CHAPTER THIRTY FOUR

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          MUD THAT HAD BEEN CAKED ON HER SKIN SLID DOWN HER BARE SKIN THE MOMENT SHE STEPPED UNDERNEATH THE HOT WATER. Steam wafted up all around her and she felt her pores opening to let out all the gunk from the last few months. She had looked vile and a shower was exactly what she needed.

The scent of some old coconut shower gel filled her senses as she washed. Soap clung to her dark locks as she brushed her fingers through her hair. Lucia ran her finger over the healed gunshot wound on her arm, feeling the rough skin where the bullet had hit.

Lucia closed her eyes and leaned back, letting the scalding hot water run over her face as she turned her head toward the ceiling. 

There was a soft knock on her door and Ellie called out quietly. "Lucia? Can you help me with something when you're done?"

"I'll be right there." said the brunette, blinking away the water as it ran over her tanned skin. Lucia heard Ellie trudge out of her room and her door closed behind her. 

The shower turned off, some lone droplets of water falling from the shower head as Lucia wrapped a towel around her body and stepped out on the wooden floor. The tub had been a bit slippery but she managed to get out without a fall. Lucia wiped away the condensation on the mirror and stared at her reflection. 

Her lips were chapped from the harsh winter and having licked them for moisture way too often. The dark circles underneath her eyes were prominent and her old scar that wasn't very noticeable most of the time stood bright pink against her cheek. 

The woman wrapped another towel around her dark locks and stepped into the bedroom, lifting up the navy blue shirt with her thumb and pointer finger. It was clean at least so she pulled it over her head. The rest of the clothes Maria had given her fit well enough and after tossing the towel back toward the bathroom she went to search for Ellie.

Lucia found the girl in her own bedroom, holding something in her hands along with a small card. Lucia had found one of those on her own bed too and huffed out a laugh.

"What even is this?" Ellie wrinkled her nose as she tossed the card away, confused while wrapping the bubblegum pink bathrobe tighter around herself. "Do I really need to ... you know?"

"If you want." said Lucia, crossing the threshold and taking a seat at the edge of the bed. The room was colourful, not at all what she had imagined Ellie to like. "It is easier and you don't need to find any pads or tampons. You can just wash these and use them again after."

"It looks ..." Ellie held it up to her face. "uncomfortable."

"At first, sure." Lucia nodded, offering her a smile. "You'll get used to it. I had a couple a few years back but lost them on a run. They were a life safer. Less messy and I didn't really have to worry about staining my underwear."

Ellie pulled another face but nodded her head slowly. "Okay," she trailed off, putting the diva cup in her backpack. "maybe i'll give it a try."

"If you need help with anything, you let me know, okay?"

"Thank you, Lucia." said Ellie, feeling grateful as she pulled at the sleeves of her new long sleeved shirt. "I'm glad you decided to stick it out with us."

"I wouldn't have it any other way, kid."

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JOEL MILLER HADN'T STEPPED FOOT IN A BAR SINCE THE EARLY DAYS HE HAD BEEN IN BOSTON. The Tipsy Bison was exactly what he needed when he had stormed out of the house an hour prior. At first, he had wandered Jackson aimlessly, not really knowing what to do until he stumbled upon his brother, who was now pouring him a drink.

"It's been a long time." stated Joel, running a hand over the polished wood of the bar top before looking up at Tommy. "Doesn't seem like you aged much."

"You, on the other hand." grinned Tommy, pouring himself a glass too. Joel's lips quirked up into a small smile, knowing how the outbreak had treated his age. He lifted his glass and Tommy clinked it with his. "Thanks for still givin' a shit about me."

Joel took a sip of his drink and raised a brow at the good taste and his brother explained, "Workin' on raisin' some hogs, too. Once we get bacon. I mean, what's even left?"

"Pfew," the smuggler blew out a breath, getting to his feet. "Christmas trees and bacon? Pretty decent setup."

The oldest of the two ambled toward the other side of the empty bar, glancing at the piano at the far end of it and taking in the pictures on the wall. He had shrugged off his jacket, leaving him in his dark green flannel and dark washed jeans.

"So how's Tess?" asked Tommy after a moment.

Joel didn't know how to phrase it as he thought back to the day of her death in capital building so he opted for, "She's fine. All right."

"Good then." nodded Tommy, pleased with the news. "And the kid? The woman? Who're they?"

"Oh yeah," sighed Joel, turning back to face him as he tried to say nonchalantly, "The girl is the daughter of some Firefly muckety-muck. Tryna find her family somewhere out there. I was heading in this direction, so ... The woman, she uh, she left the QZ around the same time we did. There were a lot of infected, guess we stuck together."

"Really?" Tommy didn't believe a single word that came out of his mouth. "Goodness of your heart?"

"There is a payment." confessed Joel. "For delivering the girl."

"And Lucia?" he tilted his head to the side. "What's gonna happen to her when you deliver the girl?"

"She's going to go her own way." stated Joel, but he knew that that was a bunch of bullshit himself. Tommy gave him a long look, like he wanted to say something but he refrained himself. "So you know where they might be? These Fireflies?"

"Well, they got a base down at the University of Eastern Colorado." admitted Tommy. "It's a week's ride south. But it is severely fucked up between here and there. Infected, raiders. It's not exactly an easy trip."

"It'll be easy for us, seeing as how you can headshot infected from half a mile away, which is a bunch of bullshit, by the way." shot Joel, taking another long sip from his alcohol.

Tommy shook his head as he sat down at the bar beside Joel. "Yeah, I can't go."

"Come on," huffed Joel. "I made it across the country. We can make it from here to Colorado." Tommy heaved a sigh and glanced away from him and down at the bar. "What, 'cause your wife won't let you?"

"Joel -"

"She the one who kept you off the radio? Is that why you stopped messaging me back?"

"After I ditched the Fireflies, Maria and her crew found me." explained Tommy, trying to convince his brother of the words that left his mouth. "They're good people. They didn't have to take me in, but they did. And all they ask is that I follow their rules."

"I'm your brother." stated Joel angrily.

"Yeah, i'm aware." he nodded with a humourless smile. "They're very protective of this place, and for good fuckin' reason. Folks find out we're up here -"

"No, I heard. Wrong people might show up." grunted Joel as he shook his head in disbelief. "So is that what I am? Am I the 'wrong people'?"

"Joel -" tried Tommy.

The smuggler couldn't believe his brother right now. He had been looking for him for so long and he had gone soft and he couldn't figure out why on earth he had done so. "Those things I did, Tommy, those things that you judge me for, I did those tings to keep us alive."

"We did those things." corrected Tommy. "And they weren't 'things'. We murdered people. And I don't judge you for it. We survived the only way we knew how. But there were other ways. We just weren't any good at 'em."

"If you knew the shit that i've been through, Tommy, tryin' to find you these last few months -" retorted Joel, but was cut off when Tommy opened his mouth.

"I'm gonna be a father." confessed his brother as Joel fell silent. "Maria's a few months along now. So I just gotta be more careful." Joel didn't know what to say, his heart was hammering inside his chest as he continued. "To be honest, i'm scared to death. But I don't know. I feel like i'd be a good dad."

Joel breathed heavily through his nose and poured himself another drink and grumbled. "Guess we'll find out."

"I guess we'll find out?" demanded Tommy. "That's all you got?"

"What else am I supposed to say?"

"Just because life stopped for you doesn't mean it has to stop for me."

Joel glared at his brother and he didn't even have a good reason for it. Tommy deserved this but he couldn't help but feel as if the floor had been swiped from underneath his feet. "We'll grab some supplies and be outta your hair in the mornin'."

Joel smacked his glass onto the bar and grabbed his coat from one of the nearby chairs, pushing the door of The Tipsy Bison open with force as he stepped out into the freezing afternoon air.

It was happening again. The pain in his chest. It hurt and for a moment he thought he was going to die out there. Joel grabbed onto one of the buildings pillars to steady himself, his other hand grabbed at his chest to try and ground himself.

He couldn't breathe. The air was being pulled from his longs and he could only describe it as if someone was sitting on his chest, not letting him breathe. He had had this before, after Sarah died, but that had been a long time ago and he didn't know why it was happening again.

Slowly, he lifted his eyes toward the small crowd that had gathered around the Christmas tree and he blinked. A woman stood there with her back turned toward him, dark mass of curls surround her head and for a moment he could see his daughter. The way she would have been if she never died that night during the outbreak. 

He kept staring at her and was slowly able to take in deep breaths again. The woman turned around, holding a young childs hand and she gave him a brief smile as she passed him in the street.

It was decided then and there. Joel couldn't do this anymore. He had to let them go, for their sake and his own.

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ELLIE KNOCKED ON THE DOOR OF TOMMY AND MARIA'S HOME WITH LUCIA IN TOW. When there was no answer, she tried the door handle and it swung open. The latter hadn't been too thrilled to go but she wasn't about to let the teen go by herself.

"Hello? Maria?" called Ellie.

The home was cosy, enough decorations along the walls to make it seem well lived in. The fire in the living room cascaded them in a comfortable warmth and she zipped her jacket open as she entered the space.

"What is that?" asked Ellie as she stood before the fireplace, looking at a piece of chalkboard resting on top of it.

Kevin 4/3/00 - 9/29/03

Sarah 7/20/89 - 9/27/03

"I think they died." muttered Lucia, not being able to tear her gaze away from the names written on the board. "They were so young."

The back door opened which startled Ellie as she turned toward Maria as she entered her home. She smiled at both girls. "Oh, good. Just traded for this. Go ahead, try it on."

The woman handed the teen a ghastly purple winter coat and Ellie took it reluctantly, sliding her arms through the holes and pulling it on. "It's super fucking purple."

"Eggplant." corrected Maria as if that was going to make a difference. "Does it fit you?"

"I guess." nodded Ellie, grimacing as she met Lucia's gaze.

"Shoes aren't too big?" 

"Uh, no."

"Thanks again for the clothes, Maria." acknowledged Lucia with a single nod. Despite the clothes being old, they smelled fresh and were clean. Something that was hard to come by these days. "We really appreciate everything so far."

"It is no trouble at all." she smiled and shook her head softly. "Did you get the thing I left you both?"

"Yeah," Ellie pulled a face. "weirdest gift ever."

"But very useful." shrugged Maria and took in Ellie's long locks of auburn hair. "Who's been cutting your hair, girl?"

Ellie said sarcastically, "World-class salons."

Maria chocked out a laugh and turned to walk toward her kitchen. "Let me get my scissors." When Ellie began to protest she glanced back. "Trim. That's all. Just the ends, I promise."

"Lucia can do it." tried Ellie, giving her a wide eyed stare.

The brunette scanned her face quickly to see if she even wanted her hair cut but when Ellie gave her a single nod she agreed. "I got this, give me the scissors."

Maria didn't argue with them and handed them to Lucia as Ellie sat down on the chair at the kitchen table. Her hair was still damp from her shower so Lucia had no trouble weaving her fingers through the locks to straighten them.

"Only the ends?" she murmured, squeezing Ellie's shoulder to get her attention.

"Just the ends." confirmed Ellie as Lucia began to cut about an inch from her freshly washed hair. The teen turned to Maria and asked, "So, were you a hair dresser back then or something?"

"No," Maria sat at the other end of the table with a glass of water in front of her. "I was an assistant district attorney out of Omaha, Nebraska." When Ellie didn't reply she explained, "I put bad guys in jail."

"Cool, I guess." muttered Ellie.

"I always liked doing hair, though." she smiled. "That's why I offered. Maybe it was a mom thing. You two were looking at the little memorial Tommy made?"

"I'm sorry about your kids." confessed Lucia, meeting the woman's eyes briefly. "I can't imagine what that's been like."

"It's okay." she frowned. "And kid. Just Kevin. Sarah was Joel's daughter."

Lucia stopped cutting Ellie's hair midway and frowned. The woman knew Joel had lost a child, she knew when Henry had brought it up back in Kansas City bit that was all she had know. The smuggler had never brought it up and she never asked, but losing a child the same day as the outbreak was absolutely vile and her heart ached for him.

"Maybe I shouldn't have said anything." uttered Maria.

"No, it's okay." said Ellie. "I guess that explains him a little."

"Look," began Maria, meeting both their gazes. "I'm not going to ask you what you're doing with him. But there are clearly things you don't know about Joel."

"We've been over this Maria." stated Lucia, as she finished with Ellie's hair. "We know. We know all of it, every ugly little part. Just because you're now married to his brother doesn't give you the right to judge him for it, like I said earlier."

The woman clenched her jaw. "So then you understand my concerns?"

"It's none of your fucking business." glared Lucia, throwing the scissors onto the table and the woman visibly flinched. "You don't know us and you sure as hell don't know him. You have no right to voice your opinion like that. And i'm getting really fucking tired of this."

"Tommy did it, too." added Ellie. "Are you worried about him?"

"Tommy was following Joel." she retorted, eyes solely on the brunette behind Ellie. "They way you both are now."

Lucia took in a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. The woman never felt the need to defend anyone but there was a tug in her chest whenever she heard Maria speak about Joel and she didn't want to grab her collar and pull her across the table. They'd be out of Jackson within seconds and she didn't want that.

God, but she really, really wanted to hurt her.

"You're a fucking bitch." she tilted her head to the side.

Maria's lips quirked up into a smile. "You'd make a hell of a lawyer. And there's a lot of things you're not telling me. Good. Therein lies the point. Be careful who you put your faith in. The only people who can betray us, are the ones we trust."

Lucia shook her head with a humourless laugh.

"Now come on," Maria got to her feet and said to Ellie. "Grab your super fucking eggplant coat."

"Where are we going?"

"The movies."

Okay, I LOVE Maria so much. Especially in the game, she's so badass. I don't really like how to first portrayed her in the show but I am hoping they're making her a bit more like the game personality wise in the next season! Super excited to write next chapter, not sure if the smut will be in that one or the one after but there will be smut!