𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍 || 𝘛𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘗𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦

"HOW'S THE KID DOING?" Natasha's clear voice filled the small testing chamber that Tony had directed Jaxon to with Leah by his side. Currently, Jaxon watched the girl create snowflakes around her. A gentle smile on her lips as she took in her work. A level of innocence Jaxon forgot could exist.

"She's just having fun," he stated, a clearness in his eyes that felt new. A clearness in his mind as he watched Leah move and use her powers for things so innocent. "Might have to find her a family or somebody close to us to take her in. She can't stay here." But snapping his fingers, he motioned toward the girl. "This girl can create a snowstorm in a matter of seconds if she wanted to. Set a vicinity that is affected by her powers and the best part about it? She can't get cold from any of this."

Natasha crossed her arms over her chest and watched Leah as well. A gentle smile on her lips as she glanced at the man beside her. "No problem to take her in yourself, Jaxon," she suggested. "Harry might be willing to take her in for the time being as well-"

"You know that isn't possible, Nat," he interjected. "I can't take care of a kid when I have other priorities. Harry's got enough on his plate as well."

We can.

Jaxon's lips twitched as his hands clenched by his sides. Closing his eyes as he rolled his shoulders back. "Close your thoughts, Natasha," he ordered, swallowing the bittersweet taste of repressed love. "You know why that wouldn't work. I don't need to explain our more than demanding jobs."

The woman pursed her lips. "Would it be too big of a concept to think about it though?" She questioned. "I know I fucked up Jax, but even I looked past your fucked up history-"

"That's because I hid nothing from you. I gave you the decision to leave me when I told you." His words stung, silencing Natasha. He turned his hollow gaze toward her, finding them filled with some sort of ocean that was swallowing her from the inside--restricting the air intake available when being this close to him. To so many unresolved conversations and feelings that still hung over the pair's heads like totems, reminders of the elephant in the room. "But what else are you hiding from me, Natasha? Is there going to be another situation that is going to end up with a bullet in my side or am I safe?"

"You know I wouldn't do anything to hurt you," she spat, rolling her eyes. "You heard what I told you. And if I was to plead with you for hours, would you even listen?" The silence made Natasha hum, nodding. "Thought so."

Jaxon's lips parted, nose flaring. But a beeping drew his attention. Glancing at the monitor to see the screen flashing green, notifying him of the complete testing. That was enough for him to look at Natasha and scoff, walking to the monitor and shutting it off.

Placing a finger on the intercom system for the chamber, he said, "Leah, time to hop out, kiddo." His voice brightened as the little girl turned to him with a smile, snowflakes falling around her.

"But I'm having fun in here, Jax! Let me stay," she pouted childlessly.

Jaxon laughed. "Kid, if I could, I would. But we don't need to run any more tests and Mr. Stark would hate us ruining his space."

"You mean, "asshole"?" Leah corrected innocently, stepping out of the chamber.

Natasha's lips parted, looking up at Jaxon, who pursed his lips, eyes flickering between the little girl and his ex. "Did you teach her that?"

"Nope."

"You called him that when you two were talking. You called him ass-" Leah couldn't finish before Jaxon placed a hand over her lips.

He laughed. "Alright, that's enough. We can't have you spouting that out around the tower," he muttered. "We should probably get you a dress or something for whatever Tony has planned for the next coming days."

Natasha snorted, crossing her arms over her chest. "What do you know about dresses?"

Lifting Leah onto his back, he shrugged. "I'm winging it. I'll get the kid whatever she wants," he said. "How does that sound, icicle?"

"That's not my name," Leah pouted.

"Well, I came up with it, so, you can enjoy it at least a little."

"No."

Natasha smiled, walking past Jaxon. "C'mon. I'll help."

Jaxon sighed. "Nat-"

"I promise it won't get weird, ok?" Natasha smiled, continuing to lead.

A deep guttural groan fell from Jaxon's lips as he followed hesitantly. "I don't like the sound of this."

JAXON'S EXPERIENCES WITH DRESSES WERE VARIED AND A LOT OF THEM WERE EASILY FORGETTABLE. He believes he remembers a time when he was there when Sharon had gotten a dress for a special family occasion. But that time was still hard to grasp and sift through the details, Jaxon found himself growing a headache at the simple thought.

That still didn't make him unknowledgeable. Well, he'd like to think so but Natasha seemed to be taking the reigns from him and helping Leah pick what she wanted. And so far, Leah couldn't seem to decide.

She looked lost amongst the expensive fabrics. A lot of it, if not all of it, was new to her and Jaxon understood why she seemed to rely on Natasha's word more than her intuition. The girl had been experimented on with the sole purpose to be used as a weapon. Her entire existence was crafted to kill and perfected with the next batch of super-humans made.

But he was glad to have taken the call from Hill. If he didn't, he wouldn't be feeling the way he was.

"Jaxon! Which one should I get?" Leah bounded over, grinning ear to ear with the two dresses in her grasp. The man sat up from the couch, blowing a raspberry with his eyes inspecting each dress.

In one hand she held a sundress. It was an artic blue with navy blue and white polka dots scattered across the fabric. It made her stand out amongst the likely dark colours he knew others would wear with the rare exception of Natasha. But the colour made her icy eyes pop. But in the other was a ball gown. It was beige with embroidery on the chest of a flower. It had sparkles throughout, specifically made to catch the eyes of girls who wanted to look "fancy". Then again, what the hell did he know about kids? Most of the time, he hated them.

"Um... I mean, they are...something," he mumbled, looking between them.

Natasha, standing behind Leah, chuckled. "You have no idea, do you?"

"Yeah, no," he confessed, sighing. "But maybe Nat can give you a better answer. After all, she knows more than me. But whatever you choose, I'll buy it for you so don't be afraid."

Leah paused for a few moments, expression shifting into deep concentration as she pondered over the options. And if Jaxon was being honest, she looked adorable. "Well, what are you wearing?"

Jaxon frowned slightly, a soft chuckle slipping out as he glanced at Natasha before looking back at the little girl. "Well, I mean, I'm going to be wearing a suit. Like, a button-up and some dress pants. Maybe a tie if I feel like I want to be that presentable."

"Then I'll just do that," Leah said, smiling. "We can match."

That made Jaxon laugh, leaning forward with his hands clasping together. "Uh, are you sure?" He asked, waving his hand to the wide inventory of dresses. "There's nothing here that you like?"

She shrugged, lips pursing. "I don't know much about dresses. I was more used to seeing men in suits back in the facility."

The two adults couldn't stop themselves from glancing at one another. Both shared their own troubled pasts and childhoods. Trauma clinging to them and challenging them in their own ways. Despite the subtle shift in the mood, Leah smiled. "And I don't like dresses either way. I'd prefer looking cool."

Jaxon chuckled, eyebrows scrunching together slightly before he shrugged. "Then, I guess, go look at the button-ups and pick what you like the most and we can see if it fits."

Leah smiled widely, running in the direction of the shirts, a hop in her step.

Natasha smiled, looking back at Jaxon. "You have a soft spot for her, you know that?"

"I have no such thing." He stood to his feet. "C'mon. We might as well figure out what we're wearing for this unnecessary party." Jaxon didn't want to think himself capable of having a soft spot for the girl because, in shape or form, he felt like his past prevented him from it. But harbouring those memories would only make it harder for him to sleep at night.

They split up with Jaxon standing near Leah. Giving her recommendations for some button-ups that caught her attention a moment longer than others. And to be honest, he probably wouldn't have cared about dressing nicely if it wasn't for Harry demanding him to dress for the occasion every time he came back to MI6 headquarters. But now, in this one certain situation, he was glad the old man gave him pointers on suits.

After deciding on a somewhat matching outfit, Jaxon stood outside the change rooms as Leah entered a free one. And it took a few moments before a man came stepping out of one, a satisfied and pleased look in his eyes as he held a tux over his arm with his graceful strides directed toward the front desk.

With a scoff, Jaxon took up the free room, placing his button up on the latch before turning to shut the door. But just as it was an inch from being shut, a hand grasped the edge and forced it open. "What the hell, Nat?" He puffed, staring at her incredulously.

"What?" She questioned, slightly amused. "There are no other changing rooms available and it's not like we've been in the same room when we've changed," Natasha replied, sounding like it was the most normal thing.

Instead of arguing, Jaxon just huffed and peeled his shirt off. Natasha could hear him muttering under his breath, grumbling like a child, causing her to smile.

Slipping the Saint Laurent dress shirt on, he began to button it up. Trying to ignore the sounds of pants ruffling behind her and fabric gliding across smooth skin. Glancing in the corner of his eye, he had a reflection from the mirror mounted on the inside of the door, seeing Natasha's half-bare body. But he also caught her gaze. Yet, he held it for a few moments, swallowing the cement in his throat before refocusing on his shirt. Turning slightly, Jaxon faced toward the mirror to get an early look at what the shirt looked like on him.

"I miss you." Jaxon tensed, his hands freezing and fiddling with the button. He hated this. He hated the idea of having to do this at the moment. Time and place were very important to him nowadays and having this confession of feeling while sharing a changing room wasn't the ideal place for it.

But being this close to her made it hard for him to keep his new morals in place. They seemed more meaningless now than ever before. And his emotions? They flared in multiple different ways, creating difficulty to pinpoint what it was that irked him so much. It was too warm in this small space and he felt trapped by these multiple conflicting thoughts and weird sensations that seemed to project all at once.

But he knew exactly what bothered him and it was hard for him to just shake it off or forget about it when she was around. She'd lied. She chose someone else over him. That wasn't something easy to forget.

"Nat, we can't-" He exhaled heavily, feeling her arms curl around his waist with her body pressing to his back.

"You don't know how much I need you." Natasha's arms squeeze a little tighter around him, grip becoming vice with each growing second. "I just wish you could understand and would forgive me. But I know that is too much to ask from you after everything."

His lips parted for a moment, words ready to spill out, but he stopped himself. It seems he'd been doing that a lot lately. Refraining from saying something that might stab a little too deep. Because, truthfully, he didn't want to do that. He didn't want to hurt her intentionally.

"It's not too much to ask for."

Natasha froze, taking her turn to look at the mirror and found Jaxon staring at himself, expression unreadable. She watched and felt his hands hesitantly rest over his where he squeezed softly. "You aren't the first person I dated Natasha, but I want you to desperately be the last. If it is us breaking up or us staying together, I mean it in both ways," he muttered, chuckling to himself. "And you make it so hard for me to do my job. I was so fucking good at my job because for so long I didn't have you. But when I did, I couldn't concentrate on what needed to get done and I couldn't operate properly when I'm near you. My heart could fucking burst at any moment when you're around and when you say these beautiful things that I don't deserve to hear, I feel like I am a different person for a bit. I despise and love you for it."

Pursing his lips, he inhaled deeply, exhaling and shaking his head. "That's why it is so hard for me to look at you and imagine you would be the one to hurt me." Grasping her right hand, he guided it under his shirt and pressed it into an indent on his body. And with the fabric bunching up around his wrist, it revealed the wound she inflicted. That's when his gaze found hers. A sense of pain swam in those brown orbs that pierced her green ones. "This is my constant reminder of what you did and it is something I will never forget."

Natasha licked her lips and nodded sullenly. She wanted to protest and tell him that she wouldn't ever do it again. She'd lost him once and she didn't want to lose him again. It was already difficult as it was not being able to hold him or share a level of intimacy with him anymore. Even hearing his voice seemed more rare than even touching him. She wanted it all back but she didn't know how to repair something of her doing.

"But that doesn't mean that we are over." Natasha lifted her gaze, finding Jaxon's already focused on her. "You just have to understand that this is going to take some time for me to heal."

"Then heal." She kissed your arm. "I'll be waiting-"

A loud banging caused Natasha to stop herself with the both of them staring at the show underneath the door. "Yeah?" Jaxon said, frowning slightly.

"Jaxon, come out here!' Leah exclaimed. "I look so frickin cool!"

A laugh fell from Jaxon's lips with a shake of his head and Natasha smiled, pressing her lips to his arm again. "I think she found her role model."