❝DAMN DAPPER❞
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⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ chapter twenty-four,
Gilmore Girls — Season One

May 1st, 2001

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[ LUCY'S POV ]

FIVE YEARS AGO, WHEN I WAS ELEVEN, RACHEL AND LUKE BROKE UP, leaving me to be very confused at a young age. I was a child, and I really liked Rachel. Hell, I looked to her with wide eyes and a big smile because she was perfect.

But she left, and I didn't understand. Sure, my dad had broken up with somebody in the past, but Rachel broke my dad's heart in a different kind of way. Rachel might've claimed that she loved me and my dad all those years ago, but that doesn't excuse the fact that she left.

Sure, I spoke to my dad and persuaded him to give Rachel another chance, but I still didn't trust her completely. I was skeptical of her, and watching her be romantic with my dad again is just a little strange for me to see. They're talking all the time, laughing and joking with each other, and they go on dates in the evenings, leaving me to be very confused about their relationship.

I want to believe that she'll stick around now, even though she was considering leaving only two weeks ago.

I want to believe that she won't leave my dad again, but I'm not sure.

"So they're dating again?" I look over at Addy who sits alongside me at the counter. We've been watching my dad closely, and Addy has been extremely nosey about the relationship between Dad and Rachel.

"Addy, I—"

"I can hear you," Dad interrupts, and I glare at him, prompting him to leave so me and Addy can talk.

Rachel walks by me, and I smile politely because I really want to try and know her again. I told her I'd give her a chance, and Rachel promised she'd try to put time in for me too. Me and her need to get along so she can have a standing relationship with my dad.

Dad values my opinion, he told me, and if I tell him how I really feel about Rachel, he'll leave her so quickly without consideration, and I hate that because I just want him to be happy.

And if Rachel makes him happy then I'm happy.

"Rachel was always nice," Addy says, and I move my eyes back to her. "The only girlfriend of your dad's I never liked was that woman..." Addy pauses as she tries to think of the name. "What— Dammit, what was her name?"

I grin in her direction, and I realise who she's talking about because Dad has only committed to two people his entire life. "Oh, I know who you mean," I say, and Addy chuckles. "You didn't like Anna."

"No, I did not," Addy pouts. "I don't know why though."

I shrug, not knowing why Addy disliked Anna. She was also a nice woman, somebody who loved my dad and cared about me. She left when I was about eight— when the diner opened— and I never did believe she and my dad were meant to be. He never seemed himself around her, I can't really explain it.

Addy had been there for both of my dad's relationships, making her the only one to judge them— besides me.

When Rachel leaves the diner to run a couple errands, Dad presents Addy with a burger which turns into a ridiculous argument. I ignore them, choosing to doodle in my dad's notepad.

The phone rings, and Dad looks to me, obviously wanting me to answer it. "No," I say bluntly, and Dad huffs. He reaches for the notepad, ripping off the page of doodles before he moves to answer the phone.

Dad picks up the phone, and begins to scribble down the order. While Dad stays on the phone, Addy eats her burger, and Lorelai bursts through the door with bags covering her arms. I turn to look at her, my eyes wide as I watch her load the bags onto the counter.

Lorelai waves towards me and Addy before stepping away, and I look to Addy, concern on my face as Lorelai barges back in with more bags. "Oh, my—"

Dad slams the phone down, his eyes panicked and concerned as he stares at the rouge woman that is Lorelai Gilmore. "What's all this?"

"The result of my shopping trip. Accomplished in two hours," Lorelai announces with a smile, and I grin because I love a shopping trip.

"Impossible."

"I'm a savant."

"Everything's returnable?" Dad asks, and a large part of me hopes they aren't returnable.

"Yes. Now sit down and relax. I'll show you what I got." Lorelai pushes Dad to sit down next to Addy, who is just as eager as me to see what's in the bags.

"Can I have my credit card back?" he demands, holding his hand out for Lorelai. She places it into his hand begrudgingly, and I honestly can't believe he gave it to her in the first place. There have been times where I've had to beg for his credit card, but with Lorelai, he just gives it to her so easily.

"Looks tired," he says whilst examining his credit card.

"Where's Rachel?" Lorelai asks.

"She's out running some errands."

Lorelai claps her hands together, ready to present the goods she's bought. "Last week, we were talking about Meryl Streep, and the whole accent thing, and Rachel said that she loved "Out of Africa" but she never read the book, remember?"

     "Nope."

Lorelai grabs one of the bags closest to Dad. "Okay, so... I was like, "Are you crazy? Isak Dinesen is amazing. I love her." Which is crap because I never read the book either, but Rory told me it was amazing, so I felt pretty confident in my recommendation of..." She pulls the book out the bag. "Out of Africa."

I think Rachel will like it, it's a good book.

"You bought her a book?" Dad questions, confused because he would never buy somebody a book— other than me.

"No. You bought her a book." Lorelai places the book in Dad's hands and he looks at the blurb. "To be put in her brand-new..." Lorelai pulls out a very beautiful, very leathery bag. "Camera bag!"

"She's got a camera bag."

"It's nylon. This one's leather. Beautiful leather. Feel it. Smell it." Lorelai pushes it towards him, hoping he'll embrace the excitement of this gorgeous bag.

"I'm not gonna smell the bag."

I chuckle, and Lorelai admits defeat. "Fine, don't smell it. But trust me, she's gonna love it." Lorelai is extraordinary at most things so I'm not surprised that she's done such a good job at buying gifts for Rachel. "Her old bag is falling apart, so she was gonna get a new one eventually. Now you will have beaten her to it."

"So it's practical, Dad," I say, hoping he'll understand the point of the gift.

"And pretty!" Addy chimes in, and Lorelai agrees.

Luke sighs, his eyes moving between me, Addy and Lorelai. "That seems... right."

"You like?"

"Yeah, thanks." Dad smiles at Lorelai, and I hear Addy sigh next to me. I glance over at her, grinning because we're thinking the exact same thing.

Why is Lorelai buying my dad gifts for another woman when he's so obviously in love with the woman in front of him? Why can't they just figure out their freaking feelings, right?

I think me and Addy have mastered the art of telepathy after eleven years of friendship.

Dad looks around at the other bags on the counter, realising that there's more to this than a present for Rachel. "What's all this?"

"Well, Luke," Lorelai sighs, her hands clapping together. "Timing is a beautiful thing."

Dad looks concerned. "It is."

"It is," she agrees. "So I'm in the mall and I've already found Rachel's gifts, and I've had two sugar/cinnamon pretzels, and I'm buzzed on the sugar and jazzed with the purchases, and I decide to take a victory lap through Bloomingdale's, and it just so happens that there was an amazing sale in the men's department. I mean, gorgeous stuff. Look at this." I'm shaking my head at how ridiculously fast she's speaking just as Lorelai pulls out a turtleneck sweater, holding it up to show us. "Ha! Forty perfect off! I got three different colours."

"For who?" My God, he is clueless.

"For you," she informs, and I grin widely because it'll be fun to see him in another light— in something other than flannel.

Lorelai moves around to grab a few other things from different bags. "Then, of course, beautiful pants— so soft. I don't know what this fabric is, but I wanna have its baby." She throws it over his shoulder, overly excited, and I lean back, staring at this rather entertaining interaction.

"Okay, hold on a minute."

Lorelai rushes past again to look in another bag before pulling out another item of clothing. "Also, I got this fabulous belt to go with the sweater and pants. Simple— Black— Look at the buckle."

"I don't need a belt," he insists but I beg to differ.

"Great buckle— sixty percent off. Can you believe it?"

Me and Addy try not to laugh but all this is too comical. We watch as Dad tries to interject in Lorelai's madness but she's way too excited about these purchases.

She's gone completely crazy in the sales, and has even bought him a freaking suit. "You were not supposed to be shopping for me," Dad tells her, obviously not pleased, and I know he's going to try and send everything back, but I'll persuade him not to.

"I didn't. I also bought Lucy something," Lorelai says, pushing a bag into my hands, and I suddenly love Lorelai Gilmore.

"Thank you." I reach into the bag, and I pull out a beautiful dress that's blue and beautiful and sparkly. It's truly wonderful, and I'm relieved that Lorelai knows the colour that suits me the most.

I hold it up for Addy to see. "Oh, it's pretty."

"Thank you, Lorelai," I repeat, my smile still on my face as I look back to her.

"Take them back," Dad insists, but if he tries to take this off me, I'll hurt him.

Tristan will love this dress.

"Try them on, Luke," Addy pressures, her smile evil and demanding. I nudge my dad, hoping he'll listen and try these on.

"No way."

"You might like how you look."

"I'm fine with the clothes I have."

His clothes are great, and the lumberjack look isn't going anywhere, but it'd be nice if he made more of an effort, especially if he has to go out and dress up for special occasions.

Me, Lorelai and Addy try to convince him to change and try these beautiful clothes on. Heck, Lorelai even chases after him, waving one of the shirts in the air and he tries to escape. Somehow, I manage to push him up the stairs with bags on my arms so he can change.

"Try them on!" I exclaim.

With the pressure of three irritatingly annoying women, Dad tries on the clothes with a grouchy look on his face.

Upon seeing the outfit, me and Addy gasp because Luke Danes has never been so dressed up in his entire life. He looks decedent, all decked out in black regardless of the look on his face. He only wears flannel shirts and backward baseball caps, but he looks incredible in fancy clothing.

I love how he dresses, of course I do, but I also like this side of him.

"Luke Danes, you look damn good!" Addy claps her hands together, and I agree entirely. "Give me some ones, and twirl!"

     I laugh loudly. "Dad, you look dapper."

"Shut up," he says, pointing his finger towards us.

In the midst of all the excitement, Rachel walks back into the diner. We don't realise at first, but then Addy nudges me and I look towards Rachel, my eyes wide because she walked in at the worst possible time. Lorelai is currently fixing Dad's belt, trying to push the belt through the loops, and I can't believe this is what she's witnessing.

I clear my throat. "Hi, Rachel."

Dad and Lorelai look up to find Rachel, and Lorelai quickly backs away. "Uh, I'm gonna go." Lorelai begins to back away, nodding her head towards me and Addy.

I sit awkwardly, and I watch Lorelai sidestep past Rachel. "Uh, I'm gonna change," Dad says, quickly backing away to head upstairs.

I look between Rachel and Addy, shifting in my seat uncomfortably as Rachel steps into the diner. She moves past me and Addy— thankfully— and Addy laughs next to me.

I'm surprised she held her laughter in for this long. "Oh, shut up," I insist, laughing as well.

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     TRISTAN CALLS ME WHILE I SIT WITH ADDY UPSTAIRS and I move away so I can answer. I know she doesn't want to sit and listen to the conversation so I step towards my dad's side of the room while she remains on my side, trying to study.

I lift the phone to my ear. "Hey," I say.

"Hey, Blue. I've got something to ask you," he says, and I sit on my dad's bed.

"Okay..."

"I want to invite you over. To mine."

We've been together nearly six months and I haven't visited his home nor met his parents. I'm not surprised, especially given that his parents travel a lot, but I am surprised to hear that he wants me to come over.

I clear my throat. "Uh, really?"

He laughs. "Yeah, of course. I know I should've invited you a long time ago but I have some time, and I would love it if you came over."

"Okay," I chuckle. "Uh, when?"

"Next Friday?"

Wow, that's soon. I hadn't expected him to want me over this soon, but it has been six months so I shouldn't be surprised, right?

I look to Addy who is already staring at me. She's mouthing something to me but I can't understand her, so I just shrug and say, "Yeah, that sounds good. Next Friday," I repeat. "I mean, I'll have to ask my dad but I can call you back."

"Great." He sounds excited, happy. "Well, I'll speak to you later, okay?"

Before he hangs up, I interject quickly, "Wait." I pause, trying to think of the best way to say this. "Will your parents be in? Your sister?"

"No, it'll just be me and you," he confirms, and I fall silent for a second because we'll be alone in his house. Alone. "Is that... okay?"

I hum, my head nodding. "Yeah. Uh, I gotta go, okay? I'll call you back later."

Before he has the chance to say anything, I hang up and I step back over towards my side of the room where Addy sits with a closed textbook on her lap.

I fall onto my bed, and Addy turns to face me. "What's wrong?"

I turn my body to face hers, and I cross my legs on the bed. "Tristan..." I say, clearing my throat. "Wants me to come to his house next Friday." Addy stares at me in anticipation of what I'm about to say, and after a few seconds, I put her out of her misery. "And he's alone."

The shriek that leaves Addy's mouth makes me flinch, and her eyes go wide. "Oh, my God. He wants to see you? In his house? Alone? Oh, my God. Oh, my God!" Addy's voice increases in volume and some part of me wonders if my dad can hear through the ceiling.

"My God, Addy," I mutter.

"Are you gonna go?" she asks, and I look down at my hands instead of at her because I don't have an answer to that question. "Honey, you better be going."

I lean my body against the wall, and I sigh. "I... I don't know. I want to but we've never been alone like that," I whisper, actually afraid my dad can hear me. "When we're here, my dad is here or, well, the town is but now we're going to be in his house... Alone. Without anyone."

"Are you afraid that something more could happen?" Addy knows me better than anyone, we practically share the same thoughts, so when she confirms my worries, I nod shamefully. "Luce, talk to me. Why are you afraid?"

I don't know why I'm afraid. I shouldn't be afraid. I trust Tristan so much, and I even think I love him— something I want to tell him but can't just yet— so I shouldn't be afraid of what could happen, right?

"I honestly don't know why I'm afraid," I admit, chuckling softly.

"You like him, right?"

"What? Yes, of course I do," I scoff, finding Addy's question to be completely ridiculous because it's no brainer that I like him.

"Tell me what you're thinking, Luce."

I glance over at Addy, and I let out a shaky breath, ready to tell Addy how I'm feeling. There's no one I trust more— other than my dad— than Addy.

"He's... He's experienced, Addy. He's been with more girls than I know, and he's my first ever boyfriend, and it's scary, okay?" I had to meet his most recent ex-girlfriend at the party, and I had multiple girls glare me down like I was dirt, so I know he's experienced.

"I don't know what could happen," I say honestly, and Addy hums. "Recently... I've been thinking about it, you know, and that scares the hell out me." I laugh, my head falling into my hands in frustration.

Addy shifts closer to me until she's sitting right in front of me. She reaches for my hands, pulling them away from my face so I can look directly at her. "Lucy, it doesn't matter if he's experienced or if he's been with girl after girl, okay? He likes you. You're the girl he wants."

I know I'm the girl he chose at the end of the day, but there were many more before me. I just can't seem to shake that off.

Before I speak, Addy talks again, "Who cares about those past girls, Lucy. They aren't you. You're who he wants to be with. You're the one he loves, Luce, okay? He won't pressure you, and if he does, I'll cut his—"

"Addy," I interrupt, my eyes drawn together.

Addy laughs, and she takes both my hands into hers. "I mean it, Lucy, if he hurts you in any way, I will kill that boy."

I smile genuinely because I love my best friend a ridiculous amount. "I know you will," I  reply, squeezing my hand in Addy's.

"You've been thinking about it though?" I nod at Addy's question, and she smiles softly. "Okay. It's no surprise, I mean, you're sixteen and he's a boy and, well, he's nice on the eyes."

I laugh, louder than I intended to but Addy is the one who brings out the hyena kind of laughs. "Yeah, he is..." I say, my face turning red.

"You may be thinking about it, understandably but don't take that step until it feels right," Addy sighs, her eyes softening as she squeezes my hands. "When you look at him and feel safe, that's when you decide to take that step. When you feel like the only two people in the world, that's when you feel comfortable enough to take that step. When you love him, Luce, that's when you take that step, okay?"

Love will be the standing factor that helps me feel comfortable enough to take that step into something I can't take back. I know I love him— at least I think I do— and I know I want to tell him but the timing hasn't been right, not yet, but I will soon. Maybe Friday.

"Did it feel right with Nathan?" I ask, and Addy's face softens at the mention of her boyfriend.

They've been together for a year, and I know for a fact that she and Nathan have taken their relationship to the next level as she wouldn't stop talking about it when it happened a month ago. I, of course, was extremely happy for her because she seemed genuinely happy. I only ever want her to be happy.

"Yeah, it did," Addy says unsurprisingly. "And it'll feel right with Tristan, I just know it will, okay?"

"Yeah." Lucy nods, trusting Addy.

"Will you tell me if anything happens?" Addy asks, and I squeeze her hand in reassurance.

"Yes," I say without hesitating.

Addy's arms fall around my neck in a bone-crushing hug and I squeeze back just as hard. This hug feels as if we're assuring one another that we've always got each other to turn to no matter how difficult things may get. If things with Tristan don't go well like I want them to, I know Addy will be there to mend the pieces of my broken heart, and I will do the same, but I imagine she and Nathan are bound for marriage.

Now, I might be excited to see Tristan next Friday, but I have to ask my father if I can actually go. I promised him that I'd tell him everything, no matter how big or small, and I wasn't about to lie to him.

So when Addy leaves that night, I sit Dad down in the apartment. He has a dinner to get to with Rachel, but I assured him that I wouldn't take up too much of his time. He looks concerned which isn't surprising given that I haven't said a word since sitting him down five minutes ago.

"Lucy." Dad breaks her train of thought, and I snap my head in his direction. "Can you tell me what's going on?"

I clears my throat, and decide to get straight to the point. "Tristan invited me to his house next Friday. He's alone and—"

"No," Dad interrupts, and I clamp my mouth shut immediately.

Should I be surprised with how fast he dismissed it? Probably not, but I am. He even starts to push his chair back, ready to leave but I'm not finished with the conversation. He can't just say no, right? I mean— Okay, I don't have time for this.

"Dad, all the rules still apply, okay? I just—"

"Luciana, you aren't going," he says, his voice stricter than before.

"Dad, come on. I just—"

"Lucy, I told you I want you to stay safe and being with him— alone— isn't safe. God knows what will happen if—"

"Dad, nothing is going to happen," I insist because I definitely don't think I'll be ready to do that in a week.

"How do I know that?"

"Because it's me, dad. You know me. You trust me." I clear my throat and shift in my seat uncomfortably. "I'm not ready for that, like I told you before. Yes, I've thought about it but—"

"Excuse me?" Dad interrupts, and my face turns white. "You've thought about it?"

Crap. Crap. Crap.

"Dad," I sigh, realising he'll likely never let me go but I'm still gonna fight. "Look, I know you have every right to say no but I mean it when I say that I'm not ready. Nothing is going to happen on Friday, I swear on your life."

"You know I don't like when you swear on my life, Luce."

I chuckle. "I know," I say, clearing the lump in my throat. "I told you that I'd talk to you about it before it happened— well, not before, before— but you—"

"Stop talking, kid." Dad grimaces, and I shut my mouth before I say something stupid.

Dad leans forward, and he clasps his hands together. I hear him sigh, and I peer over at him as he mutters something under his breath. "I trust you, Luce, you know that I do but I need you safe. I don't know what his life is like— I can certainly imagine— but I don't know about his parents or where he lives and— Just how will I know that you're safe, kid?"

"I'll give you the address, I'll call you every hour— or half an hour if you prefer— and he'll drop me off at eleven," I say, rehearsing the words I already went over in my head hours before. "I swear that I'll be okay. We won't leave the house, I'll eat at his, and it'll be completely safe, Dad."

Dad inhales sharply, and I wait forever— three seconds— until he says, "Fine."

"Fine?" My eyes widen, and I lift myself off my chair. Dad does the same, and I barrel towards him so I can wrap my arms around him. "You said fine!"

Dad wraps an arm around me, and I can tell he isn't happy about backing down but I know that he trusts me. "I swear, if that kid does anything, Lucy, I'll kill him."

I squeeze him, laughing softly. "I know."

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authors note:

there's one chapter left until the end of season 1