𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐒.
chapter sixty-three; Kitchen Light
" I just don't know who I am anymore. "

ZEPPELIN AND MAEVE sat on the front porch as the group returned to the house slowly. Each person greeted Zeppelin as they climbed over the girls and their splayed-out card game, the occasional ruffle of her hair, assistance in her next play, questioning if she'd eaten dinner yet.

This part, at least, was normal.

"You guys really are a family, huh?"

Zeppelin peered up at Maeve as she set down another set of cards, furrowing her brows.

"What do you mean?"

"Just that everyone cares about everyone," Maeve said, glancing into the front window. "I didn't know that kind of thing existed. Even before it all."

"I didn't either."

Maeve turned back to Zeppelin, who looked just as shocked at her own words as Maeve did.

Zeppelin cleared her throat nervously, discarding a card before leaning back against the porch railing and propping one of her legs up.

"Your turn."

Maeve drew a card, sorting out her hand for a second, before discarding.

"I guess we have a lot in common, then."

Zeppelin gave a half smile as she played her turn.

Maybe they did. In one way or another. Maeve had come from outside, after all, she hadn't lived in Alexandria very long at all. Four mere months, after the loss of both of her parents; she'd been through hell and made it out.

Zeppelin wondered how far the similarities went.

"Hey, baby."

The girl looked up at the familiar voice, spotting her mother approaching with Daryl and Dean in tow.

"Hi," Zeppelin greeted softly, tilting her head up as her mother leaned down to kiss her forehead, "Everything okay?"

"Oh, yeah. Rick and Michonne are gonna be constables."

"What's a constable?"

"Like a cop, right?" Maeve said.

"Pretty much," Vex confirmed with a small smile. "Nice to meet you, I'm Vex."

"Maeve," The girl grinned, "Thanks for letting me come over."

"Anytime," Vex nodded, glancing back as Daryl placed a hand on her waist in passing, entering the home, "Probably doing dinner soon, you staying?"

"Maybe another day. Olivia's probably gonna get worried if I don't get back soon," Maeve admitted, "But thank you for the offer, it really does mean a lot."

Vex only nodded, watching Maeve lay down the rest of her cards before placing one in the discard pile to end the game.

"See you later, Zep."

Zeppelin stared as Maeve hopped up, descended the front porch steps and took off down the street. She turned back and tossed a way toward the girl before disappearing around a corner.

"Hey, looks like you made a friend."

"Something like that."

Dean raised a brow at Zeppelin, but she shook her head and collected the cards quickly, entering the home in front of Vex and Dean. She spotted Carl, playing his own game of cards with Noah, nodding once to the boy. He whispered something to Noah before standing, quickly following Zeppelin through the home until they found a secluded corner in the kitchen.

"So?"

"So. . ."

"What do you think?" Zeppelin questioned, leaning against the counter.

"I like the people. I just don't want us to get weak."

Zeppelin nodded, looking down at her feet as Carl stepped beside her, mimicking her position of leaning on the counter.

"What about you?" Carl questioned lightly.

"I think it's weird," She admitted, "It's not like the prison, this is. . . running water, and school, and. . . Maeve said they bake here."

"And you have a problem with baking?"

  "No," She said, rolling her eyes, "I. . . it's just. . . I don't know if I can do it."

"What?"

Zeppelin expected Carl's reaction. He was entirely perplexed, standing straight and moving to be directly in her eyeline.

"But--"

"We have to be normal if we're here. I don't know if I can do that. . . I've tried, so hard, to stay the same. To be. . . optimistic and open and be friends with anyone we meet but. . . I dunno, I guess this place, just being here, it makes me. . . makes me wonder if that's really what I am anymore."

Carl frowned as Zeppelin picked at her nailbeds.

"I just don't know who I am anymore. I don't know how I fit here."

Carl hesitated before claiming the spot beside her again. She hadn't looked up yet, still staring at her hands, her open unmarred palms as if they were stained permanently.

"You're my best friend."

Zeppelin smiled sadly, her chest tightening at his words.

"You're strong and smart," He continued quietly, "You're nice, selfless. . . You're a good person, Z. You stick up for what's right."

"Even after I killed my dad?"

"He was going to hurt you. You and your mom, you didn't have a choice—"

"You always have a choice."

Zeppelin's voice was quiet, and she finally looked at him with tears brimming in her eyes.

"If I killed him, how am I any better than he is? What if that's something genetic, something he passed along to me?"

"No—"

"But you don't know that Carl, because sometimes when I'm angry, and all I see is red, I know he's my father. What if I ruin everything here? What if--"

Zeppelin clamped her mouth shut as Carl grabbed her hand tightly. He was looking at her with such sureness, that Zeppelin wondered how people ever disagreed with him. He was so sure of himself, so convicted in his way of thinking.

"We did what we had to. You're a good person, Zep. Even if you don't think that I do."

She nodded silently, a lump forming in her throat. In all reality, Zeppelin was still unsure. Still scared and hesitant. But Carl believed in her. And maybe that was enough for both of them.

"I think my mom and Daryl are together."

"Huh?"

A laugh escaped Zeppelin, despite the tears in her eyes, at Carl's face of shock.

"Yeah," She nodded, still laughing.

"Are you. . . okay?"

"Daryl's the only person I'd be okay with my mom getting with," Zeppelin admitted, "It's weird, obviously, but. . . I dunno, I mean he's probably like, the closest thing I've had to what a dad is supposed to be other than my uncle."

Carl smiled.

"I said he should live in that house with us before I thought anything about them, now I wonder if it'll be weird."

Zeppelin rolled her lips, looking to Carl.

And he laughed, unable to hold it back.

"Don't laugh at me!"

"It's kinda funny."

Zeppelin scoffed, lightly shoving Carl, but her own laughter bubbled up, too.

And Vex Williams, who had been getting ready to help start dinner but halted at the voice of her daughter, smiled from beyond the threshold of the kitchen. Briefly, she had panicked at the idea of Zeppelin knowing about her and Daryl, but after hearing laughter, she breathed easier.

She elected not to interrupt, turning for the porch where she knew Daryl had taken up residence.

"We're not slick."

Daryl raised a brow, exhaling smoke as Vex leaned on the porch rail beside him.

"Zep already thinks we're together."

"Why?"

"I dunno, cause she's smart and she knows us," Vex breathed out, accepting the cigarette Daryl offered. "Busted."

"Didn't know it was hidden."

"It's not," She said, glancing at him, "I just figured we'd. . . figure it out before we told Zep."

Daryl watched as she watched him. Her head tilted just slightly, bringing the cigarette to her lips, the end burning brighter as she inhaled.

He did not belong here. He felt like a puzzle piece someone tried to stick in the wrong spot; bent and crowded to link into his surroundings.

The only thing that made sense was her.

Not that this even really made sense to him; Daryl had never imagined a relationship for himself that lasted longer than one night or harbored any real feelings, let alone one with someone like Vex, or one that involved a kid.

But she made sense. He never felt out of place when she was beside him. Like Vex was some extension of his own body, one of the very few people who had seen his worst and best and still looked at him like he was worth looking at.

"I figured it out," He said quietly.

"Did you?"

"Mhm."

"Share," Vex encouraged, passing him the cigarette back.

Daryl accepted it, letting it rest between his lips as he crossed his arms, admiring her.

She propped a hand on her hip, watching him expectantly. Her hair was down, it had been so long since it hadn't been tied back. Daryl knew it was stupid, and he'd never admit it, but he loved it when her hair was down and her curls were wild and she looked so perfect.

"It's you and me."

He felt a surge in his heart as she smiled softly, knowing he had said the right thing.

Even if this was uncharted territory and he had no idea what else worked, he knew this was true.

Vex said nothing, only scooting closer to him. Daryl took another drag of the cigarette before passing it back to her, lifting his arm for Vex to lean into his side as she finished off the nicotine.

Maybe one day Vex would feel the discomfort Alexandria brought. The uneasiness that both Daryl and Zeppelin felt. But for now, all she had was peace. Peace, knowing that the people she cared about who had made it this far were all together in one place, safe behind steel walls in a community that thrived enough to foster weakness.

"We good?"

She glanced up as Rick Grimes emerged from the home clad in a sheriff's uniform. His attention was focused on Daryl, who had left after hearing Rick accept the position, but Vex didn't miss Rick's knowing glance at her.

"Yeah," Daryl said roughly, "You a cop again?"

Rick sighed, hanging his head for a moment, "I'm trying it on for size."

Carol emerged from the front door, joining the trio; she had donned the mask that suited her appearance, that of a homemaker, with a collared shirt, cardigan, and slim-fitting pants.

Vex thought it almost comical that Carol could hide so well in plain sight.

"So we're staying?"

"I think we can start sleeping in our own homes," Rick nodded, "Settle in."

"If we get comfortable here, we let our guard down-- this place is gonna make us weak."

"Carl said that. But it's not gonna happen," Rick said, walking to the far edge of the porch and looking out across the dimly lit neighborhood, "We won't get weak. That's not in us anymore. We'll make it work. And if they can't make it. . . then we'll just take this place."