𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟎

𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙨𝙝𝙚?

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╰┈˚ · ° .  THE LIBRARY OF THE SPRING COURT  these days was never empty, words spoken out loud as Feyre slowly read filled the room, ink pots drained as she practiced her writing.

From the couple of times I had heard her, I would say that she was making a lot of progress. I couldn't help but feel proud of her and thankful to Rhys— the one that actually took his time to help her learn these skills in the beginning.

But it was there— the icy feeling of fear that traveled down my spine, rising the hair on hairs, forming goosebumps— my sister would rarely anymore look me in my eyes. Seeing our bond frailing was heartbreaking, dread inducing.

It was early in the morning, the sun just about to rise. I was eating breakfast in the kitchens, the house still asleep— well, apart from the guards that lingered in the hallways. I found comfort in the silence.

The door opened revealing the faerie with mint green hair. Cyra was the oldest of her sisters, she was always presentable, her simple gown perfect, not even a wrinkle in sight, her mint green hair braided to perfection. "Good morning, Maiven." the faerie nodded her head in my direction before moving for the stove ready to start brewing the tea, "Would you also like a cup?"

"No, thank you, Cyra." I replied after swallowing the bite of fresh fruit in my mouth.

The faerie nodded her head, opening a packet, the scent of blood coming off it was strong, the raw meat that was revealed once opened had not been a surprise.

The faerie cleared her throat, opening her mouth a couple of times, but she still said nothing.

Noticing her hesitancy I spoke, "Go on Cyra, don't worry, you can eat." I said.

The females let out an almost unperceived sight, with her long milky talon she cut a piece of the raw meat before bringing it to her mouth. "Not everyone is alright with our diet. Many people find it disgusting and prefer that we do not eat in front of them." She explained.

"Well, not me." I shrugged, "It's what you need so I don't mind. And–" I trailed off when suddenly the scent of rain, salt, and citrus drifted up my nose.

"I'm coming for the bargain with Feyre." Rhys' voice echoed down through their bond. I let out a sigh of relief at his words. Rhysand had the unmatched quality to make me feel better. I don't know if it was because of the Eardreor bond or because it was just him, but I didn't mind one bit.

"Try to not create too much drama." I replied knowing that still, it would never happen.

"And why would I do that?" Rhysand chuckled. A gust of his arrogance passed through the bond before it morphed into concern suddenly.

I knew why. When we spoke through our connection our walls were lowered. Our emotions bleed into it. I knew he could feel my sadness.

"Vee?" Rhysand's concern arrived. I didn't want to answer him, so I did the only thing that I was good at when there were emotions.

I ran and hid from them. I raised the walls around the bond, shutting him out.

"Maiven?" I snapped back to reality at Cyra's voice. She had her brows furrowed, a drop of blood staining her lips. "Everything's good?"

Before I could answer, a growl cut through the walls of the mansion.

A ran then, following the sound until I was standing in the hallway outside the bedrooms.

Tamlin, Rhysand and Feyre—who was wrapped in a blanket and nothing else— all stood there.

"Shut your mouth," Tamlin said, taking a threatening step towards the Night Court High Lord. "And get out."

"You really should have your wards inspected. Cauldron knows what other sort of riffraff might stroll in here as easily as I did." Rhys told him tauntingly, the addition of his sly smirk adding to his arrogant persona.

I rolled my eyes. I knew Rhys enough then, that I was sure that his comment was referring to me winnowing in and out without anyone noticing it. "Bastard." I spoke through our bond.

A flick of amusement passed as a response before my Eardreor focused back on his mate.

"Put some clothes on." He said, referring to only the blanket she was wearing.

To my surprise, Feyre bared her teeth at him before she stepped back into her room. Tamlin followed after her.

Rhysand's eyes shifted towards me, one eyebrow raised in my direction before his focus was taken by the faerie at my back. "What is a ghoul doing in the Spring Court?" He asked Cyra, confused by her presence there. Ghouls were native to the Night Court.

The faerie steeled her back to a perfect posture,"I'm only half ghoul." She replied.

"The other half is nymph, I know. Anthousa, to be exact. Nymph of flowers." Rhys clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth, "Still, I'm sure that this is not the best place for a ghoul to live in."

The door of Feyre's bedroom opened once again, cutting the reply of the faerie before it was even delivered. She took that opportunity to let out a breath of relief.

Rhys' expression quickly morphed back to the dangerous High Lord when the couple stepped, unreadable. He extended one of his hands towards Feyre only for Tamlin to appear and shove that hand down. "You end her bargain right here, right now, and I'll give you anything you want. Anything."

"Are you out of your mind?" Feyre almost shouted, her eyes widening at what her fiance had proposed— which was everything.

Rhysand merely raised a brow. "I already have everything I want." He stepped around Tamlin and took his mate's hand. Or at least, he soon will, I was sure of it.

I slipped next to Rhys then, placing my arm in the crook of his elbow giving a nod towards Tamlin that was just a bit too sly. Before Feyre could even say good-bye, a black wind gathered us all up, and we were gone before even having the time to blink.

We appeared in the Moonstone Palance, my heartbeat was once again normal. My nostrils flared as I took in the jasmine scent alongside the one of fresh snow. I felt peaceful and I didn't want that to be disrupted, so I swiftly left before anyone could stop me.

──── ⋅⋅•☽⟡☾•⋅⋅ ────

╰┈˚ · ° .  Here at the Night Court I felt confident enough to approach my sister. It was like here, I could be more in control and not succumb to my emotions. I needed to know why she was pushing me away, I needed to know how I could make it better.

My heart still clenched tho when I approached her bedroom. I raised my hand to knock on the door, and a few seconds too late came her response.

"I'm tired, Maiven." My sister's voice came from inside her room by a barely concealed sigh.

I clenched my jaw as another emotion arose, rage. And so, I entered anyway not caring about her words. "We need to talk." I told her, not beating around the bush.

"I told you that I'm tired. Go away." She sat up on her bed, sunken eyes hardening slightly. It was better than the alternative.

"And I need to know why you are acting this way with me." I said, once again not agreeing.

Feyre shook her head exhaling a sigh, she clenched her hands into a tight fist as she rose from the bed, but her back was curved on herself showing me how physically weak she appeared to be.

"I don't know what you are talking about." She said dismissively, her gaze moved over the snow-capped mountains.

"Yes, Yes you do." I insisted. My words making her scoff only angering me further. "You can't even look at me, Feyre."

"I said that I don't want to talk about it." Apparently running from our problems and what was affecting us was very much a trait of the Archerons.

"Well, I do." I put my foot down, I wasn't going to walk away from this room without answers. Real ones. "Is it because I don't like Tamlin? I always made it clear from the beginning that I did not like him but if he made you happy then I was okay. Did he ask you to not talk with me?" I would not put it past him to do something like that.

"It's not because of him or anything he told me about you." She replied with a clenched jaw.

At least now I had the confirmation that he had actually spoken about me to her. And I knew that it would not have been anything flattering in any way.

"Then what is it!?!" I yelled, patience a far away thought. I needed to know. I couldn't bear the thought of losing my sister— and even more, without even knowing the why.

"Leave it."

She tried to turn away only for me to grab her, not letting her go. "No! Just tell me okay? Why?!"

"Because you were there too!!" Feyre yelled, finally exploding with all her repressed emotions. "You did whatever she asked you to do. Whatever Braken asked you to do. How many faeries did you torture? How many did you kill? I'm falling apart after killing two of them!" Tears now streamed down her face as with every word she carved into my heart, mercyless. "How?!" She sobbed, "How can you live knowing what you did?!" Her voice was raw and thick with emotions as she shouted. Her tone then, calmed down to a whisper but the tears never dried down, "You are just-"

"Just an assassin." I cut her off feeling like a knife had stabbed me right in my chest. I felt like it was going to burst out. It hurt so much that I thought that it was going to stop beating altogether. And with what Feyre had just said, it might already be.

"That's not-"

"I understand." I said cutting her off once again, not letting her speak more, "I'll leave you alone now."

I could still hear her sobs as she wailed into her room as I walked out as fast as I could, hoping to outran the words that were said.

Just an assassin.

But of course it didn't work that way. Those words echoed in my mind, founding home between the memories of my life. All those things that I wished that I could forget, the one that still to this day haunted my sleep. The pain splitted between my mind and heart making my breathing pattern alter.

It was too fast.

I entered her room and slipped on the uniform that was taking dust in the closet, so familiar. I stalled for a second deciding where to go. Back to him? Should I do that?

I am just an assassin, right? So why not go back to him?

But another part of me called me to Velaris, and so that is what I did.

I winnowed on the rooftop of the House of Wind where the training ring was.

I needed a distraction. I could always clear my mind, let go of the rage and sadness while training. I knew it would help me. So that is what I did.

Just an assassin.

My body moved to perform the routine that day after day, years after years I practiced restlessly. I remembered it to perfection as it was carved permanently into mind.

Just an assassin.

My heart pounded in my chest and my breathing didn't slow down.

I smelled rain, salt, and citrus but I didn't do anything, I just ignored him. I couldn't talk with him. Not now.

Just an assassin.

It wasn't enough. I unsheathed the sword that hung on my side, now in my hand, I continued to train. A dance performed with meticulous precision. The sound of the air being slashed and stabbed came to an end when the sword came in contact with the metal of another weapon.

Cassian's strong and bulky frame appeared in front of me with a wif of snow chilled wind and crackling embers that was his scent. His wings tucked in and his sword held tightly in his hand. His shoulder length hair was tied back and where a grin usually adorned his features now a straight look took its place. A warrior ready for battle.

The two of us moved in a circle before I was the first one to attack. The weapons clashed together in strong blows, over and over again. Fluid movements powered with brutal strength.

Memories started to flash before my eyes. The cold and demanding voice of Braken ringing in my ears with his taunting words.

"What a murderous little creature you are."

Cassian ducked to the side evading the blade. His elbow raised and without missing a beat, he jammed it into my face. Pain blossomed there when I couldn't evade it, I could feel a small cut opening on my cheek, a trail of blood following before it quickly closed.

"Never show your pain."

I blocked his next punch and dodged his sword crouching down creating an opening for my own weapon. I thrusted it forward, cutting the side of his calf. Cassian stepped to the side with a grunt of pain, he avoided the blade from creating more damage as his wound too quickly closed.

"Again."

Blow after blow our weapons collided together once again. I anticipate his next blow, ducked to the right, sending a kick to Cassian's side followed by a punch to his face, not showing any restraint with my force.

"Love is weakness."

Tears streamed down my face unknowingly to me as Braken's voice continued to sound in my ears relentlessly. My rage mixed with pain only fueled my strength and precision, creating perfectly placed movements and hits.

"Please! Let me out!"

My heartbeat was erratic as my walls and shields completely crumbled into dust, unconsciously, sending my emotions and memories down the bonds even harder.

Cassian's sword fell to the ground as I kicked him on the chest hard enough to make him buckle and fall on his knees, panting and with blood that stained his golden-brown skin.

The General didn't move an inch. His fear was none existent even as I twirled the sword in my hand and was looking down at him.

I wasn't there mentally, he could clearly see it. My cheeks were wet with tears and eyes fogged with memories and pain. So much pain. Cassian's own eyes glistened with unshed tears as he stared up at me. My friend.

We were much alike in many ways. Hiding emotions behind a facade was something that we both did. Opposite sides of the same coin.

"Rise, assassin."

I glanced down at my left hand. The inside, on the palm that didn't bear the scar anymore.

"You owe me a life debt now, my little creature."

My right hand opened, the sword dropping on the ground, the metal clashing with the stone making the sound echo in the silence.

And then, I fell on my knees as sob broke from my throat. I let out tears that had builded over for years.

Muscled arms caught my body before I could crush against the pavement, cradling me against a muscular chest that had a heart beating as widely as my own.

"I've got you." Cassian whispered as his fingers stroked my red unglamoured hair, "I've got you now."

✎

˗ˏˋ 𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 ˊˎ˗

Hello everyone!

This was a hard chapter, I broke my own heart. but it is necessary!! You'll see why!!

And a cry was definitely needed for Maiven, just as someone to catch her when she fell. It's a lot symbolic that Cassian was there before she could hit the ground, like the representation that she is not alone anymore and that she will always have someone to catch her.

They are a family, and I love the relationship that it's building between the Inner circle!

I just want to say that this story is not and will never be a Feyre bashing!! I LOVE her character.

You'll see soon what I have in mind for my fav sisters!

Anyways, thank you for reading this chapter, I'll see you on Tuesday!

˚ · ° . 𝐔𝐩𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐞 . ° · ˚

𝐓𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐝𝐚𝐲

𝐓𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐝𝐚𝐲

𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞!

– 𝐋𝐨𝐥𝐚 ☾