CRUEL SUMMER
028, you good?

RENEE LOWE HAD LOST LOTS OF PEOPLE, more than most people had at the age of seventeen. Her dad, John B and Sarah ( in their own sort of way), but she had never seen it first hand.

Which is why made the prospect of losing Pope all the more terrifying. The boy whose sweaty palm clutched tightly around the knuckle of the blonde who despite the dread on her face, tried to reassure her friend.

Her throat tight and breaths ragged, as she pushed some sort of resemblance of a smile "you're gonna be ok-" she rushed out her words, rubbing her thumb over the back of his hand.

She watchers his face, the desperation that carved itself into his expression — the hope he placed in his  in response of the fear of dying.

Her voice breaking as she nodded at Pope "I'm gonna make sure you're ok Pope." she said, in full certainty that she would.

But there wasn't much she could do. They'd already driven too far from the mainland to make it to the hospital, JJ's cousin ( who only John B had met) was their only hope.

Arriving at whatever part of the island Renee hadn't been to before and if she had she hadn't remembered. John B and JJ grabbed Pope, beginning to lead him towards the door.

Balling her fist, Renee hit it on the window. noticing a brunette figure on the couch and the distant sound of Steve Harvey's voice swelling in her mind admist the shouts and pleads from her friends behind her.

Renee couldn't really hear what words were exiting her mouth — she could feel the rawness in her throat and how her friends echoed her words meaning what she said must have been somewhat similar.

It was one of those moments when minutes blur, they blur and feel like seconds. It was one thing Renee had encountered too much recently.

Tethering herself in reality through the view of Pope struggling on the dining table and the prospect of him dying there which felt all the more real then.

as the others swarmed him, holding parts of him in attempts of reassurance, Renee stood back. Only realising the distance when her back hit the wall, sending one of the frames onto the floor. Glass shattered by her feet as she looked down, no body noticed or even if they did. They didn't care.

Her fingers curving against the edge of the wall, tightening as she looked back up. Pope still replicating something lifeless on the table, Ricky and JJ looking for the med kit. Her body convulsing in soft shudders and a nausea growing in her stomach. The panic mingling with the pre anticipated grief and loss.

She could feel the tears well in her eyes, she could feel the pleads to whoever they say has the power to change it creep in her mind.

'Not him'
' Please don't take him.'

The feeling of grief slipping into her bones which became brittle to the feeling — her fingers aching as her eyes wondering to the hand that belonged to JJ that was being held for her.

Her gaze lifting to his eyes, JJ's panic meeting Renee's tears.

As the words " I can't lose him too." slipped silently from her lips, almost lost in the heat of her breath. But JJ turning his head and the pressure of her weak bones under the tightening of his hand against her own meaning he was the only one who had heard her.

How the scent of his cologne or whatever remained of it under the musk of stale sweat and dirt tied her back to the real world. Her eyes squeezing shut as she rested in the crook of his neck.

The silence of the world once whatever Ricky had given Pope settled in — the only noise being a preempted sob from Renee's mouth.

Followed soon by the shouts of other pogues, claiming that Ricky had killed Pope. The feeling of walls caving in begin to push weight onto Renee's body, JJ's hands trying to steady her.

It was all too much wasn't it? for a kid this young.
Because as much as she played adult and dreamed of  the freedom and responsibility that came in your twenties. Renee Lowe was still a child, they all were.

To be so close to death, to be able to look in its eyes. To watch as it tries to take someone else from her — or take herself.

The spluttered sounds of coughs filled the room, the voice that Renee heard through fuzziness of her own panic. But she recognised it, and fuck did she adore hearing that voice.

A heavy exhale leaving her mouth as she lifted a hand to cover her face — her fingers trembling against her lips. Watching as Pope sat up, the movements of his chest heavy.

but at least there was movement.

"WHO LET HIM DRIVE?" Renee whispered to JJ, watching as he glanced at her. Her tear tracks still evident, the gloss of the tears still yet to sink into her skin. Instead, cascading down to her jawline.

" did you not hear the whole ripping our ears off threat or something?" JJ told her, their bodies jolting at the speed Pope was driving down the road.

Renee leaning forward into the space between Pope and Kiara, her hand gently placing on the shoulder of his fleece to steady herself.

" hey pope?" she hummed, not expecting his head to fully turn to look at her as she shook her head with widened eyes.

Clicking her fingers in the direction of the road "hey hey! eyes on the road buddy!" she instructed.

Hearing the soft sorry pope let out, as she exhaled " as happy as I am that you're not..you know—" she stopped, not wanting to usher the words.

Unable to read the tension in her voice, " Dead?" Pope filled in, Renee awkwardly nodding her head.

" yeah that," she hummed " I'd really appreciate if you didn't..." her words faltering.

"Kill us all on the way to the cross?" he once again filled in, blanking out the strained exhales of everyone else.

Renee's eyes widening slightly, swallowing dryly " yep that too..."

Pope shaking his head erratically in his posh adrenaline high " no, not planning on that." he rushed " but we gotta get there, fast and furious style."

Renee shook her head, a silent breath exhaling from her parted lips " action films aren't exactly my forte pope."

She leaned back, her back pressing back against the seat as she tilted her head back against the headrest — "he's gonna kill us before we get to that goddamn cross." JJ huffed, his fingers wrapped tightly around the handle just above the window.

Renee phased back to the moment by the swerving of the car, the screams of her friends to pope that accompanied it and the gleaming of the headlights back at them from another car.

Her eyes closing, a finger lifting to pinch the bridge of her nose as she hears the words " what an asshole right?" leave Pope's mouth.

In the last few months, Renee had imagined dying in the situations she put herself in for the pogues. But if you had told her that the most likely one would be at the hands of Pope Heyward's reckless driving, she wouldn't have believed you.

This was the same Pope who use to hand Renee sunscreen and talk about the damage that UV's can do on the skin before she would eventually huff and put it on just to shut him up.

This was the same Pope who went and brought another helmet for JJ's bike — spent his own money because he hated the idea of 'finding one of your brains on the ground because you were idiots'.

" please, just pull over pope!" Renee called out, " let me drive— it'll get us there quick I promise!"

He didn't listen to her, not even acknowledging her with an actual answer — just the shake of his head and a further pressure placed on the accelerator.

Renee huffed " Pope Heyward I swear!" she raised her voice, like disciplining a badly behaved and equally as defiant child.

John B nodding, in an agreement with the blonde girl who had pushed herself back into her seat "We're not going to get to cross if we're dead Pope!" John B told him.

A small scoff exiting Pope's lips, turning around to face John B " that's not gonna happen, it's our divine right to get to that—"

"Pope watch out!" Kiara screamed, and only then did the other acknowledge it too. Their car going straight into one of the trees that lined the road up to the old church.

An encore of screams rang out in the capacity of the vehicle. Pope turning the wheel, beginning to let the car spin.

Renee's eyes clenching close as she gave in to JJ's arm that wrapped around her to shield her from the onslaught of breaking glass as the car spun.

Her fingers tightly gripped onto the material of his shirt, holding him closer than she think she ever had. Just in case this was the last time she would. It was subconscious, but it was still genuine.

When the car finally stopped spinning, Renee let out the breath she held in her chest. Feeling the flat palms of JJ's hands push her hair back.

Renee looking up to him, meeting his face. Both a mix of relief and panic — his lips twitching into a momentary smile seeing she was awake.

" you ok?" he asked, moving his eyes from Renee's face to the small shards of glass that fragmented on top of her hair. Weaving themselves between strands of her hair.

Renee nodded " yeah, I'm good." she hummed, moving her fingers to gently run over a small cut by JJ's eye. Her heart shuddering as he winced under her touch.

her face falling slightly " you good?" she asked, continuing to run her hands over his face. Both of them using this situation as a reason to touch each other.

JJ had missed the softness of her skin whilst Renee had miss the ruggedness of his. He missed being so close he could smell her perfume, and she missed smelling his faded cologne.

The boy humming  " better now." he whispered, everyone else too enthralled with themselves to notice the two blondes in the back seat of the car.

Renee smiled, stroking his cheek with the pad of her thumb, letting it linger just that little bit longer.

ELLIE SPEAKS🪄
MY SHAYLAS!!! ( we all scream in unison)

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