There is mentions of mental health, sudden onset panic, and extreme anxiety. Please do not read any further if you are sensitive to these topics.

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The night falls fast, the sun rising behind the haze of clouds. Rain was lingering overhead, finally releasing from low hanging clouds as drops descended to the Earth, coating windows and cars with streaks of water, soaking the terrain for almost three constant hours.

Wooyoung is awake, sitting in the kitchen, a bowl of cereal in hand that is nearly empty with lingering milk. Wooyoung is on the countertop again, staring out of a nearby window, watching the rain fall outside. It was early, way earlier than he'd usually ever be awake, mind bothered by the thoughts associated with his night with Yeosang.

He was annoyed with the outcome of the night all together, wondering why what was supposed to be a fun night out, quickly turned into something that left him with a feeling of regret.

He wanted to support Yeosang and rebuild their friendship, but not like that. He really did not ever want to run into Yeonjun again, deeming what could've been a budding friendship as borderline inappropriate. Yeonjun clearly found Wooyoung attractive or something similar, and the thought of that alone was uncomforting. Wooyoung regrets not telling Yeonjun about San, but he rolls his eyes at himself, hoping that Yeosang would speak up if his name ever came out of Yeonjun's mouth.

He tilts his spoon around the bowl, stirring his milk around with a numb mind, almost wishing the bowl would refill itself. He's lazy and tired, hoping for a break from everything.

"Young'ah?" San's voice carries from the bedroom, so he turns himself around on the counter, hanging off of the opposite edge to face the half-open bedroom door.

"I'm in the kitchen." Wooyoung responds, setting down his bowl behind him. His hands grip the edge of the counter, legs slightly swaying as he rests, listening to San rustle out of bed and head out of the room soon after.

"It's early." San says sleepily, voice toned deeper than normal. "Do you have t'go to work?"

"It's my day off." Wooyoung watches San stop walking to process, then shrug, then continues walking forward, hands greeting Wooyoung's thighs as he pushes them apart and forces himself between, wrapping the younger in a lazy hug. "You seem like you're still tired, Sannie."

"I'm pretty sleepy." San admits, face burying into the crook of Wooyoung's neck. "Come back to bed with me."

"We're already up, San'ah." Wooyoung giggles. "Didn't you want to look at apartments and stuff today? Or are you too sleepy?"

"No, no, I still wanna do that." San breathes, hands drifting to rest on Wooyoung's thighs as he leans away. "I just didn't expect you to be awake before eight."

"I didn't either."

"Did you not sleep okay?"

"Not really. I think yesterday was just a lot, so my brain never really shut off."

"I know. I'm sorry it was tough for you." San puts his hand under Wooyoung's chin, raising his gaze gently, smiling at him when their eyes meet. "I'm really proud of you for the progress you've made. I know it's been hard on you to readjust to this new life and new routine, but you've been doing so well."

"Sannie-" Wooyoung's face is beat red, a smile pulling at his lips.

"Uh-uh. I'm not done yet." San teases. "I wake up thankful everyday to have you next to me. I wake up even more thankful that you continue to choose to be happy. You've really changed a lot, but I don't know if you realize that. You have no idea how proud I truly am of you, Woo."

Wooyoung's heart is absolute mush now, smitten and fond as the words of praise continue to pepper his ears kindly. Wooyoung presses a kiss to San's cheek, smiling and biting his tongue, an entire zoo occupying the space butterflies once lay in his abdomen.

"Thank you, jagiya." Wooyoung wraps his arms around him, hands gently toying with the ends of San's long hair. "But, can I tell you something about last night?"

"I'm listening." San leans back carefully, eyes curiously searching the younger's face.

"So, remember the guy I mentioned?" San nods and hums. "Well. . . it was Yeosang's coworker. I-I was a little afraid to tell you because I wasn't sure how you'd feel about it. He was really nice to me and trying to dance with me, even led me out of the club when I got overwhelmed-"

Wooyoung takes a hesitant breath, gauging San's reaction for a moment as he pauses. "I was trying just to enjoy the night, but I ended up feeling really uncomfortable? I don't know. I'm confused about why I felt the way I did. But, he's also Yeosang's neighbor, I found out. He was in the elevator coming up when I tried to go down to the lobby."

"That's. . . a lot." San's jaw tightens, but he continues listening anyway.

"I know. I'm sorry. I regret going out at all because of the mess it created. I'm glad Yeosang is happy and whatever, but I don't like how I felt. I didn't like an ounce of it."

"I'm glad you're telling me. What was his name?"

"Don't go all guard dog on me, San'ah."

"I won't, I won't- I just, y'know, for future purposes."

"I can see what you're getting at." Wooyoung smiles at him. "It's Yeonjun, if you must know. Yeosang is adamant that he didn't mean it that way because he apparently has a thing for their boss, Soobin."

"Work love drama?" San leans closer, pressing featherlight kisses on Wooyoung's neck and jaw.

"Oh yeah. You have no idea."

"Okay. I trust you." San's hands lower to his waist as he mutters words against his neck, squeezing gently.

"Thank you." Wooyoung breathes deep, letting his anxiety evaporate from his skin. The admittance of everything felt better now that San knew what exactly happened. The lingering discomfort leaves his gut, hopeful to store away the memories somewhere he likely wouldn't revisit.

"Definitely having a word with Yeosang, though." San nods, tone firm, leaning towards Wooyoung's lips.

"Oh, Sannie-" Wooyoung pouts. "Don't be too hard on him. He didn't know."

"Well, he's gonna know now. Come on, we've gotta shower and get dressed. There's lots to do today, hmm?"

"So. . . do you wanna shower together? Save water? Save time?" Wooyoung suggests with a slight tilt to his head, and San smiles at him.

"Whatever you want, Young'ah."

After nearly two hours of getting ready and taking their leisurely time in the shower, Wooyoung finds himself waiting in San's car outside of a coffee shop. San was inside getting their drinks, leaving the younger tapping away at his phone in the passenger seat.

Yeosang

He literally pestered me like a child.

I'm sorry! He's been really protective lately :(

Yeosang

I mean, as he should be. But I didn't know!

Did you tell him that?

I did. I really tried to spare you the Sannie lecture, but he's too persistent.

Yeosang

God, I got a lecture from your boyfriend and my own. Am I gonna get one from Joong or Hwa soon, too?

Wooyoung audibly chuckles at Yeosang's text, typing back quickly.

No, Yeo. Relax, lol.

Sannie doesn't do it that often. You're being dramatic.

Yeosang

He definitely wasn't like this when you weren't sober.

Wooyoung tenses, almost hating the way Yeosang's tone sounded through the text. He knew he couldn't assume how serious his friend was being through pixelated words on his phone, but it still stung nonetheless.

Being sober has nothing to do with it.

San has always been protective of me and you know it.

It's nothing new.

Yeosang

I didn't mean it like that, Woo.

I just meant that he seems more overbearing than usual.

Jongho was the same fucking way this morning. Acted like I've never been drunk before.

It's okay. I know, I'm just in my head about it.

Jongho was being overprotective? Imagine that.

Wooyoung's eyes trail upwards as he watches San come back towards the car. Wooyoung reaches across the center console, opening San's door for him, pushing it gently with his fingertips.

"Here," San hands him his drink and Wooyoung takes it gratefully, setting down his iced coffee within the cupholder. San leans into his seat, setting his drink down too, closing his door and placing his key back into the ignition.

"Thank you, jagiya." Wooyoung hums, leaning back over as he waits for San to face him, stealing a kiss the moment that he does.

"You're welcome." San smiles, turning back towards the steering wheel as he reaches for his seatbelt.

"Yeosang is kinda acting weird." Wooyoung mutters the moment he leans back into his own seat.

"In what way?"

"He's saying that you're acting more possessive than normal."

"Oh, because I called to fake-yell at him?"

"I dunno. There's something hidden beneath the surface." Wooyoung frowns, phone buzzing with another text.

Yeosang

He wasn't happy that I was out so late. Wasn't happy that I drank enough for you to have to drive me home. Wasn't happy that I wanted his attention when I got into bed with him.

Just couldn't do anything right last night.

"Oh. That's why." Wooyoung almost answers himself, curiosity lingering in his tone as he reads the text. San leans over, taking a sip of his coffee before reading the text for himself.

"Jongho has always been like that." San mutters.

"He seems like he has a stick up his ass, though." Wooyoung starts to reply back.

I'm sorry, Yeo. Maybe he was just tired?

"I don't think that's a valid excuse." San leans back into his seat, looking through the windshield as a few cars pass by.

"I don't either. I'd kick you in the dick if you spoke to me like that." Wooyoung mentions and San scoffs.

"Good thing you won't have to, 'cus I never would."

Yeosang

He half-assed apologized to me before he left.

I have to be at work in like twenty minutes and I haven't gotten off of the couch.

I'm hungover and I feel like shit.

Yeosang :(

Yeosang

I'll try to text you when I get on my lunch break Woo.

Have fun searching for apartments. Send me pictures. <3

"God, I feel bad." Wooyoung sighs, shutting off his phone.

"Is he okay?" San asks, setting his drink back down.

"He's alright, he's just a bit sad about it. I never would've guessed Jongho would be so pressed about Yeosang going out like that."

"Well, he knows how Yeosang is. Yeosang isn't one to deny a night out when the opportunity rises."

"Jongho is the opposite of that too, so it's kinda weird how their dynamic works."

"I know. Hopefully they'll work it out." San reaches for his own phone, sighing as he unlocks it.

"I'm sure they will, San'ah. I just worry because they're the newest relationship in our group out of the three of us. I don't even know if they've said the L word yet."

"Oh." San raises a brow. "I kind of thought they would have."

"Maybe that's why Jongho has a stick up his ass?" Wooyoung suggests and San shrugs.

"Could be. Who knows? Jongho is pretty secretive about his emotions, so if they've said it or if Jongho is going to say it, we will never find out."

"You're right." Wooyoung reaches for his drink, taking a long, satisfying drink. "Where are we headed first?"

"There's one just down the road. It's the most expensive one, but it's closest to campus and not that far away from the library. It's kind of in the middle for both of us."

"Okay. Let's go see it." Wooyoung sets his drink back down, watching San set the navigation properly on his phone's GPS with a lingering smile.

The drive there is shorter than expected, pulling into a parking spot along the main road, greeted by a rather tall, painted brick building crafted with black framed windows. The building itself was smaller than anticipated, but neither male seemed to mind that.

The apartment itself was small, completely deceptive compared to its pictures. The bedroom was incredibly small and the flooring looked like it hadn't been updated in a couple of years. It was clean, but outdated. San looked unimpressed, but Wooyoung really couldn't gauge his impression properly without asking. Wooyoung had already decided for himself, but he waited for San to fully inspect the apartment before following him back outside to the car.

"I think it's too small, Sannie." Wooyoung mutters as they settle back inside of the car, tugging his seatbelt back over his body.

"I agree with you. Thankfully, that's why we have two more options." San opens his phone again, typing in the address for the next apartment.

Wooyoung tries to remain hopeful that they'll find something, but he holds a lingering feeling inside of his gut that reminds him of a familiar dread he felt towards the beginning of the year. Something about all of this didn't feel right, but he couldn't place his finger on as to why. He wanted to do this with San, but something was off.

The drive to the second apartment is longer, located near the otherside of campus, almost a twenty minute drive from their current apartment. The building is bigger, taller, more modern; located in a quiet neighborhood surrounded by a park. The apartment itself is spacious, covered in newer flooring and appliances with two bedrooms instead of one. There was nothing to hate about the apartment and its open-concept, but Wooyoung finds himself not in love with it.

They were farther away from their friends and kind of close to his job, but he remains disinterested. It was a nice apartment, but Wooyoung just didn't love it in the way he so desperately wanted to.

"What did you think of that one?" San asks as he settles back into the driver's seat, pulling out his phone again.

"It's nice, Sannie." Wooyoung's voice is softer, earning a glance from San that's casted in worry, but he decides against saying anything.

"Next one is in the middle of everything. It's closer to our old apartment, but it's almost walking distance from your job and the drive to campus is shorter." San mentions, typing in the address quickly. Wooyoung doesn't say anything and just sinks into his seat, checking his phone for a text from Yeosang, but sees nothing. He had sent him pictures like his friend had asked him to, but the messages remained on delivered instead of on seen.

The final apartment was in an older building finished with newer-looking windows, decorated by landscaping that was very obviously taken care of. Wooyoung and San trail up the single flight of stairs, walking into a long hall that was met with a series of doors. San checks the door number on the application, walking down to the right, stopping almost three doors down. The door is pushed open, and Wooyoung feels his heart sink.

He doesn't love it. He hates it.

It's small and cramped with newly painted walls that very obviously were hiding stains. San sighs as he looks around, clearly unimpressed that the pictures were misleading again. There was a crack in the window, baseboards chipped and riddled with mysterious color changes the longer they wrapped around each wall, doors squeaking with every move of its hinge; Wooyoung turns on his heel and leaves. He's overwhelmed again, met with bridging tears that threaten his composure quickly.

It was rapidly onset, something he couldn't have prevented even if he tried. His steps lead him back down the staircase, fleeing outside to grab a calming breath of cold, fresh air. San's steps appear from behind him, quickly paced as they chase after him. Wooyoung is wiping the tears from his eyes, trying to hide his difficult emotions as best as he could, but he finds himself unable to stop the flood of tears. His chest hurts, breath hitching as the first of many tears finally run down his cheeks.

"Young'ah?" San finally reaches him, walking around to face him, but Wooyoung ducks his head down, biting onto his bottom lip, trying to hide away. San gently places his fingers beneath Wooyoung's chin, pushing upwards, forcing Wooyoung's gaze to face him. "Jagiya-"

San's heart breaks at the sight of him. He's disheveled, completely breaking down over something he didn't understand. San's hand falls away, reaching his arms around Wooyoung in a hug that the younger doesn't refuse.

Wooyoung hides himself within the crook of San's neck, trying everything within his power to stop the onslaught of tears, but he finds himself useless. Maybe this was all pent up and hidden away, triggered by his fear of change. There was so much to take in, so much to think about; maybe he finally just snapped?

"I don't know what's wrong, Woo, but I'm right here." San mutters calmly, feeling Wooyoung grip onto him tighter. "It's okay."

Wooyoung cries into his shoulder for a long two minutes, holding onto him with whitening knuckles, afraid to tear away to face a truth that was becoming more obvious the longer he lingered there.

"Can we go to the car, Young'ah? Is that okay?" San asks gently, feeling Wooyoung nod against him, leaning away with tears leaking from his eyes still. San grabs onto his hand and leads him down the sidewalk towards his car, feeling Wooyoung squeeze his hand tighter the further they walk.

San opens Wooyoung's door for him, watching him dejectedly settle inside before closing his door with a subtle slam. He rounds the hood of his car, trying to get in as quickly as he could, leaning into his seat after closing his own door.

"Woo," San says quietly, turning towards Wooyoung who sat slouched in his seat, hands fumbling with one another. His hair just barely covered San's view of his eyes, but even still, San knew that he was crying. "Do you want to tell me what's wrong?"

Wooyoung bites his tongue, trying to hold back even more tears, finally getting to a point where he could see without the blur of tears interrupting his vision. He was calmer than he was a minute ago, but he didn't know how long that would last.

San reaches over, gently curling Wooyoung's hair behind his ear, now finally able to see the tear-stained cheeks and reddened eyes of his beloved. San's heart sinks, hand reaching further towards him, gently cupping the side of his face, thumb stroking against his skin in an effort to wipe away the tears. Wooyoung turns to face him, sniffling and looking down, admittedly a bit embarrassed at his sudden outburst.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." San mutters, watching Wooyoung tilt his head into his palm, leaning into his touch, silently asking for comfort. "I just don't like you being this upset, Young'ah."

"Can you just take me home?" Wooyoung says in a broken, quiet voice. San nods, thumb swiping away more tears that threaten to fall further down Wooyoung's reddened cheek.

"Yeah. We can go home."

"Thank you." Wooyoung smiles at him weakly, sniffling again, hand moving to gently grab San's wrist, head leaning away to press a few kisses to his hand. San smiles at him warmly, retracting his hand for a moment as he starts the engine, placing the car into drive, and starting to drive home. Wooyoung leans into the headrest, head tilted towards the window, watching the passing scenery with calming breaths. Once he was able to, San reached his hand across the center and gently held onto Wooyoung's thigh. Wooyoung looks down, reaching his own hand beneath San's grasp, tangling his fingers with his own, pulling their entangled grasp towards his lips as he presses two kisses to San's knuckles. San runs his thumb along the side of Wooyoung's hand, feeling the younger gently set their hold down onto his lap. Wooyoung is quiet the entire ride home, and San doesn't pry. He focuses on driving, holding Wooyoung's hand a little tighter, worried about what could've caused him so much panic so suddenly.

"I'm gonna go lay down." Wooyoung says quietly the moment they walk into their apartment, kicking off his shoes and striding towards the bedroom.

"Do you want time to think about it?" San asks, closing the door behind him.

"Yeah. I just don't want to talk about any of it right now." Wooyoung smiles at him weakly, padding into the bedroom without another word. San knows that Wooyoung wanted his space right now, but he couldn't help the ache that builds in his chest just knowing that his boyfriend was hurting. To distract himself, he decides to exit the apartment again quietly, pulling out his phone, heading towards the staircase. There was only one person he wanted to talk to right now, someone who would likely understand the situation better than he might.

"Hey, San'ah. What's up?"

"Yunho'ah, I need your advice about something."

"Mhm, sounds serious. What happened?"

San rounds the landing of the stairs, heading down the final set. "Well, Wooyoung and I were looking at apartments today like I told you, and everyone we saw, he just got more and more upset for some reason. After the third one, he ran out on me in tears."

"Oh? Did he give you a reason as to why?"

"No. That's what I need advice about. He just ran off and was crying so much that it must've been something about the apartments or something that I did, I just don't know."

"Ah, well San'ah, you know he is sensitive to a lot of things. He's just always been like that. D'you remember when he cried after not being able to play basketball his junior year?"

"I do remember that. I spent a lot of time cheering him up after that. But, that was like, ten years ago or something, why's that important?"

"He's easily hurt by things that change. He cried that he couldn't play basketball with us again because of his shitty parents. Remember how closed off he was after you guys kissed for the first time?"

"Yeah. I hated seeing him like that." San finally exits the apartment complex after lingering in the lobby area, stepping outside and off to the side of the main doors, leaning against the wall. "This doesn't feel like that, though. It feels like it's hurting him worse."

"Did you ever stop to think about how this could be affecting him? There's a lot of memories in that apartment, San'ah. You guys have lived there as a trio for a long time. There's been a lot of change in the last couple of months and he might be struggling to keep up."

"He did mention to me that he was afraid of leaving this apartment."

"Exactly. Think about it. You guys went from best friends to boyfriends so suddenly because there was a change in your dynamic. Seonghwa is now moving out and moving in with Hongjoong, Yeosang moved away and into an apartment with Jongho, and he changed jobs really quickly to keep himself afloat. I'm sure there's other changes too, I'm just not the one dating him. You'd know better than I would."

"His sobriety is the biggest thing." San chews on his bottom lip. "That's what has been messing with him the most."

"Ah, right. Does it make sense though? Do you get what I mean?"

"I do. Change doesn't affect me like that, so I guess I was blind to seeing that. Part of me thought that he'd get over it within a couple of days like he did with everything else."

"He hides a lot of his emotions. He's always done it. I can't tell you the last time he's opened up to me about anything."

"That's because he only really tells me what's going on. And Yeosang too, probably."

"Just give him some time. It might've just been too much too fast. How long does your lease have?"

"A couple of weeks. If that, I don't remember."

"Let him decompress for the day. You guys don't have to figure it out right now. But ask him, when he's ready to talk, ask him if the pace you guys are moving at is okay. If he's uncomfortable and needs something to stay the same, I would suggest signing onto your lease for another few months."

"God. . . okay." San sighs. "Thank you for opening my eyes, Yunho."

"It's what I'm here for, Sannie. But hey, I gotta get back to work. Please text me if you need anything, alright?"

"Yeah, of course. See you."

San hangs up the call and breathes deeply, looking at his surroundings with guilt pooling in his stomach. He wasn't completely blind to the changes in Wooyoung's life, but he didn't realize how much everything had impacted his stability.

Wooyoung was always anxious, always worrying; patiently waiting for his life to crumble into pieces. San tried to be there in every instance that he could, comforting him into feeling like the world wasn't going to break beneath him. Yeah, their relationship had started on shaky grounds with the start of Wooyoung's journey to sobriety, but if anything, San felt that that made their bond stronger.

In a moment of weakness, San decides to take a walk. His mind was a bit fuzzy with a thousand emotions demanding to be felt at once, so he deems it appropriate to take a short walk in order to clear his mind. He assumed Wooyoung was just going to lay in bed and would call him if he needed anything, so he just kept walking, trying to feel everything that demanded to be felt.

Thirty minutes later, San's phone starts buzzing in his pocket.

Wooyoung ♡

Where'd you go?

San sighs, turning to look at his surroundings, assuming he was nearly ten minutes away from the apartment.

I went for a walk.

Wooyoung ♡

Did I do something?

No, of course not. I just needed to think.

I'm coming back right now.

Wooyoung ♡

Hurry up and come cuddle me.

Idiot.

I'll be there soon.

Idiot. ♡

San smiles at the text messages, putting his phone into his pocket before walking a little quicker towards the apartment, hopeful that Wooyoung was feeling a bit better.

"Young'ah?" San says as he enters the apartment, locking the door behind him. Wooyoung appears around the corner from the bedroom, hair tied back, bangs gently falling around the sides of his face. San kicks off his shoes and walks towards him, watching as Wooyoung comes around the corner fully, extending his arms out as he silently asks for a hug. San complies, (as if he would ever deny his partner), embracing him in a warm hug.

"I'm sorry." Wooyoung mumbles sadly. "I didn't expect to react like that."

"You don't have to apologize to me." San leans away from the hug, pressing a kiss on Wooyoung's forehead. "Are you ready to talk about it?"

"Mhm." Wooyoung pouts slightly, grabbing San's hand as he strolls over to the couch, leading him with a long sigh. "I didn't think that looking at new apartments would be so triggering to me. I was excited to see them, but, the more I looked at them, the more regret I felt."

"I could see it on your face." San sits down next to him as Wooyoung leaned against the arm of the couch, slinging his legs across San's lap. San lets Wooyoung tug one of his hands onto his lap, fingers toying with his own as an act of comfort.

"I guess it was the thought of imagining us anywhere but where we are now. There's a lot of emotions to pack up with me if we leave this place. I can handle Seonghwa moving out and everything, but I just. . . I don't know. The thought of leaving behind the memories of what happened this summer just scares me a bit."

"You don't have to leave them behind, Woo. You can carry them with you wherever you go."

"But that's the thing-" Wooyoung sighs. "Carrying them like that is heavy. And I'm tired. There's negative memories like dealing with my depression in this apartment when I was struggling to get sober or when I lost my job. But then there's the happy moments, like when I realized how much I loved you. I fell in love with you in this apartment, Sannie, I just can't detach myself from it. Maybe I'm harboring too much of myself here, I dunno. I can't just let all of this go."

"I called Yunho while I went on a walk." San says quietly. "He reminded me of something about you that I hadn't realized for awhile."

"What's that?"

"I forgot how sensitive you were to change. I noticed it a lot in high school, but a lot more recently. Everything about your life had changed in the matter of like two months. Did you notice that?"

"In the back of my mind, yeah. I did."

"I think that's got something to do with it. There were a lot of negative things happening at once. Our dynamic changed so fast and with your drinking, I think it was a bad mixture. Your job was shitty, your financial health wasn't great either, not to mention I think you were just dealing with a lot before you were trying to get sober, Young'ah."

"Maybe." Wooyoung continues to mess with San's hand, running lines along his palm. "You're right though. . . about the stress of it all. I don't think I realized how much was happening until it all calmed down."

"Do you remember how it all felt?"

"I-" Wooyoung sighs. San could tell that he was trying to not hold back, but there was lingering hesitance within his tone. "It was like my entire world was falling apart."

"I know." San assures, watching him fondly. "It wasn't easy on you."

Wooyoung shakes his head. "It wasn't. But, I came out the otherside with you. It was a lot at once, and I wish I could've done some things differently, but if it meant that I'd end up with you every time, I'd do it again."

"I'm not worth that, Wooyoung. You didn't deserve what you went through."

"You're everything to me, Sannie. D'you remember that? When you said that to me too?"

"Of course I do." San flashes a smile at him, eyes drifting down to their hands. "Because I told you that I loved you after that."

"When you said that. . . you changed my outlook on what I wanted in life."

"How so?"

"I went from being in denial to thinking it was unrequited and that you hated me for kissing you when I was a drunken mess, to realizing that I loved you more than I've loved anyone else. What did you say? Woosan? Or something?"

"I did say that," San chuckles, watching Wooyoung slightly smile.

"Well, it's exactly that. You pulled me from the brink of no return. I know I ran away because I had to deal with some demons then too, but I think I'm still fighting some of them. I want to move with you, San'ah. I want to live with you and you alone, but I'm just a bit worried. Maybe scared too, I don't know." Wooyoung is silent for a second, hands suddenly falling still. "I think there's a part of me that is stuck on the idea of you leaving me because it won't work out."

"Woo-"

"No, just-. . . hear me out for a second." Wooyoung swallows his incoming tears, hand clinging onto San's. "We've lived in this apartment for a long time. We have a routine here and our relationship is strong here. There's no worry and there's no arguing, there's just us. What if that changes? What if the new apartment doesn't have enough space and you get sick of me? What if our dynamic changes again and you don't want me anymore? What if-"

"Hey, hey, hey." San could see the tears threatening to spill over the more Wooyoung talked, anxiety speaking for him, blurring his vision and clouding his mind. "Breathe."

Wooyoung shoots a glance at him, blinking away his tears, taking one long breath.

"Okay, first of all, our dynamic here works because I love you, and you love me. That's gonna work no matter where we go. Secondly, you moved into my room the day after we got together, Young'ah, space just isn't an option anymore. I don't care if you cling onto me like a koala, I'm never going to get sick of you. Lastly, I'm with you because I don't want a life without you in it. I want to move somewhere with you because I want us to take another step forward. But, if it's too much, then tell me. We don't have to move forward if you don't want to. I can wait for you to be ready for that."

"I don't want you to wait because I'm afraid, San'ah."

"I waited to tell you that I loved you for a long time. I can wait for you to want to move somewhere new because I already have you here with me. I'm not afraid of waiting for you, Wooyoung."

"Okay." Wooyoung breathes, nodding his head slightly. "Can I think about it? For a little bit?"

"Of course." San leans closer to him, eyes lulled. "Take your time."

Wooyoung smiles at him, leaning forward, hand wrapping around the back of San's neck. He kisses him chastely, leaning away, hand falling back to his lap. "Thank you."

"I love you. Don't forget that, okay?"

Wooyoung nods, head slightly tilting, tears finally dry. "I love you, too."