After the night was over, I was allowed some time alone in Aro's room. I had to say, his room was a hell of a lot messier than the other two's. Papers were thrown all over the desk. When I made a comment, he just called it organized chaos. Yeah, no, the man was just messy as hell with his work. It wasn't that I minded, as long as his papers didn't reach the bed or his bookshelves, it was just that it was so damn hard to not go through everything and clean it for him, which he asked me not to do. Sensitive papers and such that he would rather me not read at the moment.

I had been pondering whether or not Edward and Bella really were mates these past few days. Mates were people who filled each other in ways nobody else could. They give suicidal people a reason to live. As much as they would deny it, Isabella Swan and Edward Cullen are not true mates. If they were, Edward would have been in physical pain while being separated from Bella. He wouldn't have been able to leave her. They act like their love is better than mine, but my loves were made for me. Nothing could painlessly separate us. Their love had a time limit.

My love is timeless, eternal in it's own right, even with my human body.

The two of them would live together for however long it takes one of them to find their true mate. Hopefully by then, they will have realized that they need to be with one one that they were destined for, made for. Their love is childish and will soon outgrow them. Edward was young when he was turned and seems to still have his teenage behaviors. I don't think that he knows what he has done to me, his friends, and his family.

Carlisle Cullen would always be the only father figure I ever had. He would forever be like a father to me, even when I called him by his first name. The man had a kindness in his heart that could not be tarnished by anything, even if he did eat animals. He had respect for other people and their diets, unlike Edward and seemingly Alice. The girl had barely talked to me throughout the ball, sticking with her family and the Denali Coven.

Esme Cullen was a motherly figure for everyone. She cared about children. I know that she would always care for me, no matter my life choices. Her kindness is one of the reasons why the fates had put her with Carlisle, the two of them were unfathomably kind and welcomed all sorts of people into their family without question. Esme would be like a mother to me even after I turned. I would miss her cooking though, she's the best cook that I know.

No matter what Isabella Swan and Edward Cullen say to me, I know that they are wrong. They will always be wrong about my mates, about me and my future as a queen. I will not be cruel like they say I will be. No, I'll be kind. I'll show them just how kind I can be. Vampires will fear the Volturi, that has and will always be the case, but they will not fear an iron fist from me. Criminals will not be tolerated, but I will bring down justice in a fair way. Every corner, every single corner, will help us unravel the truth in every case.

I need to be turned.

________________________________________________________________

The decision of turning had come up already at the ball last month. It would have to come up again. I wanted to turn. My mates would then no longer have to worry so much about me. As a vampire, I would be able to not only protect myself, but feel the mating bond as they do.

It wasn't like I didn't feel the bond at all, it was just muddled, blocked by my humanity. I felt the snaps that would occur when I was with the three of them, the snaps that screamed mate at me. From what Marcus had said, the bond only can be completed when both parties are vampires. It sucked, but that was the truth.

I would have to turn eventually anyways, so why not sooner? Humanity was just looking worse on me day by day.

"Aro," I whined into my mate's chest. Aro ran his hand through my hair and hushed me, softly kissing my head. "Aro, we do need to talk about stuff."
"What is it that you want to talk about, il mio amore?" my raven headed mate asks, looking a little bit concerned. Nothing good usually comes out when someone says we need to talk about stuff. Thankfully, I'm not something usual. I'm an annoying human with ADHD.

"I want to turn," I blurt out, still grabbing his chest and rubbing my head against his soft jacket. "I want to be like you guys. I know that I'll have to do it at some point, so why not just do it sooner rather than later?"

Aro clicked his tongue. "You do realize that this is a big change, cara mia? To change into an immortal is a painful process. It can take up to five days and truly does, mind my language, hurt like a bitch," I laugh. Aro was not one to swear in front of me. I knew that it would hurt like a bitch, but I still wanted to get it over with. There was nothing good coming out of me as a human. I couldn't go into any more trials due to their overprotectiveness over me and I couldn't walk around the castle as I pleased. My humanity felt more like a cage than anything.

"I know that it will hurt. I don't really care how much because the brain will forget the pain as a trauma response. Me being human doesn't help you guys. You can be close to me, but only because you have so much control. I shouldn't have to test you. I want to roam freely, to be able to be in the guard room without having a guard on me. This place is crawling with vampires who are having their control unreasonably tested by my stupid blood," Aro sighs at my words.

"Is there any way that I can get you to reconsider your humanity and it's worth to the Volturi, tesoro?" I shook my head at him. "Well, they can't say that I didn't try. Demetri!" Aro called out to the guard outside the door.

"Yes, Master Aro?" Demetri popped his head in to ask.

"Please go and grab my brothers," I was shocked that Aro even used please. He had never been so kind to the guard in front of me, usually having to have me pester him about manners.

________________________________________________________________

"You want to do what?" Caius asked, clearly not believing what he was hearing. What, did he not want me to become one of them? Is me becoming a vampire so bad to my mates? Am I somehow better as a human? The bond cannot be completed while I am human! I want to be with them forever, and forever means drinking blood and completing this bond! I rant internally.

"I want to be turned, Caius, is that so hard to believe? I want to be with you all forever. I want to complete the bond with you!" I exclaim, annoyed with how my mate was acting. I know that this is big, but I still want to do it! It's going to happen one of these days.

"It is not hard to believe, cara mia, it is just that you seem to have made this decision very quickly. I personally do not wish for you to regret this decision later on and long for more time as a human being. You becoming an immortal would make me happy, but it is not a requirement," Marcus places his cold hand in mine to try and calm me.

"Look, I'm the kind of person who doesn't regret what they get their mind set on doing. If I want something, I just get upset until I get it. Being immortal is a requirement for me, no matter what it is for you. Honestly, being human sucks. I bleed every month down there and get all pissy. Not only that, but right now I'm fragile and can be classified as a late afternoon snack," I point out.

"The monthly thing can't be that-" I glared at him and cut Caius off.

"I swear to all that is holy you are not allowed to say it can't be that bad because you're a fucking man and have not had to go through the pain that is a period. It hurts. Honestly, I'm going to see how changing compares to my period pains, because they're probably similar. I have to be on special pills because I pass out all the time, scream, and cry during that week," I inform my mates who just gulped at my clear anger. They had no right to claim that they couldn't be that bad! They have dicks!

"I am sorry, cara mia, you are right, I don't have a right to speak about issues I know nothing about," Caius apologises, looking guilty.

"It's okay, amore, I forgive you," Caius smiles as if a huge weight had been taken off of his shoulders. "Anyways, being a human sucks ass. Don't think that I haven't thought this idea through, I really have. Actually, I've been thinking about it for a month straight. I won't regret this."

"We will do whatever will make you happiest, tesoro, but note that turning and being in the newborn stage is hard. You will crave human blood all the time, or most of the time. Your emotions will be all over the place and you will most likely need us to be around you at all hours of the day to help soothe you through the bond. Newborns are known for throwing dangerous tantrums when upset. You'll be volatile and dangerous for the first five months. After that, during the last six months of the newborn phase, you'll calm down a bit, but you will still be stronger than almost all of the guard. You will still have cravings for blood. We can help you curb these cravings by giving you blood bags in between feedings. It is not the same, but they can help. Unlike most of the newborns of the Volturi, you will be allowed to walk around the castle. We have kept all newborns away from you so that they do not get uncomfortable with your very human scent around. I believe that our newest guards would like to meet you after your transformation," Marcus explains.

Damn, imagining craving blood all the time just makes me queasy now. I mean, it won't make me queasy when I turn, but drinking so much blood right now just makes me feel weird.

"Having second thoughts, il mio amore?" Aro asks. Caius snickers from beside him.

"Not at all. It'll just be weird, craving blood all the time. How long does it take for vampires to learn control? Can you teach newborns?" I ask Marcus.

"Yes and no. The way that newborns work is that they are just plain uncontrollable. They are strong and bulky, tearing through prey. The way that you feed them is how they learn control. You give a newborn a schedule with snacks and their minds will adhere to the schedule by the third month. We have scheduled feedings that have been the same for over 500 years. Same time, same place. It helps the guard with learning control. When you only hunt when you are feeling hungry, you get messed up. It is the main reason that we never switched to the Cullen diet. Animal blood works differently. Venom burns faster through some types of animal blood. We did quite a few tests on it about a century back. You know, for the sake of science and knowledge. Vampires who have control always have one thing in common: they eat at the same times," Marcus informs me of the control issue. I laughed.

"What about control do you find funny, cara mia?" Caius questions.

"It's not funny per se, but I also do that. Have you noticed? I eat at the same time each day. Humans are similar in that way. When you eat at the same time, it's easier to resist the snacks all around you."

"You are not a snack!"

"Mhmmm," I laughed at Caius before turning to Aro again, "So, when can we do this? Wait, do you guys have some sort of special ritual? That would be so cool."

"No ritual. I'm sorry about that, il mio amore. We can be with you the entire time that you turn. We do have a special room for turning people. If you ever in your time here hear screams from down there, it's someone being turned," I gulp. Screams, scary shit then. "Any one of us can turn you. We have perfect control."

"Ah, decisions, decisions," I muse, looking over at everyone. "Shit, this is like a big choice. What is the importance of a sire, anyways? Is that a special bond?" I ask.

"The person who sires a newborn can control them in a way. Yes, it shows up as a special bond on my bondsight as well. It is very important that a person has a good sire, as their sire will be the one that they listen to. Almost all vampires feel unwavering loyalty to the vampire who sired them. Newborns will gladly die for their sires, making them perfect weapons for evil people. Thankfully, we are not evil and we just love you," I blush at Marcus' words. "Who you chose is up to you. I should hope there will be no hard feelings," Marcus looked to his two brothers who nodded their heads slowly.

It was probably the biggest decision of my life, who I would pick to be my sire. I had unwavering loyalty to all three of them. I would already die for any of them. I knew that they would all be as gentle as possible.

"Uhm, I guess I can have Marcus sire me. Sorry, Aro and Caius, no hard feelings, right?" I ask, worried that I would hurt the feelings of my two other mates. Jesus, who knew being with three men would be like this. The big decisions have such odd complications like this.

"No hard feelings, il mio amore," Aro says in his cheery voice. Caius repeated Aro, most likely covering up some amounts of jealousy. I couldn't blame either of them for being jealous, this kind of thing would be life changing. "As long as we can be there in the room to comfort you, we will be happy. If it hurts too much, we can call Alec to put you to sleep."

Ah yes, then there was the pain that Alec could take away. That might be nice.

"When would you like to turn? We can clear our schedules for any time. Trials can wait until you turn. We have space in the dungeons," Caius asks.

"I think that I want this done as soon as possible. How does tomorrow sound?"