𝟓𝟕. 𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫
I spend the night in his room... in his bed.
For my sanity's sake, every second of my waking hour, I scowl my stupid brain to remember this is probably how he treats all the women he sleeps with. I'm not receiving special treatment; I'm just like one of them.
However, it sometimes becomes more challenging to abide by this reminder and not let myself get all mushy and tingly.
Sleeping next to him is nice, to put it lightly. It feels safe and serene, with a soft buzzing in my cells.
Despite knowing it's wrong and I should most definitely not get used to it... for some unknown reason, it feels too damn right.
The way his body molds mine feels right, too, like our bodies are made for each other.
However, these are fantasies and just a stupid projection of my affection-deprived brain.
Again, I'm finding it hard to trust what I'm seeing. But if I overlook my uncertainty, I can easily claim Elio's treating me differently.
His gazes linger longer than usual, carrying a passional zeal. He jumps on opportunities to touch me, be it just a chaste graze of my hand.
He smiles more often, all of them wide and bright. The way he animatedly talks about his time in his school in Switzerland is cute and heart-warming, unlike a man who is supposed to be a cold-blooded boss of the mafia running the entire criminal organization across Europe.
I lov—I mean, I like this side of Elio... a lot.
During these twenty-six years of my life, I've never laughed as much as today —from when we awoke until after lunch.
While returning to his family palazzo, I note Emiliano Mariano was never a monster.
He's ruthless when needed, but he's not evil by nature. The Elio I've come to know isn't a monstrous capo. I admire his efforts at staying good in the pit of this corrupt darkness.
As great as the day had been, everything plummets when Pietro sees us entering the house together.
I don't catch what he says, but it sours Elio's mood instantly.
A few minutes after I've settled in my room, Marco strolls in, claiming he's glad he took me over to Elio's place because he's back to his usual self.
Late at night, while I'm getting ready for bed, Elio shows up without giving me a chance to question him about anything and informs me he wants to take me somewhere tomorrow and to be ready by seven.
The next day, Marco gladly helps me choose a dress.
After two hours of trying various dresses, stressing and mulling over my looks, and taking in Marco's advice as he not so subtly hints at Elio's likes and dislikes, I'm ready.
For the first time in all these months, tonight feels beautifully mundane.
No anxiety about a meeting going sideways, a fight erupting, people dying, and places blowing up.
I survey my reflection in the mirror one last time, ensuring my light makeup is on point, the cowl neckline of the deep violet dress isn't showing too much cleavage, and my carefully curled hair hasn't turned into a mess.
Attentively, I descend the stairs, letting my hand slide down the railing.
Elio's busy talking to three of his men. Clad in black from head to toe, the sleeves of his black button-up shirt with the first few buttons undone are rolled up to his elbows, showcasing some of the tattoos on his arms and chest.
The clicking sound of my stilettoes draws his attention to me, and a smile plasters over his face. Dismissing them, he approaches me, holding out his arm.
Gingerly, I accept his hand, and he pulls me to himself, snaking his arm around my waist. "You look breathtaking, tesorino," he huskily whispers.
The blush suffuses my cheeks, and I avert my gaze, making him chuckle and kiss my temple.
"You didn't tell me where we're going," I point out as he leads me out of the house and to his spotless black Bugatti.
"You look the part perfectly." He opens the door for me. "Not that it matters. It would still be fine if you'd come with your pajamas."
As I climb in, I shake my head, a smile threatening to surface. He shuts the door for me, rounds the car, and gets in.
"Can I at least know what the occasion is?" I ask once he revs the engine to life and drives.
Sporting a smile, he lays his palm on my thigh, tingling my skin. "Ever since you've arrived, one bad thing after the other has happened; look at tonight as an occasion for having one good memory from here... to remember Sicily by it after returning to your normal life."
I squint at him. "Don't you have more important things to do?"
"I'll always have pressing things to do... but I'd rather spend tonight with you. I'll always have time to work."
For a moment, I'm tempted to ask more, to find out why he'd rather spend time with me, but I refrain. Having one relaxed, normal night sounds good. Even if it's with the capo dei capi of Sicily.
I can let loose for one night and not overthink everything... in fact, this break is well deserved.
I lean back into the comfortable leather seat and enjoy the ride as I take in Palermo's passing streets and roads.
After everything's over, I'm sure I won't get to see Palermo ever again... nor its people.
My gaze strays to Elio. The daunting realization sinks in. I won't ever get to see Elio again. Even the thought makes me uncomfortable, the notion of never being able to talk to him, spend time with him, even argue with him... oh my God.
I'll miss Elio acutely.
I shove aside the thought, not wanting to ruin tonight with these gloomy notes.
We reach the restaurant. Its exterior resembles an old palace, with a long cobblestone path leading to the red entrance door.
Two men open the car doors for us. I round the car, with Elio already waiting. He locks his arm with mine, and we walk down the pathway.
I scan the quiet area and the lack of customers through the windows.
"Are you sure it's not closed?" I glance up at him, catching his smile.
"Positive."
Oh! He probably reserved the entire place for tonight. "You really didn't need to go to that extent... a simple sandwich on the beach would've worked too," I muse with a smile.
"Perhaps, but it wouldn't have been memorable enough."
My heels make sharp clicking sounds against the bone-white-colored wooden panels of the floor. The main hall is a spacious place with a perfect view of the sea, white walls, and every wooden door is colored teal blue. A majestic grand piano is placed in one corner, while a single round table with two chairs is placed near the window.
Did he pay them to put every other booth away for tonight... for us?
"Are you trying to make up for forcing me to stay in that god-awful hotel back in Florence? No other reason can explain why on Earth you'd go so far as ordering them to remove every other table."
He chuckles and pulls back the chair for me. "Is it working?"
"Maybe," I reply lightly, earning a grin from him.
He settles down across from me and leans back in his seat. "I was wondering if you'd want to spend the night at my place?" A devilish smirk curls his full lips, adding to his suggestive tone.
I bite my bottom lip. "I'll think about it."
A waiter approaches us, pours white wine, and lights up the candle before hurrying away.
Elio picks up his glass, his gaze boring into me. "To trust."
"And unlikely relationships," I add with a smile and clink my glass with his.
The robust and fruity flavor of the wine explodes on my tongue and overwhelms my senses.
Soft live music plays alongside the pianist, and two violinists join in on the melody. I sip my wine and enjoy the music as the faint sound of waves from afar mingles with it. As the song gradually reaches its end, Elio stands up.
Frowning, I look up at him as he holds his palm for me. "Dance with me."
A breathy laugh tumbles out of me as I place the glass on the table. "No."
"Why not? It's just us."
"No, it's not, and I don't know how to dance."
"I won't let you fall." His eyes stay locked with mine as he leans down. "I'll always catch you, I promise."
Hesitantly, I move my hand to his. "I really don't know how to dance." His fingers tighten around my palm. Slowly, I rise to my feet. "I'll probably trip and break my arm or something."
A soft smile spreads across his face before it vanishes under his intense gaze. "And I'll catch you each time you fall," he murmurs in a deep, husky voice, sending tingling sparks down my spine as he tucks a piece of my curled hair behind my ear.
Leading me to the center of the room, he places his hand on the small of my back while holding onto my hand, never breaking our eye contact.
A faint masculine voice sings, drifting from the speakers dotted around the place.
"Grazie, amore mio," the singer starts. I frown, tilting my head as Elio slowly guides me to move along with the rhythm, in sync with him.
"I know what grazie means... but what about the rest?" I ask quietly.
He smiles and shakes his head. "Can't you just enjoy without knowing the meaning?"
"It'd be nice to know," I whisper back.
"I'm not translating the entire song for you."
I roll my eyes playfully. "If only I had access to a translating app."
He pulls me closer to himself, nuzzling his nose with mine. "You ask too many questions, tesorino."
"A force of habit," I breathe out as we sway to the song. My hands clutch his shoulders as his heady cologne scent tickles my nostrils and dazes my senses. His arms tighten around my waist.
Our bodies move gently against each other as he holds me delicately. His lips brush my cheek, and my breath hitches.
"You can't imagine how glad I am for knowing you," he whispers next to my ear, his hand wrapping around mine.
The song gradually reaches a higher note.
I meet his fervent eyes, and it ignites an emotion in me. Powerful and ravaging.
My heart thunders in my chest as he guides my hand up, twirling me around once before bringing me close to himself.
"Elio, tell me the truth. Why are you doing these things tonight?"
For the first time tonight, I glimpse a glimmer of sadness in his beautiful, deep chestnut eyes. His thumb brushes my cheek as I lay my hand on his chest, over his racing heart. "The time we have together is limited."
My brows furrow. Panic grips me, but he's quick to continue, "We're close to fixing the flash drive problem... probably less than two months."
I freeze. "Oh," I mumble to hide the sudden sting of disappointment. Less than two months?
"I just want to spend more time with you before you return to your normal life," he finishes quietly.
I gulp away the forming lump in my throat. Shockingly, it dawns on me, I'm not ready to never see Elio again.
"I didn't know things were..." My voice trails down. I cannot find the right words.
I should be happy this mess is ending... what is wrong with me!
"If everything moves smoothly and according to my plan, it shouldn't take longer."
I nod, biting my bottom lip. "Will you let me go?"
We halt. His ardent gaze burns me. I don't know why I asked that.
Do I not want him to let me go?
I don't know.
One thing I know is I don't belong to this—his world.
"I won't stop you if you wish to leave," he says, quiet and hoarse.
Leaning down, his lips hover over mine. I clutch his shirt, my eyes fluttering shut as my heart pounds and squeezes painfully.
Ever so slowly, our lips meet in a gentle kiss. Tender at first, before passion gets the best of us, and our kiss turns wild and uncontained, spreading the fiery blaze of need and desire like wildfire through my veins.
Elio breaks the kiss, panting as I cling to him. "I'd very much rather continue this in a more private place," he huskily says, making me blush and leading me back to our table.
The dinner is soon served, and we keep our discussions light and playful. Until we're both done, and I'm enjoying the famous Sicilian red wine.
Elio drums his fingers on the table. "Tomorrow, we'll be hosting a dinner gathering. We invited the other three Sicilian families, with a few associates and noticeable clans from the other cities. I want you to be present alongside me."
I purse my lips and raise my eyebrows. "I don't think that's a good idea." I suppress my urge to snap at him for outright ordering me.
"Why not? I'd like to have you there; aside from reminding them you're with me, it can be a pleasant change for you. There are no risks. They take orders from me. They won't dare to start a fight at my house."
"What's the motive behind this gathering?" I ask over the rim of my glass before taking another sip.
"To remind them I'm the boss, and they all work for me... from here onwards, it's up to them to settle things with me as a friend or foe. Let's just say it's a show of power for the Sicilians and Russians."
I nod. "And why do you want me there? It's not like I'll be of any use."
"I don't want you to be in the room while everyone's downstairs enjoying themselves. Marco and Pietro will be there too, so you won't be alone. Everyone knows you live in the Mariano Palazzo. It won't be right if you don't show up."
I chew my bottom lip and gaze out of the window. "You invited all the other Sicilian clans?"
"Yes, but you don't need to worry about Esposito. He learned his lesson."
A cynical smile twists my lips. "Your ex will be there too." I face him pointedly.
He blinks a few times as his brows jump up with surprise. "Trisola?" He chuckles. "Tesoro, she's hardly an ex."
"Fine, your fuck buddy." I snap and plant my glass on the table, glowering at his amused face. "You want me at the same event as your previous sex buddy? Have you lost your mind?"
"She's a good friend of mine, and I'm sure-"
"No," I cut him off and cross my arms. "She might be the woman you end up with. I cannot—will not—put myself in that position! If the word's gone around the way you wanted it to, with me being more than just an ally, she's heard it, too. I'm sure she hates me, and being there will only make things worse. Not to mention, it's not fair to her either."
Amusement glints in his dark eyes as he feigns surprise, barely holding back his grin. "Is that so? Unfair to her?" He shakes his head. "Tesorino mio, you can't fool me. Stop making it about her." With a devilish smirk, he leans past the table between us and grabs my chair, pulling it to himself.
I gasp and clutch his hand. He guides me to his lap. Reluctantly, I give in, and he snakes his arms around my waist, pressing me to his chest. I gaze out the window at the dark sky and the calm sea.
"Now tell me, tesorino, are you jealous of her?" he asks in a low whisper, drawing his nose up and down the length of my neck as his bulge grows harder and more noticeable.
I gulp and try to steady my racing heart. "Me? Jealous? Oh, please, what's there to be jealous about?"
His lips curl into a smirk on my skin before he gently kisses my neck. My breath hitches, and my eyes flutter shut as my hands curl around the soft fabric of my dress.
"If you say so, ciliegia," he murmurs. "Can't you come for me?"
Blinking, I push past the hazy effect he has on me, and I glance at him. "But why? I don't know anyone and have nothing to do there."
"What if I tell you I want you there for me?" He tilts his head slightly, holding my gaze. "These events are tedious. Having you there will make it bearable; I can see you every few seconds, even when I'm busy with the other capos, and the entire night will no longer be as horrible as enduring it without you."
I narrow my eyes, though I place one hand on his shoulder. "You're a shameless flirt."
He grins at me. "I'm telling the truth, tesorino."
I try to stay irritated at him, but it's an arduous task with his beaming face beside mine. Begrudgingly, I mutter, "Fine."
Triumphally, he smiles. "Grazie, tesoro mio."
Despite myself, I crack a small smile and lightly move a lock of his hair away from his forehead before laying my hand on his neck. "Next time you want something from me, try not to vocalize it as a demand."
He chuckles, shaking his head. "Are you sure? Because I got the impression you don't mind it when I tell you to do something in the bedroom."
"Elio!" I gasp, making him burst into laughter as my cheeks turn violently red.
Drowning his laughter with effort, he grins at me. "Among the things I like to do to you, making you blush is definitely one of them."
"You're terrible."
"That's not what you said to me the other night." He smirks. I roll my eyes, though heat rushes up to my cheeks, and a shy smile tugs at the corners of my mouth. "C'mon, I want to take you to the beach."
The restaurant's back opens to the beach, and a blanket with two glasses, a wine bottle, and two dessert plates are already placed atop it.
We settle down, and I welcome the gentle cool breeze caressing my skin while Elio pours wine, handing a glass to me. Sipping my drink, I enjoy the view of the sea with minimal ripples, the salty scent, and the calming sound of the waves. The restaurant lights behind us go out, and my eyes adjust to the dark within a few minutes. Squinting up at the sky, I spot stars and can't help the wide grin stretching across my face.
"I can't remember when the last time I got to stargaze was," I say, without looking away from the dark sky.
From my periphery, I notice Elio scooting over to me. He plants his hand a few inches behind me as he leans toward me. "Do you like it?" he asks before looking at me. "Watching the stars," he adds.
I nod. "It's nice... you can lose yourself in the vastness, forget about everything, even for a moment."
His fingertips lightly brush my cheek as he tucks a strand of my curled hair behind my ear, sending tingling sparks across my body, buzzing my senses.
With his eyes boring into me, I face him. The staggering intensity of his gaze captures me and pulls me to itself.
"Thank you, Elio, for tonight and everything," I say, my voice barely over a whisper.
A soft smile graces his face. "It's nothing, tesorino."
"It's more than anyone's ever done for me. I was wrong about you... I'm sorry for being so awful to you. All the things you've done for me, you didn't have to but chose to do them for me anyway, even though you knew it'd cause problems between you and your men." I look away, my fingers fidgeting. "I just want you to know I really appreciate it."
"I'm just trying to do the right thing. You don't deserve to be stuck in the middle of this fight. We both were wrong about each other. What matters is that now we know." He grabs my hand, intertwining our fingers together.
I admire the tattoos etched on his fingers before gingerly tracing them. He lays a soft kiss on my shoulder, electrifying my senses.
"Did Pietro get angry when he saw us?" I ask hesitantly, meeting his gaze.
His smile widens. "It doesn't matter-"
"But-" I start, interrupting him.
"Cerise, don't worry about it. Trust me, it's not a big deal, and it was expected."
"Us getting close?" I question with surprise, my brows jumping up.
He chuckles. "Yeah, it runs in the family... like a Mariano trait. We do things that are not the norm in our circle of people."
Confused, I tilt my head. "Like what?"
"Like Pietro and Marco getting together, Cosa Nostra isn't that accepting towards them... or even my parents."
"What!"
My shocked face earns a hearty laugh from Elio.
"Weren't they forced to marry? Like a step in strengthening their power, or something like that."
Shaking his head, he chuckles. "My dad almost got kicked out of our Cosca for falling for my mom. And my maternal grandfather almost killed her for wanting to be with my dad."
I gasp, staring in disbelief. Slava almost got killed because she fell in love... My goodness.
"Kira loved their epic love story, saying our parents are the successful version of Romeo and Juliet," he says with a small smile. "It took years for them to gain power and control. Neither families nor other clans accepted, but they didn't give up."
Dumbfounded, I watch him with a gaping mouth. "Wow," I breathe out.
He nods. "There's something about the forbidden... the one you can't have; it always becomes tantalizing. There's a certain thrill in being with someone you're not supposed to be with, the one you know you can never have... yet pursue like a madman."
His perfervid eyes bore into mine, warming me from the inside. Ever so slowly, he leans closer to me. The back of his fingers caresses my cheek, gliding down my neck.
"It's exhilarating, intoxicating," he says, his voice dropping dangerously low, growing devilishly deep. "Every second has to be earned... but being with the illicit ones is like being in a losing fight you willingly stepped into... even after winning and reaching what you desire, the chase never ends. You can never wholly have your forbidden lover."
My heart races as I hold his fervent gaze. The pad of his thumb brushes my bottom lip. Butterflies flutter in my stomach as my heart skips a beat.
"A sweet torture... addicting, frighteningly pleasurable, and insatiable," he murmurs, his lips hovering over mine.
My eyes flutter shut as his hand coils around the nape of my neck.
"I covet you. Ti desidero per l'eternità, Cerise." [I want you for eternity]
Elio kisses me in a way that has me calm like the sea before us, endless like the sky above us, burning and alive like every star in the universe.
As his lips move in sync with mine, igniting fire, life, and passion in me, I wish I could have a life where he'd be a permanent part.
I long for the impossible, having a future with him.
❈ ☯︎ ❈
The song Elio and Cerise danced to is attached to the top of the chapter, in case you were curious =) Also, I highly recommend checking out its subtitles if you don't know the song already :") I couldn't find a proper video with subtitles.
Thanks for reading this chapter, I hope you enjoyed it, vote if you did ^.^ comment your thoughts.
The next chapter is going to be entirely smut. Just the last part of it will be a little talk, in case you want to skip the smut.
Stay safe, lots of love, happy reading ♡
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