A/n: WARNING adult tings

When I returned from Calaberia again, I was sure the sight of my estate alone would turn me into ashes.

But, surprisingly, all I felt was the nausea from the boat ride, and the fatigue from the terrible ten day journey.

I stepped out of the car and expected Gonzales to carry my luggage up to my room, but the man didn't follow me into the house, and instead waited right by the door. "Young master," he called with a scratchy voice. "I found a wife and got married a month ago. She lives in town and Capo Park has allowed me to move in with her, as long as I still accompany you to Calabria every now and then."

I blinked. This descision made sense. There was no longer any need for a spy like him in my house. It was already occupied by another, much more effective one. "Va bene," I said, taking my luggage from the man.

"Ah, young master, I can get one of the servants to--"

"You are dismissed Gonzales, go be with your wife," I said, sounding much more spiteful than I actually intended to. It wasn't as though I ever forged a bond with Gonzales. He was just a man I'd known since childhood. Just a man who'd taught me how to shave my face and tie my shoelaces.

I charged forward into the house, and I wasn't at all surprised to see Taehyung standing there, carrying a large bouquet of crimson roses in his hands. "Moj aniol," he said, approaching me with stars in his eyes.

Had he pinched himself to get his eyes to water? I wondered. Had he hired a florist to plant those roses in the garden?

"I never thought a month could feel like a lifetime," Taehyung said, reaching out to help me with my luggage.

I turned myself away from the butler before he could grab my suitcase, and analyzed his actions, his words, his facial-expressions. Was it all fake? Or was it just a little fake? Did he fear me? Or did he hate me?

Taehyung looked at me with a frown when I kept my distance from him, but all I could see was a jester, performing a bit. I had been right all along to feel like his kindness towards me wasn't deserved. From the moment we met I knew his meekness was unnatural, and yet I ignored my brain just to let my heart be manipulated.

I had to tell him that I knew.

I had to tell him that he could stop pretending to like me.

But then I would be all alone again...

Taehyung tried to grab my suitcase again, and this time I let him. "Is everything okay, moj aniol?"

I parted my lips to say something terribly vile, but then closed them again when I couldn't come up with anything good enough. There was no point in getting angry with him, because he didn't really deserve it, now did he? The croatian boy never set out to become a pawn in my father's game. He'd stumbled into this mess entirely by accident, and I dared to think that the process of becoming my father's spy might've even been difficult for him.

Taehyung leaned in to kiss my lips, and I closed my eyes as I allowed him to do so.

"You look tired," the man said, cupping my face and stroking my cheekbone. "Let me carry these to your room, hm?"

I took the bouquet of roses as Taehyung went ahead and brought my luggage away.

Apparently, I no longer had a heart. I no longer felt things. But that didn't mean I couldn't still desire the warmth I used to feel when the butler looked at me. I still craved him like a famished parasite, and I could already tell that I would be leeching off of this situation until there was absolutely nothing left.

A parasite?

I chuckled to myself, remembering oh so long ago when Emilio called me that, and I chose to ignore it.

"Funny how things come back sometimes," I giggled, strolling through the house with my lovely bouquet of flowers. I plucked a petal from one of the roses and let it dwindle on the floor. And then I plucked another, and another, and another, leaving behind a path of rosepetals as I made for the garden.

It was June and summer had arrived in Manhatten, but the sun on my skin didn't do anything for my mood at all. I had gotten used to the warmth in Italy so feeling it now did nothing.

Nothing did anything.

"Prinscesa?"

Emilio was standing in front of me. I hadn't seen him in a while, so I was a bit surprised. "I don't like being called that," I said, glaring up at the man. "Fermare."

"You think I give a fuck what you like and do not like?" Emilio asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

I took a deep breath. "I suppose not."

"So, where is that halfwit who always follows you around?"

"Don't-- insult him," I said, the sharpness of my reaction surprising even me.

"You seem happier with him around you," Emilio muzed. "Maybe I should steal you away after all. Seeing you smile sickens me."

I felt my stomach twist and turn, a wave of nausea coming over me again. It had been a while since I stepped off the boat, and usually my motion-sickness would have already disappeared by now.

"But the butler probably gives you everything you need. He is a weak man. Any fool could see that..."

"Moj aniol?"

Taehyung entered the garden with a little mountain of rosepetals in his hands. It seemed he'd collected them while tracing me through the house. Why would he do such an odd thing? I thought. Why did he do such odd things?

I looked back at Emilio, only to see that the stableboy had already left.

"Did he say anything hurtful?" Taehyung asked, nudging his head at the fleeing stableboy.

I nodded, but then I shrugged. "He isn't worth your time."

"He isn't worth yours either," Taehyung said, lifting my chin to make me look up at him.

But when I looked into the Taegyung's eyes, I discovered that the butterflies in my stomach that once fluttered so wildly, had all been brutally murdered. Fuck, I couldn't feel anything! It was as though my love for him and my hate for him had cancelled each other out and there was nothing left for me to do but stare blankly into those chocolate eyes.

"I was a little sad when you left without telling me," Taehyung murmured, stuffing the rosepetals into his pocket.

"My father..." I began, but Taehyung immediately nodded as though he didn't need an explanation. "I missed you," he said softly, glancing at his feet as though he were ashamed to admit it out loud. I could even see his cheeks flush into a bright shade of pink and marveled at his incredible acting ability. If it wasn't for my father destroying his future, he could have been on Broadway.

But I had missed him too.

"Every day your were gone I cursed myself for making us wait," Taehyung chuckled sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck as his blush deepened.

I gulped. Oh, right, I thought. That thing. I was going to let him fuck me... that used to be this whole thing. I'd been so excited about it. Obsessed with it, even... I didn't think I'd ever looked forward to something that much in my entire life, but now...

Maybe I should just get it over with? I asked myself. All of that happiness couldn't have just disappeared, could it? There had to be something left. A little remnant of joy that I might only find wrapped up in his arms.

"Can we do it now?" I asked, pointing at a fairly shady spot behind the house.

Taehyung blinked as though I'd gone mad and rapidly shook his head. "We are not animals, we do not have sex outside!"

The man grabbed my hand and pulled me back inside the house with him. We went up the stairs together and when he glanced back at me, a thousand conflicting emotions numbed me. I wanted to rip my hand free and run away, yet I wanted to kiss the man deeply, and cling to his body at the same time.

I loved him, didn't I?

But he'd betrayed me so terribly...

He made me feel special, didn't he?

But he probably never meant a single word he ever told me.

He was my soulmate, wasn't he?

He was my father's slave...

"Tada!" Taehyung sang, throwing the rosepetals he'd collected onto my bed like organic confetti. "Romantic, no?"

My eyelids fluttered as a tornado of thoughts kept whirling and whirling inside of me.

I hurriedly unbuttoned my pants and let them puddle at my feet, before unbuttoning my shirt as well and doing everything that I was supposed to do if I wanted this act to keep going.

I reached for the glass bottle of oil on my drawer, unscrewing the cap and pouring a descent amount of it on my hands and body.

Taehyung only stared at me, and I could almost see the question mark hanging above his head. He reluctantly began to take off his pants as well, and looked at me with sad, puppydog eyes.

Things clearly weren't going in the way either of us had expected it, and it made the atmosphere stiffen up.

After I was shiny with oil I climbed onto the bed and dusted the scattered rosepetals off the matrass. I didn't want them to accidentally end up in places they didn't belong. Fishing rosepetals out of my arse seemed like tedious job...

"You don't like them?" Taehyung asked, looking at me like I was the grinch who stole Christmas.

I pursed my lips, but I couldn't feel bad. "This doesn't really have to be romantic..." I murmured. "We're just two friends fucking, aren't we?"

Taehyung's brows knitted together, and he suddenly looked hurt as if I'd somehow been overly harsh. As if I hadn't said anything but the truth. He fell quiet for a while, and I sighed as I waited for the butler to join me on the bed. Everything had turned awkward, and the older man looked lost on what to do about it.

But I knew what to do.

I went on my hands and knees and looked back at Taehyung over my shoulder. "Aren't you going to prepare me?" I asked, arching my back like a cat stretching it's limbs.

Taehyung nodded, but he remained silent. He oiled up his hands and avoided my eyes, suddenly looking so much more like the obedient slave he really was.

When he climbed into bed with me, he looked hesitant to touch me in the places he'd been the first one to ever explore. I was his in so many ways. I wondered if he knew how much control he'd really managed to get over me.

"You turned twenty last month, didn't you?" I asked, trying to make conversation when the silence felt like it would last for ages.

"Yes," Taehyung said quietly, letting his slippery fingers slide into the crevice of my buttocks.

"Did you do anything?"

"Not much... Jin made a chocolate cake." The butler made me shudder when he pushed his two fingers past my walls and entered the soft place he'd trained so well before I left.

"With... twenty candles?" I asked breathlessly, my cock beginning to swell with pleasure as the butler teased and massaged my insides.

Taehyung hummed, sliding his fingers in and out of me, and knocking them against my prostate each time. He was good at this. The both of us had discovered that a while ago. Those big, rough hands of his were extremely effective at reaching places my own tubby fingers couldn't even graze, and sometimes it felt as though he knew how to satisfy my body better than I did.

"D-did you make a wish?" I asked, my toes curling as the pleasure began to build up in my belly.

"Yes," Taehyung answered, before taking his fingers out of my butt and bringing his lips to it instead.

"Tae!" I shrieked, reaching behind me to push the butler away when he eagerly kissed my hole. My defense turned futile however, when the man let his tongue swirl in circles inside of me, and turned me silly with arousal. The sounds of him sucking and licking me down there were horribly lewd and obscene, but I couldn't help but moan and tremble weakly as his toungue dove deeper and fucked me in such an unseemly way.

"Wait..." I panted, my lips breaking apart in shock. "Y-you can't--"

The butler kissed my ass like he was void of shame, and my eyes fell cross as I squirted a load of cum all over my expensive satin covers. My ass had become entirely too sensitive to withstand the butler's indecent ways of pleasuring me. He could truly play my body like an instrument, and I realised that in his time at the estate, he'd studied me in more ways than one.

"Ah... dio mio~" I whined, shuddering after the butler made me cum without even once touching my cock.

"Will you let me put it in, moj aniol?" He then asked, and when I looked back at him with half-lidded eyes, it was as though his cock had somehow grown even bigger in size over the course of my stay in Italy.

He was holding it in his hands as he gave it some lazy strokes, and I nodded slowly, if only to blindly chase after the pleasure I knew he could bring me. "Yes," I breathed. "You can put it in."