𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐒.
chapter thirty-eight; To Live and Love and Care
" You are angry because something was taken from you, that means you had something worth taking. "

  VEX WANTED TO start the search for Zeppelin, so that was the plan. At least, it was until Dean reminded her she had a hole in her leg that required care and rest.

  They'd argued for an hour before Dean started setting up a small camp for the night, and Vex sulked silently in front of the fire.

  "We will find her, but if you push yourself too hard, we're S.O.L," Dean said softly, taking a seat beside his sister, "We'll go a couple of miles a day. Gotta find supplies as we go."

  Vex glared but accepted a can of green beans he held out.

  "Sun is set anyway, no use in wandering around in the dark," He said, nudging her, "We'll find her."

  The woman stared into the can, sloshing the liquid around for a moment before reaching in and eating a bean.

  "So," Dean spoke up after a moment, "Run me through how you got Daryl to ditch you?"

  "I told him to find Zeppelin," Vex mumbled, "He left for a minute. Probably trying to clear a path. I moved when he did."

  "You know he's worried about you, right?"

  "I doubt it," Vex sighed, "He's probably doing exactly what we are right now. 'Cept he's eating squirrel or something else."

  Dean rolled his eyes, leaning back onto the forest floor and interlocking his hands behind his head.

  "Never saw this many stars in the city."

  Vex scoffed, continuing on with her meal, staring into the fire instead of looking at her brother.

  "You were always good with the constellations," Dean said, "Come on, point 'em out."

  "I haven't looked for constellations since we were kids," Vex admitted, "No point."

  Dean pushed himself up, resting an arm around his leg as he watched Vex slowly work her way through the can of food.

  "Not even when you were deployed?"

  Vex halted her actions, freezing in place for a moment before setting the can down.

  "I'm going to bed," She said evenly, "Rest up, we leave at dawn."

  Dean frowned, but sighed in defeat, laying back and looking up at the stars he could not connect for the life of him.

🗡

  Vex was taking nothing the next day. Dean was still trying to steer her toward caution, but after taking a pill and cleaning her wound, she was on the move-- and he had no choice but to follow.

  They walked for hours, silence covering them in the forest.

  Vex had found no sign of her daughter, and Dean could tell it was wearing on her.

  "I hate this shit," Vex finally admitted, loudly, "Wandering through a forest, hoping I find a footprint or snack wrapper-- what the fuck is this? The walkers, the Governor, the people, Woodbury, the prison-- what the fuck?!"

  Dean watched patiently as Vex angrily chucked her backpack on the forest floor.

  "What's the point of trying to change if this is what I get for it?" She shouted, turning to her brother, "Trying to-- to be a normal person, trying to, what, make friends? Talk to people? Care about them-- all I get is losing every single one of them, and my kid. It's not worth it--"

  "You don't mean that, V."

  "I do!" The woman argued, "I do mean it-- if we had just kept on walking, left the damn farm, it would just be me and you and Zep and I wouldn't have to worry about anyone else--"

  "You would be miserable," Dean cut off evenly, "I mean, fuck, Veronica--"

  "Don't call me that--"

  "--You just told me you only live for other people and now you're saying you regret meeting them?" Dean let out a dry laugh, "It doesn't make any sense--!"

  "I have lost everything," She screamed, startling her brother, "I hardly remember Mom, Dad stopped talking to me when I was 18, my husband was a complete asshole, I sold my soul to the government and all I got was PTSD, Hershel is dead, the people I started caring about are missing, and my daughter-- the one thing I care about the most-- I have no idea if she's even alive, Dean, so yeah, I fucking wish we had kept on walking because I'm tired-- I'm so tired of losing people."

  Vex breathed out ragged breaths, but her anger surged as she heard shuffling behind her-- the woman turned quickly, burying her knife into the skull of a lone walker.

  And then she stabbed it again, and again, and again-- and she kept going, ignoring the blood spattering on her, ignoring the burning in her arms, ignoring the ache in her leg-- she kept going until its face was unrecognizable entirely and even then she kept going.

  She kept going until Dean's arms encased her totally, pulling her off of the walker. Vex fought him, and thrashed against his grasp until his hand rested atop her head.

  Vex's movements halted as he brushed her hair down carefully, continuing these motions over and over again.

  It was a way of calming her down, one her mother had done when Vex's emotions got the better of her as a child, and one Dean had continued after her passing.

  For a very long time, it was the only thing that could bring Vex back to herself.

  "It's worth it," Dean said quietly, still holding his little sister, "Living, caring, loving-- it's worth it, V."

  She blinked, her body relaxing against her thoughts.

  "It's what makes us human, what gives life purpose," He continued, "It's what keeps you going. Be angry if you have to-- but remember why you are angry."

  Tears stung her vision as she stared into the forest.

  "You are angry because something was taken from you," He said quietly, "That means you had something worth taking. A thief doesn't break into an empty building."

  She did have something worth taking. For the first time in her life, Vex had known what it was like to have a home. A family. Friends. A greater purpose.

  "But it was still taken from me."

  "So take it back."

  Vex looked up at her brother, and while Dean's expression was one of kindness and assurance for her, just behind it was a kind of malice Vex knew all too well.

  "She'd follow a landmark," Vex said quietly, "If she has any say. . . a river, a road-- we saw some train tracks, didn't we?"

  "We did," He confirmed.

  "Let's start there."

  "Okay."

  Dean stood first, holding out a hand for his sister who was splattered with blood.

  So often she seemed older than him. Stronger, wiser, harsher-- but when it was just the two of them, when the rest of the world went quiet, they were both reminded she was still young.

  There was so much she had not seen or done, so much she still needed her brother for.

  And likewise, times like these reminded them that Dean was not the flippant runaway he was often painted as. He had suffered, fought, and won. He knew anger, the same kind Vex fostered-- he was only better at hiding it.

  Dean collected Vex's discarded bag, passing it to the woman and starting toward the train tracks they had passed shortly before.

  Vex followed him silently, the two exiting the forest and starting down the tracks. They walked for miles, and Dean only spoke when he saw a sign.

  "Sanctuary for all," He mumbled, reading the words, "Those who arrive, survive. . . Terminus."

  Dean looked to Vex, raising a brow.

  "It's too good to be true," She mumbled, "But it's the only landmark we have."

  "So? Sanctuary?"

  Vex sighed, chewing the inside of her cheek. She tried to imagine what others would do. What Zeppelin would do, if Rick or Michonne or Glenn would follow it. Would Daryl?

  "Fuck it," Vex breathed out, lowering her head.

  The woman tugged a chain from her shirt, pulling it over her head and securing it over the sign.

  Dean threw an arm around her, the two continuing to walk despite the sun dipping deep beneath the horizon, leaving the silver dog tags engraved with Veronica Williams as a breadcrumb for their family to follow.

  "Orion is right there. Taurus is right above it, Gemini is above his arm."

  "I thought you said haven't looked at constellations since we were kids."

  "I lied."