𝚖𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚑𝚕𝚊𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚊𝚙𝚎𝚒
(𝚗) 𝚊 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚠𝚘 𝚙𝚎𝚘𝚙𝚕𝚎, 𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑 𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚘𝚝𝚑 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚛𝚎, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚌𝚑 𝚗𝚎𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎𝚐𝚒𝚗

dumbass

asshole
this bitch-

asshole

asshole
FUCK YOU
TOM YOU CAN'T
KEEP DOING THIS
TO ME

asshole
ur hawt

dumbass
DID YOU MAKE A
DEBBY RYAN MEME
OUT OUT YOURSELF-

asshole
YES I DID BECAUSE
THIS IS WHAT YOU
HAVE MADE ME
BECOME

dumbass
i was just trying
to make you swoon

asshole
well it worked
dumbass because
now i'm blushing
and lizzie is staring
at me weird

dumbass
yeah i was working
out with chris and
he's confused
as to why i took that
picture

dumbass
i just can't help it
wink wonk ily

asshole
wait chris pine
is there

dumbass
no

asshole
hemsworth??

dumbass
no

asshole
PRATT???

dumbass
no

asshole
oh so it's evans

dumbass
no it's jamal

dumbass
he wasn't joking
he's actually wearing
the acrylic nails

asshole
AHAJHSKDA

dumbass
i like that laugh
AHAJHSKDA

asshole
did you just make fun
of my keyboard
smash

dumbass
yes

asshole
ily

dumbass
ily

dumbass
shit okay olivia is
coming over i
has to put a shirt
back on

asshole
i have yet to meet
her
how is she

dumbass
kind of annoying
actually
she asked if she
could come to my
room for sexy time
and i was like wtf
no i am married

asshole
who says
sexy time

asshole
wait you're married-

dumbass
oh did i not tell
you

asshole
no?
how long have
you been married?
wait did we have an affair?
am i the other woman 🙊

dumbass
i was talking
about you asshole
i fully intend to marry you

asshole
oh that's nice

dumbass
oH tHaT's niCe
i basically just proposed
to you and you choose
to say that

asshole
what was i supposed
to say you just
proposed over
text

dumbass
only because i'm not
allowed to see
you outside of work 🙄

asshole
ik i miss you

dumbass
ok that's not true
i saw you ben and z
having makeovers
last week

asshole
only because i was
crying on the floor

dumbass
you know i feel
like you're becoming
more in touch with
your feelings and
i'm proud of you

asshole
thanks bro

dumbass
what did i tell you
about calling me
bro

asshole
is olivia still bothering
you or do i need to
come over there
and beat a bitch

dumbass
in the mood for
punching someone?

asshole
amongst other things

dumbass

asshole
NOT LIAM-

dumbass
yes liam.

dumbass
and yes olivia is
still here smh 🙄

dumbass
she looked over my
shoulder and asked
who the asshole was
in my contacts

asshole
 and what did you say

dumbass
"THAT'S MY WIFE"
-john mulaney

asshole
i love you so much

dumbass
shut up no way

asshole
why aren't we
together?? i forgot

dumbass
cause people
🎶suuuuckk🎶

asshole
right yeah

dumbass
but guess what-
after our contracts
are over we can
run away together
off into the sunset 

asshole
ew no let's
get married in a
dark alleyway

dumbass
okay

dumbass
or a castle

asshole
or on top of a
cliff

asshole
lmao the best
way to test out
a trust fall

dumbass
LILAH NO-

dumbass
but yes i'd marry
you on top of a cliff

dumbass
in a dumpster fire
even

dumbass
and maybe john mulaney
could marry us

dumbass
WAIT LILAH MAYBE JOHN
MULANEY COULD MARRY
US

asshole
YOU AND YOUR
BRILLIANT MIND

dumbass
YOU AND YOUR
BRILLIANT EVERYTHING

asshole
i really wanna
make out w you rn

dumbass
i really wanna
make out w yOU rn

dumbass
and apparently
olivia also wants to
cause she just started
working out with
chris and i and took
her shirt off

asshole
hey that's my move

dumbass
lmao chris looks
like he's trying not
to tell her to fuck off

dumbass
it really is a funny sight
you should come
down here

asshole
no actually i'm not
at the hotel
lizzie is forcing me
to walk with her to
a nail salon
we're on our way back
though

asshole
apparently because
i've never had a
manicure i wasn't
"cultured" enough

dumbass
can she paint
my nails too

dumbass
i was thinking of
getting yellow

asshole
look at her

her smiles are giving me
a headache

asshole
she's so cute
though 🥺🥰

dumbass
why don't you
just leave me for
her then 🙄

asshole
tom we broke up
last week

dumbass
still 🙄

asshole
you have a girlfriend
already

dumbass
still 🙄

asshole
maybe i will leave
you for lizzie

asshole
wait no i forgot
she's marrying
aubrey plaza
nvm i'm still alone

dumbass
you could come
to my room tn 😏

asshole
no cause then i
will be the other
woman

dumbass
k then i'll just
sleep with olivia

asshole
don't even joke
about that man

dumbass
she just told chris
that one direction did
actually write olivia
about her ofc i'm not
going to sleep with her

asshole
you could come
to my room tn 😏 

dumbass
ah how the turn
tables

asshole
did i mention
i love you??

dumbass
did i mention
i'm rlly tired

asshole
no why are you
tired

dumbass
i haven't slept basically
all week

dumbass
you haven't been
in my bed with me

dumbass

asshole
awh how sweet

asshole
i don't sleep anyways
so i'm immune now

dumbass
did you mix up your
melatonin and adderall
again

asshole
ok that only happened
six times it's not
going to happen again

asshole
btw ur hair
looks nice

dumbass
thanks i brushed it

asshole
did you really

dumbass
na i woke up like
dis ✨🧚‍♂️💅

dumbass
omg lilah

asshole
omg tom

dumbass
chris just told me
they gave us fake
scripts

asshole
WHAT

dumbass
I KNOW WAIT
HOLD ON I'M READING
THE NEW ONE

asshole
WE PRACTICED FOR
MONTHS AND EVEN
ALREADY FILMED SOME
SCENES AND IT WAS
ALL FAKE???

dumbass
SPIDERMAN'S IN
SPACE????

asshole
hold on lizzie and
i just got back to the
hotel- there's a package
waiting on the bed

asshole
i'm assuming it's
a bomb but that's
just my mind

asshole
omg it's the scripts

dumbass
holy shit ok wait
i got to the end

asshole
HALF OF US ARE
GOING TO DIE????

asshole
WHAT THE FUCK
KIND OF MOVIE IS THIS

dumbass
woah did you read
our death scene

asshole
"peter and eliza confess
their love to each other
before turning to dust:
room for actors to improvise"

dumbass
how romantic

asshole
tf i never learned
to improvise

dumbass
half of spiderman
homecoming is literally
just us improvising

asshole
ik but still that's
kind of a lot of
pressure

dumbass
pls you'll be fine

dumbass
also if you don't
get nominated for
an oscar for your
performance in
homecoming i am
suing 

asshole
but literally none
of our movies have
come out
except for civil war

asshole
 and in like three months
i'm leaving to go to
new zealand

dumbass
wait what
why

asshole
i'm in a tv show

asshole
HOLY SHIT TOM
I'M GOING TO BE IN
A TV SHOW

asshole
AHHH I'M SO EXCITED

dumbass
you have known
this information for
six months

asshole
IK BUT I'M STILL
EXCITED

asshole
and it's an all girls
cast dude omg

asshole
i can't wait to
meet them

dumbass
yay then you'll
have more friends

asshole
right yeah that'll
be nice

dumbass
ok i gotta go olivia
said she wanted
me to take her to
lunch so i guess
we're doing that now

dumbass

asshole
have fun ig
lizzie is now
forcing me to watch
mlp with her so
that'll be fun...

dumbass
well it was nice
to talk-ish to you

asshole
can we ft later
i wanna see your
face

dumbass
this face

asshole
yes 😩

asshole
you look like you
wanted to be a ninja
turtle for halloween
but couldn't afford
the proper mask

dumbass
wow thanks

asshole
i'll call you laterrr

⋆·˚ ༘ *🗡* ༘˚·⋆

lilahangelo added to their story...

---

"Why are you all here?" Lilah asked, scanning the room.

"Because you need to tell us what the hell is going on with you and the British one," Robert mocked her.

"Yeah okay sure—but you're all here," she told him. The entire cast was in her hotel room, most of them had popcorn in hand, spread out across the floor, bed, and a few chairs. They'd barged in five minutes before, like a stampede of animals.

"We've gotten over it," Evans said, putting his hands on his hips.

Chadwick spoke up, "Just tell us why you guys won't talk to each other."

Lilah sighed, "I've talked to him plenty of times."

"But not outside of filming!" Scarlett exclaimed.

"We thought Tom being with Olivia was just a publicity stunt," Robert said. "How come she literally follows him everywhere? Why can't they just occasionally go on a public date?"

"Lilah today I saw on a Dove chocolate wrapper that you need to follow your heart," Hemsworth said. "I don't know what that means but I think it was meant for you."

Lilah cut him a glare. "I'm not going to take advice from a Dove chocolate wrapper. I just want Tom to be happy."

"Well I don't really think he's happy at all with this situation. She kept trying to seduce him yesterday while we were working out," Evans rolled his eyes. "He looked like he was going to punch her in the face."

"As he should," Elizabeth said, taking a big gulp of her glass of wine. Sebastian hurried over to her, taking the cup from her hands. And finishing off for her. She scowled at him.

Hemsworth added, "I could throw her out of his room if you wanted."

"She's in his room?" Anthony questioned, raising his brows.

"Yeah I saw her slip in there before we came in here," Hemsworth shrugged his shoulders.

Everyone in the room stared at him, blinking. "And you didn't think to tell us this?" Robert said pointedly. He shrugged again.

Lilah, Evans, and Chadwick all rushed out of the room and across the hall to Tom's. Lilah knocked on the door and quickly opened it, too impatient to wait for it to be answered.

Her eyes first went to Tom fast asleep in his bed, curled up under the covers. He always was a deep sleeper.

Once, back at their shared apartment, Eveline and Lilah found him sleeping on the couch, the tv still on in the back round. The volume was almost all the way up and yet he slept through it, but when Eveline brought out her hidden water gun that she kept with her at all times and squirted him in the face with it, Tom had sat up at once, his fists clenched together.

Something like a spider sense in itself.

Lilah's eyes then snapped towards a sound in the bathroom, and a woman with blonde hair came out, dressed in what looked to be black lingerie.

Lilah immediately covered a hand over her eyes, turning around.

She heard Chadwick whisper, "For goodness sakes." The annoyance in his tone was evident.

"There is a girl who's basically naked, and most likely did not want to be seen like that by any of us. Of course I'm not going to look," she said sharply.

Chris huffed a laugh. "I think you're missing the point here, Lilah."

Chadwick took the hand off of her eyes. "You literally said it yourself. There is a girl in Tom's room who is basically naked."

Lilah's eyes grew wide as she spun around to face the girl. She was a few inches shorter than herself, her blond hair going just past her shoulders. Lilah recognized her, coming to the realization that this was Olivia.

Olivia looked like the person who always had an idle smirk on her lips, as she did now. Always had a plan for what she was going to do next.

"Who are you?" Olivia asked, her tone innocent.

"Lilah. Nice to meet you," Lilah ground out.

Olivia leaned against the threshold of the bathroom, crossing her arms—the lines of her chest becoming more refined. She clenched her jaw.

"I was just about to wake up Tommy over there," she made a small gesture to Tom. "Give him a little surprise."

Chris whisper-yelled, "Get out!"

Olivia just stared at the three of them. The small smirk on her lips was starting to irritate Lilah more than she liked. Tom began to stir in his sleep, yawning and sitting up.

Lilah's eyes met his and a wide smile grew on his lips. "Lilah," he whispered, his voice slightly raspy from sleep. "What are you doing here—" He stopped when he saw all the other people in the room.

But his entire face fell when he saw Olivia in her . . . outfit.

The emotion in his voice was gone when he spoke to her, "What are you doing here."

Not a question.

The tiny smirk on Olivia's face disappeared. "Who is she?"

Lilah fought the urge to say his future wife—and just stayed quiet. Bit her tongue to keep from saying it.

"My—" Tom started, a muscle flickering in his jaw, ". . . friend. Lilah."

"Well, I think that maybe when all these people are gone, you and I can," Olivia walked over to Tom's bed and whispered something in his ear.

Lilah started to run towards her, but Chadwick and Chris held her back, keeping her from tearing her apart. They each held up one of her arms, dragging her out of the room.

"Let me at her," Lilah hissed. "I am going to beat her ass."

"I have no doubt that you will, but if you try and beat her ass, you'll likely kill her on accident," Chadwick said.

"Put me down."

They didn't respond. Lilah tried kicking at them, almost like a child, but neither of them budged. Curse them and their manliness.

When they eventually did set her down, back in her hotel room with the rest of the cast, she crossed her arms and pouted. When everyone else was preoccupied with their own conversations, Lilah made a run for it, but ended up running into Hemsworth's chest, and fell back onto the floor.

"I just want to punch her in the nose," she said.

Everyone in the room said irritatedly, "No, Lilah."

"Okay that's it," Scarlett threw up her hands, "you and I are going to get drunk."

⋆·˚ ༘ *🗡* ༘˚·⋆

liked by tomholland2013, chrisevans, and 785.9k others
lilahangelo  if you look closely, you can spot a wild me. oh and scareltt took me out for drinks
tagged: scarjo

tomholland2013  are those swimming goggles
↳lilahangelo  yes and what about it
↳tomholland2013  nothing you look great

username1  #tilah

robertdowneyjr  #tilah

chrisevans  oh good she's fine now
↳scarjo  fine isn't exactly the word i would use...more like currently numbing the pain
↳chrisevans  okay then
↳scarjo  it's what i do best
↳chrisevans  a-are you okay???
↳scarjo  no lol 🤪

elizabetholsen  can't believe you guys went without me smh 😒
↳sebastianstan  lizzie you and i drank ourselves stupid like an hour ago i think you're good
↳elizabetholsen  oh yeahh right AHAHHAHHA
↳robertdowneyjr  someone go over there and makes sure they don't sleep with each other
↳sebastianstan  haha too late jk unless

zendaya  scarjo how is she
↳lilahangelo  slowly dying inside
↳tomholland2013  same
↳scarjo  she's fine. although there is this guy trying to hit on her lol
↳tomholland2013  what
↳lilahangelo  yeah he's kind of cute
↳tomholland2013  what

zendaya  i mean get it i guess
↳tomholland2013  no no no lilah don't get it
↳lilahangelo  imma talk to him
↳tomholland2013  no don't do that
↳lilahangelo  oh cute his name is jonathan
↳paulrudd  like thor's hammer?

username2  lmao tom's jealous
↳oliviarobinson  we're actually in a relationship lol
↳username2  oh you and lilah??? congrats!!!

tomholland2013  be safe please

author's note;
no okay i lied this might be my favorite chapter