THE SUN'S RAYS were gone, a victim to the night. The moon shone powerfully, peeking from behind a large, puffy cloud. Stars twinkled up above promisingly. Badgertooth was licking his ruffled chest fur at the other side of the clearing after training. "The day's at an end. We should get some rest."

     Dovepaw nodded. "All right. Goodnight, Badgertooth." She left the medicine den and limped toward the apprentices' den. She slipped into her nest and curled up, closing her eyes. She couldn't go to sleep, though, because something inside her was telling her to stay awake. Then she remembered. I told Foxclaw I would meet with him again. By the stream. She got up, making sure that she didn't attract attention.

     Swerving towards the camp entrance, she pushed through the bramble screen of the den. When she finally escaped the camp's enclosed walls, she raced to the forest, eager to meet with Foxclaw again. Why did he have to leave? I mean, I know he killed Frostfeather and everything, but still . . . Why am I not mad anymore? Why is it like I was never hostile towards him? How did he change my mind? Dovepaw shook the thought away and pushed through the undergrowth.

     She stopped when there was rustling in the bushes. The river was just in sight, flowing peacefully downstream. "Who's there?" she whispered. She peeked into the bushes and a mouse almost flew into her face. Weird. She limped down towards the stream. A silhouetted shape of a broad-shouldered cat was visible at the edge of the stream. She trotted towards him. "Hi."

     Foxclaw turned around. "Dovepaw, you came. That was early."

     Dovepaw sat down beside him and touched his nose with hers in greeting. "Ah, well, everyone was just settling down and I found the chance to go."

     "Oh, well that's good." Foxclaw nuzzled her lovingly. "I don't really care why you came so early. I'm just glad you're here."

     Dovepaw was overcome by satisfaction. His flank against hers made her feel warm and safe, and all her worries were washed away. "Me too. I'm getting kind of worried because of everything that's going on."

     "Oh? What's been going on?" Foxclaw turned his gaze to meet Dovepaw.

     "Snowtail got angry at me for bringing Frozenfang into the Clan, so she attacked me, and then she left. Frozenfang and Mousepaw say she joined MoonClan."

     "Snowtail attacked you for that? That was almost a moon ago!" Foxclaw exclaimed. "She was so suspicious of Sparrowfeather, and now look at her. She's become what she always despised."

     "I know! But it makes sense, considering that she always changes her mind so quickly . . ." Dovepaw trailed off. "It's not my problem anymore, though. I think I'll leave it alone." She pushed against Foxclaw more comfortingly, not wanting to leave.

     "Yes, it's better to leave it alone." Dovepaw could feel his warm breath stir her ear fur. "For now, you just let that all go."

     Dovepaw nodded, suddenly tired, but in a good way. She closed her eyes and let his soothing scent envelope her. "I wish Lynxstar would let you come back. Then everything would be so much easier."

     "Well, then life would be boring, wouldn't it?" Foxclaw answered simply. "I told you, you don't have to worry about that. You're safe with me."

     "Of course." Dovepaw opened her eyes to see Foxclaw staring into her eyes wistfully. His face was all she could see. His dark brown fur surrounded warm, promising amber eyes. Come on, just admit you love him, urged a voice deep inside her. She had never admitted it to him, and she felt a little guilty about it. "Foxclaw, I've never told you this, but . . ."

     Foxclaw's eyes became more soft and loving than ever, and he looked as if he knew what was coming.

     "I love you," Dovepaw finally got out. "I'm sorry I never, ever—"

     Foxclaw put his tail over her mouth. "No, I get it. I'm just glad you finally said it." He licked her just below her chin and pressed close to her. "I don't want any other she-cats. Just you. Don't you forget it."

     This feels so wrong . . . yet I don't see why I have to stop. Dovepaw leaned into him and closed her eyes. His soft fur and low, gentle purring sent her to sleep.

***

     The sound of water flowing downstream woke Dovepaw. She opened her eyes, relieved to find Foxclaw asleep beside her. She almost wanted to close her eyes again and drift back into the safety of sleep. But at the same time worry was rising in her. "Foxclaw," she whispered, "wake up."

     When the tabby tom didn't move she let out an amused mrrow and prodded him in the side playfully. "Wake up, you dormouse!"

     "Wha—?" Foxclaw sat up immediately. "You're still here." He sounded relieved. "I knew you wouldn't leave."

     Suddenly nervous, Dovepaw flattened her ears and looked down at her paws. "Well, um, I can't stay. I'm sorry."

     "No, please stay." Foxclaw stepped forward and brushed his tail over her flank repeatedly. "I really want you to stay. Last night, when you admitted that you really loved me, I suddenly felt closer to you. I never want to leave your side."

     A spark of anger was set off in Dovepaw's chest. She quickly, silently composed herself and gazed at Foxclaw affectionately. He's only expressing his love for me. Nothing huge. "I'm still a Clan cat with Clanmtes that rely on me to heal them. I have to go back."

     Dovepaw could see a tiny glint of sadness in his eyes. "If that's what you really want, then . . ."

     Dovepaw touched his cheek with her nose. "I don't want you to feel offended or anything, I just want you to understand that I still have a life as a medicine cat, and I still need to respect the code and everything." She pressed into his flank and lowered her voice to a whisper. "I don't want you to worry, okay? I'll still love you, no matter the consequence."

     Foxclaw nodded. "Okay, I'll remember. I'll see you again?"

     "Of course. Maybe in two days. Tomorrow's the Gathering, so I can't come then. But, like I said, the day after. Okay?"

     Foxclaw nodded.

     "Okay." She twined her tail around his and nuzzled him comfortingly. "I'll be here in two moonrises." She let go and slipped into the bushes, quickly glancing back at Foxclaw. He looked sorry to see her go. He looked almost as sad as he did when he said goodbye when he was exiled. Dovepaw shook her head inwardly and pushed farther in the undergrowth.

     When she emerged onto the path, there was a yank on her tail. She jumped and glanced behind her, back arched and hissing. But she relaxed when she realized it was just Mousepaw. "What in the name of StarClan are you doing here?"

     Mousepaw looked at her littermate up and down, her eyes glittering with disappointment. She resembled a mother scolding her kit. "I thought you were done with that traitor," she hissed.

     Dovepaw was shocked by her sister's hostility. "Look, Mousepaw, he just sort of ran into me."

     "Since when? You've been here all night! What in StarClan's have you been doing here? Badgertooth worried, and Lynxstar's getting suspicious. And of course, I have to go out on a mission yet again because of some silly mistake you made." She flattened her ears. "Honestly, I'm just disappointed." Her eyes darkened and softened at the same time. "And sad. Sad that you hid it all from me. You told me you were angry at him, and then . . ." Her voice cracked and her eyes glittered with misery.

     Dovepaw felt a sharp claw of guilt stab her heart. "Mousepaw, I'm sorry." She stepped forward, suddenly feeling sympathetic for her littermate.

     Mousepaw didn't seem to mind. She didn't meet Dovepaw's gaze, though, as she leaned into her sister feebly. "Dovepaw, why would you lie to me?"

     "I-I didn't know it would affect you this badly, and if I have to be honest, I never thought about telling you because I've been keeping us—me and Foxclaw—a secret. It's been hard, but I didn't want anything to interfere with our relationship. Not the medicine code, not my kin, not anything." Dovepaw licked Mousepaw's ear. "I'm really, really sorry."

     "O-okay. Let's go back to camp now, shall we?" Mousepaw lightly pushed Dovepaw away. She walked along the path of the forest towards the camp. Dovepaw walked swiftly after her, still feeling guilty.

     Oh, Foxclaw, you have no idea how much I'm sacrificing for you. Dovepaw stopped and called to Mousepaw, "Mousepaw! You can go on without me. I just need some time before going in."

     Mousepaw looked hesitant, but eventually answered, "Okay. Take your time, I guess." She turned and left.

     Dovepaw sat down heavily on the grass, feeling suddenly tired, and looked up at the slowly rising sun. StarClan, please forgive me for all I have done. She felt choked and she turned her gaze to her paws. And let Foxclaw understand how much I have done for him. Another wave of guilt washed over her and she closed her eyes, trying to calm herself. I think I am just meeting now just to make him happy. I don't think I'm happy at all.

     She opened her eyes again and stood up. Before she continued onward, she took deep breaths until her heart stopped racing. Then she limped towards the camp entrance. Her deep breaths didn't help much, though, because her heart began racing again.

  "Oh, there you are!" Dovepaw looked up, expecting to see Lynxstar or Badgertooth—even though it was a she-cat's voice—but saw Dawnsplash racing towards her, her eyes frantic as though Dovepaw was her own kit. "We were so worried. Lynxstar and Badgertooth, especially." When she got closer she examined Dovepaw. "Where have you been? You have—" She sniffed a tuft of brown fur on Dovepaw's shoulder. "That's Foxclaw's fur!" Her voice was raised now. "You saw him and you didn't fight him?"

     Dovepaw didn't answer. She didn't know how to answer. She couldn't answer. She just looked at Dawnsplash, searching for words. "I'm really sorry and I couldn't just tell the whole Clan, and he made me promise, and—"

     Dawnsplash swept her tail over Dovepaw's flank, trying to comfort her. She didn't seem angry. Or, at least for now. "Calm down. Take deep breaths. You're safe here, okay? We're going into the camp now, but I can do all the talking if you want."

     Dovepaw nodded and followed Dawnsplash into the camp. There were murmurs and whispers that rippled through the cats, but Dovepaw didn't look up. She stayed in the safety of Dawnsplash's presence, trusting that the kind she-cat would keep her safe.

     Out of the corner of her eye, Dovepaw spotted Lynxstar coming out of her waterfall den. She looked both angry and merciful at the same time, yet she was intimidating in a way. Dovepaw made sure to avoid eye contact.

     "Dovepaw, my daughter," Lynxstar began. Her eyes were angry but her voice was calm as still water. "I would like to talk about this in private."

     Wait—does she actually know what happened? How? Mousepaw turned me in, that's how. I guess I can't blame her. She was only following orders.

     "Go on." Dawnsplash stepped back and let Dovepaw follow her mother into the den behind. Dovepaw was hesitant but she stepped inside anyway. The air was tense and thick, and Dovepaw's heart began to race.

     "Sit." Lynxstar flicked her tail and Dovepaw sat down where she was. "Now. Mousepaw tells me—"

     Dovepaw couldn't bear to hear her mother continue. She would say it in a scolding, motherly way that she didn't want to hear at a time like this. "Don't continue. Please. I know why I'm here."

     "I know you know," Lynxstar meowed coolly. "Why have you kept this secret from me? From the Clan?" She narrowed her eyes at her daughter, cool and examining. Dovepaw suppressed a shiver as her mother's fiery blue eyes burned into her own.

     Dovepaw glanced at the ground and up at the top of the wall. Right now Lynxstar wasn't helping her nervousness. But she managed to look at the Clan again. "Lynxstar, I'm genuinely sorry. Foxclaw made me promise not to let anything interfere with our relationship, so I didn't tell anyone. Ever."

     Now concern tainted Lynxstar's voice instead of anger. "He made you promise that, you say? Is there anything else that he made you do—or tried to make you do—forcefully?"

     "W-well, when I told him that I was going to leave to go back to camp, he seemed to be trying really hard to make me stay. I think he would do anything. And it's happened before. Like right before he left, he kept pushing and pushing . . ."

     Lynxstar kinked her tail. "Come forward."

     Dovepaw stood up and took a step towards her mother. She sat down beside her and Lynxstar curled her tail comfortingly around her daughter. She began to give her soothing licks on the top of her head. They almost reminded Dovepaw of Foxclaw, but she pushed the thought away. "This sounds like a very unhealthy relationship, Dovepaw. Maybe it's best to stay away."

     "No, but I love him! I really do, it's just . . . he makes mistakes . . ."

     ". . . a lot." Lynxstar finished her sentence for her. "I think it's best to stay away."

     With a jolt, Dovepaw realized: Maybe it is. Lynxstar and Swallowpaw are both right. He did make bad mistakes that occur way too much to be mistakes. Maybe I shouldn't be with him anymore.