There is a lot of mentions of relapsing, unrequited feelings, anxiety/mental health, and a lot of angst and confrontation. Please do not read any further if these topics are sensitive to you.

⸻✧ ༺ ∞ ༻ ✧⸻

I promise.

A selfish manner of speaking just for the sake of holding someone accountable. Wooyoung hates promises, but only because he knows that promises were meant to be broken. He didn't want to lie to San any more, nor did he want to hurt him any longer. Wooyoung could sense the pain radiating off of him, he could see the sadness laced in his russet hues, but he could also hear the monotone depth to his voice that remained reserved and uneasy.

It was never his intention to hurt his partner like this. The last thing he ever imagined doing was leaving like this, even if it was just for a brisk walk into town. He had brushed his hands through his hair and tied it back, folding his arms to his chest as he walked out of the home and up the driveway, turning left and down the sidewalk, allowing every pressing thought to come and demand to be felt.

Wooyoung had spent years managing his anxiety alone, and even still with a proper management system and supportive friends, he finds himself struggling to be honest. The real reason behind hiding alcohol in his closet was incomprehensible. It didn't make any sense to anyone, not even himself, yet he did it anyway. There was a sliver of hope threaded through his aching heart, waiting to use the bottle of soju as a safety net, catching him if he dared to fall any further than he ever has before.

Surely with a sip, a small taste, he could bounce back and settle into normal habits again, only to avoid sinking into the pits of hell. But he was wrong. So, so incredibly wrong. He didn't anticipate this to happen, nor did he account for it. As someone with anxiety, Wooyoung had always thought through everything with meticulous intent, struggling to live without worry. This was no different. Every single outcome, every instance he could foresee himself struggling through was always met with the ultimatum of healthily coping until he couldn't anymore.

He had San and his friends, he had his books and he had his job; all things placed into life to serve as a mere distraction from something darker that he was avoiding. A sinking, lingering feeling of judgment. There was no coming back from this unscathed and he knew that, he just really had hoped that it would never come to this.

The breeze is warm as Wooyoung walks, twirling through his messy hair and down the sill of his spine, bringing a slight comfort to ease over his skin as he lets the quiet pull of nature make him numb. He didn't know where he was going, walking aimlessly, hands nearly glued to his sides as he thought through the night, wondering why he let himself spiral out of control.

He was anxious, though he didn't really understand why. That was possibly part of the problem, but he had also told himself that he was going to have one drink. One drink turned into two, then three and then five or six. He downed nearly half of a bottle of vodka on his own, but he never realized how inebriated he was until he was dancing around with Yeosang and Seonghwa, feeling his world tilt on its axis and his head begin to spin.

More memories flood his core, thinking about Yeosang's honest talk about Jongho and Yeonjun's apology. Though, bits and pieces of the night are somewhat fuzzy. He was just thankful that he could remember finding San and being dragged into bed with the intent of having sex with San, but the elder turned him down. It was for the best, and after finding out about his boyfriend's sudden relapse, Wooyoung realizes there was nothing worse to ruin the mood than that.

His world was truly crumbling, piece by piece, struggling to stay connected no matter how hard Wooyoung had tried. He had no job, his housing arrangements were changing, his dynamic with San was shifting into something deeper and all of his friends were moving further away; Wooyoung needed it all to stop. If just for a moment, a split second of time just so Wooyoung could allow his lungs to expand for an intake of calming air, a rush of relief or something to settle into his core. Anxiety felt like a heavy burden one carried around in a never ending battle, holding what felt like the weight of the world on one's shoulders. Wooyoung didn't want to lose the battle, nor the war of all of this, trying to fight back and hold his head above the water. Yet, every sin and every bad thing he's ever done or thought of grabs him by his ankles and drags him below the surface, clawing into his skin like a ravenous demon. His anxiety was a leech, sucking the life out of him and depriving him of a soul, holding him by the throat to make sure he could barely live to breathe easily.

Wooyoung would do almost anything to rid himself of this terrible anxiety, especially if his mental health was going to cost him everything.

Before he knows it, he stumbles across the first parts of town. Shops come into view with nearly empty parking spaces lining the street, people beginning to crawl out from their homes and start their day. Wooyoung knew he looked like a walking disaster, but that's the last thing he cares about right now. His stomach begins to growl tantalizingly, leading his mind towards the idea of sitting down in some quiet cafe to drown out the rest of his anxious thoughts, which sounded incredibly inviting.

So, he continues wandering, glancing at signs and peeking into the windows of storefronts, walking past a pet store and a small convenience store, nearly stopping inside just to have a bowl of instant ramen. But he treks on, eventually coming across a corner cafe that he enters into without hesitation. He was thankful that he had enough common sense to grab his wallet and his phone before leaving, almost laughing in remembrance as he thinks back to leaving the apartment with only a couple of dollars in his pocket. What a stupid idea that was.

Wooyoung adjusts his hair slightly, brushing strands out of his face and smoothing out his shirt as he approaches the counter, smiling weakly at the girl working there. He orders an iced coffee and some sort of pastry, which would be more than enough to fill the empty pit within his stomach and act as some sort of band-aid towards his growing migraine.

A minute later, Wooyoung walks to a seat in the corner of the cafe, elbows leaning on the table as he sets his phone down, glancing at his warm pastry and his freshly brewed coffee. His hands find his face, overwhelmed by everything all of the sudden. He hated that he was here alone and not sharing the day with San. He hated that he had to try and enjoy this cute cafe and this food by himself, alone and in a loop of pity. He wills himself to calm down, pulling his hands away from his face, clearing his throat and beginning to pull a piece off of his sugary pastry.

He knows that he can't avoid the looming conversation that awaited back at the beach house. As much as he wants to tell San an apology a million times and just choose to ignore everything he had done, San deserved to explain his own feelings and to be heard, only because he had offered the same peace to Wooyoung more times than he can count. San deserved understanding and patience just as much as he did, and Wooyoung would give anything to San, even if it meant hurting his heart momentarily.

There was the absurd idea of their separation sitting in a juncture in the back of Wooyoung's mind, but their relationship was stronger than that. Wooyoung knew that their love could withstand any weather, any turmoil and any argument, simply because one could not live without the other. San was everything Wooyoung had wanted in a partner and then some. So, the thought of living a life devoid of San's presence felt like trying to live without being able to breathe.

Their love was all consuming, a near raging wildfire, burning so brightly and fiercely. Wooyoung hoped that San still loved him dearly, thinking back to how the male had said nearly nothing this morning when they had spoken. There was a tense silence hanging between them after they had kissed for the last time, and Wooyoung, in a desperate plea to make his partner understand, promised to come back. He wasn't going to leave and abandon his safe place, not when he needed him more than he ever had. But he didn't want to have a conversation when he was so emotionally inept.

He finishes eating his pastry and takes a few sips of his coffee, staring out of the large paned windows next to him, watching the sun caress the small town's buildings in a warm, rising light. A flash passes by Wooyoung's eyes, a memory of an ice cream shop present before his mind. He's sulking, sitting in the passenger seat dejectedly. His friends are laughing, none the wiser, piling into the small shop before splitting off into pairs and piling into booths, eating their ice cream with smiles curled. It was eerie to Wooyoung that he had almost felt the same type of resentment for himself now as he did then, even though the circumstances were entirely different. Then, he was afraid of why he had kissed San, wondering why San pretended to not remember their fleeting, feverish moment. Now, months into a relationship with San, he remains upset with himself, but because he had lied. He lied to the one person he was supposed to trust more than anyone else, confiding his feelings with alcohol until he was too numb to think.

This was all too much. All of these thoughts and feelings; all of this dread. Wooyoung wants to be in San's arms and to be held, but his legs won't move. He's stuck, eyes glued to the buildings outside, listening to his heart thump against his chest. Now, all he wants is San.

He grabs his coffee before getting out of his seat, cleaning up his mess and tossing it into a bin before he leaves, walking back down the same path he had wandered down barely fifthteen minutes ago. The sun was incredibly warm on his skin, caressing the curves and dips of his face, warming his chest and collarbones that just barely peak above the collar of his low-hanging shirt.

The walk is quiet again, left with no raging thoughts and no hesitance, eyes immediately shifting towards the beach house as it comes into view. He takes a breath as he turns down the sandy driveway, allowing himself to settle fully before pushing the door open by its handle.

Wooyoung takes off his shoes once he's inside, coffee still in hand and mostly empty, heart frenzied by the subtle rush of caffeine. No one was home, or at least it seemed like no one was. The living space had been cleaned meticulously, which led Wooyoung to believe that Seonghwa had been present at one point, given how spotless everything seemed. The living space was empty, the kitchen too, but Wooyoung still had no idea where San was.

"San'ah?" Wooyoung asks quite loudly, searching the space and peering down the hallway, catching a glimpse of his bedroom door slightly ajar. He moves further into the home and down the hall, hand gently pushing his bedroom door open. There San was, still on the bed, laying down with the covers pulled over his torso. Wooyoung had been gone barely an hour, but he knew that San had really felt that hour spent alone. Wooyoung knew he would've too.

"Sannie." Wooyoung says softly, approaching the bed and setting his coffee cup down on the nightstand.

"Hm?" San grumbles quietly, turning over onto his back, rubbing at his eyes.

"I came back." Wooyoung mutters gently, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"I missed you." San says sleepily, adjusting himself so he could sit upright.

"I'm sorry I left you again. I promise that I won't do that anymore." Wooyoung glances down at his hands, a rush of regret sinking into his pores. "I needed to think it through and feel it all. I don't mean to push you away and abandon you like that. It's rash and careless-"

"Stop." San reaches forward and grabs onto Wooyoung's hands, entrapping them within his own. "You don't have to explain it to me. It's okay to need space sometimes."

"But not from you." Wooyoung sighs sadly, blinking back his tears. "I don't ever want to push you away."

"Baby, you're not pushing me away. You're doing your best to handle all of your thoughts and your feelings, which might seem selfish to you, but I don't see it like that."

"How do you not hate me right now?" Wooyoung looks up to meet San's gaze, hands stilling within San's hold. "How could you not resent me for lying and drinking behind your back?"

"I'm not mad at you." San firmly states, a certain softness lingering in his eyes. "I'm upset, yeah, but I only want to understand why you did it. Yelling and fighting about it isn't going to get us anywhere. I want to take steps forward with you, not steps backwards."

"I keep ruining everything." Wooyoung sighs, looking up to blink away more tears. "It shouldn't be this hard to be in a relationship with someone."

"Wooyoung-" San tries to pull the male closer, but Wooyoung resists.

"No, San. Be mad at me. Please be upset with me because I'm fucking upset with me. None of this is okay! There's no part of what I did that should be understandable or forgiven. You don't deserve any of my bullshit and I'm dragging us through hell because I can't fucking control myself."

"Stop." San pleads quietly, gripping onto Wooyoung's hands. "My heart can't take it when you talk like that."

"I deserve every bit of your anger right now." Wooyoung sounds adamant, even if he felt some sort of relief in knowing that San wasn't mad at him. "I fucking lied to you Sannie. Do you not get that? Do you not see that?"

"No, I know you did." San nods sadly, thumbs smoothing over Wooyoung's knuckles. "I'm just choosing to forgive you for it."

"You don't even understand why I did any of it though. You're forgiving me without even knowing the whole story-"

"Then make me understand." San presses, nearly pleading. "We have all of the time in the universe right now. It's just you and me here. I will sit and listen to you talk until you feel like you've talked enough. Just, please. Make me understand."

"Okay." Wooyoung adjusts the way he's sitting slightly, pulling his legs onto the bed and sitting cross-legged, still holding onto San's hands. "Where do you want me to start?"

"From the beginning. Tell me everything."

"When I decided to stop drinking, I was struggling to cope with all of it. Not having a job and being alone most of the time in the apartment really affected me mentally. In the midst of it all, on one day in particular, I was having a hard time sleeping. You were at class and Seonghwa was at work, so I was alone. I was really depressed and- I just remember thinking something horrible. . . and I just snapped. I felt like I was possessed or something because I barely had any control of myself afterwards." Wooyoung takes a breath, gauging San's expression before continuing. "I knew I had a safety blanket in my old room. I kept bottles of soju in my closet for when I couldn't sleep in my bed, using that to drift off to sleep so I could show up to work on time. I went in there that day and opened the closet door and even held the bottle in my hands. I was crying and I couldn't fucking stop crying. I felt like the world was coming down on me and I couldn't get rid of the weight on my chest. But, then you called me. I don't know if you remember that or not, but I answered the phone crying and you immediately came home."

"So if I hadn't called you. . . would you have drank from that bottle then?"

"Probably. I don't know for sure since it didn't happen, but since then, I never had the urge to pull that bottle off of my closet shelf again."

"So what changed this time? Why did you drink instead of calling me or Seonghwa?"

"It was after I got laid off." Wooyoung says timidly, gaze avoiding. "Seonghwa had just left and I thought I could handle the pressure of change sitting over me, but I panicked. I don't think I could've avoided that anxiety attack even if I tried."

"So that's why you had that meltdown? That's why you were crying when I came home?"

Wooyoung nods dejectedly. "I went to that closet and pulled the bottle off of the shelf, and I drank the whole damn thing. If I would've waited just a little while longer, if I would've called Yeosang or called Yunho, then maybe I wouldn't have done it. But I tried calling you and you didn't answer and I was scared of my mind and what it was saying to me-"

Wooyoung's breath hitches, a tear finally escaping to curl down his cheek, voice slightly shaky. "I didn't know what else to do."

"You've kept drinking since then?" San's voice is calm and soft, something Wooyoung feels he doesn't deserve, but is ultimately thankful for.

"Not obsessively. Just enough to subside the urge and calm myself down. There was no rhyme or reason to it, I was just drinking whenever the thoughts were too much."

"So. . . what happened last night?"

"I snuck a bottle of fireball into the bathroom and I downed it." Wooyoung rolls his eyes at himself, sniffling as more tears fall. "I ended up drinking half of a bottle of vodka on top of that, too."

"Jagi-" San hushes, heart visibly breaking. Wooyoung looks up in time to see two tears speed down San's cheeks and under his jaw, which in turn, also begins to break his own heart. "I'm sorry you went through all of that alone."

"I did it to myself." Wooyoung half-heartedly admits with a shrug. "I understand if you want to leave me and whatever. I'd leave me too."

Suddenly, San pulls Wooyoung by his wrists and hands, colliding their chests together in a tight embrace. Wooyoung's eyes are wide in surprise as San wraps his arms around him, engulfing them both into a warm hug. Wooyoung timidly hugs him back, unsure of the intention behind it, but it felt comforting nonetheless. "I'm never going to leave you. You're mine, and I'm yours. That's a promise."

Wooyoung was crying as if he'd just lost everything and everyone. It fucking hurt. The weight on his chest dissipates into nothing as the tears carry the weight of his burdens out of him, setting his lungs free of the pressure on his body. Wooyoung's tears soak into San's black tee, face buried in the crook of his neck, body shaking with every single hitched breath and every cry. San can't help but cry too, gently rocking their embraced bodies back and forth, cooing quiet words in Wooyoung's ears as he waits for the younger to calm down.

He had been holding onto a lot, San realizes, more than he'd ever realized. San could never imagine holding onto that much grief and that much pain, letting it slowly eat away at your insides until you felt purely numb. Wooyoung was struggling everyday, and San felt immensely guilty for not seeing any of this sooner. He wanted to share Wooyoung's burdens and to feel his pain; he just wanted to empathize so he could help him.

"I'm so sorry you were hurting." San mutters, holding him tighter. "I'm so fucking sorry."

"It's not your fault, none of it is." Wooyoung admits, but San still felt partially responsible.

A long silence spent hugging one another passes, and Wooyoung can't bring himself to break away from San like this. He was content, cries subsiding the longer he sat there, listening to San gently coddle him and continue to rock them back and forth in subtle movements.

"Sannie?" Wooyoung asks, voice nearly muffled by San's neck and t-shirt.

"Yeah?"

"Can you look at me? Please?"

San leans away carefully, hands resting on Wooyoung's arms as he does so, eyes immediately searching Wooyoung's saddened gaze.

"I'm really sorry." Wooyoung's eyes drop away, staring down into the bed. "I wish I could tell you in words how sorry I really am."

"I know." San reaches a hand towards Wooyoung's chin, tilting his head back upright, leaning forward slightly. "I forgive you. We will work through all of this, one step at a time. No more hiding things, okay?"

Wooyoung nods. "Mhm."

"I love you." San watches as Wooyoung's slightly quivering lips curl into a shaky smile, tears threatening to fall again. "Jagi. Don't cry anymore, please."

"I'm sorry." Wooyoung inhales calmly, tightening his jaw. "I was scared that you wouldn't love me anymore when you found out about all of this."

"Not a chance." San lets go of Wooyoung's chin, leaning as close as he could manage, pressing gentle kisses against the male's cheek and jaw, moving towards the edge of his lips. "I love you with every part of me, and that's never going to change."

Wooyoung chases after San's lips, pressing a hesitant kiss to the elder's lips gently. "I love you most. Thank you for being patient with me."

"We're in this together." San kisses him, deeper this time, making sure to keep the kisses chaste to not entice himself to deepen the connection any further. Wooyoung sighs contently, a glimmer of hope and happiness laced into his eyes. "Young'ah?"

"Hm?" Wooyoung kisses San again, pulling away momentarily to breathe.

"Are you hungry?"

"A bit." Wooyoung tilts his head slightly. "Why?"

"Let me order food. We can go sit down on the couch and watch a movie, eat our food and just laze around for the day. How does that sound?"

"Sounds heavenly." Wooyoung smiles subtly, leaning forward enough to rest his forehead against San's.

"Let me take care of you, okay?"

"Mhm."

Thirty minutes later, Wooyoung found himself curled up on the couch with a navy blanket tossed over his legs, eyes boring into the television as Spider-Man played on the screen ahead of him. San was in the kitchen grabbing utensils and napkins for their breakfast they had ordered in, carrying different items back towards the couch over three times. Wooyoung had pulled the coffee table closer, inspecting his food momentarily before leaning back into the couch, patiently waiting for San to settle in so they could eat together.

After two more trips, San finally sits down on the couch next to Wooyoung, eyes immediately flicking towards the television as the movie continues to play ahead of them. Wooyoung reaches for his food, crossing his legs to settle the to-go container in his lap, picking through his selection of meats and eggs, along with some other sides he hadn't paid much attention to. San ordered the same thing, deeming the meal a hangover cure.

They eat in comfortable silence, watching the movie, knees touching, bodies almost flush against one another. San didn't mind the closeness and figured that Wooyoung craved it right now, an unspoken gesture of intimacy that San wouldn't refuse.

After they finish eating, San reaches for Wooyoung's empty container, setting it inside of his own and holding their utensils in one hand, rising off of the couch to dump the containers into the bin and setting their utensils in the empty sink. San returns a moment later, settling down into his spot again, opening his arm as Wooyoung leans into him without hesitance. San kisses his head twice, hand smoothing over the skin on Wooyoung's arm as he holds the younger closely, trying to do whatever he could to reassure that he wasn't ever going to abandon him.

The front door opens suddenly, but neither male bothers to sit up to check to see who it was, completely focused on one another and the movie. They could tell who it was simply by their voices, anyway.

"I'm gonna go shower." Jongho mutters, footsteps trailing further away as he disappears into the hall.

"Woosan?" Yeosang asks, taking off his shoes before approaching the sofa.

"Hi, Yeo." San turns his head to look at his friend, smiling at him. "Did you guys go for a run?"

"Yeah. We found a running trail not too far from here, but my god it was exhausting." Yeosang smiles at himself for a second before his gaze searches the television, watching the movie for a moment before he continues talking. "You guys alright?"

"We're okay." San affirms, hand still smoothing small shapes along Wooyoung's arm. "We chose to hang back for the day instead of going out. I was asleep when everyone else left, so I'm not sure when anyone will be back."

"Ah," Yeosang nods, glancing at Wooyoung then glancing at San, very obviously wanting to ask questions about why his normally flirty and bubbly best friend was suddenly dead to the world. San's jaw tightens, staring at Yeosang wordlessly; pleading with everything he could within his expression in hopes that the elder would just simply drop it. Thankfully, he does. "Do you guys mind if I use your shower?"

"Nah, go ahead."

"Thanks, Sannie." Yeosang smiles before turning on his heel, walking towards the hallway. San takes in a slow breath, turning his focus back onto the television, leaning his head against Wooyoung's.

"Do you think they're doing better?" Wooyoung mumbles, hand reaching for San's and pulling it into his grasp.

"Who? Jongho and Yeosang?"

"Mhm."

"I mean. . . they sounded amicable. We could probably ask Yeosang later."

"I've been worried about him." Wooyoung breathes quietly, a slight huff rolling off of his tongue. "He told me last night that he loved Jongho."

"Did he really?"

"Yeah." Wooyoung slightly smiles. "I hope they figure it out."

"They will." San kisses the side of Wooyoung's head. "Just like we did. We'll all be okay."

Wooyoung makes a content noise, leaning closer into San (if he could manage it). San hums and smiles into his hair, finding relief in knowing that his reassurance was finally reaching Wooyoung and not shooting over his head.

As the movie reaches its ending, Wooyoung grabs the remote, handing it off to San tiredly. "Pick something."

"What're you in the mood for?" San asks curiously, taking the remote from him.

"Anything." Wooyoung says quietly. "I just wanna stay with you."

"I'm not gonna leave you." San wraps his arm around Wooyoung tighter. "You have me forever."

"Good." Wooyoung sighs happily. "'Cus I'm gonna want you forever."

San hums as he presses a few buttons on the remote, scrolling through the application on the television, looking for a movie title that would grab his attention. Impatiently, Wooyoung turns around to face San, eyes glazed over, intention lingering in his gaze. San is completely oblivious for the time being, eyes nearly glued to the television as Wooyoung shuffles around and ends up straddling his lap, pushing his face into the crook of his neck. San welcomes the hug, wrapping an arm around Wooyoung's lower back, dragging soothing lines along his spine as he continues to scroll on the television aimlessly.

San wasn't completely sure about how their talk would've ended, but he hadn't been expecting this. He had prayed internally for a good outcome, one that was something similar to this, but he couldn't help and wonder if Wooyoung was going to insist on going home or something worse.

Of course, San is immensely grateful for this outcome. He would continue to reassure Wooyoung for as long as he needed and deal with his own senses of disappointment and broken trust so that Wooyoung could peacefully heal from all of this. He could take care of himself, especially if Wooyoung needed him more than anything else. He swore to love him, cherish him, and continue to be there for him, and San was not one to break a promise.

Wooyoung shifts slightly in his lap, arms wrapped around the elder's neck, nosing into his skin, breathing him in contently. San presses a few more buttons on the television before picking a random film, tossing the remote away to wrap his other arm around Wooyoung.

The front door suddenly slams shut and Mingi walks past the living room and the kitchen, heading straight for the sliding back door. Wooyoung raises his head to watch the entire thing, blinking in a confused stare as Mingi walks outside and closes the door behind him.

"Oh shit." Wooyoung mutters, gaze moving over to Yunho as he walks inside, looking completely dejected. "Yunho'ah?"

San turned around as much as he was able, spotting Yunho. His heart drops instantly. Yunho had been crying again, face red and slightly puffy, eyes leaking tears. Wooyoung moves and gets off of San's lap, striding towards the front door where Yunho stood waiting, head tilting down as an uncontrollable sob pushes through his lips.

"Yunho-" Wooyoung frowns as he wraps the elder into a hug, holding him tightly, listening to Yunho fall apart in his arms. San also walks over, adding onto the hug, running his hand down Yunho's back soothingly, unsure of how to make him feel better when he knew next to nothing about what was going on.

"Can I talk to the both of you?" Yunho shakily asks. "Please?"

"Yeah, yeah. Do you want to talk here, or do you want to go somewhere private?" San asks quietly, watching Yunho lean away from Wooyoung's hug. Yunho was a bit calmer than before, cries softening, tears beginning to dry, but Wooyoung could still see the pain within his eyes.

"We can talk here. He's all pissed off so he's not going to come back inside any time soon."

"Okay, come sit." Wooyoung motions towards the couch, leading both males back to the sofa. Yunho plops down in the middle, watching Wooyoung turn the television off and set the remote aside, sitting down to Yunho's right. San sits down too, eyes laced with obvious concern. Yunho is quiet for several moments, hands nervously fidgeting with one another before he takes a hesitant breath.

"So," Yunho starts nervously, brows pinching. "Mingi and I slept together almost two months ago."

Wooyoung and San both say next to nothing, but the shock covering their expression seemed to be all of the unsaid words they needed to express just how confused they truly were.

"We were both drunk and we had sat down on the couch to watch a movie, and one thing led to another, and I woke up in Mingi's bed. We both knew what had happened and we decided not to talk about it. But. . . Mingi forgot that he invited his girlfriend over and when she came to the apartment, he was in his boxers and I was riddled in hickeys, so she knew right away."

"Hyeon, right?" San asks quietly. Yunho nods.

"She was pissed. They had a screaming match and argued for over an hour, but Mingi kept telling her that it meant nothing. He was so adamant that it meant nothing. She said something around the lines of 'I knew you loved him more than me' or something stupid like that, and he kept denying it."

"So is that the real reason why they broke up?" Wooyoung asks, remembering back to Mingi expressing how Hyeon simply didn't want to come to their party, when in reality, her boyfriend had just cheated on her with his best friend, who was also his roommate.

"She ended up leaving and claimed that she'd call him later so they could talk about it again, but she texted him later that night by saying I'm done. Mingi replied over and over again, but she never responded. That's also why we showed up early to your apartment. Mingi wanted to be around the group, but also to not think about Hyeon anymore. I didn't expect for him to go off the rails when he ended up drinking, so I drank with him but tried to stay sober enough to watch over him. When we got back home. . . he kissed me."

"No." Wooyoung's eyes widened. "Why? Why would he do that? Why would you do that?"

"For a long time I thought Mingi was nothing more than my best friend. He's always been at my side and I can't imagine living without him. These feelings for him stemmed from nothing. I expected what I was feeling to go away and to just vanish into nothing, but. . . it got harder to ignore." Yunho continues to remain composed, even if his voice sounded monotone and upset.

"I can imagine." San mumbles, glancing at Wooyoung for a moment.

"So, you know me. When something is wrong, I feel the need to confront the problem head-on instead of avoiding it. I sat Mingi down maybe a week later and told him what was wrong. He listened to me the entire time and let me talk it out, but he told me that he didn't feel the same. To avoid a long explanation, he wasn't in the place for a relationship after breaking up with Hyeon. He claimed that everything that had happened was a drunken mistake and that he wasn't capable of liking me like that, so I decided to let it go. I tried to not let it ruin our friendship and I just tried to move on, but I made it harder for myself."

"Yunho," Wooyoung frowns, resting his hand on the elder's knee. "I'm sorry."

"When we got here, we obviously got drunk and we kissed again as a dare. I didn't want to kiss him, but he kissed me anyway. Ni-ki and Sunghoon were laughing as if it also meant nothing, but to me it meant everything. It broke my heart to hear Mingi act like it wouldn't affect me and that there'd be no repercussions, so I walked away from him and sat on the beach. He tried calling me back and was half-ass drunkenly apologizing, but I didn't care. Being alone seemed a lot better than sitting with someone who thinks that your feelings mean absolutely nothing."

"You're everything to him, Yunho." San tries to reassure. "I don't know why he's acting like such an ass."

"He's probably scared." Wooyoung interrupts timidly. "I know I was. I slept with San and then ran away because of how confused I was."

"I don't care. My feelings for him are strong, and I hate that they are. I thought that going surfing with him would provide us the chance to talk about everything, but he kept dismissing me. He wouldn't listen to how I felt and kept ignoring me. He's never acted like this to me before, so I yelled at him when we got back into the car. I took his keys from him and refused to let him start the car unless he sat there and told me why he was treating me so differently. He claimed that he wasn't, so I yelled at him again."

"What'd he say?" Wooyoung asks, watching Yunho's gaze move towards his own before focusing on the floor before him again.

"He told me that my feelings were pointless and that I needed to let them go."

"He's hiding something." San leans back into the couch, stirring Yunho's attention towards him. "Mingi isn't usually so secretive, and he would never talk to you like that."

"Yeah, I agree with Sannie." Wooyoung chimes in quietly, thumb brushing against Yunho's knee. "There's more to this, Yunho. Mingi is hiding something."

"I've tried to talk to him." Yunho sighs, wiping away whatever tears remained. "If he is hiding something, he isn't going to tell me."

"I can ask him." San suggests, staying quiet for a moment as he tries to gauge both male's reactions to the offer. No one says anything. "Only if that's okay with you, Yunho. I don't want to meddle in your affairs if you don't want me to."

"No, no-" Yunho takes a breath. "I don't really mind that much actually. I think I'd prefer to know rather than not know. I do have to fucking live with him after all of this, anyway."

"Right. I can talk to him now, or I can wait until he's calmed down a bit?"

"Maybe it's best that you wait. He's a hot head sometimes." Yunho leans back into the couch, head lulling back as he stares up at the ceiling. Wooyoung watches him for a moment before exchanging a worried glance with San, concern bubbled up in his chest.

"We'll figure it out, Yunho." Wooyoung mumbles, leaning his head back too, resting it on Yunho's shoulder in a soft act of comfort. Yunho half-smiles, breathing deeply through his nose.

"Yeah. I guess so."

"Do you want to watch a movie with us?" San offers, and Yunho almost immediately nods his head as he leans back upright.

"That sounds nice, actually. I could use the distraction."

"Pick something," Wooyoung smiles at him after reaching for the remote, turning the television back on.

"No, you pick something. I've gotta go to the bathroom really quickly. Find something interesting, I don't care that much about what we watch. I'll be back in a second." Yunho smiles at Wooyoung briefly before rising off of the couch and walking away, but pausing near the kitchen. "Uhm-"

San and Wooyoung both turn around, blinking at Yunho as the male stands there, shifting the weight between his feet. "Thank you for listening to me."

"Of course." Wooyoung smiles at him warmly. "It's what friends are for, Yunho'ah."

Yunho smiles at him once more before turning away, heading towards the bathroom. Wooyoung turns to San, a long huff of air leaving his lungs as he tries to process the information that had now fully settled into his brain.

"Holy shit." Wooyoung mumbles, scooting closer to San again.

"Holy shit is right." San turns to face Wooyoung, reaching an arm around Wooyoung's shoulders. "C'mere."

Wooyoung leans into the hug that San offers, melting into his warmth and nosing into his neck, calmingly breathing him in. "I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing." San says firmly, tone soft nonetheless.

"I won't stop apologizing." Wooyoung hugs him tighter. "You deserve a million apologies and a million I love you's. I don't know what I would've done with myself if I ruined what we have."

"Then don't think about that, hm?" San kisses Wooyoung's temple, then the crown of his head. "It didn't happen and it won't happen. You have nothing to worry about."

"M'kay." Wooyoung presses a kiss to the side of San's neck, voice nearly muffed by their closeness. "Can I have a kiss, Sannie?"

"Of course." San feels Wooyoung lean away from his neck, hovering close to San's lips. "You don't have to ask."

Wooyoung smiles at him before pressing a kiss to San's lips, leaning away with a soft hum. San gently grabs Wooyoung's chin with his fingers before pulling the male closer and kissing him again. Wooyoung makes a content sound before sinking back into San's hold, pressing his face into the crook of San's neck. San holds him tighter, swallowing the resentment held in his veins.

Wooyoung finally seemed okay with how things were, and San was perfectly content. He's still upset and still figuring out how to repair his broken trust with Wooyoung, but he will handle all of it with time. He didn't want to make Wooyoung feel worse about any of this, and honestly, he wanted to move past it.

It happened. There was nothing they could do to change the past or the decisions Wooyoung had made, but they could alter their future. San was determined to help Wooyoung through all of this, refusing to let him sink any further than he already had.

He had only hoped that Wooyoung wasn't drowning anymore than he already was.