"Hell yeah, I wouldn't wanna mess with you!" Sensei Lawrence said as Alaska kicked the frisbee in his hands, "Tighen that core a bit."

"Ready?" Gina asked as she handed Alaskas a stick.

"Ready." Alaska confirmed as the pair began fighting with the sticks that resembled the swords, not being able to because they had been in a park. Alaska huffed as her mom held her stick to her chest, "Why can't I get it?"

"Takes time." Gina spoke as she patted Alaskas hair down, "It's more dangerous, more complex. I think your kicks and fist will protect you for a bit before you need one of these anyways."

"Yeah, unless my wrist or ankles get broken." Alaska said with a huff, her moms words not making her feel much better as she walked off to practice with Bert. Miguel had been having horrible trouble kicking the frisbee, his legs not working nearly as well as they use to. Sensei sensed he was becoming upset and annoyed, calling a water break.

"You've got to be shitting me!" Ass Face yelled out as he stared at his phone.

"What? What happened?" Miguel asked as he leaned on Alaska for support while look his way.

"They canceled the All Valley Tournament!"

"I'm gonna fucking throw up, i'm gonna throw up." Alaska announced as she paced the hallway, making herself gag as she held the small written speech in her hand.

"If you throw up, i'll make you drink it." Miguel warned her as he grabbed her shoulders, "You're gonna do great. All of your friends are here, your family. We're proud of you, just say what matters."

"I hate public speaking, I get such anxiety from it." Alaska said as she peeked her head into the room where other addicts were talking, "Miguel, I just wanna go home."

"You're gonna wish you did this the second you get back." he said knowingly, rubbing her shoulders with a gentle smile, "Just talk from your heart, get everything off your chest."

Alaska inhaled shaky as she nodded her head. Pushing her bagger ring on her finger better as the pair walked into the room. Daniel, Johnny, Carmen, Rosa, Gina, Zane, Sam, Moon, and Demetri sat on the front row. Robby couldn't come because he had his meeting with the probation officer, feeling guilty but Alaska insisted it had been okay. Moon smiled at her as Alaska stood on the small stage with a clear of her throat, "I'm Alaska, i'm an addict."

"Hi Alaska." her group of fellow addicts spoke up. Beth gave her a sad smile as Alaska looked away, "Today is my six months sobriety."

The room cheered for her as Alaska felt a sense of chills run down her spine. Her eyes looked down at her small written speech before crumbling it in her hands, "I feel like i'm suppose to do what everyone else does and stand up here, tell all of you how much better I feel and how i'm so lucky to had gotten out of drugs. But that's just bullshit."

A few people mumbled in the crowd as Alaska inhaled, "It hasn't been easy, at all. And most of the time I feel completely sick out of my mind, not better. And sometimes i'll just lay there and think why all of this is worth it? Why I should care enough to put my body through all these withdraws... but then I realize it's not me i'm doing it for."

Beth looked slightly alarmed at Alaskas words but was trying to trust the process, "This past month has been the hardest. I was really close to over dosing, like so close that if I had taken just a few more steps i'd probably fallen back down that path again. For weeks i've just been asking myself why I stopped in the first place. I knew it wasn't for me, and I guess that's where the problem was."

Alaska met eyes with Miguel as he gave her a nod, "But now that i'm standing up here I realize that I have so many reason why I have to do it for me and not just for the sake of everyone around me. Over the last month i've figured out I want to go into the law field when I graduate, something I can't do if i'm high on drugs constantly. I want to understand and be there for my friends and family, another things I can't do if I overdose on a low lives couch somewhere."

A few people gave a laugh in the crowd as Alaska cleared her throat, "I guess what i'm trying to say is that it's taken me a really long time to feel proud of myself, to realize that i'm not just a addict like everyone else in this room but i'm also a fighter, I stay away from drugs because of myself, not just everyone around me. I just feel like I owe it to some really special people to thank for helping me realize that."

Alaska cleared her throat as she pulled her notebook paper open again, "My Sensei, Johnny Lawrence, for being the reason I stopped in the first place. Carmen, for being the person I go to every time something goes wrong. Yaya for always feeding me and making sure I was taken care of when my addiction would get at its worst. My brother, Miguel, for never leaving me, for standing up all night just to make sure I was okay. My best friend, Demetri, for keeping me balanced and never sugarcoating things for me. Moon, for being by my side when if any other girl was in her position they would have absolutely hated me. Sam, for not letting me fall. My parents for understanding when other parents fail to do so. My sponsor, Beth, for opening my eyes more. And-"

Alaska stopped herself, forgetting she wrote this list a while back. The name burned at the bottom of the list, Alaska fell silent as she stared at it.

Eli.

Alaska looked to Miguel, knowing he wanted her to get everything off her chest. Demetri sat right next to him, staring at Alaska as he nodded over his shoulder. Alaska looked out and saw Hawk standing in the doorway, staring at her. Alaska gapped at him a moment before she looked away, "And my support group, of course. That's it."

The room clapped for her as Alaska got off the stage. She stared at Demetri a moment as he gave a small nod, turning away. Alaska looked to Hawk in the door way as she walked closer, "You came."

Her voice broke as he took a step closer to her, a soft tone, "I didn't want miss this for you."

Alaska let her guard fall for a movement as she wrapped her arms around his waist, tightly as his arms did the same around her shoulders. Just three seconds, just three before they'd pulled apart. Alaskas stared at him, Hawk started af her. A moment of weakness between the pair, that's all it was. He pulled a eyelashes from her cheek before nodding his head and backing up. Alaska turned away immediately as she walked off, looking over her shoulder as she made it back to her friends.

He was gone.

"Hey." Robby said as he gapped at Alaska when he walked down stairs, "I didn't know you were awake yet."

"Didn't sleep in the first place." she said honestly with a shrug, taking notice that he was dressed and seemingly ready for the day, "Where you headed?"

"Just out." he lied to her as Alaska nodded her head, "Have any plans?"

"Demetri and I are taking Cedric to the dog park, do you need a ride?" Alaska asked, handing him a pre made smoothie with a grin.

"I'll be okay, thanks though." Robby said as he took the drink from her, "I saw that huge mess in your room."

"It's not a mess!" Alaska defended herself quickly as Cedric barked at her feet, indicating he needed to go outside. Alaska walked to the door and opened it, "It's christmas decorations!"

"Alaska, that was a mess." Robby laughed in disbelief, "It hasn't even started to snow."

"Wrong, don't you not remember the other night?" she asked him in disbelief.

"You mean when you made me run around in the freezing rain?" Robby asked her in disbelief, a faint grin along his lips.

"It was snow." she said quickly with a snap of her fingers, "Wanna help me decorate my room later?"

"Yeah, I shouldn't be gone long." he spoke, waiting to see if she was going to leave first, "I'll see you later."

Alaska gave a small smile as she watched him leave, heading to bring Cedric back in before her phone went off.

Eli: I love you.

•

kylie speaks

no, i still
miss them.