╔.𖥸. .════════════════╗

𝗖𝗟𝗔𝗥𝗜𝗧𝗬

chapter thirty-four
not because he owns me,
but 'cause he really knows
me

╚════════════════. .❀.╝

THE SECOND SAM texted her, Yasmine, and Moon to meet for brunch, Alyssa immediately answered the call.

Miguel had officially returned from Mexico — safe and sound — with some lighthearted yelling and a very long hug from Alyssa. He had texted Sam that he was coming home and couldn't wait to see her, but considering he had run off to Mexico and didn't see her fight — nonetheless they had a fight on the phone after he hung up with Alyssa — Sam wasn't really faring well with it.

Alyssa looked over Sam's shoulder from her place next to her, staring down at her text stream with Miguel. Sam's fingers hovered over the keyboard, not really knowing what to say.

"I don't know, maybe you shouldn't text him right now," Alyssa suggested. "Eli's getting his new tattoo today, and Miguel and Demetri are with him. If you try to talk to Miguel, Eli and Demetri are definitely going to intervene."

"New tattoo?" Sam repeated, glancing up at her for a second. "What's he getting?"

"A lotus flower. He just wants to cover up the reaper on his chest."

Sam sighed. "I'll just say We should talk tonight." She typed out the message and sent it. "I mean, we do, right?"

Within a couple seconds, two texts came back. They read Can't wait to see you tonight. and How are you?

Alyssa blinked. "That sounds a lot like Demetri."

Sam then turned her phone around to show Yasmine and Moon from their place across from them.

Yasmine chuckled. "Desperate, but cute. Definitely Demetri's doing, but Miguel knows he's in deep shit."

"I just . . . I feel like things have been off lately," Sam admitted. "There's so much I wanna say. Maybe I should just . . . lay it all out?"

"No!" Yasmine quickly snatched Sam's phone out of her hand. "No, less is more."

"I'm with Yas," Moon agreed. "It's better to have these conversations in person. Right, Ally?"

Alyssa shrugged and took a sip of her water. "As long as you don't cry so hard you make yourself sick, your in person conversation will go just fine."

"Mm-hmm," Yasmine hummed. She then handed Sam's phone back to her, having written out a text. "Keep it short, not sweet."

"I'm okay," Sam read. "Should I add a smiley face or something?"

"No!" Yasmine exclaimed at the same time Moon said, "Definitely."

They glared at each other.

Sam looked over at her. "Ally?"

"Do whatever your heart says, babe," Alyssa answered.

With a moment of hesitation, she sent the text.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

AFTER BRUNCH, MOON suggested that they should all go to a spa to relax, noticing all of Sam's tension. The four walked into a room, wearing matching bathrobes decorated in orange and blue swirls. Alyssa glanced around. The place was surrounded by statues and a bunch of other decorations.

"Moon, this place is so . . . you," Sam revealed, taking Alyssa's words right out of her mouth.

"Isn't it?" Moon responded excitedly. "When Eli and I broke up, there was a lot of negative energy." Moon then winced. "Ooh. Sorry, Ally."

Alyssa shrugged. "No worries. That whole thing was just negative energy."

"This place helped cut through the noise. Which is why I brought you here." Moon put an arm around Sam. "You gotta find yourself. Figure out who you really are."

"They also do facials, so . . ." Yasmine added, absentmindedly typing on her phone.

Moon then smiled at all of them and walked off. Alyssa glanced over at Sam for a moment, offering her a small grin, before following after Moon. Moon brought them into another section of the spa, one holding something that looked like a pod that held water in it.

"What is this, exactly?" Sam asked.

"This is a self-actualization pod," Moon explained.

"So like a sensory deprivation tank?"

"Oh, no, no, no. No. They don't call them that anymore. It's not about deprivation. It's about connection with your innermost self."

"Thanks, but I'm still gonna pass," Sam responded. "I have nightmares about drowning in shallow bodies of water."

Alyssa frowned in concern for a moment. Sam had told her all about that nightmare where Tory had showed up at Miyagi-Do and tried to drown her in the koi pond. It was part of the aftermath of the school fight. Alyssa didn't blame her. Considering Tory tried to kill her at the school, it only made sense for Sam's PTSD to have Tory try and kill her in her dreams.

"Wow," Yasmine commented. "That's dark."

"Sam, ever since the tournament, you've been off balance," Moon continued. "It's clear there's been some tension with Miguel. The only thing you're gonna find in this pod is yourself. That's not so scary, right?"

Alyssa put her hand on Sam's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "Why don't we just try it? If you don't like it, we can stop."

Sam eventually nodded. "Okay."

They each got their own pod. Alyssa took off her robe, revealing the black one-piece the spa had provided. She stepped into the warm water and the pod closed behind her. Alyssa lowered herself so she was floating, staring at the top of the tank for a moment. All of the muscles in her body relaxed, and she shut her eyes, allowing herself to delve deep into her mind.

Her mind suddenly conjured up a picture. She was standing in a world that seemed divided half in half — the left, a dark, dismal world, and to the right, a bright, happy world. Obviously, Alyssa went towards the left, but not normally. Her feet pushed off the ground, and her arms felt like wings as she flew in the bright part of the world, leaving the dark one behind.

Before she knew it, her flight ended and her pod opened. Alyssa's eyes slowly fluttered open and she looked up to see Moon standing above her. She let out a small laugh and got out of the pod, taking the towel left by it and wrapping her pink hair in it.

"So?" Moon voiced. "What'd you see?"

"I was a bird," Alyssa said, putting on her robe.

Moon gave her a knowing look. "Did it happen to be a hawk?"

Her face felt warm. "I don't know what I was. But . . . it felt freeing. Like I was leaving all of my past troubles behind and entering into something new."

"I love that," Moon gushed as they wandered over to Sam's pod. "New beginnings is always something good." She then opened up Sam's pod, and Sam immediately got up straight, breathing heavily. "Oh my gosh. I had the most incredible vision. I was a drop of dew glistening in the moonlight." Moon then seemed to notice Sam's panicked state and offered her a hand. "Are you okay?"

"Was your pod broken too?" Yasmine questioned. "My water was freezing."

"Wasn't it enlightening? What'd you see?"

Alyssa frowned at the conflicted look on her face. "Sammy?"

Sam's eyes flickered over to her. She then grabbed Alyssa's hand and pulled her into a more secluded spot of the room. Alyssa slowed to a stop, staring at Sam in confusion.

"Sam," Alyssa began gently. "Whatever you saw, you can tell me."

"So many people were trying to tell me who I am," Sam told her. "And — and then I fought myself, but she was darker, and . . ."

Alyssa nodded in understanding. "I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Miguel. You've had all these pressures on you, perhaps your entire life, and now you have to let them go. The fact that you fought yourself in this vision is revealing enough. This is an internal battle. You can't let anybody else tell you who you're meant to be. You have to find that yourself."

Sam's blue eyes got big, and they started to shine. "I can't . . . Miguel . . ."

She suddenly got what she was insinuating. Alyssa felt her heart break and she reached forwards, taking Sam into her arms. She held onto Sam tightly, only hoping that what was about to happen wouldn't break two people she cared about with her entire heart.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

ALYSSA BOUNDED DOWN her steps, following the sound of the dryer beeping that she somehow managed to hear through her earbuds, which ran all the way from her ears to the back pocket of her jean shorts where her phone was. Her hair was still a little bit damp from the shower she had taken after coming home from the spa, and the two front chunks of her hair were sloppily tied back away from her while two strands framed her face. She blew one of the strands out of her way as she opened the closet door, revealing her washer and dryer. Alyssa slid the laundry basket off of the top of the washer and pulled it to the floor, settling it down on the floor in front of the dryer.

"My baby's fit like a daydream," Alyssa muttered under her breath along with the song, opening the dryer and pulling out her dry clothes to fall into the laundry basket. "Walking with his head down, I'm the one he's walking to."

Over her music, she somehow also managed to hear the knock from her front door. Alyssa pulled out one of her earbuds and glanced back in the direction of the front door.

"Hold on," Alyssa called.

She picked up the laundry basket from the floor and rested it against her hip. Alyssa shut the dryer and the closet door before walking over to the front door. She opened it, only to reveal Eli standing there, his hands shoved into his front pockets.

Alyssa smiled brightly. "Hi, Boyfriend."

Eli laughed slightly at her and gave her a grin. "Hi, Girlfriend."

She stepped aside to let him in. Eli walked into her house and leaned his head down, greeting her with a soft kiss before taking his shoes off. Alyssa's smile widened at him as she shut the front door behind them.

"So my tattoo appointment went well," Eli stated, kicking off his shoes and following Alyssa over to the stairs. "Didn't even hurt."

"Yeah?" Alyssa replied, walking into her room and putting her laundry basket on her bed. After pausing her music and throwing her phone and earbuds on her bed, she turned to him with clasped hands. "Okay, come on, show me."

Eli then tugged his shirt over his head. Immediately, Alyssa's eyes went to the spot above his heart. She gasped at the new tattoo, taking his bare shoulders in her hands and looking closer at it. Instead of the grim reaper was now two circles, showing the top of lotus flowers with another bigger one going right through them.

She looked up into his eyes. "Oh my God, I love it."

Eli raised an eyebrow. "Are you only saying that because you were the one who told me to get a lotus flower to symbolize new beginnings?"

New beginnings. Just like the vision she had. Alyssa felt her heart beat against her chest. Guess her and Eli were more connected than she thought.

"You know nothing else would've covered up your reaper," Alyssa argued lightly, dropping her hands from his shoulders. "What'd you do besides get your tattoo? Anything exciting?"

"We went to a jewelry shop," Eli explained. "Miguel got Sam an octopus necklace, sort of as a peace offering."

Alyssa felt a pang in her chest. Only she knew the true intent of what Sam was going to do when her and Miguel talked later. A necklace wouldn't stop her — even if it did symbolize something from their first date.

"Oh." Eli then tugged his shirt back over his head and reached into his pocket. "Speaking of." He pulled out a small velvet box and extended it out to her. "For you."

Alyssa took the box from him and looked up, giving him a small smile. "What is this?"

"A gift," Eli answered, putting his hands in his pockets. "Open it."

She lifted up the top of the box, and her smile instantly got wider. It was a small silver charm of a hawk. Its wings were extended, and scattered throughout the wings were tiny purple jewels — of course, to represent her favorite hair color of his. She ran her thumb across the metal, feeling all fluttery inside.

"I know you like paper rings, but I also know you like shiny things," Eli said. "So now you can have both. Uh . . ." His cheeks splashed with pink, possibly in embarrassment. "Sorry it's just the charm."

"Eli, just the fact that you got me this in the first place means everything," Alyssa responded. "Don't worry about it. Here." She offered the box out to him. "Hold this for a sec."

He took the box from her and held it. She then reached up and unclasped the necklace that she was wearing around her neck, the same one he had given her so long ago. Alyssa took the hawk charm and slid it onto the chain, right next to the letter A. She then reached up and re-clasped the necklace.

She gently touched the two charms. "You and me on a necklace. It's perfect." Alyssa kissed him softly for a second before pulling back. "Thank you, I love it."

"Consider it a belated birthday present," Eli said.

Alyssa blinked at him. "Don't you mean early? My birthday's, like, in two months."

"No, I mean belated, because I didn't get you anything last year."

She remembered her birthday last year. Her first one without Eli, where she had surrounded herself with her new dojo friends. Sam had given her that friendship bracelet as a present, the same one she never dared to take off her wrist (except for the tournament.)

Alyssa smiled and kissed him quickly again. "Well, nevertheless, thank you. We can chill in a second, I just have to fold my clothes."

Eli walked over and sat on her bed, pulling a pair of jeans out of her laundry basket and starting to fold them. "How was your girls day?"

There was something so sweet and domestic about the gesture that made her heart flutter. She watched him for a second before reaching into her laundry basket and folding a shirt.

"It was fine," Alyssa said. "Brunch, then spa . . . little worried about Sam, though."

"Is she okay?" Eli asked, genuinely interested.

Alyssa sighed. "Sammy hasn't been okay for a while. Not really since the school fight, actually, but . . . lately, ever since the tournament, it's gotten a lot worse. I can tell. We've gotten close enough for me to see the signs."

"How did you and Sam even get close in the first place? It seemed like you were suddenly just best friends out of nowhere."

Alyssa placed a folded pair of leggings on her bed. "Remember that day when I showed up at your house for our movie night, only for you to be watching a movie with the Cobra Kai dojo?"

Eli nodded in understanding. "When I was being a total idiot?"

"Yeah. Uh, I told you I was going to hang out with Demetri, but instead I actually went and hung out with Sam. Her and I just sat on her couch and talked while eating ice cream. It was from there when we both realized we understood each other — I was having issues with you, she was having issues with Miguel, which basically meant we both had issues with Cobra Kai. And then we watched High School Musical 2, which is, like, the ultimate sign of friendship."

His voice got quiet, as if he remembered completely rejecting her that night. "Seems like she kept you above water."

"She did," Alyssa admitted. "It was a weird transitioning point in my life. While you were pulling away from me, Sam was holding onto me tight. She almost kept me . . . grounded, in a way. I mean, I had Demetri, he understood firsthand how I felt because he felt it, too. But Sam and I . . . there are just some things that girls get more. This isn't one of the exceptions. Moon had us go in these pod things to try and find ourselves, and Sam . . . she didn't have the best outcome. She's always too hard on herself. Like, everybody mostly sees her as LaRusso two-point-oh, and all of that stress is causing her to snap, I think. But I never saw her as LaRusso two-point-oh. I just saw her as Sam."

Their conversation fizzled out. Alyssa had put away all of her clothes, and now her and Eli sat against the headboard of her bed. Her head rested on his chest and his arm kept her in close. Alyssa's laptop was in front of them, playing 10 Things I Hate About You. They had already watched Tangled, as per Alyssa's request.

Her phone suddenly buzzed, making the whole nightstand move. Alyssa sighed and reached over, grabbing it and putting it above her head so she could see. It was a text from Sam that read Please tell me you have ice cream, I'm standing outside your house and I'm two minutes away from breaking down completely.

"Shit," Alyssa cursed, sitting up quickly.

"Hey," Eli protested. "What's wrong?"

"It happened." She looked over at him. "Sam broke up with Miguel."

"What? But—"

"At the spa, I knew that's what she meant," Alyssa continued. "She has to find herself on her own. Plus, she texted me asking if I have ice cream. Ice cream is strictly for when we have boy troubles, and she's waiting outside, and she's gonna cry forever." Alyssa quickly stood up. "Oh God, what flavors do I have?"

Eli stood up and stretched. "I guess I should go check on Miguel."

Alyssa turned to him in panic. "Oh my God, I'm sorry. I didn't — I don't want you to go. I'm not kicking you out."

"Lys, it's okay," Eli reassured her. "I should check on Miguel, he definitely needs someone."

She nodded, still feeling guilty. "I'll walk you out." Alyssa then paused. "Maybe don't kiss me in front of Sam, though."

Eli then leaned forwards and kissed her. It was quick, but got the point across nonetheless.

"Thank you for the charm," Alyssa said again as they walked down the steps. "I'll cherish it forever, you know. See you tomorrow?"

Eli nodded and put on his shoes when they got to the front door. "See you tomorrow. Bye, Lys."

"Bye." Alyssa watched him open the door, only to reveal a very shattered-looking Sam. Eli passed by her, giving her an apologetic grin, before heading to his motorcycle. Alyssa turned to Sam with a watery smile. "I don't know what flavors I have, but we can check the freezer."

"Do you think there's vanilla?" Sam questioned hopefully, a tear falling down her cheek as she walked inside and took off her shoes.

"Considering my mom keeps it stocked for you, I think there's a high chance," Alyssa replied, shutting the door and officially looking at Sam. She could tell by the tense muscles that Sam was trying to hold it all together, and she reached out, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Sam."

Sam sniffled, her voice shaking. "Ally."

She looked at her strongly. "Let it go."

And so she did. Sam burst into sobs, falling into Alyssa's arms and crying into her shoulder. Alyssa held onto her tightly, rubbing her back in effort to console her. Their last breakup was angry, and this one was sad. Alyssa knew they would come back, though — it would just take a little time.

•─•°•❀•°•─•

my call it what you want couple <3