𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐂𝐊𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐄
chapter twenty; The Loneliest Lifeboat
" You sound like someone who found a little bit of hope. "

  DOTTIE FITZGERALD WAS sitting on the velvet sofa in the Gryffindor common room that had always made her think about the story of the velveteen rabbit, besides Peter Pettigrew who smelled just vaguely of firewood and sweets, when Salem came in.

  Dottie didn't notice at first, all too enamored with Peter's expressive movements as he recounted an adventure with Remus the night prior. Their destination had simply been the kitchens, but the way he told it had one believing they'd fought a dragon and won.

  And Salem lingered, behind a bookcase like it was her forte. She found herself smiling, without even meaning to, as Dottie doubled over in laughter at Peter's sudden exclamation. 

  Maybe they weren't really meant to be friends forever. Not in some tragic way, but Salem Gerard realized as Dottie Fitzgerald sunk down beneath Peter's arm, that she'd always held her back. 

  Salem was the reason Dottie didn't have any other friends until that year— the girl had always been so focused on taking care of Salem Gerard that she'd abandoned all hope of a life for herself. 

  But then Salem started playing chess and she met Lily, Salem hung out with Sirius and ran around with James and Dottie could breathe enough to live her own life— and maybe it was better like this.

  Because, sometimes, people just drift apart. There's no lingering anger or hatred, no weight of distaste— sometimes, friendships simply fall short of forever.

  So Salem tiptoed to the stairs, earning Dottie's attention when one creaked. And Dottie, too, faintly smiled at the idea of the redhead sneaking back from late-night escapades with her own friends.

  "Hey, wait," Salem said suddenly, seeing a flash of red hair. 

  Lily twisted her lips to the side, but allowed Salem to catch up to her.

  "I just wanted to say I'm sorry," Salem rushed out, "I shouldn't have kept this whole thing a secret, from anyone, honestly. It's caused so much stress; on me, on all my friendships— I can't believe Potter hasn't shouted at me about it, called me a liar or anything—"

  "James Potter is head over heels for you," Lily cut off quietly, "He talks about you-- Mystery Girl, but you-- like you hung the stars in the sky. You could do nearly anything and he'd never bat an eye."

  Salem's expressions had softened, her rigid posture melting slowly.

  "I'm sorry, too," Lily finally breathed out, "I know my feelings were valid, but being rude to you wasn't. I've been going on dates and James and I have spoken and I really have no right to be spiteful that he's moving on, as well. It's just strange, when the one person that's fancied me for as long as I can remember. . ."

  "Fancies someone else," Salem nodded, "It makes sense, Lils. I understand why you reacted the way that you did, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier."

  "Forgiven," Lily smiled genuinely, before a hint of mischief lit in her eyes, "So, you and James are. . ."

  "Are you sure we should be jumping into. . . girl. . . talk. . . right now?"

  Lily raised an un-impressed brow.

  "You can't pawn off your emotions, Sal," The girl informed, "It's okay if you aren't comfortable enough with me or the situation to open up, but don't pretend like I'm the reason we can't talk."

  "You're annoying perceptive," Salem noted uncomfortably after a moment, "I don't know what James and I are. I know we have feelings for one another. And that, somehow, the chess games added with our budding friendship— it just feels like we were meant to find one another. And, now I sound like a little kid—"

  "You sound like someone who found a little bit of hope," Lily cut the girl off gently, smiling like she was the sun, "I'm glad you found it, even if it took you a long time."

  Salem wasn't sure what to say then. Like her ruby red locks had gotten tangled around her vocal cords and she couldn't speak— but it seemed that Lily Evans understood and left Salem with a reassuring smile and a gentle squeeze to her shoulder.

  Her dorm felt shockingly empty, considering two other girls were asleep in their own beds. People drift apart, but Salem felt like her bed was the loneliest life raft in the ocean. The fact finally hitting her; she had to be able to survive alone.

  It was staring her in the face, breathing down her neck. It was nice to have people, Salem finally refused to push that fact away, that she wanted to have friends and hold someone close. But she had to be truly okay, to be comfortable with the company of only herself, or else nothing in life would be healthy.

  And Salem wanted her life to be healthy. She was tired of tangling herself in webs of lives and settling for what was within reach, for isolating herself in fear of getting hurt or hurting others.

  She just had one more thing to do. And it somehow already felt like it would be the hardest.

⥊

  "Hey, Prongsie."

  James acknowledged Sirius lightly, making the boy sit up slightly in his bed. He watched the brunet boy tug his tie off, before standing at a shared desk and poking around with the parchment.

  "What's the matter?" Sirius asked with furrowed brows, following James with his eyes as the boy took a seat at the end of his own bed, "Prongs?"

  "Did you know who Mystery Girl was?" James finally spoke up, lifting his worried eyesight to Sirius— who suddenly looked shocked, "You did, didn't you?"

  "James. . ."

  "I'm not mad at you," The boy mumbled, hanging his head to fiddle with his fingers, "I just needed to know."

  "So, she told you?"

  "Not exactly," James chuckled dryly, "Uh, she had a box. Of the notes. Dropped 'em, she tried to cover it up, but I kind of put it together."

  Sirius nodded, James's silence a contagious disease that reached his best friend.

  "I don't think any of us did the right thing," James spoke up again, clearing his voice as if it would get rid of the emotion seeping through, "Not even me, y'know? I, uh, I don't want to lose either of you when we're all in the wrong."

  "What did you do wrong?"

  "I dunno," James sighed heavily, tugging down a lock of his hair and twisting it, "I got tunnel vision, all I saw was Mystery Girl. I didn't even see you fancying Sal or Pete and Fitzgerald— I nearly ran our quidditch team into the ground."

  "You're being very mature about the whole thing," Sirius noted suspiciously.

  "I'm trying," James shrugged.

  "And how's that going?"

  "It's very hard," The boy admitted in a sigh, making Sirius laugh lightly. "We're good, Pads?"

  "No matter what, Prongs."

( AUTHOR'S NOTE. )
first things first I'm going
to give credit where it's due;
_fangirling_again_ definitely
gave me the idea and assurance
for the entire idea of Salem
and Dottie 'drifting apart'
and I LOVE IT so THANK YOU
but also, happy 2020 guys!
Checkmate was NOT finished
before the new years so oops
on my part