t w o  t r u t h s
CONRAD'S POV:

After a few minutes, I can feel Covey's breathing go back to normal and she lifts my head up to pull me to her chest. "What the fuck was that?" she asks, tilting her head to the side.

Pinching her waist, I glare down at her. "Don't."

"I just fucking did," she says, holding my jaw in between her hands. "Hello to you too, Conrad."

"Hi Covey," I whisper, giving her a small and sadder kind of smile. "Baby, I really am sorry."

She tightens the features on her face and at the last second, averts her gaze away from mine. "Go fuck yourself."

I swear my mouth falls open. "Covey, what the hell!"

"I'm a big girl," she says, turning away from me. "Don't try to parent me because parents are such hypocrites. Just like you." Ouch.

"I know you're trying to put up an act," I conclude, sitting down on the couch next to her. "You are fully aware that you can't resist me, I just proved that, which is why I said not to forgive me right away. However—"

"Do not put this all on me," she says slowly, mildly, in control. "I told you to get your stuff together before you try to get us together."

"We are together." Right? "And you don't have to be a bitch to me, babe. I'm trying here. I want to explain but I just don't know how to." I tilt her chin up and hold it in my hand as I say, "I don't want to give you a reason to leave me."

She laughs a little and there's a faint trace of a smile across her lips. "You've already given me plenty, what's the harm of adding a few more?"

These are serious ones.

"I'm not an open book, I can't just say the things I want to say all the time," I mutter, looking down where her pinky finger has looped through one of my belt loops. 

"Really?" Her tone is almost sarcastic, if not mocking.

"Really. I may be an English teacher, but I can't, even if I really want to."

"Why?" she asks, searching my eyes. "Why is it so hard for you?"

"The last time I told someone something as personal as this, they didn't care." Veronica. "They left me. And yes, Covey, you aren't like anyone I've ever met and I'm in complete love with you, but I—"

She shakes her head before leaning it helplessly against the couch cushion. "If you loved me, you would trust me enough to know."

"That's not how it works, amore."

"Then tell me," she says, eyes brimming with tears but she fights them. "Who is Adalaide to Damon?"

I clear my throat, adjusting in my seat. And then I grab the book that fell to her side before flipping to a specific quote for her to read. "Here," I say after a minute. "Read it out loud."

She nods, taking the book into her hands. "'You are my fantasy, want, love, and desire. Everything I have ever wanted,' I tell her, the rain piercing against my face. 'Don't you know?'"

Covey shakes her head at me.

"Covey, there's your answer," I reply, raising an eyebrow. "Don't you know?"

"No," her tone is dead, "I don't know. I don't know why you have to be so closed off towards me. I get it, you gave me the lay of the land and told me about your dad. But I need to know that I'm more than just a flipping desire. I need to know why I'm so important to you... maybe then you'll understand why I need to know about your past and current problems." She wipes her cheeks with the back of her hand. "I've been trying to tell you that's what I'm here for, but it's not working. What else do you expect from me?" she cries, "To let you fuck me whenever you want?"

Stop dropping the f bomb.

I close my eyes and let her words sink in, yet they don't go deep enough. "I told you I don't just want sex. But the secrets I've kept from everyone else in my life are just—"

"Just what?" she mumbles. "They're excuses as to why I can't be close to you. I want to be inside your skin—I want to, Conrad—to be so intimate that I know when you need fixing like how you always fix me." She whispers the last part, "I won't judge you, Coco. I love you too much."

Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, I say, "I love you, Cove. So much." Just tell her the truth.

Her lips tug into a lopsided, half-smile. "Can you try? Right now, just a little?"

I nod, trying to get the words I've been rehearsing in my mind all-day long. "Ve—shit—Veronica is pregnant."

Covey sits up completely, grabbing my hands. "Tell me it isn't yours."

"What the fuck? Hell no," I almost laugh, screwing my face up in disgust. 

"Is she pretty?"

"Nah," I say, scrunching my nose up.

She sighs. "I bet she is."

"Nope."

"I'm almost sure of it," she continues, "I mean, I know you don't have low standards. Have you seen me?"

I chuckle, nodding, "You're very beautiful, mi amore."

Covey glances up at me through her lashes. "Is she prettier than me?"

"Not in a million years," I say, my mind made up. "Never. Not even fucking close. She's butt ugly compared to you." Tweaking her nose, I whisper, "You are my fantasy, want, love, and desire. Everything I have ever wanted."

"Well, if Veronica is pregnant and the baby isn't yours..."

I finish her thought, saying, "Matteo was irresponsible. I mean, it was bound to happen. Someone's lifestyle is always yet to catch up with them."

There's a small tear that trickles down her cheek and wets the shirt of mine she's in. "Then why do you care so much?"

I blink and then look into Covey's eyes for the longest time contemplating this fight or flight. I could just say it. I could just get it out. I could fix things right now. And when Covey grabs ahold of my hands, squeezing them twice, I'm positive I'm going to tell her.

But all that leaves my mouth is, "Covey."

She retrieves her hands and takes a deep breath. I see her mouth to herself something along the lines of, 'Be patient,' as she blinks back her tears.

Shit.

"I said I'd try right now," I remind her, pleading and practically begging with my eyes for her to hear me out. "My shit might not come out all at once. It's not that easy—"

"You wanna know what wasn't easy?" she dares, her eyes fuming with a waterfall of tears. "Sitting on the sideline while watching you talk to your brother this morning, and I had no freaking clue what was going on. Wanna know what wasn't easy? Telling you about my parents, my trauma, and about all my crappy baggage. Wanna know what wasn't easy? Giving every single first of mine to a guy who's had way more seconds than I ever will. And you wanna know what wasn't easy? Being completely fucking okay with that because I love him—I love you. So congratulations, love makes you do stupid things."

She wipes her face and shrinks up into a tiny ball. "Now tell me everything right now. Lay it all out on the table, or I will walk out of this conversation and out of this room and out of this house."

"Covey."

"Listen, Coco. I'm not asking for you to be a saint, and I'm not telling you that every word you say has to be perfect. I just want decency." She stares at me with those beautiful hazel eyes of her and I have to look away. "I'm giving a hundred-and-ten percent. That's what you asked for this semester, right?"

"Okay," I say, cursing under my breath. Fuck. "I've said, and I will say it again, that Veronica was nothing and is nothing to me. At all. You are my everything, Cove, everything. The only thing Veronica has is—" I stop talking. She'll leave.

"It's okay, Conrad," Covey whispers, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Amore mio."

"My virginity," I say, shutting my eyes, and I can't even look at Covey before I decide to stand up and walk out of this conversation myself. Fuck. Fucking fuck. Shit. Way to go.

"Conrad!" Covey calls after me but I don't register it. She'll leave. 

She will leave.

I saunter into the bedroom and slam the door before taking my arm and sliding it across the top of dresser, everything falling and clattering against the shiny wood floors. "Fuck me," I growl, pacing around the room.

Covey goes in not even five seconds after and she hugs me, arms tight around my torso and tears flowing down her face, but I try to push her off. "Conrad, no... Conrad, I'm not leaving you... Conrad, you told me... Conrad, I want a kiss—"

I shake my head, grabbing her shoulders to force space between us. "Baby, I'm sorry—"

"For what?" she asks, raising an eyebrow. "I get it, you think I'll leave you because you were in a relationship before me. A serious relationship. One serious enough that she took something precious from you." 

How did you know—

"Well, I won't ever leave because you have something precious of mine that I gave to you," she whispers, biting her lower lip. "Don't push me away."

"I'm not, I'm just upset with everything right now." Maybe that's why this is a big deal... "Like, the girl I gave my virginity to happens to be the girl who's carrying my brother's kid? And then the one girl I want to have a life with happens to be the only option for getting out of working with my dad? What's fair about that? My life is a shitty mess right now, and I don't know what to make of it."

Covey nods, rubbing her hands up and down my arms soothingly. "I love you for telling me these two truths. You did good, Conrad. I get that this is a lot, but I needed you to at least get something off your chest."

I sigh with an upset resolve in my mind. "Well, you got what you wanted. You happy?"

And because she's so fucking perfect, she smiles her Covey smile with the famous nose crinkle and all, nodding. "We can talk about the rest later, but I need you to calm down."

And because I am completely ignorant sometimes, the glare written on my face as my jaw goes taut, I say, "Covey, nothing's solved."

"Your past is in the past," she says, trying to calm me down. "I just need you to be open with me about it."

Finally, I take a deep breath. "Okay, fine. Let's just drop it for now."

"Okay," she repeats, kissing my chin. "But this was a good start."

******
AUTHOR'S NOTE:

i don't even flipping know what i'm writing anymore. in real life, arguments don't make sense because either person can be correct. i guess that's what makes writing fight scenes so difficult. everyone's opinions are valid, and are felt for a reason- lol idk ;-;

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