❝ 𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐀 𝐁𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐋𝐀𝐕𝐄,
𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐀 𝐁𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑 ! ❞

(18+)

It was noisy outside the tall building. In the inside of the room, Y/N lightly hummed as he toyed with the small butterfly resting on his gloved finger. He smiled softly at the action of its wings lightly flapping.

Meanwhile, in the front, a red imp with white spots splotched on his face paced back and forth to the meeting that's being held.

"Alright, now, I know business has been... A bit slow, lately. Yes, it's no one's fault, okay! I'm not naming any names here... Moxxie."

Blitzø said, targeting towards the imp with freckles as he glanced at him. Moxxie scowled at his boss's remark.

"Now, does anyone have, any bright ideas on how we can get business drumming up again?"

Blitzø asked. Y/N lightly perked up as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his coin. He delicately placed it on his thumb before flicking it up in the air. When the coin descended down, he lightly caught it on the back of his hand before lifting up his hand.

Tails.

He lightly put back his coin back before crossing his hands together, deciding to let the others give their ideas instead of him.

"What about a car wash?"

Millie excitedly giving her idea.

"This is hell, Millie, no one cares about car being clean here! Oh, what about a billboard?"

Blitzø exclaimed as he gestured with his arms as sparkles surrounded his grin. Moxxie scoffed as glared at the wall.

"We can't afford a billboard, sir."

"Helpful, Moxxie, really glad you're in the room right now."

Blitzø hugged Moxxie towards him before shoving him harshly. Y/n lightly winced before turning back his attention on Blitzø.

"Have you guys forgotten what service we provide?"

Blitzø asked as he turned on the TV. The electronic showed some gruesome images of the whole crew killing humans. Y/N lightly smiled when he was shown on screen with beheading a human with his katana.

"Ah, those were the good times."

Blitzø said dreamily as he ate some popcorn.

"I don't need any reminding's, sir, considering you blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious T.V. add last week. One that you additionally paid to run for a full three hours on a channel... Nobody.Watches."

Moxxie explained through gritted teeth as Blitzø paid no attention to it. Y/N sighed as he got his coin out again, just in case.

"Uh, hey, excuse me? What's 'obnoxious' about a super fun jingle, alright? It's a fun distraction when an advertisement spitting bullshit!"

Blitzø explained as Millie smiled at him.

"People love musicals, sir."

Millie agreed with him. Y/N slightly nodded.

"Exactly, Millie! And we're basically doing a musical! Are you going to crush my musical theatres dreams just like my dad did?"

Blitzø switched to Moxxie as he pointed dramatically at him. Y/N blinked with dotted eyes as he sighed with a sweat drop.

"Sir...-"

"'Cause right now, all I see is just my dad's asshole talking to me! Crushing my dreams of being who I truly am inside..."

Y/N made a 'wtf' look before face palming slightly. God, why did he sign up for this job in the first place? Maybe he should have taken that offer from his guardian... He looked up slightly to see Millie flirting with her husband and just became so confused with everything in the room at the moment.

"I can't believe you, Moxxie, after I made you employee of the month-"

Blitzø teared up as he fished out a weird picture of Moxxie who instantly paled at the sight. 

"OK, sir! I'm sorry, a commercial jingle is not comparable to musical theatre. Nobody actually likes the jingles!"

Moxxie explained.

"I liked it!"

Millie disagreed with her husband, causing him to twitch.

"Do no- Do not agree with him, in front of me!"

He heard a light coin flipping sound as he saw Y/N put back his coin on the table. He smiled sweetly at Moxxie.

"Apologies, Moxxie, but I quite enjoyed it."

Y/N explained towards him with a close-eyed smile.

"Oh, not you, too!"

Moxxie held his head in his hands.

"See?! At least my lover enjoyed it." 

Blitzø said smugly as he appeared right next to Y/N before holding him close.

"Sir... We're not dating-"

"Onto the jingle!"

"Kids die for free!~"

The jingle ended. Y/N paid no attention towards the end as he sweat-dropped at Loona's screen for seeing a simulator of Moxxie dying in various ways.

"I'd like to go on record and say that incident was Loona's fault. Dispatch is supposed to give us the right info on the target. It's very simple."

Moxxie finished as he sat back down. Loona rolled her eyes.

"Oh, sit on a dick, Moxxie."

Loona remarked. Y/N just leaned back as he looked up at the ceiling, already feeling done with the meeting.

'Satan, please let this end...'

"You sit! Sit on... a- ngh- on the- d- JUST DO YOUR JOB!"

Moxxie stuttered before lashing out on the hellhound.

"Hey, now we don't blame our screw-ups on Loona, okay? She didn't do anything wrong~"

Blitzø cooed as he cuddled Loona who growled at him.

"Are you kidding me, sir? She's awful!"

The phone rang as Loona picked it up before placing near her ear.

"Hello, I.M.P."

She spoke with a bored tone as yelling could be heard on the other line.

"Loona, I got stabbed! Call Mox-!"

She immediately hung up.

"Happy adoption anniversary, Loonie! I got you a little something!"

Blitzø spoke happily as Y/N stood next to him, looking up at the hellhound.

"Is it a cure for syphilis?"

Y/N blinked as he turned to face Blitzø with a confused expression.

"I- oh."

"THEN I DON'T WANT IT!"

Loona grabbed the box forcefully before smashing it on the ground, revealing a bunch of spiders as it crawled on her. Y/N face palmed as he was held by his boss outside the window.

"I'm sorry, it was spiders!"

"Goddammit."

"Um... uh, excuse me? Did you just fax me an ad for weight loss?"

Moxxie asked as he held up the advertisement.

"No."

Loona answered, not tearing her eyes off her screen off the demon princess singing.

"What- Why would anyone send me this?"

He spoke, confused as he looked down at the paper.

"C'mon, you know why."

"Whoever left the fucking, avocado salad in the fridge, I'm taking it because I have the worst hangover right now."

Loona slammed the fridge as she gulped down the meal.  

"Why would you drink on a work night?"

Millie asked as she turned to Y/N. He hummed as he lightly shrugged before turning their attention back to Loona.

"I'm hung over from this morning, dumbass."

Moxxie appeared from the door as he stood there.

"Isn't that my lunch?"

Loona dropped the box as she held her hands up.

"Y'know what? I can't take this assault right now. I need to blow off some fucking steam!"

Loona kicked the box towards Moxxie's face as she stomped out. Y/N widened his eyes as he rushed towards the window to see Loona kicking an infant away from their mother.

'Oh, dear...'

"Blitz, Y/N! That clingy, rich, asshole is on the phone, says it's urgent and wants to talk to you both! Sounds a little DTF-y."

Loona spoke to the duo standing next to the water tank, plus Moxxie.

"Oh, GOD it was ONE TIME! If we hadn't slept with that privileged asshole, none of us would have access to the living world."

Blitzø said rather loudly as he crossed his arm. Y/N instantly flushed as he coughed before hiding his face with his cape.

"You what?"

Y/N slept soundly as he felt that he was getting picked up. He lightly groaned as he felt his cape being draped over his naked body with his butterfly clip being placed in his arms since his hair was down.

"Got the book, got Y/N~"

Blitzø sang softly as he smirked mischievously at the sleeping owl on the bed before trotting away with the book and Y/N in his arms.

"Got this fucking heavy book!"

He made it outside before placing the book on the edge of the balcony and heaved himself and the other imp in his arms on the edge. He started to lean over as he cursed.

"Oh- OH, SHIT!"

The two fell as they landed on a cake in front of three people. Y/N woke up instantly as he looked down to see the book in between his legs, before becoming a flustered mess since he was naked in front of other people beside Blitzø.

"Sorry we fucked your husband!"

⊱ ━━━━━.⋅ εïз ⋅.━━━━━ ⊰

"BLITZ!"

"WE HEARD YOU ALREADY-"

⊱ ━━━━━.⋅ εïз ⋅.━━━━━ ⊰

"So, what can we do for you this time, Stolas?"

Blitzø asked as he had the phone on the speaker while smiling nervously and playing with a bobble head. Y/N gulped as he nervously bounced his leg.

"There's a political candidate causing trouble up on Earth for a few of my associates. He's trying to convince global warning exists."

Stolas said from the other line.

"Uh, d-doesn't it?"

Y/N softly spoke out, absolutely terrified of what Stolas wants to do with him on the bed this time.

"Well, yes, but more people die if nothing is done about it, and it gets lonely here~"

Stolas spoke in a baby tone. Y/N gave dotted eyes as he glanced at Blitzø who seemed irritated at the call.

"Okay, well now that makes sense."

Blitzø looked down at the phone with bored eyes.

"True..."

Y/N spoke as he started to sweat a bit from Stolas' tone back then.

"You know what happens when I'm lonely, my little imps!~"

Blitzø and Y/N gave widened eyes as his boss rolled his eyes while Y/N started to pray, which he never usually does.

"Oh god, fucking dammit."

'pleasedon'tkillmybottompleasedon'tkillmybottompleasedon'tkillmybottom-'

"When I'm lonely, my adorable imps, I become hungry, and when I become hungry, I want to devour on that sweet *** of Y/N's... **** your **** and lick all of your ***, before taking out your *****, and ******* with more teeth until your BOTH screaming **** LIKE A FUCKING BA-"

Blitzø and Y/N who were visibly disturbed at the comment of Stolas through the phone glanced at each other. Y/N hung up as he grabbed the phone before breaking it in half and smashing it to little pieces with his fist before handing it to Blitz with flushed cheeks and wide eyes.

Blitzø gladly accepted it as he grabbed a blender under his desk before tossing in the pieces and started to blend them with wide eyes as well.

"Eat this!"

Blitzø ordered to Loona who was standing next to him. She grabbed it before gulping it down.

"And you know that bridge over the freeway?"

Blitzø asked Loona as she finished the mixed concoction.

"Yeah?"

"Shit off it!"

Y/N silently cried before slamming his head on the desk, scaring the two.

"Oh, SHIT! SWEETHEART, DON'T DIE ON ME!"

Y/N hid his face in his hands at the memory.

"Look, the point is Loona is a valued member of our family and we don't get rid of our family."

Blitzø spoke. Loona turned to glance at Y/N who nodded slowly as he lifted his hands off his face, showing his red face as his brows were furrowed with embarrassment. Loona gave a small smile before taking a snap of Y/N's flustered state. Another one to her collection.

"We aren't a family, sir! You are the boss; we are the employees! You treat her like she's some troubled teenager. She's more like a meth-addicted homeless woman you let man the phone!" 

Moxxie ranted as Loona slowly raised her middle finger towards Moxxie.

"That is offensive. Without homeless people, I wouldn't have HALF the joy and laughter I have in this life!"

Blitzø explained as he smashed his face against the window towards the two imps outside, one homeless with a sign as the other moved away with disgust. He waved as he gave a suggestive look before closing the blinds.

"While we're on the subject of 'family'. Can you stop finding me and Millie outside of work?"

Moxxie asked as Millie blinked at him.

"C'mon, sweetie, it's not that big a deal!"

Millie said causally. Moxxie's pupils dilated as he heard the sound of crashing glass.

"Excuse me, WHAT?!"

Y/N sweat-dropped at the memories flashing back. He remembered particularly one when Blitzø dragged him to spy on the married couple when they were having their date night. He was looking away as he was playing with a small butterfly, sweet smile gracing his lips, before seeing Blitzø recording the moment with a cameras Moxxie caught him in the act.

"Just.stop.doing.that."

Moxxie seethed through his gritted teeth.

"I don't see what the issue is. There something you don't want me seeing?"

Blitzø countered back smugly.

"...No."

Moxxie's eye twitched as he refused.

"You a baby wiener haver?"

Loona stifled a laugh as Y/N just sat there silently.

"Sir, what you say and how you act is totally INAPPROPRIATE!"

Moxxie lashed out as he stood from his chair.

"Calm down, Mox, you're gonna have another panic attack!"

Millie exclaimed as she lightly set her husband back down.

"I AM CALM!"

Moxxie yelled out. Millie hugged his close as he whimpered while she soothingly stroked his white hair.

"Sh, sh, sh, there, there..."

Blitzø only looked at the scene with bored eyes.

"Look, I don't judge the boring couple stuff you do outside of work hours, so don't.judge.me!" 

Blitzø spoke as he gave lewd hand gestures before crossing his arms.

"Oh, I do judge you, sir! Quite a lot, actually."

Y/N only watched the scene unfold with worried eyes as he put his head down, wanting to leave work. Millie looked around nervously before bringing down Moxxie.

"Mox! He's our boss!"

"No, no, no, it's fine, Mills! Your husband is just... How do I say this without being offensive... retarded."

Blitzø smiled smugly.

"Does immaturely insulting me make you feel better at your sad, single, life?"

Moxxie remarked as his boss came close to his face with a smile.

"It actually does."

"The only reason you have a wife, is because you're easy to manage!"

Loona interjected as Y/N lightly gasped with widened eyes. Millie slammed her hands on the table as she looked at Loona with hate.

"No, he's not, you BITCH!"

Millie yelled at her as she held up her middle fingers towards Loona, who started to growl. Y/N gulped as he glanced back and forth of the drama happening.

"Do NOT talk to my receptionist that way, she's sensitive!"

"Yes, I am!"

Loona growled out. Y/N was about to flip his coin to decide whether he should stop this before hearing a new voice.

"You guys are all fucking assholes!"

Everyone turned over to a kid who was glaring at everyone.

'Right, forgot he was here.'

"Oh, shut up, kid! You're lucky to witness this!"

Blitzø pointed at the kid as Moxxie sighed tiredly.

"Ugh, this company is such a mess!"

Moxxie pinched his nose(?) bridge.

"Alright, let's get back to talking about my outfit."

Y/N raised a brow at Blitzø who was smiling.

"Nobody was talking about that!"

Loona remarked.

"Which is why I'm trying to get that ball rolling. So how does it look, it's good, right?"

Blitzø asked as Y/N only grimaced.

"It's been a literal hell having to pretend I was paralyzed so you fuck-shits wouldn't kill me! But now I want that! I want death..."

The kid groaned before he started to point fingers at each and every employee.

"You, are a selfish greedy clown! And I'm a kid! We're supposed to like clowns! Even the creepy ones!"

The kid pointed towards Blitzø who only raised a brow.

"Hey, now! That's not very-"

The kid only glared as he moved onto to Moxxie.

"If I wanted to hear from a spineless jackass, I'd rip out your spine and ask you some shit."

The child intimidated Moxxie before Millie interjected as she pointed at Moxxie.

"That's my husband you're talking to!"

The kid only giggled, causing the two to become confused.

"THAT'S your husband??? I figured you for a slut, but I didn't know you needed dick, THAT bad."

The married couple growled at the kid with his remark. Y/N landed on heads as he let out a breath.

"Uh, kid, that's not-"

He lightly flinched as the kid pointed towards him.

"Shut up, you fucking tweep! I didn't ask for your opinion, so why don't you go back to sitting your ass all day with that creepy smile and do something productive like, oh, I don't know, START SHOWING EMOTIONS!"

The kid yelled as Y/N widened his eyes. He turned down to face his lap as he started to sweat while clutching his pants. He couldn't show it, not after that...

"HEY, THAT'S GOING TOO FAR!"

Moxxie yelled as Millie went towards the other end to comfort Y/N. Blitzø growled at the kid as the child only ignored them and turned to Loona.

"And you!"

"What? What about me?"

Loona asked.

"Nothing. I don't talk to dogs. I'm a cat person."

The kid smiled lovingly. Loona's eye twitched before going back to her phone. Y/N slumped back with a sad expression as Millie cuddled him close.

"Wow. You know, kid, you kind of are a piece of shit."

Blitzø pointed out as everyone nodded and softly mumbled the same thing. Loona's phone went off as she smiled.

"Oh, fuck! Guys, I just got a text from our client. Guess he was the right target after all."

Y/N raised a brow.

"Who?"

"Him."

Loona pointed towards the kid.

"Me?"

He asked with confusion.

"Yep."

Loona answered.

"They wanted us to kill an actual child?"

Blitzø asked with confused.

"That's what they're saying."

Blitzø sighed.

"Oh, Christ on a stick, I guess there is a god!"

Blitzø grinned as he grabbed a gun before shooting the kid, finally killing that piece of shit. 

"Y'know, folks? With this company, I really wanted to prove that we're capable of doing the same things anyone else can! Like, killing people. So, from us here at the Immediate Murder Professionals group, we promise to settle your unfinished business, or your money is gone and you're never going to get it back and you can write us a bad review, but we'll play dumb to it because it's hell and no one fucking cares."

Blitzø narrated over everyone who was putting the dismembered body is a bag before everyone was engulfed in a hug by Blitzø.

"Y'know, even though this kid was a target, he's still a child..."

Blitzø said solemnly as Y/N noticed that his large tail wrapped around the group as Y/N softly smiled at the actions.

"It's important that... we handle this going forwardly respectfully."

Everyone smiled with glee as Y/N sighed while rolling his eyes affectionally when he felt Blitzø snuggle his cheek with his.

"Please! If anyone has seen my little Eddie, please contact us at- OH!"

The mother of Eddie sobbed as she held an awful drawing of her kid while the male interviewer wanted to get the job done. She stopped as the body bag was thrown in the woman's arms as both humans looked at it with wide eyes.

They looked up to see where it came from to see four demons staring down at them. Blitzø looked excitedly at Y/N who barely landed his coin as he smiled down at them.

"You're welcome!"

Y/N softly spoke before disappearing back into their realm.

𝐘/𝐍 𝐀𝐑𝐓

Ye a reference for you guys if you want :D I just put most of everything white so you can decide on what colors you want! He do be looking feminine, but pink is really manly and womanly :D (Along with all the other genders but ye, it fits anyone-)

Decided to put a beauty spot under an eye because I have one on my chin and I really like them- So you can move it wherever you like. Hope ya'll liked it :D

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓. 𝟏 𝐄𝐍𝐃