There is written panic/onset anxiety in this chapter with the theme/written topic of relapsing via alcohol in this chapter. Please do not read any further if you are sensitive to these topics.

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"Woo-" A voice quietly stirs the younger from the depth of his sleep, pulling him further away from the scape of his dream. The hotel room was still dark when his eyes opened, blinking until they focused on the scene ahead of him. San was still laying down behind him, hand rubbing his hip gently as Wooyoung turned around to face him groggily. "Are you alright?"

"Hm? Why?"

"You were mumbling. I just wasn't sure if you were awake or not."

"I was sleep talking?" Wooyoung says with a bated breath, finally rolling to his other side completely, facing San and immediately moving to collide into his chest.

"Yeah." San chuckles quietly. "I was worried that you weren't sleeping at all."

"No-" Wooyoung lets his eyes close again. "I was sleeping."

"I'm sorry for waking you up." San says sadly, but Wooyoung sleepily smiles at him.

"'S okay, San'ah." Wooyoung nearly mumbles, nuzzling further into San's chest. "I w'na tell you something, though."

"I'm listening." San moves his leg to rest inbetween Wooyoung's, fully tangling their bodies, holding the younger as closely as he could manage.

"Let's sign the papers on that apartment." Wooyoung says as clearly as he could, still teetering on the edge of sleep.

"Which one?" San leans away slightly, eyeing his sleepy partner with confusion glazed over his eyes.

"That second one. The one near the park?" Wooyoung's eyes open again, blinking up to look at San tiredly. "It fits us."

"But. . . you said-"

"I know what I said, Sannie." Wooyoung leans away too, almost back on his side of the bed, hand reaching to rub at his eyes gently. "I'm being serious. I've thought about it. I'm ready to start new with you."

San doesn't say anything. He just sits there, staring, blinking; Wooyoung can't help but stifle a tired laugh at him. "W-what? Are you gonna say something or are you just going to blink at me?"

"I. . . didn't expect you to say that. You saying that wasn't the intention of any of this. I didn't bring you here to convince you-"

"No, no-" Wooyoung laughs again, cupping the sides of San's face with his hands. He's extremely tired, and a bit delirious, but he's never been so sure of something before. "San'ah, I'm serious. I'm not being pressured into saying anything. I mean it."

San smiles at him, leaning down to meet Wooyoung in a gentle kiss. Wooyoung smiles into the kiss, pulling San closer, melting into him the longer they meld together. Wooyoung gently pushes San up with his palms on his shoulders, smiling at him tiredly. "Is that a yes?"

"Obviously." San kisses him again, pushing Wooyoung's hands away as he leans over him, kissing into the younger until he feels like he can't breathe. "Thank you."

"I'm excited to move with you." Wooyoung preens, eyes still slightly red from escaping the will to sleep.

"I'm happy that you agreed." San lowers himself back into the mattress, lying on his side, watching Wooyoung's gaze follow his movements.

"I jus' love you." Wooyoung smiles, leaning a bit further into his pillow. "I'm g'na be your only roomie now. There's no getting rid of me."

"Not that I ever would get rid of you, but-" San pulls Wooyoung closer, kissing his forehead. "I can't wait to sign those papers with you."

"Mhm." Wooyoung hums, easily falling back into a hazed and tired stupor.

"We can talk more tomorrow." San breathes. "Get some sleep, jagi."

"Got everything?" San asks as he slings his bag over his shoulder.

"Yeah, I think so." Wooyoung does one last look around the room before heading towards the door, swinging it open slowly. San follows him out of their hotel room, silently saying an internal goodbye to a room that felt like it had brought peace to their relationship. Wooyoung seemed calmer this morning, more than usual, maybe a bit tired if anything, but San was just thankful that the younger actually slept for more than a couple of hours.

They ride in the elevator before trekking into the lobby, receiving their car keys back when they approach the counter as an employee drives the car back under the hotel's overhang. In the midst of checking out, Wooyoung's phone begins to ring, and he glances at San apologetically.

"It's okay, go answer it. I'll unlock the car for you." San smiles at him, moving the keychain around in his hand before pressing the unlock button twice. Wooyoung swivels his head to watch the car through the lobby doors, headlights illuminating the pavement ahead of them. Wooyoung takes a breath, heading out of the lobby while reaching for his phone, sliding it unlocked to answer whoever was calling him.

"Wooyoung'ah!" Yeosang's voice greets through his phone's speakers, and Wooyoung smiles.

"Hi, hi. What's up?"

"You're at that hotel that you told me about right?"

"Yeah, we're just about to be on the way home. Why?" Wooyoung exits the hotel, walking towards San's car and slinging open the backseat door, gently setting his bag on the seat.

"How was it?"

"It was really nice here. It was just good for me to get away, I think. The apartment search was overwhelming and now coming here, I was able to think for a bit."

"What did you think about?"

"I thought about what I wanted. It's a loaded topic, but. . . I dunno, spending time with San here made me realize how stupid I was being. Like of course I want a future with him, I always have, but I was placing my fears ahead of my needs." Wooyoung closes the backseat door, moving to open the passenger door. "I kinda feel like shit for making such a big deal out of it now."

"Sannie doesn't feel that way. He knows that you're dealing with a lot."

"I know." Wooyoung settles into his seat, closing his door after. "He just puts me ahead of himself all the time. I can't imagine the toll it takes on him."

"If he wanted space, he'd tell you. This overnight stay sure seems like he doesn't want space, Young'ah. If anything, it just seems like he wants you to know how much he really cares about you."

"You should've heard the shit he was saying to me," Wooyoung smiles in remembrance, biting his lower lip. "He's such a softie."

"He's always been smitten for you like that. Did it make you feel better though?"

"Better in what way?"

"Better in terms of feeling confident about where you and San are at. Or even just using this getaway as a means of decompressing."

"Oh," Wooyoung blinks, listening to the hotel's main doors slide open. His eyes trail towards the noise, watching as San heads out of the building and towards the car. "I do, a bit. I feel a little better about it."

San opens his car door after tossing his bag in the back seat, settling into the driver's seat and shutting his door with a gentle slam. He smiles at Wooyoung, raising his brow curiously as he eyes his phone. "Oh, San'ah, Yeosang is on the phone. D'you wanna say hi to him?"

"Hi Yeosang!" San greets happily, placing his keys into the ignition.

Wooyoung tilts the phone away from his ear and places it on speaker just before Yeosang greeted back. "Hi San'ah!"

"Anything new, Yeo?" San asks, placing his phone into his car mount.

"No, no. Just checking in on you two. Woo told me that you guys were going to a hotel, so I wanted to see how it was."

"Ah, it was nice. I had a really good time." San enters their address into his GPS while talking, selecting their route before placing his car into drive and checking his mirrors. "Didn't you, Young'ah?"

"I did." Wooyoung smiles at him, listening to Yeosang hum through the line.

"Sounds like it was good for the both of you, then."

"It really was. But, we need to try to get the group back out somewhere. We should see if we can get Mingi in on a plan to go back to the beach house."

"Are you sure?" San looks at him for a second before putting his eyes back onto the road, pulling into the main street. Wooyoung hesitates, listening to the silence between the three of them fill the space absently. He only mentioned it because of some weird desire to be a part of his friend group again, but the impact of his wishes didn't hit full capacity until he thought back to the events of the summer.

"Yeah." Wooyoung settles on, wishing he could've explained his thought process more, but hesitated on being truthful.

"I mean, I'm sure Mingi would be alright with it. Dude's always looking for a reason to drink or something."

"We just haven't been able to enjoy each other's company in a while either." Wooyoung adds, watching San's jaw tighten. He raises a brow, but chooses to not say anything.

"Well, mention it to him. Can't hurt anything?"

Wooyoung nods, even though he knew it could likely hurt a lot. There were a lot of unresolved memories lingering within that house, ones that Wooyoung wasn't completely sold on revisiting, however, he finds himself not too willing to let the idea go. "I'll text him about it later."

"Let me know what he says. I've gotta head back to work and try to hurry to get done early so I can beat Jongho home."

"Why do you have to beat him home?"

"Uh-" Yeosang takes a breath. Wooyoung can sense the hesitance in his voice, unsure of how to feel about something possibly being wrong between the newer couple. "I'll tell you that later. It's a long story."

"Yeah, sure. Have a good day at work!" Wooyoung tries to sound chipper in hopes of cheering his friend up, but Yeosang's tone is dry as he ends the call.

"Bye guys."

"Bye!" San chimes in as they both listen to the call die.

"That was nice of him to check up on you." San mentions quietly, both hands on the steering wheel.

"Well, I told him about my meltdown. He's been worried about me more than normal, so he tries to text me or call me every day."

"It's good to see you mingling with the group again. Not that I want you to spend less time with me or anything, but it just shows me that you're healing. You spent quite a bit of time in isolation, so seeing you back in contact with Yeosang on a daily basis just makes me really happy."

"Thank you." Wooyoung smiles at him, setting his phone down in the cupholder. "It feels a bit better too. The whole apartment thing, I mean."

"Did you mean what you said?" San asks, checking his mirror momentarily before glancing at Wooyoung.

"Last night?"

"Yeah, about signing the papers. I know you were exhausted and I had just woken you up."

"I was serious." Wooyoung smiles at him before San glances away. "I meant it. Spending time with you like this just made me realize some things so, the decision was made pretty quickly on my end. I was gonna tell you in a more sentimental way, but I was loopy and tired so it just came out."

"Well, even still, I'm excited to get started on all of this. But we're gonna do it at your pace, okay? Not mine. If you need to slow down to relax, we can do that."

"You're so sweet, Sannie." Wooyoung smiles at him again, leaning in his seat, staring out of the windshield. San smiles back at him, moving one of his hands over to grab Wooyoung's, pulling it towards him. Wooyoung eyes him curiously, face deepening in blush when he realizes that San was pressing kisses to the back of his hand. Wooyoung bites his lip, holding his quiet laughter at bay as their hands fall tangled into his lap.

The weight Wooyoung had felt just a few days prior seemed to have left. He was comfortable and content, secure in what he has around him to provide hope for a new future. Nothing was going to change, at least, nothing that he didn't want to change. His friends weren't going to disappear and more importantly, San wasn't going to abandon him. Wooyoung didn't have to fight any of this alone anymore. They were in this together.

Three days pass. Wooyoung is settled in the apartment with a mound of moving boxes open and waiting to be packed full. He had been sitting on the floor going through his clothes for the last two hours, trying to donate stuff he wouldn't wear while picking out others he'd like to keep.

San had left for classes already, leaving just before the sun was rising to head early to his internship, but not before kissing his boyfriend and pulling the comforter back over him.

"Young'ah-" Seonghwa says, going through his own clothes that were still hung in his old room. "Did I ever even wear this?"

"I don't think so." Wooyoung eyes an unfamiliar coat that Seonghwa held in his hand strung from a clear hanger, both males staring at it confusingly.

"Why the hell did I buy it?"

"I don't know." Wooyoung laughs. "You have a knack for doing shit like that."

"God, I feel like I wasted a lot of money. Do you have a big donation pile too? Or is it just me?"

"No, I do too. San has quite a bit also." Wooyoung lowers his gaze back down to his pile of shirts, holding up a ripped black tee that he finds himself unable to get rid of.

"How is Sannie? I haven't seen him in like a week."

"Typical San. I told you we went to the Mondrian, didn't I?"

"Yeah," Seonghwa says, folding the coat carefully over his arm. "I can't believe he took you there."

"I was surprised too." Wooyoung scoffs. "He told me he had a surprise for me, but I had no idea what he could've planned."

"Joong'ah would rather take me to just a restaurant and come back home." Seonghwa mentions lightly, earning a confused gaze from Wooyoung.

"He wouldn't take you overnight somewhere?"

"It's not like that. You know how he is. He's always been more comfortable sleeping in his own bed. But, in terms with me, he'd rather do other things in his bed, too."

"Ah." Wooyoung laughs, watching Seonghwa smile. "Sannie isn't like that. He could sleep anywhere."

"I know he is." Seonghwa rolls his eyes. "Living with him for three years has proved that. I've come home and seen him sleeping at his desk and on the couch in awkward ways."

"He just sleeps if he's comfortable enough." Wooyoung smiles, folding another shirt. "But, as of late, he's found it hard to sleep without holding something."

"He's grown clingy, hm?" Seonghwa teases and Wooyoung nods.

"Very much so. Even before we started dating, San wasn't a touchy person, not to the extent I am anyway. He's a whole different person now. He can't keep his hands off of me sometimes."

"Oh, so he's in love love?" Seonghwa laughs, and Wooyoung rolls his eyes.

"Don't pretend you don't feel that way about Joong."

"I'm not saying that-" Seonghwa huffs, earning small giggles from Wooyoung. "I'm just saying that seeing you two like this doesn't even feel weird. It's like you guys never changed, you're just. . . having sex now."

"That's a bit of a stretch, don't you think?" Wooyoung looks up, but Seonghwa shrugs.

"I don't think so. You guys always cuddled on the couch, always smacked eachother's asses, always shared food and drinks, and you slept in his bed nearly every night. It was almost like you were together without actually being together yet."

"I think it's just my personality and love-type that gives off that vibe. I'm touch orientated, and I express my love to everyone by kissing and hugging, stuff like that. San, I think at a certain point, just stopped refusing my love and started reciprocating. He's told me before that he doesn't know how to receive affection well, but after being such close friends with me, he's learned how to give and receive love willingly."

"Sannie has come off that way to me before, but he still dotes on me as much as I don't want him to." Seonghwa adds, earning a hum of acknowledgement from Wooyoung. "Seeing you two like this now just makes more sense. Like I don't know if I could ever see you two as just friends ever again."

"You're nuts." Wooyoung folds another shirt and Seonghwa chuckles at him.

"I'm being serious. Our friend group has changed and evolved over time since we've all known each other, but it doesn't surprise me that we paired off this way. Did you realize that everyone who was 'close' is now dating that person they were close with?"

"Who would've guessed it, huh?" Wooyoung puts another shirt away, pausing as he hears his phone ring. "Ah, speaking of partners-"

"I'll leave you alone for a second so I can go put this down." Seonghwa turns heel and leaves the room as Wooyoung reaches for his phone and answers the call quickly.

"San'ah."

"Hi Young'ah. What're you doing?"

"Packing clothes. How was class?"

"Boring, but I passed another exam."

"Proud of you," Wooyoung smiles.

"Thank you. Since I just had an exam, that means I'm gonna be home earlier."

"Ah, so you'll be home in time to help me pack your clothes?"

"You don't even have to do that to begin with."

"Well, I want to. Work has been weird lately and she's been giving me more days off, so I have a lot of unusual time to myself that I have to use."

"She still didn't tell you what was up about the sudden change in hours?"

"No." Wooyoung sighs. "She's been avoiding the conversation and it's scaring me."

"Jagiya, don't worry." San coos, and Wooyoung's head tilts down to eye his phone. Truthfully, he was a bit worried about his job status because of how weird his boss had been. He used to work six days a week with varied hours, but now he was suddenly working three or four days a week with short hours, barely making half of what he used to. Wooyoung had money saved up, so that wasn't the issue, but for someone who craves stability in his life, this sudden rocking of his ship was stressful to say the least.

"I was gonna call her tomorrow and try to figure it out. But, on the bright side-" Wooyoung's gaze flicks up to eye Seonghwa as he walks back into the room. "I've had more time to pack and get things organized for our move next weekend."

"I'm glad you're trying to see the positive in all of this. I'm proud of you."

"You're flustering me again." Wooyoung bites his lip as he looks down at his phone again, listening to San chuckle through the line.

"I've told you this already, but it's kind of my job to fluster you."

"Your job is to love me, Sannie, not bully me." Wooyoung fake pouts, trying to sound sad through the phone.

"I do love you. But I also get to pick on you out of love, too."

"Don't let him fool you San'ah! He's smiling like an idiot even though you can't see it." Seonghwa says loudly, and Wooyoung immediately shoots a look of betrayal at him.

"Hwa!"

"Hi Seonghwa!" San laughs again. "I know he's smiling. He couldn't trick me even if he tried."

"You're both bullies." Wooyoung pouts for real this time, and Seonghwa rolls his eyes.

"Oh, don't go soft on me, Young'ah. You know I'll come home and fix that opinion real quick."

"Do it, then."

"Hey! Do not start flirting like that in front of me-"

"Aw, what Hwa?" Wooyoung laughs. "Are you shy? Do you not wanna hear us talk about our sex life?"

"Woo, stop it."

"You're gross, Young'ah." Seonghwa groans, earning a cackle of laughter from the younger.

"Who's the bully now, huh?" San chimes in, listening to Seonghwa butt in too.

"Yeah!"

"Okay, I'm hanging up. You two are not allowed to gang up on me."

"I'll be home in a bit anyway. Are you staying for dinner, Hwa?"

"No, it's date night. I'm gonna head out in like ten minutes to go meet Joong."

"Ah, well next time, yeah?"

"Of course. I'll be back again, Woo, I forgot my phone." Seonghwa smiles at him before turning to leave once more, giving the room another minute of privacy.

"Wooyoung-"

"Yes, San'ah?"

"I'll be home in probably an hour. Wait for me."

"Obviously, jagi."

"I love you."

"I love you more!" Wooyoung smiles, disconnecting the call and letting his screen fall dark. His gaze returns to his pile of shirts, taking a breath before diving back into what he was doing. He folds shirt after shirt, listening as Seonghwa re-enters the space and sits down on the floor just in front of him.

"It feels weird seeing this apartment nearly empty." Seonghwa mentions, eyeing the remnants of San's room carefully. "I can't imagine you two living somewhere else."

"Well," Wooyoung places another shirt into the box. "The place we are moving to is nicer and more open, and it's well within walking distance to campus and the library. I sent you pictures of it, didn't I?"

"I can't remember if you did." Seonghwa watches Wooyoung reach for his phone again, swiping and swiping until he reaches his photo album, pulling up the pictures from their new place.

"Oh, this is nice." Seonghwa mutters quietly as Wooyoung continues to fold. "It's really modern. Was it built recently or renovated?"

"It's a newer building, so the apartment hasn't been used more than once."

"God, you guys got lucky." Seonghwa muses, swiping to another picture. "The view out of the windows isn't bad either, not that I mind looking at city buildings, but having a park view is gonna be really nice."

"I'm a bit worried we won't have space for everything, but San seems pretty certain that we can make it all fit."

"It's not like you're taking both beds." Seonghwa scrolls past another picture. "You should be fine space wise."

"I can't wait for all of you to see it in person." Wooyoung preens, grabbing a hold of the last shirt in his pile, which just so happened to be one he stole from San and refused to give back.

"They'll all be happy for you guys." Seonghwa says, looking at the box full of folded shirts and shorts. "Yeosang mentioned how proud he was of you yesterday."

"Oh did he?" Wooyoung sets the shirt down into the box, carefully pushing it aside towards another closed box.

"Yeah. He called me yesterday and we just got to talking about you two and about Jongho."

"Do you know what his deal is lately?" Wooyoung asks curiously, but Seonghwa shrugs.

"Probably not anymore than you do. He told me that they had an argument a couple of days ago, and ever since then, they've been avoiding one another."

"So that's what he meant." Wooyoung says dejectedly, thinking back to his conversation with Yeosang on the phone.

"What did he say to you?"

Wooyoung debates internally before wetting his lips with his tongue, eyes casted down at his hands. "He mentioned that he needed to beat Jongho home for some reason, but he wouldn't tell me why."

"I can't imagine it's anything good." Seonghwa pulls out his own phone after feeling it vibrate in his back pocket. "Speaking of Yeosang, he just texted me."

"Is it about Jongho?"

"No." Seonghwa sets his phone down with the screen off, gaze lingering on it for a moment. "Just about work."

"I'm worried about their relationship, Hwa." Wooyoung admits quietly, watching as Seonghwa meets his gaze. "They've been on rocky waters for almost two weeks, but now it seems to be getting worse."

"Well, it's not our business unless Yeosang wants it to be, so we just have to wait for him to tell us."

"I know." Wooyoung frowns. "I've been so blind dealing with my own shit and I feel bad not being there for him like he's been there for me, y'know?"

"If he wanted us to know, he'd tell us. Yeosang and Jongho have always been secretive about their relationship and the affairs of it, so this isn't anything new. We just gotta give them the space they probably want. The fact that Yeosang is even telling us crumbs of anything is good enough."

"You're right." Wooyoung feels his phone buzz again on the floor next to him, eyes trailing towards it almost immediately as he eyes his boss calling him. "Oh shit. . . I'll be right back, Hwa. I gotta handle this."

"Sure," Seonghwa watches Wooyoung grab his phone and exit the bedroom, staying put after.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Wooyoung. Is this a bad time?"

"No, ma'am, this is fine. Something the matter?"

"Oh, well. Unfortunately, yes." Wooyoung's heart sinks. His boss was a very nice and understanding lady, one who looked out for him and always was mindful of Wooyoung's anxiety. Wooyoung respected her a lot, especially her work ethic and dedication to reading, showing Wooyoung her favorite books and poems in their shared downtime. Wooyoung was always thankful for his job and his boss equally, finding contentment in working there as it brought certain stability into his routine that he so desperately needed.

"Oh no. What happened?"

"Well, my husband and I spent a lot of time looking at the books and the numbers for the library. Unfortunately, because of electronic means of reading, our sales numbers have been incredibly low. Recently though, they've been the lowest we've ever seen."

"Oh, that's terrible."

"The worst part is that I never could've guessed that this was going to happen. I'm sorry for cutting your hours and making drastic changes to your schedule, but you've been so patient and willing that I wanted to thank you for that."

"It's really not a problem."

"But, Wooyoung. I do have to let you in on some more unfortunate news."

"Okay." Wooyoung swallows nervously.

"I am really sorry to do this, especially when you've told me about everything going on, but I do have to lay you off for a couple of weeks."

Wooyoung's heart snaps in half. He's staring at the wall in the living room, breath caught in his throat, slightly shifting his weight between both of his feet as he stands there with a familiar feeling of dread rushing over his skin. He isn't sure how long he stands there motionlessly, void of words and thoughts as he feels a familiar sinking feeling coarse through his veins.

"I am really sorry, Wooyoung. I will let you know when I can reinstate your hours as soon as I can, okay?"

"Y-Yeah." Wooyoung sputters out, catching his breath. "I understand."

"I am so sorry. Please let me know if there's anything I can do for you."

"Yeah, I-I will." Wooyoung breathes, phone falling away from his ear and out of his hand when the call ends, smacking the floor loudly. He's dizzy, vision blurring, heart thumping against his chest. It doesn't even feel real to him right now. He could be dreaming, and he could wake up at any point, but this nightmare feels incredibly telling.

"Young'ah? What was that?" Seonghwa asks from the bedroom, peaking around the corner to spot his friend standing in the middle of the living space looking down at the floor, staring at his phone that was face down on the hardwood. "Woo?"

Wooyoung doesn't respond. He doesn't even know where to begin. Everything was fine. Everything was finally fucking fine. Now his world was suddenly beginning to fall apart again. Everytime he felt like he was gaining traction on his mental health, taking a promising three steps forwards, he stumbled and fell back eight. He really felt as if he had no control over his own life anymore, succumbing to every instance that threatened to ruin his stability and chance at a happy life with San.

"I-" Wooyoung chokes out, a tight feeling storming his chest as the aching urge to cry surges through his nerves. He doesn't know if he can contain this meltdown, not when he felt as panicked as he did.

Seonghwa picks up on his anxiety easily, quickly walking over to Wooyoung and raising his head with two of his fingers under his chin, moving in as gently as he could to hug Wooyoung tightly. Wooyoung's arms slowly move to wrap around the elder, gripping onto his shirt before letting reality sink into his pores.

This wasn't a dream that he could wake from. He was truly living in his nightmare, now.

"Let it out." Seonghwa says quietly, finally feeling Wooyoung's breath begin to hitch. Seonghwa drags his hand down the line of Wooyoung's back, soothing touches along his clothed skin as the younger cries into his shoulder.

Wooyoung was shaking, hands trembling and searching for anything to hold as he grips onto the elder's shirt anxiously. This cry felt different than the rest. There was more at stake, more to lose now, and it felt like he had just lost the war he had been battling for a better part of the year.

He felt lost. He found himself searching for any semblance of hope he could reach for but found nothing in the darkness that began to consume him whole. His anxiety had a hold on him, sinking its teeth into his skin and pulling his soul into the dark that he spent so long ignoring, but now feels helplessly trapped into.

All he craved was stability; a chance at being successful and a chance to be happy, now gone with the trail of the wind.

"Woo," Seonghwa mutters quietly. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No." Wooyoung's voice is shaky but suddenly calm, feeling an urge simmer beneath the collar of his shirt. One he hasn't felt in a long, long time. "I just want San to come home."

"Do you want me to stay with you until he comes back?" Seonghwa feels Wooyoung pull away from the hug, shaking his head, hands reaching quickly to wipe away lingering tears.

"No, no. I'm fine, it's fine. Everything is okay, or it will be, I don't know. I just-" Wooyoung takes a shaky breath in, pushing his hair out of his eyes. "I'm on edge right now."

"I can see that. I'm not gonna leave until you're calm, okay?"

"Don't make Joong wait because of me, please. I don't wanna ruin your night with him. I can't handle the pressure of that too, I can't-"

"Hey, hey, relax. Please, it's alright." Seonghwa reassures quickly, stepping forward to close the distance between them again. "Joong will understand. He cares about you just as much as I do and he would want to know that you're okay."

Wooyoung nods, leaning his head down to rest on Seonghwa's shoulders and closing his eyes tightly, trying to bring his breaths back to normal. He felt calmer, but he knew that the moment he was alone, it would all come crashing back down.

"I promise I'm okay." Wooyoung breathes after spending a few minutes resting against his friend, finally drying his tears for the time being. Seonghwa snakes his arms around Wooyoung fully one more time, giving him a reassuring hug, hoping that he would continue to be okay even after he left.

"You call me if you need anything. Promise?"

"I promise." Wooyoung nods, sniffling quietly.

"Whenever you want to talk about it, just tell me. I will come here and we can sit and talk for a few minutes or for hours if you want to. San can be here too, if you want. We care about you a lot, Young'ah, don't forget that."

Wooyoung hugs Seonghwa a little tighter, voice even, but hinted with sadness. "I know."

"I love you, okay?" Seonghwa leans away, smiling at the younger as he moves a strand of hair out of his eyes.

Wooyoung nods, smiling weakly back at him. "I love you too."

And with that, Seonghwa leaves. Wooyoung waves bye to him as his friend walks out of his apartment and down the stairs, leaving Wooyoung alone with his thoughts.

He feels like he wants to vomit. His mind is crazed with a few different thoughts, all screaming and all demanding to be heard as Wooyoung closes the front door and locks it. He leans against the door, eyes closed, breathing deeply as he tries to ignore the looming anxiety that was ready to engulf him whole.

"Breathe-" He mutters to himself, inhaling and exhaling shakily, biting his bottom lip as it begins to quiver. "Shit."

He loses himself again, feeling more pathetic than he ever had. He hated how sensitive to everything he was, how one small change in routine ruined his entire mental stability for god knows how long, leaving him defenseless against raging thoughts that he couldn't control. He needed something. He was beginning to shake, hands trembling as he reached to cover his face, feeling every ounce of willpower evaporate from his system.

He didn't know how he was going to survive the remaining time until San came home, leaned against the door and crying into his palms, almost unable to remain composed or to even try to calm himself down. He walks towards the middle of the living space, tears streaming quickly down his cheeks as he reaches for his phone, hurriedly calling San before his mind begins to ruin him.

San doesn't answer. Wooyoung calls again, and San doesn't answer a second time.

In a fit of anxiety and not knowing what to do, Wooyoung angrily tosses his phone at the couch and walks into his old bedroom, swinging the door open with haste as he looks around the room he barely entered into anymore.

His eyes gaze at his closet, reaching over to pull the doors open before focusing on the top shelf, knowing deep down what he was about to do. Unsure if he could stop himself, he looks away, biting his tongue, eyes closing as more tears sink down his cheeks with a pain radiating from his chest. He needed it to stop. He needed the thoughts to stop. He needed it all to just stop.

So, he reaches for the hidden bottle of soju nestled in the corner of his closet shelf, holding the bottle between his trembling palms. He stares at it, eyes lulled and breaths hitching, feeling the urge from earlier breathe loudly into his mind. He knew what he was ruining by doing this, and he wasn't really sure if he would grow to regret it.

He didn't care. He was alone and in need of something; anything to make it all stop for a minute so he could just breathe.

So he unscrews the cap, hesitating, swallowing nervously as he stares at the familiar soju bottle.

He takes a swig, a small taste, feeling the familiar alcohol cool over his tongue in hopes that he'd hate the sting and that he could forget that this even happened. But, he's wrong. His body urges him for more, and he gives in easily.

He tilts his head back and downs the entire bottle with lingering tears as his thoughts bleed into nothingness.