THREE | WORLD'S BIGGEST
BALL OF TWINE

"Wait... Who's... Who's the mother?" Five referred to a young boy sitting at a table nearby. "Lila," Diego nodded, looking down at his lap.

"Wait, Lila's here?" Five's eyes widened, shocked at Diego's news. "Was, she dropped him off in my lap last night and then bolted," Diego informed.

"I don't much care for that one," Klaus stopped. "Don't," Diego warned Klaus, glaring at him. "Technically she's family," I shrugged, taking a seat in between Five and Klaus. "She was trying to murder us, like, yesterday," Klaus argued.

"Yeah, like Tate said, "family." Diego, is she coming back?" Five nodded, setting his drink on the table.

"Well, she goddamn better be, because we got more important things to be dealing with right now!" Diego raised his voice in the last part, scaring the kid.

"Calm down, shh," Klaus reassured Diego, softening his tone. "Where's Luther?" Vanya asked as she came down, her hairstyle has changed, and shortened. "Who cares... probably..." Diego trailed off, noticing Vanya's new style.

"...out for a run..."

"Mmm! Love the haircut" Klaus smiled, complimenting Vanya's new haircut. "So I, uh, talked to Marcus last night," Vanya said. "Wait, what? You talked with the enemy?" Diego cocked his head at her. "By yourself?" I asked. "Somebody had to do something" Vanya shrugged.

"Who elected you, Vanya?" Diego taunted. "It's uh, Viktor," He corrected, with a proud smile. "Who's Viktor?" Diego asked. "I am, it's who I've always been." Viktor smiled sheepishly as everyone connected the dots in their heads.

I looked at Diego, Klaus, and Five, hoping for a positive acknowledgment. "Uh? Is that an issue for anyone?" Viktor asked. "Yeah me too cool," Klaus nodded, taking a bite of his food. 

"Nah I'm good with it," Diego shrugged, not displeased with the news. "Truly happy for you, Viktor," Five looked at Viktor with a subtle smile. "I'm glad you found yourself," I agreed, hoping not to sound displeased.

"But last time I checked, you don't speak for this family," Five reverted to the topic at hand. "Okay, well it's fine, okay? Marcus totally gets it, he doesn't want a war any more than we do," Viktor continued to explain.

"What are you talking about? He tried to homicide us!" Diego answered with a sarcastic remark. "So did Lila and you had a kid with her." Klaus tried to call Diego out, causing me to almost choke on my drink. "That's not the point," Diego argued.

"We made a deal," Viktor trying to calm everyone down. "He's gonna give back Five's briefcase, then we're gonna get out of the timeline," Viktor explained his plan. "We're gonna meet later today for the, uh, the handover," Viktor ended.

"That's a rookie move. Dude is playing you," Diego tried arguing, shaking his head disapprovingly. "Oh really?" Viktor asked, confident in his choice to meet up with Marcus.

"Yeah, but maybe we can use this? And we turn it back on them, then we wipe them the hell out," Diego said.

"Diego, stop, please, and you're not gonna like, do anything today," Viktor said. "Except bond with your spawn," Klaus smiled, placing a hand on Diego's shoulder. "Alleged spawn," Diego clarified again, glaring at Klaus.

"I will get the briefcase, and then we will all go back and fix the timeline," Viktor assured. "Hey, we're not going anywhere! This is a perfectly acceptable timeline," Five denied.

"Yeah, why don't you tell that to Allison who's upstairs grieving her daughter, who doesn't even exist in here!" Viktor yelled, hoping FIve would sympathize with her.

"Not to mention, we've been replaced by a bunch of blobs and cubes and birds and shit!"Diego said, insulting the clan in red. "News flash, geniuses! It's not about us!" Five halted.

"Take a look around, if you hadn't noticed, there's no doomsday. There's no apocalypse. The sun is shining. Birds are doing whatever the hell birds do." Five ranted on.

"That's all that matters," I ended. "We're done messing with time. And I'm officially retired," Five grabbed his drink and headed over to the buffet as Klaus sniffed him. "Is he wearing aftershave?" Klaus asked.

I rolled my eyes jumping off the table and following Five, "I'm concerned,"

"Do you seriously believe that kid is Diego's?" I asked, scooping fruit into my plate. "You don't know that Diego and Lila had their kinks..." Five turned to me, holding his laugh.

"Hey, what do you say we get outta here, huh?" Klaus said, sneaking up behind us. "Take a little road trip," Klaus turned to see if anyone was listening in. "What are you talking about?" Five asked, noticing Klaus's paranoid behavior.

"I'm talking about a sojourn to the countryside. You and me in the wind in our hair," Klaus leaned towards Five and me dramatically. "Thelma and Louise on the open road," Klaus whispered.

"You know they die in the end, right?" I stared at him, understanding the reference. "Holding hands, living our best life, my little cherub!" Klaus interlocked his hands together, forcing a sniffle. "Listen to me. I nearly died from Luther's sleep farts last night," Klaus whispered.

"We need to get out of here, get some fresh air!" Klaus begged. "Okay, I'll bite. Why me, Klaus?" Five turned to ask. "Because you said... you said you're retired, and that's what retired people do," Klaus argued.

"And don't you deserve some fun?" Klaus asked, trying to persuade Five further. "There's no lobsters," Five pointed at the empty fish tank, causing me to look up at the fish tank across. "Excuse me?" Klaus asked, confused at the sudden change in topic.

"There were three lobsters in that tank a minute ago," Five furrowed his eyebrows, his eyes lingering on the tank. "Yeah, well maybe Chet blended 'em into a morning smoothie," Klaus guessed as he faced Five with a grin.

"You're an idiot but I'm in," Five agreed. "Whoo!" Klaus cheered. "You're on your own, old man," I tried walking away before Five pulled my arm, stopping me.

"I need someone sane to be with me so I don't kill Klaus, I might be retired but I'm still eligible for jail," Five whispered in my ear, hoping Klaus wouldn't hear him.

"I heard that," Klaus called out, causing Five to roll his eyes. "Ok, fine," I sighed, nodding to Klaus's idea. "Goodie!" Klaus smiled.

"What if I still didn't agree?" Five asked Klaus, curious to know his backup plan. "Her..." Klaus pointed shamelessly at me, causing me to smile widely.

"Use your resources wisely, Klaus. For that, I'm coming along with you guys," I grinned proudly, giving him a thumbs up as Five rolled his eyes.

"This actually isn't so terrible," Five commented from the passenger seat. "See? Told you," Klaus set down his drink.

"Come to think of it, my whole life has been under the gun. Missions for Dad, working for the commission, trying to survive the apocalypse, I was always looking around every corner, just waiting for the other shoe to drop," Five remembered the horrible memories.

"It's nice to just breathe," Five finished. "Good for you, Fi," I smiled from the backseat. "Retirement is suiting you," Klaus added. "Oh, Uh! All right," Five leaned forward to the glove compartment to grab a map. "So, I've circled all the roadside attractions along the way,"

"I'm not sure, we'll have the time..." Klaus mumbled, trying to shush Five. "We have the Brownsville Big Nickel," Five started. "Oh, Ricky's bakery has award-winning pies," I added, peeking over Five's shoulders. "If you two just let me explain..." Klaus shushed.

"Or there's this Cow Henge," Five continued. "That's it... don't," Five looked at Klaus. "Listen to me, just shut up for two seconds, okay? Just two seconds, alright?" Klaus shushed him as I crossed my arms. "Okay, I'm all ears," Five agreed, stowing the map away.

I propped myself up between Five and Klaus. "We are going to Pennsylvania to find my birth mother, yay!" Klaus cheered at the last word, causing Five to glare at him. "What the fuck?" I asked in confusion. "Excuse me?" Five chimed in.

"I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry. I just needed somebody to come with me for emotional support," Klaus apologized for hiding the secret. "Oh, emotional support, like a schnauzer?"Five frowned.

"I knew you wouldn't come if I told you, so what was I supposed to do?" Klaus argued. "You're damn right I wouldn't have come, Klaus, you know why?" Five asked, causing Klaus and I to sigh as I prepared myself for Five's rant.

"Because I'm supposed to be retired!" Five yelled. "I know!" Klaus nodded. "This was supposed to be a carefree road trip..." I muttered, watching Five and Klaus's arguing unfold.

"Well, it still can be, babe," Klaus and I said in unison. "You're taking his side, are you serious?" Five glared at me as he looked up to see the sign of Ball of Twine. "Ball of twine? Klaus turn," Five ordered.

"What! Five! Five!" Klaus tried stopping as Five took control of the steering wheel, swerving it in the direction he wanted. "Oh my god!" I screamed, holding onto the car seat.

"It's one of the best ones! Come on!" Five yelled, almost hitting another car. "Five! We're gonna die," Klaus yelled. "I don't care! Let's go!" FIve ignored our cries for help.

"You know what? No twine, no birth mother," Five added before driving off into another road. "You know what? No screaming, no twine!" I halted the car with my telekinesis at the side of the road as Five turned back at me with a glare.

"Calm the fuck down or I am turning this car around!" I warned. "You don't have a permit," Five taunted.

"But I got my powers and I can control the steering wheel if you don't knock it off!" I scolded as I watched Five take a deep breath to calm himself down before I looked at Klaus. "Drive to the damn ball of yarn," I muttered, leaning back.

"It's a ball of twine," Five corrected, crossing his arms. "I don't wanna hear another damn word from you until we get there, ok?" I said, watching for Five's reaction. "Okay..." Five pouted as Klaus started driving again.