❝ i'm really scared this is who i am now. ❞

"SPENCIE." CAT ADAMS greeted with a smile on her face when Spencer Reid and Olivia Griffins entered the room. The lamps mounted on the walls shined through the predominantly dark room. Having only limited time, Spencer immediately asks her, "Where's my mother?" Completely disregarding his question, she responds, "I missed you." Spencer deadpans, "What did you and Lindsey do to her? How did you-"

         Cat immediately interrupted him as she held her hand out, "Now stop. You don't get to walk in here and hiss at me like I'm the criminal. Now, we do this my way." She quickly kicked the metal chair in front of her, Spencer catching it. "Have a seat." She told him.

         Olivia crossed her arms over her chest and observed as Spencer sat down and Cat watched him. "How was prison? Did you like it?" She asked. "No." He deadpanned. Cat questioned him again, "It's not fun, is it?"

         "Unlike you, I didn't deserve to be there." Spencer stated. Cat leaned forward on the table, "How did you stay sane? A brain like yours needs stimulation in such a grey place." He answered, "I worked in the laundry room and I played chess."

         "That's 3, maybe 4 hours, tops. What about the other 20?" She asked, as if Spencer was the one supposed to be interrogated.

         "I read."

         "That's still not enough." She spoke. "You have to. . . go someplace." She pointed to her head, "Up here. Or else you go crazy. Do you wanna see where I go? I'll show you. Come here."

         He leaned forward as she reached towards his face. Olivia interfered, "No touching." Cat looked at her then back at Spencer as she defied the rules, placing her fingers on him, "Close your eyes." She said. He did what she told. "Good, now keep them shut. Sit back and relax. Now, when you open your eyes, I want you to look at me like I'm the first woman you've seen after being in prison for 3 months. Now, open."

Olivia watched as Spencer opened his eyes and smiled. She had no idea what he saw when his eyes opened. She had no idea that he pictured an elegant room with gold and white accents, candelabras and a chandelier lighting up the place, a gold vase of white flowers, his hair pushed back and him wearing a nice suit as Cat's hair was done and she was wearing a beautiful black dress. "Hello, Cat." He greeted.

"You're here!" She exclaimed as she threw her hands up, "You're really here." Spencer spoke, "There's nowhere else I would rather be."

Cat crossed her arms, "You're good at this. You're so good at this, I almost believe you don't want to kill me." He shook his head, "I don't want to kill you."

"No?"

"No."

She narrowed her eyes at him, "What if I let your mother die? Then would you kill me? Or would you just. . . hurt me? Would you pin me down and leave bruises that don't go away?" Spencer leaned forward, "Is that what you want?"

"I guess I just wanna know if you would. If you could." She told him. He softly spoke, "No."

"No?"

"It's not the kind of man I am." He replied.

Cat thought about it for a second and smiled at Spencer, "Do me a favor and tell the brunette over there to step aside, because we're gonna play another game. And this time, we're going to find out exactly what kind of man you are." He turned his head nodding to Olivia, wordlessly telling her it'd be fine. Cat glanced at her, waving goodbye.

She left the room with a stern look expressed on her face. The same kind of look you'd normally see on Aaron Hotchner's face instead of Olivia Griffins'. She now watched the two through the mirror and the video monitor mounted on the wall. "Let's play." Spencer muttered. "Let's!" She smiled.

Spencer leaned backwards on his chair, "So the same game as last time? I answer every question you ask honestly?"

"No, this time you get to ask the questions." She announced. Spencer raised his eyebrows, "About what?" Cat explained to him, "Well, I know a secret. About you. And you can ask me as many questions as you like to figure it out. But you only get one guess as to what it is. Now, guess correctly, I take your phone, I call our friend Lindsey, and I tell her to release your mother unharmed. If you don't. . ." She made a motion of making her hand look like a gun and she put her fingers in her mouth, pulling the fake trigger to insinuate death as she laughed.

"Is there a clock?"

"There's always a clock." Cat played with her hair. She stuck her hand out, "Give it to me." Without his gaze moving away from her, he removed his wristwatch and handed it to her and she put it on her own wrist. "Now, you'll have 4 hours."

Just as he was about to speak, she stuck her finger up at him, "Not yet. You have to wait until the second hand comes around." Spencer asked her, "You want to give me a hint before we start?"

"Do I look like a girl that gives hints?" She asked. He taunted her, "Actually you do." Cat responded, "Okay, how about this? It's a secret you'll never admit to. Go."

Olivia texted Emily about the timer Cat has set for Reid. She kept studying the interrogation, Cat and Spencer going back and forth as tension filled the air around them. "I know what the secret is." Spencer voiced.

         "You do?" She questioned. He nodded, "Why else would you put me through all this?" Cat played with the watch in her hands, "Ooh, phrasing it in the form of a question, that way it doesn't count as a guess. Very smart, doctor." He ignored her comment, "I'm gonna walk you through a scenario and your face is gonna tell me how close I am."

         He continued when she didn't respond, "From the moment I arrested you, you watched and waited for the time to take your revenge. When you learned I was going to Mexico, you took it. You and Lindsey framed me for murder so I'd be put in prison and treated like a criminal, and then you kidnapped my mother so I would know how it feels to have a parent manipulated, because you want to prove that you and I are the same. Am I right?"

         Cat yawned, "Sorry, I couldn't hold that in any longer. What were you saying?"

         "Psychopaths get bored easily." Spencer informed her. She stood up from her seat, "You're right. Let's speed this up. Shall we?" She approached him and sat on his lap, "Why don't you think about all the pain you've suffered in your life. What would I capitalize on, do you think? Is it the death of your mentor, SSA Jason Gideon?"

         Olivia was able to see her play with the buttons of his shirt and touch his face as Spencer told her, "No, because we caught the man who killed him."

         "What about Agent Morgan? And your guilt over not visiting his little boy." Cat questioned. Spencer responded, "I was in prison."

         "Yeah, but you had time before that. Why didn't you go?" Cat reminded him. "Truthfully, I got distracted. I was trying to figure out a way to help my mom. She didn't have time. Morgan, Savannah, and little Bobby did. So there's absolutely no shame in admitting that. Morgan would understand." Spencer explained.

         She whispered, "I agree. That's why that's not the secret." She got up from his lap as he glanced at the mirror where he knew Olivia was still watching.

         "Good job, Spence." She mumbled. She knew he said the wrong name on purpose. Derek has introduced her to his son before, so she knew his name was Hank instead of Bobby. Olivia pulled out her phone to call Rossi.

         "Go ahead, Liv." He replied.

         "So Cat has deep background on Spence. She knew about Jason Gideon's death and Morgan leaving the team for his family." She told.

         "She's throwing him off-balance." Rossi noted. "Yeah, but Spence also purposely gave the wrong name of Morgan's son, and she didn't correct him." Olivia added.

         Emily guessed, "She must have gotten her hands on Reid's confidential FBI file. It would mention relevant team information, but wouldn't name Morgan's baby because of confidentiality reasons."

         "We were thinking she's been getting help from someone inside the prison. This goes deeper than that." Rossi realized.

         They hung up on the call as Olivia payed more attention to Spencer and Cat. He concentrated on her. He concentrated on her micro-expressions, the way she played with his watch, and what he already knew about her. "Working deductively, the secret wouldn't be any of the topics you've already volunteered because you wouldn't want to make it that easy on me."

         "Genius, truly." She commented.

         "So what is left that I wouldn't want to admit?" He thought about it for a few seconds, "Love. Is that what this is all about, love? For my mother? Or, for you. You want me to admit that I am actually in love with you."

         Olivia began fidgeting with her rings as Cat spoke, "Don't get me wrong, I love my fairy tales, clearly, as much as the next girl, but I'm not delusional."

         "Are you sure about that?" Spencer asked.

         "Very sure. So sure, in fact, that I had Lindsey leave a clue for you in your little scrapbook in your house. I couldn't have you come all the way down here and make a guess until I was positive. That is. . . until I tested positive." She started rubbing her hands on her stomach.

         Spencer furrowed his eyebrows, "What, you're pregnant?" Cat corrected him, "We're pregnant." He shook his head, "No."

         "Oh, yes. Mazel tov."

         Olivia quirked her eyebrows, thinking to herself, Even if Cat was pregnant, it couldn't be Spencer's, right? She asked one of the officers for Cat's medical chart. The cop came back and Olivia muttered a thank you as she scanned through the paper. The pregnancy box was marked with a yes.

She looked up seeing Spencer pace, "It's not possible." He said, "Even if you are pregnant, the baby's not mine."

"Except for the part where it is." She told him. "That's completely preposterous. You've been in prison." He deadpanned.

"So have you." She responded. He sat back down, "And we've never-" Cat interrupted him once more, "I know. We've never. . ." She shrugged, insinuating sex. "Ask me how I did it. C'mon, ask me." He rolled his eyes, "How did you do it?"

"I had Lindsey dose you in Mexico." She revealed, "You lost time. And I gave her very specific instructions to get you in the mood."

"What, did she pretend to be you?" Spencer guessed. "Why, would that have worked?" Cat questioned. He leaned forwards, "No."

"Yeah, I know, I know. Believe me, I know exactly where I stand on the Spencer Reid hot or not list. I told her to pretend to be Maeve, Maeve Donovan, the love of your life. Who had her brains blown out right in front of you before you two could even kiss. So dark, yet so useful." She paused, taking a quick glance at the mirror, making eye contact with Olivia for a second before returning her gaze to him. "Or would it have still worked if I told her to be Olivia?"

Her jaw clenched at the mention of her name. She didn't know how she knew about them. The two never filled out any paperwork for their relationship when they were dating since Erin Strauss never found out and Hotch said he wouldn't tell anyone. And the reveal that she used Spencer's late girlfriend as a way to assault him made Olivia absolutely furious. She knew the trauma and devastation Maeve's death caused him. Using someone's trauma like that is horrible, insensitive, and antagonistic, really.

"Don't bring her into this, and you're lying." Spencer stated.

Cat knew Olivia was his soft spot. She knew that if she mentioned her again, Spencer would have lost his mind. Which is why she was already conspiring another plan in her head that she was going to save for the future, and it revolves all around Olivia. She disregarded the first half of his sentence and started quoting what she told Lindsey to say, "Spencer, it's Maeve. It's okay. Spencer, Spencer, it's Maeve, it's okay. Come here. You want this."

        "It didn't happen." He shook his head. Cat smiled, "Hey, I was thinking, if it's a boy, we should definitely call him Spencie Junior." She kept talking as Spencer stood from his seat and left the room, "But if it's a girl, I think we should call her Maeve. I mean, after all, she played such a huge role in her own conception!"

         He stared at her through the one-way mirror. Olivia started softly speaking to him and gave him Cat's medical file, "Spence, we might have something. She's 3 months. The timeline matches, but that doesn't necessarily mean-" She was cut off by the action of Spencer throwing the file at the mirror out of anger. He started rubbing his eyes, "I'm sorry, it's not you. I just need a minute."

         Olivia nodded as he left him alone. She's never seen him so angry. Sure, he's snapped at her a few times when they first met, but it wasn't anything remotely close to this. Cat made his blood boil and she took a rise out of it. Olivia received a call from Emily. "Liv, you there?" She asked.

         "Uh, yeah. Yeah, go ahead." She responded. Olivia heard JJ speak up, "So far, we don't have anything on the prison employees. Somebody in there is helping her, but nobody jumps out as the obvious culprit, and it doesn't help that they're blocking us at every turn."

         "We have something," Tara chimed in, "but, uh, it's out there." Emily told her, "I'll take out there."

         "The gun store owner was more of a libertarian than you would think. He talked about how he never judged his customers or who they love." Luke informed. "That's weird." Rossi commented.

         "Not as weird as when he mentioned Obergefell." Tara told. Emily realized, "The Supreme Court decision that legalized gay marriage."

"You said we were missing something in the relationship between these two women." Luke remembered. "What if it's this?" Tara explained, "The risks Lindsey's taking, the bond she has with Cat, it's not professional. It's romantic."

         "Well, this casts a big shadow over Lindsey's next move. By exposing their plan to us, she knows there's no happy ending, no future with Cat." JJ thought aloud. Luke followed her statement, "And she's going to take Reid's mother with her. That's the ultimate act of revenge against the guy who took her lover away."

         Emily spoke to Olivia, "Liv, what do you have?" She hesitated, knowing she has to tell Emily, but wondering if the news of Cat's pregnancy would just cause more chaos among them. "Will you take me off speaker?" She asked. When Olivia asked that, the team knew that something big happened. Subconsciously, they thought of little theories of what could've happened, but quickly pushed those thoughts aside and worked on what they're supposed to be focused on.

         Emily walked to her office as they finished their call privately, "Are you kidding me? Are you kidding?" She reacted to the news. Olivia continued, "Here's where it gets tricky, do we believe her or not? On the one hand, getting pregnant is a power control move straight out of the female psychopath handbook. On the other hand-"

"If her story is true, it means she sent her lesbian lover down to Mexico to get Reid to. . . ugh." Emily finished. Olivia confirmed, "Yeah, either way, she is pregnant. It's just hard for me to believe that it actually belongs to Spence."

"It could be the person inside the prison who's been helping her." Emily suggested. "Getting pregnant serves two purposes: gaslighting Reid and emotional blackmail against that employee."

"Yeah, but Em, we don't know who that guy is yet. And Luke and Rossi aren't going to in the time they have left."

Emily received an Amber Alert on her phone, "Liv, I gotta call you back."

When Olivia walked back into the room she was just in, Spencer had already gone back inside the interrogation room. "Let's pretend you're telling the truth. That means I guessed it, right? The secret, the one I don't want to admit to? It's my child?" He thought.

"Is that your guess? You only get one, remember?" Cat questioned him. He whispered to himself, but audible enough so she can hear, "No, it's too easy."

"Believe me, getting pregnant with your baby wasn't easy." Cat told him. He sat down in front of her, "You misunderstood, it's too easy emotionally. Because I can take your child from you. The child I had absolutely no role in creating, but a child I would care for better than you."

"That's rude." She replied.

"It's true. You can't be a mother, Cat. I'm not tying to insult you. It's your psychological makeup. You literally do not have the emotional skills to care for another human being. You'd lose interest in your own baby the way a 6-year-old loses interest in a pet hamster. This baby simply means to an end, which is to keep me here playing your game, guessing like a fool, assuming something I never should've assumed in the first place." He explained.

"And what would that be?"

He swallowed the lump in his throat from even thinking about it, "My mother's already dead. She was dead before I walked in here." Cat shook her head, "She's not dead."

"Yes, she is." He stood up.

"No, because that would be cheating and I don't cheat. You cheat." She defended. "I'm done playing." He told her.

"Come back here."

"Goodbye, Cat."

She slammed her hand on the table, "I'll let you talk to her!" Spencer stopped in his steps, knowingly looking at Olivia as she glanced back at him with the same expression. Spencer walked back in the room with Cat as Olivia called Penelope to trace a call on his phone. He handed her the phone and she dialed Lindsey's number, putting the phone on speaker as they waited for an answer.

"You're early." Lindsey said.

"Yeah, I know." Cat told her. "Did he guess?" Lindsey asked.

"No, not yet. We need proof of life." Cat spoke. Lindsey told her to wait as she put the phone near Diana. She screamed for Spencer until he took the phone, asking if she was okay. When she responded with a simple: 'I don't know', a single gunshot was heard. Lindsey ended the call, "Gotta go."

They had no way of knowing what happened. They had no idea that Lindsey actually switched the vehicle her and Diana traveled in and blew up the previous car. Olivia walked in the room with the two of them as Spencer glared at Cat, "What the hell was that?"

"I don't know."

Spencer got closer to her and rested his hands on the table as he leaned towards her, "Lindsey said you were early. Was that a signal?" When she answered: No, he slammed his hands on the table, "Was that a prearranged signal to kill my mother?" He asked, with his voice raised.

"Spence, outside." Olivia sternly warned, knowing this is exactly what Cat wanted. Liv wanted him to calm down, but the anger in his voice blared louder than anything she could've said. "Tell me the truth!" Spencer demanded.

"I am!" Cat yelled. "You want to know the truth? Your mother is an Alzheimer's-ridden moron who's getting dumber day by day, and if she's dead, it's your fault!" She hissed.

In sudden motions, Spencer pushed the metal table to the side. Cat stood up from her seat, but Spencer grabbed her shoulders and pushed her against the wall. Olivia followed him as he wrapped his hands around Cat's neck, strangling her and whispering, "I'm going to kill you."

"Spencer!" Olivia scoldingly spoke, using her strength to push him back from her. Cat's insult got to him, causing his strength to increase far more than usual. Cat enjoyed knowing that this is how far Spencer would go, and everyone knew that. She slightly gasped and coughed for air as Spencer kept mumbling, "I'm going to kill you." Olivia still tried getting him off her, "Spencer, she's pregnant. She is pregnant, stop it!" She reminded. She was able to pull him away from her, her hands still being attached to his shoulders as he panted, "Spence, c'mon."

Cat coughed as she stared at Spencer, her hand intuitively touching her neck. It wasn't until then when he realized what he did. He strangled a pregnant woman against the wall, telling her he was going to kill her. He exited the room, finding an empty hallway where he sat alone on the floor with his thoughts. Olivia left Cat alone as she had gotten a call from the BAU about an explosion from a gas station. Afterwards, she went to go find Spencer and she approached him when she did.

"Richmond County police just reported a gas station explosion. One victim, a male. Whatever Lindsey did, we have to assume your mom's still alive." She informed him. He didn't say anything. He just kept his gaze on her. She decided to sit on the floor beside him with her knees tucked to her chest.

"I'm really scared this is who I am now." He admitted. She softly told him, "No, don't say that."

"Olivia, you don't know. . ." Spencer trailed off, trying to find the right words to explain, but couldn't. "But, I do. I know two inmates, Frazier and Duerson, killed your friend, Delgado, in front of you. And I know they wanted you to move their heroin, and I also know that if you didn't, you would've been next, right?" She finished. He nodded and she continued speaking, "Spencer, anyone in your spot would have done the same thing."

"You wouldn't have."

She firmly disagreed, "Yes, I would. I would've, Spence. If someone was threatening my life, I guarantee you I would. It doesn't make you a bad person. You wanna know who does think like that? That in you doing what you had to do to survive somehow makes you a psychopath? Cat does."

In that moment, the two realized something. They realized Cat had someone watching him in prison to ensure his suffering and report back to her. Spencer came back to the interrogation room, where Cat had sat back down, playing with Spencer's watch. Olivia followed behind, staying back in the observation room where she called Emily to stream the security footage from their interrogation. Reid asked Cat to dance with him, to which she accepted.

Once the team found out Wilkins was the guard working in both Cat and Reid's prisons, they also found a cabin in his name that's in Lindsey's zone based on the gas stations. They quickly traveled to the estate, finding Lindsey sitting on a chair with a detonator in her hand, patiently waiting for a call. Emily and the team were, too. So once Emily got a call that was streaming the prison security footage of Cat and Spencer, she showed Lindsey.

"At first I was furious, because the secret had to be the baby inside you. How could it be anything else? But then I realized that somehow, you knew I liked hurting those men. Now I know it's both things." Spencer spoke.

"So which is it, Spence? Come on, don't fumble it now. You're at the one-yard line."

"You're not pregnant with my child. You got pregnant with Wilkins to put me in as compromised a position as possible. But it should be mine. I wish it were mine. Because you and I, we deserve each other. That is the real secret."

Cat called Lindsey, telling her to kill Diana. She refused, hearing Cat was unfaithful towards her and got pregnant. She put down the detonator, allowing Luke and Tara to arrest her. Olivia walked in the room with Spencer and Cat as she gave him his phone and he took his watch back.

As Olivia and Spencer came back to the BAU, they waited in the elevator where they exchanged triumphant grins after their very long day. When the doors opened, Spencer was met with his mom and the rest of the team. It took a few seconds for Diana to process who he was, but once she recognized him, she immediately embraced him in a hug as he did the same and the team watched the heartwarming moment before letting them be.

Rossi, JJ, and Olivia were walking in the direction of Emily's office, where they found Derek Morgan standing there. "You don't call, you don't write." Rossi remarked. Derek smiled as he hugged the man. "Speak for yourself, he calls me every other day." Olivia chuckled.

"Hey, it's not my fault. Savannah and Hank absolutely love you. Come here, Pretty Girl." Derek joked, wrapping his arms around her as well.

"Well, you don't even give us a heads up when you pop in at 3:00 in the morning." JJ smiled. Derek laughed, "Oh, blondie, come here, come here, come here."

"It is so good to see all of you." The charming man smiled. "Look, I wish I could say I was just here to say hello, but, um, we may have bigger problems." He then looked at Emily, "You see what I'm saying about that text. It doesn't sound like Garcia. You do know what it does sound like."

"A trap." Emily said.

The team all met back at the round table, with the exception of Reid as he was with his mother. Derek, Emily, and Penelope explained the text he got, luring him into a trap. They figured it was Scratch, since it couldn't have been anyone else and since he was targeting them from the start. The team took two separate vehicles to the address sent in the fake text. Emily, Rossi, and Tara were in one while Luke, JJ, and Olivia were in the other.

Suddenly, as they were driving, their SUVs got derailed. When the cars stopped spinning and they thought they were all okay, a large truck came crashing into them. The crash happened so fast, Olivia barely knew what was happening. Before she knew it, her ears started ringing, her entire body was in agonizing pain, and everything then started to be in slow motion. Her eyelids fluttered shut, catching quick glimpses of her surroundings, until her entire vision was just a void of darkness.

ANGIE'S NOTES ☺︎︎
very long chapter compared to the others bc so many things happened this episode but anyways that happened 😀
at least derek was able to make an appearance before this tragedy lol

WE'RE AT THE END OF ACT ONE THO WOO
i'll see you all in chapter 13, the first chapter of
act two😁