𝚖𝚞𝚍𝚒𝚝𝚊
(𝚗) 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚓𝚘𝚢 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚞𝚌𝚌𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚜

(two years later)

liked by jakegyllenhaal, zendaya, and 2.9m others
lilahangelo  um wtf okay uh idk what to say- thank you so much for having me!!! AJHSJKHAKS
tagged: vogue

view 978k comments

---

ffh cast gc

spoilerman
holy shit lilah

shakesqueer
I KNOW I'M FREAKING
OUT AKJSHDKHASJHD

rocky blue
I'M SO PROUD OF
YOU AHHHH

tom's husband
I mean who would've
though you of all
people would
be on the cover of Vogue

shakesqueer
NOT ME 😃

wig snatched
jakie jake you just
insulted and complemented
her at the same time- how

tom's husband
Don't call me Jakie Jake
only Ry Ry is allowed
to call me that

spoilerman
who's ry ry

tom's husband
Ur mom

shakesqueer
does anYONE watch
their interviews???

shakesqueer
they're jakie jake
and ry ry

tom's husband
THANK YOU

tom's husband
I mean honestly if
he wasn't married to
Blake and I wasn't
married to Tom i'd hit
that

shakesqueer
same

spoilerman
i still think you guys
need to settle who
my spouse is

tom's husband
Why can't it be both
of us

shakesqueer
yeah what he said

rocky blue
you guys disappoint
me everyday

shakesqueer
lmao you sound like
my parents talking
to me and my siblings

rocky blue
LILAH I NEED YOU
TO UNDERSTAND THAT
YOU ARE LOVED AND
YOU ARE NOT A
DISAPPOINTMENT AND WE
ARE PROUD OF YOU

shakesqueer
oh ok um thanks

rocky blue
i need confirmation
that she's okay

spoilerman
she's fine

rocky blue
ok then. moving
on- legally lilah
is tom's wife, but
in terms of compatibility
jake is tom's husband

shakesqueer
that seems fair

rocky blue
and even though you
guys didn't invite
me to the wedding 😒....
i'm still rooting
for tilah

spoilerman
it's been 2 yrs z let
it go

shakesqueer
oh i still don't forgive
myself for that
you're fine z

wig snatched
glad you feel at least
sOME amount of guilt
i cried for 3 fuckin weeks
straight

tom's husband
I didn't even know
you guys and I still shed
a tear

shakesqueer
that's nice of you

spoilerman
then there's the fact
that both of you
are more muscular than
me

spoilerman
i mean how tf-

wig snatched
wdym

shakesqueer
i'm pretty sure
thomas is still upset that
yesterday jake, him, and i
all went to the gym and
he was struggling to
keep up with us

shakesqueer
the sad thing is that
he was drenched
in sweat and jake
and i kinda just
laughed at him

shakesqueer
tom i sincerely apologize
but next time you
need to tell us you
need to stop

spoilerman
I'M SUPER COMPETITIVE
MY BRAIN WOULDN'T
LET MY BODY STOP

spoilerman
and i do not accept
your apology

shakesqueer
understandable.
have a great day

rocky blue
ok question:
why after eli and
peter's kissing scene in
ffh did you and tom
disappear for like
half an hour

tom's husband
In Lilah's trailer

shakesqueer

spoilerman
would you look
at the time i gtg
🏃🏽‍♂️💨

wig snatched
you guys are disgusting

rocky blue
married couples 🙄

tom's husband
Yeah by the way when
are you planning on
telling everyone??

shakesqueer
i think it's honestly
a miracle that tom
hasn't told anyone 
except you guys
and his family
oh and haz

spoilerman
the amount of times
i've wanted to tell
rdj that i landed
fucking spiderwoman as
my wife has been
ASTRONOMICAL

shakesqueer
i love you so much
i want to pie you
in the face

shakesqueer
also can we clap
for him because he
didn't spoil anything
for endgame???

wig snatched
👏👏👏

tom's husband
👏👏👏

rocky blue
👏👏👏

spoilerman
thanks guys
cause for about
eight months
i was super stressed out

shakesqueer
it's true he had
to stop drinking
caffeinated tea
because his heart
rate was too fast

spoilerman
😏

shakesqueer
ew no you ugly

shakesqueer
just kidding you're
like the exact twin of
a sunflower

spoilerman
awww

rocky blue
yno the only reason
i think you guys are
made for each other
is because of what
happened at the
infinity war red carpet

shakesqueer
wait wut did we
do

wig snatched
THE INTERVIEWER
ASKED YOU GUYS AT
THE F MARRY KILL
QUESTION AND YOU
GUYS ANSWERED AT
THE SAME TIME

tom's husband
And then you made heart
eyes at each other yes
I watched the interview
it was adorable

spoilerman
that's only because
we were prepared

shakesqueer
yeah cause like 3
yrs ago we were
on a road trip and
bored

rocky blue
made. for. each. other.

rocky blue
that's the only thing
i'm hearing

shakesqueer
holy shit you guys

shakesqueer
i just remembered
something this
morning

spoilerman
OH YES TELL THEM

shakesqueer
JAKE YOU DATED
TAYLOR SWIFT

tom's husband
Yes, I am aware of that

shakesqueer
AND SHE DATED
TOM HIDDELSTON

shakesqueer
AND HARRY STYLES
TF

shakesqueer
she is who i aspire
to be when i grow
up

wig snatched
you're 23 and married
how much more
grown up can you get

shakesqueer
let's be honest i
never really grew
up

spoilerman
lmao u rite

spoilerman
mostly because you
still rub it in my
face that you won
kids choice favortie
superhero award instead
of me

shakesqueer
HAHA IN YOUR FACE

shakesqueer
we're doing press
rn and he won't
stop playing w the
puppies

spoilerman
they're just
too cute

spoilerman
and don't act so
innocent you wanted
to take one home

shakesqueer
TESSA NEEDS A
FRIEND

wig snatched
can yall go argue
somewhere else
i'm getting a manicure
😜🙄💅🤴👊

tom's husband
And you guys have
another interview
that you're already 
late to Haz told me

shakesqueer
right yeah the one
where we shall
trigger tom's dislike
for asmr

rocky blue
YES

spoilerman
if you introduce
yourself as jennifer
again i'm walking out

⋆·˚ ༘ *🕸* ༘˚·⋆

"Hey, it's Tom Holland here."

"Hi I'm Jennifer."

Tom rolled his eyes as Lilah laughed at herself, going to stand up and walk out. But she pulled on the bottom of his jean jacket, dragging him back down into the chair.

He grinned at her and quickly glanced at the camera in front of them, his smile faltering in the slightest. One thing he'd had to be more careful about on this press tour, was cutting down on the contact, inside jokes, the sneaking around, and the rings. They had to take them off before every interview, and it pissed him off.

He just wanted the entire world to know.

And a few times over the past two years him and Olivia had 'broken up', but currently, he was still dating her. Ish.

"This is our wired autocomplete interview," he said, sitting back down in the chair.

Lilah's face lit up when a boy handed her the board and said to him, "You know our friend Jake did one of these interviews with Ryan Reynolds, and they were being basically the human embodiments of crack cocaine, so this should be fun because we've hung out with him every day this week."

The boy laughed as Tom said, "Lilah you can't say crack cocaine on camera that sends a bad message."

"Today we did an interview with him and he talked for exactly thirty seconds about the fake upbringing of Doctor Strange and Benedict Cabbagepatch's career. I think he needs help."

"Anyways," Tom mumbled, taking the card from Lilah and attempting to peel the tape off. He cringed at the sound it made and she rolled her eyes, peeling it off herself. Tom said, ". . . does Lilah Angelo have a twin sister?"

She cleared her throat. "No, I ate her in the womb. So now I have the strength of a grown woman, and a baby." Tom's brows lifted as he stared at his wife. She turned her head to look at him. "I'm just kidding I have two younger sisters."

"Okay then," he said while she peeled the next piece of tape off. "Is Lilah Angelo left handed."

"Yes it's the one thing that makes me interesting."

"Is Lilah Angelo dead?"

"I was. For about four months." She shook her head and clamped her lips together.

Tom read, laughing, "Who is Lilah Angelo?"

She chuckled a bit and stared into the camera. "I'm secretly Peter Parker."

"Or are you secretly Elizabeth Olsen?" Tom asked. "Because last halloween you dressed up as Scarlet Witch."

She started to pull the next tape off. "Yeah, and you were Sherlock Holmes. It was the most English thing you could have been."

He read the next line, "Where does Lilah Angelo live?"

"I live in South West London, darling," she said with an accent, winking at the camera.

Tom let out a laugh, "Does Lilah Angelo have an English accent?"

"Sometimes," she answered. Pointing to him, she added, "But it's mostly because I hang out with him every single day."

"Is Lilah Angelo afraid of anything? No she isn't, actually. My mate Harrison and I took her to a haunted house once, and she didn't even flinch." She peeled off the next one and he read, "Does Lilah Angelo have tattoo? Actually she does, on the bottom of her foot. We got them matching," he said, doing a little dance with his shoulders. She nodded and pulled off the next one. "Did Lilah Angelo go to college?"

"Well I was thinking about going, but then I got an audition for a Marvel movie. So don't stay in school kids," Lilah said with a bright smile.

Tom read the next one. "I'm really excited for this one—how did Lilah Angelo John Mulaney meet?"

She huffed a laugh. "I met John Mulaney a few months ago on the streets of New York, and he was walking his dog Petunia in the stroller, you know how he is. It was the greatest experience of my life." Tom stared at her, beaming. "But I met John Mulaney and he wasn't wearing a suit. Very weird experience. Although he talk about me in his SNL monologue."

"She just stared at the tv with her mouth wide open. It was hilarious," Tom said. Lilah lightly punched him in the arm. He read the next line of text, "What was Lilah Angelo childhood like?"

She scrunched up her nose and looked into the camera. "Moving on . . ." Lilah peeled the next one off and said, "Oh I can answer this one. Who was Lilah Angelo's first celebrity crush? Zendaya. Obviously." The same boy handed her another card, this time with Tom's name on it. She gently set down the other one. "Okay . . . who was Tom Holland's first celebrity crush?"

He didn't even hesitate. "Zendaya. Obviously."

"Okay then. Is Tom Holland strong?" Lilah stared straight into the camera lens. "Do you see him? He's weak as hell. He can't even peel the tape off of these boards." One look at him and she immediately changed her answer, "No I'm joking. Thomas can and will demonstrate how fast he can curl a one pound weight."

He glared at her and read the next question. "Does Tom Holland wear glasses? No, when I wear glasses it's a fashion statement." He gave the camera a dashing smile. "But everyone else in the cast does wear glasses. If I'm being honest I feel a little left out," he sniffled.

"That's not completely true," Lilah said. "A lot of the time he wears my glasses."

"Yeah and you are legally blind."

"Anyways," she peeled the next one off, "does Tom Holland have a spidey sense?"

"Yes I do," he said. "I can always tell when Lilah's going to wake me up in the mornings. But that might just be because I've memorized her footsteps—" From behind the camera, Michael sent him a glare. Tom cleared his throat, "And that's all you'll ever know."

Lilah chuckled a little bit, but he could tell it was slightly forced. She peeled off the next piece of tape. "How did Tom Holland find out he was Spiderman—oh I know this. He found out like twenty minutes before I did on Instagram." 

"And then I called Sydney and she was like: 'oh I forgot to tell you—' It was weird."

Lilah ripped off the next one. "How did Tom Holland get famous? Lip sync battle."

"Ah yes the only time you were ever attracted to me." Another glare from Michael. "But yes. The weird thing is that I get more compliments for that than any of my actual work."

"Because you were amazing in it," Lilah reasoned. "Even I complement you more on it."

"Every week, I'm aware." Tom laughed and kissed her forehead.

Lilah was obviously fighting the blush that rose on her cheeks as she peeled off the next paper. Amazing that he still made her flustered after all their years together. "Tom Holland croissant. What a great question. Moving on."

She set down the board carefully and thanked the girl who handed her the next one. Tom held it and answered the questions while Lilah read them aloud.

"Can Spiderman feel pain?" she asked.

Tom faked sniffled, "eVeRyDaY."

"Where did Spiderman and Spiderwoman go after the snap."

"Canada."

"Does Spiderwoman wear shoes?"

"Only converse," Tom said.

"Does Spiderman have a son?"

"Yes, his name is Ishmael."

Lilah nodded, "Confirmed: Harry Styles and Spiderman are married. Does Eliza Porter have ADHD?"

"Well you have ADHD so yes I would assume yes."

She set down the board and thought for a moment. "Do I have ADHD?"

"Based on your every day activity and medication status, yes."

"Okay . . . does Peter Parker have a sister? OOOH I know this one. In one of the comics Peter actually does have a sister, her name is Teresa Parker and she was secretly adopted by Mary and Richard and kept a secret."

Tom blinked at her. "You amaze me."

"Aw thanks. You're pretty neat too," she threw him a cheeky grin. "Can Spiderman pole dance?"

"This is a suggested question? Okay uhm . . . I would say he'd be better at pole dancing than most. Because of the sticky hands," he said.

"Can Spiderman get drunk?" Lilah perked up, "I have this little theory that I completely made up and it's not true—that in a different world Eliza and Peter both got drunk and that's how they confessed their feelings to each other, but it's not true. It'd be pretty cool if it was though."

"Yeah and they'd probably call Tony Stark to come and pick them up. That'd be awesome."

Lilah nodded in agreement. "Okay next question. Can Spiderwoman beat batman? Hell. yes. Can Spiderwoman beat Wonder Woman? Hell. no. Gal Gadot is too powerful for me," she ripped off the next paper, "Does Spiderman have a lair?"

"That would be so fucking cool," Tom said. "I feel like he would build it with Ned or something like that. On the top bunk of his bunk bed from Homecoming."

"Exactly. Now, the final question: do Eliza and Peter kiss?"

Tom and Lilah looked at each other, then the camera, then each other, then the camera again.

"That was our autocomplete interview, thank you for watching. Go see Spiderman Far From Home in theaters sometime in July," Tom said, grabbing the card from Lilah's hands and attempting to break it in half.

She watched him for about a minute before picking one up off the ground and easily ripped it apart. Tom gawked at her. "Maybe I could beat Wonder Woman," she shrugged.

"I have full confidence that you could, Lilah darling," he said, smiling at her.

The little red light that was above the camera went off, and the boy gave them both a big thumbs up, thanking them for their time. Michael walked into view, somehow texting on his phone and directing his infuriated look at Tom at the same time.

"What the hell was that?" Michael exclaimed. The boy who was operating the camera's head popped up. "The forehead kiss, the nicknames, the hints—it's been two and a half years, how can you not just for one interview not drop any hints?"

Lilah gulped and kept her head down, gazing at her lap. Tom's jaw flickered as he gritted his teeth together and glowered at the man in front of him. He was so sick of these talks. It was always the same.

Don't touch each other, don't talk to each other, don't make eye contact—always the same.

Hold Olivia's hand, look like you're in an interesting conversation with Olivia, stare deep into Olivia's eyes for the paparazzi pictures.

Every day he told himself it was for a good reason, that this job was worth it—but every day those reasons were becoming less and less, and he was becoming more and more agitated.

After Michael finished his lecture, Tom couldn't bring himself to look Lilah in the eyes, not after he'd made her listen to that. But he felt her connect their hands together and lean her head on his shoulder. He turned to press a kiss to her head, muttering a few sweet nothings.

The blonde haired boy who had handed them the cards during their interview slowly walked up to them. Him and Lilah quickly separated their hands and stood up from the stools they were sitting on.

"Hi, my name Is Connor," he said, waving a hand in the air while he talked, "and I just wanted to say fuck that guy, honestly you two are the cutest couple ever."

Lilah smiled and glanced at her feet. "Thanks Connor."

"Yeah you're welcome," he pursed his lips. "Also I'm pretty sure I know both of you guys from somewhere . . . and not the tv screen. I mean obviously you guys are Peter and Eliza—but- wait does one of you know Benjamin Hak?"

Lilah tilted her head to the side. "Yeah I do, he's my friend."

"Oh he's my boyfriend! That's why I know you. Okay, well, have a good day, I'd suggest firing whoever that guy was, and . . . bye," Connor said, going back to do his job.

Tom stared at him with his mouth wide open, while Lilah just blinked. "I suppose this is payback for not inviting Ben to the wedding," she said.

"What a small world we live in," Tom shook his head and linked arms with Lilah. "That was so spiritual, wow."

"You could become a poet."

"Or maybe a professional fortune teller," he suggested.

"Yeah but knowing you, you'd probably get all of your content from fortune cookies," Lilah said.

Tom nodded. "You're probably right."

---

liked by thprivate, zendiea, and 11 others
unstableangel  an almost 23 year old man licked jake gyllenhaal's hand. and yet i married him. ffh press tour is kinda fun though

thprivate  ok not fair- you talked about crack for a whole 20 seconds today
↳unstableangel  and yet you married me
↳thprivate  alright that's my fault i want a divorce now
↳unstableangel  no because then you won't get to see my ugly face in the morning
↳thprivate  dammit you're right i take it back now

zendiea  he took your glasses again didn't he
↳unstableangel  yes he did
↳zendiea  GET YOUR OWN DAMN FASHION-STATMENT GLASSES TOM
↳thprivate  but hers are so much more comfortable

eveyangel  i think this account really is just becoming your fan account for him

eveyangel  honestly you need to get a grip on life

anniebel  eveyangel i think she might be going clinically insane

annibel  but do we do something about it???
↳thprivate  no i like her this way
↳annibel  i don't think she's changed since her senior year in highschool
↳thprivate  exactly

eveyangel  yno what i just realized- tom you're my brother in law that's so cool
↳thprivate  just now you realized this???
↳eveyangel  leave me alone i'm slow

lifeisnotaloha  did you make that meme up there
↳unstableangel  yes i am professional meme maker
↳eveyangel  that's actually how she started her career
↳lifeisnotaloha  lmao loser
↳unstableangel  I PROVIDED FOR ALL THE MARVEL FANS

harryhoeland  i think the meem is amazing
↳unstableangel  thANK YOU BRO

thprivate  anabel can we come over for icecream we're like 2 blocks from your apartment
↳annibel  shore i have lots of options because z is a monster smh
↳zendiea  I LIKE ICECREAM
↳annibel  i know. you screamed it at my face this morning

⋆·˚ ༘ *🗡* ༘˚·⋆

"Oh I forgot one thing!" Tom exclaimed as they walked into Anabel's apartment complex. He dug something out of his pocket and turned away from Lilah. "Close your eyes," he told her. Lilah sighed and covered her eyes with a hand. "Okay open!"

When she opened her eyes, there was Tom on one knee. She grinned down at him and shook her head. Every time they'd taken the rings off, which was mostly just this summer, because of the press tour, he'd purpose to Lilah.

Because apparently the first time wasn't enough, and 'I have a stupid idea' was not an adequate way to purpose. Personally, she thought it was the best way to do so.

"That's the fifth time this week, Thomas. It's only Tuesday."

He got up off the floor and slid the ring onto Lilah's left hand. "I know. I just really like you."

"I really like you too," she smiled at him. Tom leaned down the small distance that was between them and gave her a quick kiss. He was about to pull away, but Lilah deepened the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck. His hands fell to her waist, squeezing her hips quickly before detaching their lips and running away, towards Anabel's apartment. "Bastard," she muttered, running after him.

It took her a while to catch up, but that was just because the elevator was always broken and they had to take the stairs. She could hear his footsteps echo throughout the stairwell about two flights above her, until they stopped.

A fizzing sound reverberated on the walls that had Lilah halting her steps for only a second, then sprinting up the stairs to go find Tom.

She saw a tint of orange, heard Tom let out a quick scream, and then absolute silence.

The silence was the worst part of it all.