion clogging it, "I need some air." I stated. Swiftly standing up and walking away without a second glance back knowing that Feyre was safe with Rhys.

It was only when dawn approached that I had finally found the balance in myself once again. I had spent more than an hour laying on the soft snow that littered the floor underneath the mountain. Reconnecting myself with the land, I had discovered, had a therapeutic effect on my soul. I had time to think and not think. I had time to let a few tears out. And I had the time to strengthen myself back because now I was there. I wasn't leaving her alone. But as much as I wanted for it to go, my heart still clenched at the veiled accusation that she had, our fight was still at the back of my mind. When my thoughts drifted to the raven haired High Lord, I knew that I wasn't going to be alone. Feyre needed more than just me. She needed someone else more— even if she was unaware of it. Her mate.

When I winnowed back in the Moonstone Palace, noticing how Feyre was still asleep, I took the time to direct myself to my room there. All my things were mostly in the wings for the Bloodsinger in the House of Wind, but I still had a few items in the dresser for me to change in after a quick bath that warmed me up. Even if the Court had kept me secured away in a bubble of magic from the cold, it was still good to let myself enjoy a bath to further ease my nerves and muscles. I was dressing up when the scent of rain, salt, and citrus drifted up my nose.

I immediately lowered the shields around the bond permitting my Eardreor to freely speak to me,

"Feyre is awake." Rhys said, "She is coming to talk with you. She took the decision to leave the Spring Court." He stalled for a second before continuing, "We are going to Velaris."

"She is coming too? " I asked immediately, my protective instinct coming as soon as the idea of bringing someone new to the city was mentioned. That explained the hesitancy of Rhys to say it. It was a natural instinct— but nonetheless, something that I wasn't expecting to rise with my sister. But apparently, not even if I had shared a womb with her, she was still an outsider to the city.

"Yes." He replied.

"Are you sure?" I cringed as I asked that, but I couldn't contain the words back. Rhys chuckle traveled through the bond, "Rhys! You know I'm not doing it on purpose." Slightly irritated with the High Lord, I snapped.

"I know, Vee, I know." His laugh was joined, but it was soft and filled with unclear emotions that still made me soften.

I took a second to calm myself before thinking this from another perspective, "So I will not have to lie to her anymore?" I questioned even if I knew the answer to that already. It was a relief when he answered positively.

"Yes, no more lying." I could see in my mind the smile that I was sure curled his lips, "Come in the main atrium once you're done."

"See you there." The conversation finished just in time, because soon, there were two knocks on the door of my bedroom.

The scent of lilac and pear was unmistakable to me, I knew it like the back of my hand. We were twins, but so different from one another that even our scents were on the opposite ends.

"Hi." I said as I came face to face with my sister after weeks of not seeing her.

"Hi." She breathed out. Feyre took a few hesitant steps, eyes darting around the room that looked much more personal even then the one I had lived in the Spring Court in for months and months.

"Rhysand said that he is bringing me somewhere but... he told me that we needed to talk first." A frown covered her features, as she darted her eyes anywhere but on me.

I couldn't fault her, I was doing the exact same until that moment.

Feyre took in a breath, stilling it in her lungs as it would give her the courage to face the conversation, "I didn't mean to say you were just an assassin." She said through a whispered breath taking me completely by surprise, "What I meant was..." She swallowed, "I- I couldn't understand how you did what you had to do Under The Mountain without breaking and falling apart. I had underestimated you. Your training, what you've been through. And I feel guilty because I didn't help you when you needed me." She took a second to brush away the tears falling on her cheeks before she was speaking again, "I couldn't even be there for you. And all these months you tried over and over again to do that for me and I felt so guilty that I pushed you away."

Guilt. Such a powerful emotion.

"When I came back home..." I started, maybe stealing the bit of the braveness that she showed to speak freely, "the only time where I could breath without feeling a weight on my chest was when we were together, Feyre. You helped me. You did by just being there. You made me smile again when I thought I had been too broken to do it. To show even the slightest of emotion. You have nothing to feel guilty about."

All of this... it was just miscommunication. All the time that we spent hurt and afar... we could have been sparing us all this hurt by just talking.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I pushed you away." She said,a sigh falling from her lips, the words no more than a weak whisper.

"And I'm sorry that I left you alone."

"I understand why you did it. I don't blame you."

I nodded, sighing in relief when she made the first step. We clashed against the other, arms wrapped into a tight hug. It was too long the last time I had felt my twin so close. We had matching streaks of tears down our cheeks that made us laugh slightly when we broke apart.

I knew there was something else that we needed to talk about before moving forward, no more lies,"There is something else," I started, "It's about what Rhys said, where we are going."

And so I did. The glamour fell from my hair revealing the crimson shade and then the truth that I had been omitting from her. I revealed the story behind how I came back to life. My powers were next until I arrived at the history. My thoughts closed off slightly as I started to reveal my connection with the Night Court— as if my body was protecting the territory making it difficult for me to speak about it. The bloodsingers history, my bond with Rhysand. How in all these months I met with him and the Inner Circle...

When I finished talking, the silence in the room fell thickly around us. "I know it's a lot, but please, please, understand that I had to lie to you. I had to protect myself from Tamlin, who already saw me as the enemy before. Even now, I'm struggling to tell you all the truth. It's a natural instinct because everything that I am— my being— is trying to protect my Court."

"The Night Court." Feyre muttered under her breath. I could feel the slight sting of betrayal in her tone that made me slightly winch.

"Yes." I said without a doubt. My court. The Night Court.

A second, two passed before she sighed, "I understand." She said slightly reluctantly, "I do, I really do, but like you said, it's a lot. I just need some time to process everything."

"Okay." I nodded, pursuing my lips. She wasn't saying anything, and learning from our previous errors, I invited her to speak freely, "I'm not going to get angry, whatever you need to say, just say it."

"It's just that I... I feel like I don't know the new you now." Hesitantly she spoke, "Maybe the real you. A lot of things changed and maybe I feel a bit left out. It will pass, I just need a bit of time." But she cleared her throat, "And you have red hair now?" Almost incredulously she said the last sentence.

"I know." I laughed slightly before quickly sobering up, "I need you to promise me something now." I said, needing it more than my next breath. "I know that you already promised Rhys but I need to hear it. Promise me that you won't tell a soul about where we are going."

Maybe understanding the plea in my tone, Feyre was quick to nod. "I promise."

"Good." A bit of relief found me then, "Now we have to go, Rhys is waiting for us."

We walked together, silence though, reigned around us. As he had said, Rhysand was waiting in the atrium, leaning against a moonstone pillar, smoothing down his suit.

Rolling my eyes at his action— something that he likes to do too much in my opinion, I spoke to the High Lord, sass evident in my tone, "Your suit looks good, can we go now?"

Rhysand smirk was nothing but cocky and arrogant as he spoke back, "I always look good, Vee."

Deadpanning at him, I replied, "I said the suit looks good, not you."

"No, you didn't."

I raised a challenging eyebrow at him, "Yes I did, asshole." A choking sound from beside me made me snap my attention to my sister. She was standing rigid, her eyes were wide as she looked between Rys and I.

Oh, probably speaking to Rhysand so carefree— someone that she was thought to fear beyond anything else, took her a bit by surprise.

"Don't mind your sister. As you well know she has a permanent stick shoved up her ass." Rhys commented, waving a hand in my direction.

"Excuse me?" I scoffed at his words.

"What?!" Feyre's eyes widened even more, making me glare harshly at the High Lord— who just shrugged his shoulders with a sly smile on his lips.

We were not helping her calm down, alright.

"It's okay Feyre, take a breath." I instructed my sister. Doing just that, Feyre closed her eyes for a split second before turning her focus on Rhys once they reopened.

"Where are we going?" She asked, curiosity shining in her eyes alighting them with a spark that had been lost for a bit too long.

Rhys's smile widened into a grin. "To Velaris—the City of Starlight."

✎

˗ˏˋ 𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 ˊˎ˗

Hello everyone!

And with this chapter, Act one of Crimson Red is concluded!

The first act of this book was a wild ride with a lot of emotions but I have to say that I love each and every one of these chapters.

I loved writing and rewriting these parts, and I hope that you all can see it shine through my writing.

Now, for Act 2, a lot more things are bound to happen!

I love you all, my readers!

˚ · ° . 𝐔𝐩𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐞 . ° · ˚

𝐓𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐝𝐚𝐲

𝐓𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐝𝐚𝐲

𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞!

– 𝐋𝐨𝐥𝐚 ☾