CRUEL SUMMER
017| the girl you fell in love with

RENEE WATCHED AS STUDENTS OF KOOK ACADEMY FILTERED OUT, a blunt between her lips as she leant against the side of a jeep which she had hooked up with the owner of too many times not to knows who it was. Her name practically being etched in the back middle seat.

They watched her, called her names under their breath as she waited for him. Pogue princess being the majority of them, John B's name appearing every so often — it was the talk of the island, how he was arrested and how he and the pogues (her included) went on the run trying to save him.

If she were honest, she did not care anymore. About what people had to say about her: even her friends, even JJ. Was she reeling from everything that had gone down in the last week or two? Most likely, but she was just going to let it happen. What's the worst that was going to happen...really?

She could see him, stood on one the steps talking with his friends. People who come upon a time she'd talk with, most likely slung under Fletcher's arm laughing at the jokes his friends made despite if they weren't funny at all . Oh god how she used to be a people pleaser.

CONTACT: fletch

renee
their jokes can't really be that funny

She waited momentarily as Fletcher flickered his gaze from his friends to his phone. Turning his head clocking the blonde who rose one hand and began twiddling her fingers with a small smile.

He must have dismissed himself from group, half hugs were shared as he quickened his pace to his car. Half happy to see the girl but the other half concerned, not having seen her in days.

" uh, hey." he said, a nervous smile creeping onto his lips as Renee's Cheshire Cat smile grew more.

" hi." she said, lifting the blunt back up to her lips. Fletcher taking notice of it, eyebrows furrowing.

" what are you doing?" Fletcher sounded concerned, as Renee rolled her eyes " never had fun before Fletch, you too upright for it?" she joked, as the brunette rolled his eyes.

Using his fingers to take the blunt from between her lips as he dropped it to the ground and smooshed it under his foot. Renee widening her eyes as he shrugged his shoulders " oops." he said.

" you ass, that was my last one." she shoved him slightly, forcing some laughter out of his lips as she huffed. Both of them soon noticing the lingered eyes as Renee became all the more uncomfortable.

" wanna get out of here?" he asked " hungry? Thirsty?" he continued, opening the passenger side door for the blonde who nodded.

" both." she replied, earning a smile from Fletcher.

" GOD, THESE MILKSHAKES ARE SO GOOD." Renee hummed, taking another sip as Fletcher laughed. An array of different snacks from the gas station sat in her lap,

" remind me to never take you to the gas station when you've got the munchies." he hummed, taking a sip of his soda as Renee smiled.

" why the sudden visit?" he asked, looking at be blonde who turned back to him, " I haven't seen you before you disappeared."

Renee huffed " I didn't disappear, I went to Charleston."

She watched as Fletcher watched her " and then John B got arrested, and then I got kicked out of my house." she hummed, so casually.

Like her heart wasn't splintering and her mind wasn't tired of it all. Like she didn't want the ground to swallow her up, like she wouldn't let it just consume her all together.

" and..there's a lot going on right now and I need some time to feel normal." Renee said, meeting Fletcher's gaze " you make me feel normal."

Fletcher nodded his head " I can't tell if that's a compliment or not Ren I gotta be honest."

Renee exhaled, placing her cup back onto the holder by door as she lifted her shoeless feet to her chest as she cuddled up on the seat.

They had driven out to Mo's peak, a small cliff notorious for being a make out spot during the dark hours but at five pm it still remained a great place to look at the island over a small cliff side.

Although being her with Fletcher, she couldn't help but think about JJ and what he was doing, what lengths he was going to get John B out of prison none being legal she presumed.

She wanted to text or call but couldn't bring herself to plant herself back into the hell hole of her real reality instead of this one she was pretending she lived in.

" why were you ditching today?" he asked filling in the gap of silence between the two of them , looking over to Renee who toyed with her bracelets that sat on her wrist, looking out to the sea from their position on the small cliff.

She turned her head, " I think my best friend being threatened with the death penalty is a good enough excuse to miss AP algebra." she exhaled, meeting Fletcher's gaze as he smiled sadly. Not mentioning being kicked out of the house he would most likely drop her too after they finished here.

" I'm sorry about that." he offered his apology "no matter what I think about it all, it's a hell of a lot for anyone to go through."

" we'll figure it out," Renee spoke as if a matter of fact " we always figure it out, John B will be out in no time."

Fletcher opened his mouth " but what if, that doesn't happen?" And that's when Renee looked at him with a slight pout, for not feeding into these unrealistic expectations like the rest of her friends did.

" it will." she spoke again without a second thought, noticing Fletchers concern etch more into his face

"it has to." she stated.

IT WAS DARK WHEN FLETCHER DROVE DOWN THE ROAD,

empty packets scattered around his car and two empty cups. Renee who was still living in the small fantasy that was a normal life for a seventeen year old. Although the closer they got to the chateau meant the looming existence of her real life was growing closer and closer.

" you can just come and crash with me," Fletcher said, looking at all the houses that lined the neighbourhood of the cut " my mom loves you and I'm sure she wouldn't want you to be staying...here."

Renee shook her head " this place is more of a home than Figure Eight has ever been." she told him, " my mom kicking me out just gave me more of a reason to stay here."

She looks at the dirt path towards the chateau, as Fletcher stops the car — a lump growing in Renee's throat as she thought of having to talk to JJ after their semi argument today.

He parked up on the gravel, his headlights still on as he turned to Renee " if you ever feel the need to be normal again, you have my number." he told her, making her laugh as she nodded.

" thank you, I really appreciate it Fletcher." she smiled as he hummed. A few beats of silence followed of just looking, Fletcher at her, her at Fletcher.

He began to move closer, too close, far far too close. Renee moved her head back, until she couldn't go any further "Fletch-" she spoke softly, not understanding the break in his heart as she said it.

" shit, I'm sorry," he said leaning back and rubbing his hands over his face, Renee's hand reaching out to take his own, " I don't know what I was thinking."

" Fletch, it's ok it's just-" she started, looking up and seeing the boy sat on the porch. An all white jump suit, a hat and teary eyes watching the whole ordeal go down.

" JJ?" she felt her face soften, heading Fletcher murmur something about knowing JJ was her boyfriend. But Renee was gone, bag in hand as she exited the car — her boyfriend already taking off in the opposite direction.

" JJ!" Renee called out, her feet fast as she caught up to him. " no Ren, not right now." he told her, his voice breaking as the girl stood in front of him.

Her hands moving to his cheeks "J, tell me what's going on." she could feel the wet of his tear tracks when she touched him.

" I come here to talk to you, to apologise and you're with-with him!" JJ hand pointing to Fletcher who had since gotten out of the car.

" JJ, I don't what you thinks going on but it's not like that." Renee assured him, and in her eyes there wasn't and she never intended for anything to happen with Fletcher.

It was just company, it was getting milkshakes and sitting in the car without the lingering thought of everything that was happening. It was a life she had for so long but would never get back after this summer.

" Ren-" the brunette spoke, making JJ's eyes narrow and his blood boil. Renee turning around to face Fletcher who was almost was begging to talk to her.

" please, just go." she spoke as politely as she could, Fletcher who just nodded, getting back into his car and soon was driving back down the street.

Renee's attention shifting back to JJ who looked mad, upset but also mad " is this where you've been all afternoon? with him?" he scoffed.

" we're not doing this out here JJ." she spoke, grabbing his hand despite his hesitation and allowing the girl to lead him into the living room of the chateau.

It didn't take long until the argument started again " do you know what I've been doing all day?" JJ questioned,

" I've been trying to help John B get out of prison, I've been trying to keep the pogues together and what have you been doing? A little date with your kook side piece!" his voice rising as Renee shook her head.

" it's not like that JJ!" she said, " Why can't you accept that Fletcher is my friend, I bet if I was with Pope this conversation wouldn't even exist!" Renee told him as JJ scoffed,

" no it wouldn't," he stated " because Pope's not fucking in love with you!"

JJ looked at her, "what's going on with you lately?" he said, looking at the girl who stood on the opposite side of the room to him.

Her face scrunched up " nothing- I'm fine JJ." she lied, although the problem with her was lingering under the surface she wouldn't face it.

None of this was about her, it was about John B and she wouldn't let it become about her.

The boy didn't believe her, " bullshit! ever since John B and Sarah went missing, you've been different." He said, " you've been so distant and you don't talk to me anymore,"

" that's not true." she shook it off, watching as JJ's face furrowed.

" then why did your mom kick you out?" he asked, watching as his girlfriend's face dropped.

A finger pointing to his chest, " and why didn't you tell me about it? so I could help you?" He hummed, watching as the girl's eyes filled with tears.

"how-how did you even know about that?" she asked, knowing for sure it hadn't slipped out to any of their friends.

JJ exhaled " Lennon told me, he saw me and asked me how you were." Renee watched his face change "and I can't even tell him, because you won't tell me what's wrong."

Renee shook her head, " there's nothing wrong with me, I'm fine." she lied once again, not sure if she was trying to convince JJ or herself at this point.

JJ exhaled, " why are you lying to me!" his voice rose slightly, taking Renee off guard " what are you keeping from me? what- do you like Fletcher or do you want to be a Kook or something, because I can fucking take it!"

Renee shook her head frantically, " are you listening to yourself right now? you're being crazy!"

JJ walked closer " but I've always been crazy and doing and saying dumb shit Ren, that's just who I am." He told her " but whatever the hells going on with you, that's new."

Her palms ran over her face " fuck sake! there's nothing going on with me JJ!" she too rose her voice.

" you weren't like this in the summer." he said, watching her, the unfazed look on her face she wore to conceal the heartache that happened under the skin.

Renee looked at him, sniffling " well, I'm not the same person I was in the summer J." she told him, " shit happens and people change."

Her shoulders shrugging as she looked at him from across the room" and maybe I'm not the girl you fell in love with anymore."

JJ watched her, trying to find a gap in the light of her eyes as a way to get in. To understand what was happening. But she head barricaded herself off, even to him.

"..yeah," he nodded his head, pursing his lips as he watched her " maybe you're not."

They didn't mean it, neither of them. JJ was still lingering with the hurt of his failed jail break earlier that night and Renee was reeling over everything that happened in the last couple months.

They looked at each other - what once was a look of nothing less than love was now tainted by this very moment. In the capacity of the chateau, only a few metres away from the place they first uttered that they loved each other.

JJ's leg touching the side of the couch where they first kissed — this small house a tapestry of their love, and yet they stood here burning it all down.

Instead they gazed at each other with somewhat of a twisted hatred, like they didn't recognise the person standing in front of them any more.

They were just strangers again.

After a few more moments of a bitter silence, Renee nodded lifting the sleeve of her sweater and wiping it under her nose.

" so what?" JJ exhaled, trying to conceal the tears in his own eyes " we're just gonna break up?"

Renee felt her gut wrench at the sound of his words, how her heart felt like it was beginning to splinter inside her chest. Her body feeling heavier as she became aware of the situation.

The girl nodding and swiping her fingers under her eyes again " yeah, I guess we are." she said, so finally, so decided.

JJ nodded his head slowly, his teeth biting into his lip to contain the consistent quiver of it.

Renee felt her voice shake " maybe you should go, or I should go-" she exhaled " one of us needs to leave."

JJ watched her as she avoided eye contact with him, " I don't want to do this." he said, Renee feeling her lip quiver even more.

He walked closer, hand gently palming her cheek " just talk to me, tell me what's wrong so we can fix it." he whispered.

Renee shook her head " there's nothing to fix, this is who I am now." she said, her glazed over eyes looking at him " and I'm sorry I'm not the girl you fell in love with anymore."

JJ exhaled, he didn't believe her. His hand dropping — making a shiver run down Renee's back.

" right, I'll see you around then I guess." he looked at the blonde girl who nodded her head. Not being able to say anything as she watched his body exit out of the doorway.

A silence followed, her mouth eventually opening to let out a gasp. Her knees felt weak as she fell onto them. Her arms crossing as she felt her nails dig into the skin of her shoulders.

Her sobs loud and tears rapid, a numbness overcoming her as she cried. Her breathing becoming messier as she reached for her bag where her phone sat in the pocket.

Time passed either too fast or too slow. As she clicked on her brother's contact — sobs loud and echoed through the house as the phone rang.

It wasn't long until he picked up, met by the messy breathes of his younger sister and the pained sound of her crying.

She didn't say a lot, but then again she didn't need to. Her emotions flurried into some sort of blackout — only coming to a concious mind again when she woke up. back in her bed, back on figure eight.

AUTHORS NOTE.
I'm sorry...