CHAPTER FOURTY FIVE

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          THE BRUNETTE PULLED THE SYRINGE FROM JOEL'S WOUND AND HE GRIMACED, CLENCHING HIS TEETH TOGETHER IN PAIN. It had gotten significantly better and she only had a little bit left in the vials before they would run out of medicine. It should be enough to heal him and when she was done, Lucia carefully pulled the material of his shirt back down to cover him.

"How does it look?" he asked, not wanting to see his stomach as he kept her gaze solely on her. "Still hurts like hell."

Lucia cleaned the syringe before putting it back where she had stored it and gave him a small smile in return as she sat back. "It has looked worse. I think the infection's almost gone, but you need to be careful and keep cleaning it for a bit longer."

"Aye, doc." 

The brunette raised a brow at him and saw the amusement shining in his dark chocolate eyes. It was a color she could get lost in and the way he was looking at her made her look away for a moment, getting lost in her own thoughts. Lucia felt dirty and she wanted nothing more than a hot bath or a long shower to wash away the filth.

The last few days had been horrifying and she wanted to forget all about it, but she knew she couldn't.

Ellie hadn't said much since they had escaped from the resort and right now she sat against a tree, headphones on her head after Joel had managed to retrieve her backpack before they'd left. The teen was mindlessly doodling in her notebook, lost in her own world.

Lucia had an idea of what had happened to her, and even if the girl had insisted that David never got the chance to go that far before she killed him, it was still intended and Ellie was traumatised. And to be honest, so was Lucia as it had brought back many memories for her. It wasn't something she could easily shake.

"Hey, look at me." urged Joel, taking a hold of her chin. 

He searched eyes when she looked up at him and he saw the unshed tears brimming in her gaze. Joel had never seen the woman so broken and he didn't know how to fix it. Lucia had always been the strongest in the room and now that she wasn't he was clueless.

Joel offered her the best reassuring smile that he could and said, "You're okay. Ellie is going to be okay and i'm alive. That's shit's behind us now. They're all dead and they're not gonna come running, you hear me. You're safe, baby."

"I know," she mumbled, closing her eyes as he caressed the uninjured side of her cheek with his palms and she relaxed under his touch. The cut on her cheek was kept together by butterfly bandages and she knew it was going to scar. "It's just ... it's been so fucking shit. I was so scared you weren't going to make it, Joel. You don't know how scared I was."

Everything came pouring out and the smuggler was glad she was finally talking after three days. That's how long it had been since they escaped the town. Of course she had spoken after, but she had been more reserved and Joel was afraid she was going to disappear into herself like Ellie had done. He remembered the rage that coursed through his veins when he saw those lowlifes with their hands on Lucia and he hadn't hesitated to slaughter them, bringing the knife down over and over. 

"And then those men," she continued. "I should have killed them when I got the chance. I just couldn't because Ellie was with me and even if she's seen so much horror already I didn't want to add to it. It's all my fault. This never would have happened if I had just killed them."

"Hey, hey, stop that." urged Joel, brows pulled together as he gave a gentle but firm shake of her head. "Nothin' is your fault, you hear me? Don't do that to yourself, Luc. We're alive."

The unshed tears that were simmering on her waterline finally fell to her red cheeks and Joel didn't hesitate to wipe them away. His mouth twitched into a small smile and he leaned down to press his lips to her own. The woman whimpered against him from the amount of emotions coursing through her and he tightened his grip on her.

Lucia wrapped her arms around his neck and when she pulled back slightly, she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Let's get some more rest, sweetheart." he muttered, pressing his cheek to the top of her head and his eyes moved toward the teen a few feet away. "We have four more days of travel ahead of us before we reach Salt Lake City."

"Promise me we'll go back to Jackson straight afterward." she voiced. Even if Lucia hadn't liked the woman that ran the place, she couldn't disagree that the place was secure and practical. It had been awhile since she didn't feel like she needed to look behind her all the time. "I just want some peace."

Joel smiled slightly and nodded his head. "I promise."

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EVERY BIG CITY LOOKED THE SAME THESE DAYS, COLLAPSED BUILDINGS, FERNS GROWING THROUGH THE CREVICES AND NO SIGN OF LIVE ANYWHERE. Winter was slowly turning into spring, and while the snow had melted in the four day journey to Salt Lake City, it was still quite chilly outside and the army jacket Lucia wore wasn't helping.

The brunette glanced up from rummaging through her backpack when Joel called for the teen who sat in the back on a random truck as they scavenged the highway.

"Ellie," he called, smile on his face but she didn't turn around so he called her name again. "Ellie! D'ya hear me?"

"No." she furrowed her brows as she turned to him. "What?"

"Well, I found this in there." he said with a proud grin on his face as he held up the canned food. "Beefaroni. Chef Boyardee."

Ellie wanted to feel happy and to be fair she was quite hungry but she couldn't bring herself to do it as she muttered, "Oh, cool."

The smuggler furrowed his brows, looking at the items in his hands and sharing a quick glance with the brunette before he made his way toward the teen in the truck. He pocketed the food and held the other box up. "And have you ever played this? Boggle? It's a word game."

Ellie hummed and shook her head. "I haven't."

"Well, if you wanna beat me at somethin', it would be this" he joked, trying to coarse a smile out of her. Neither Joel or Lucia had gotten the girl to say much and they were starting to get worried. "Well, all right then. We're gettin' close. Hospital's that way. May be the one we're lookin' for."

"Got it." nodded Ellie, sliding off the back of the truck.

Lucia pocketed her own findings and swung her backpack over her shoulders. Joel crouched down to put the food and game into his own. His shoulders were tense and she rested her hand on one of them with a soft squeeze. Joel reached up and brushed his hand over her own before looking up at Ellie.

"Take this for me." he handed her his shotgun and got to his feet and Ellie handed it back once he got all his stuff situated. "Thanks."

The three of them began to walk down the highway and toward the city where the hospital was located. There hadn't been much stuff to loot from the cars but there were some useful things. They passed an RV and Joel glanced back at it, smile on his face.

"They had a guitar in that RV." began Joel, and Ellie turned back to peer at the vehicle. "It was all smashed up but got me thinkin' maybe I should find one. I haven't played in forever. In fact, I was thinkin' maybe I could teach you. I bet you'd be great at it."

Ellie let out a small chuckle and the smile on Joel's face widened. The brunette watched the two with her own smile, letting them have a much needed moment. 

"Do you wanna learn how to play guitar?" he wondered and it took the teen a moment but she didn't answer him as if she was back in her own little world. "Ellie?"

"Oh yeah," she nodded, playing with the hem of her blouse before looking up at the smuggler. "That'd be great."

Joel nodded to himself as they continued to walk. Lucia bumped her shoulder with his and said, "I didn't know you could play guitar?"

"I'm very good at it." he grinned and the brunette didn't know whether he was exaggerating or not. The woman narrowed her eyes in amusement and he shrugged his shoulders. "Told you I wanted to be a singer when I was younger, I wasn't lyin'. I made them too, occasionally."

"Impressive." chuckled Lucia and from the corner of her eyes she could see Ellie muster a smile of her own.

we're onto the last episode and i am not ready, we're almost done