BACK TO YOU

seventeen. we know

▬▬ LENNOX WORE A SMILE, a simple upturn of her lips, as she toyed with Conrad's fingers. His hand splayed on her thigh, the silk fabric of her dress under his palm.

His own lips twitched upwards, his eyes lingering on the girl that sat to his right, her body angled just slightly away from him – only so she could see the debs as they were announced. But she hadn't looked up upon the name of a single one, the boy beside her had all her attention – at least his hand did.

She laid her palm against the back of his hand, forcing her fingers between his before she closed her hand around his. He copied the action, closing his hand and gripping her fingers along with the soft material of her dress.

She hummed, turning to look up at him and he was already looking at her. She could tell there was something on his mind, something was bothering him.

She wondered if what troubled him was the same thing that troubled her thoughts. And she wanted so badly to ask him to ditch with her, she wanted to get to the bottom of things.

She also wanted to make sure that he was sure about her, before he went off to college, but before she even leaned towards the boy she was reminded of why they couldn't leave… just yet.

“Isabel Conkiln, daughter of John Conkiln and Laurel Park.” Paige, the woman in charge of the debutante ball, announced and the audience clapped. “A student at Chesterbrook High School where she is captain of the varsity volleyball team.”

Lennox watched, her smile growing, as Belly and Jeremiah made their way across the stage. She fought the urge to shout the girl’s name.

Fortunately, she didn't shout. She merely waved at the girl, her smile wide, to which both Belly and Jeremiah smiled – holding in their laughter.

“Are you making faces?” Laurel asked, her voice hushed as she leaned towards the table.

“I would do no such thing.” Lennox held her hand to her chest, as if offended but a warm smile played on her lips as she turned towards the woman.

“Isabel is also an avid swimmer, and this summer raised $5,000 for the county women's shelter.”

The girl and her escort stopped for pictures, and Belly puckered her lips a little.

“Why is Belly making that weird face?” Laurel asked.

“I have no idea.” Susannah answered, getting the girl's attention before smiling wide, using her fingers as if to demonstrate, which Belly finally caught onto.

“Okay, that one wasn't me.” Lennox turned, looking over at the moms. “I promise.” Both women laughed lightly, smiling at the girl as she turned back around in her seat, sparing the boy to her left a smile.

Her eyes then settled on her sister, holding her hands up in her heart as they crossed the floor towards them. Both Belly and Jeremiah had to bite back their laughter again, none of them listening as Paige announced the next deb.

And while they came to a stop, Belly neared the table, handing her bouquet to her mom, who stood from her seat and hugged her.

And on her way back towards her escort, she shot Lennox a look, “Behave.” The word was a mere whisper, but Lennox heard, rolling her eyes in response.

But, again, her attention was pulled towards Conrad as he reached for her hand. She smiled up at him, easily slipping her fingers between his and squeezing. She brought their hands up, lightly kissing the back of his hand before letting them rest against her thigh.

But her smile faded when Laurel pushed herself to her feet and left the table. Her hand tightened around Conrad's, she knew something was up. She just knew it, but she didn't know what.

Then John stood up, following after his ex wife.

“Suze, do you-”

“No.” She shook her head, but her answer came quickly. Almost too quick, cutting the girl off before the question was out of her mouth.

Lennox's brows pulled together, a small divot forming between her brows, as she turned towards Conrad, who simply shrugged his shoulders.

“I'm gonna-”

“No, you have to watch this.” Belly stopped her, her hand on her forearm and her smile wide.

Lennox only nodded, but her worry didn't fade, even as Laurel and John rejoined the table and the music started.

And she wasn’t disappointed. She laughed and cheered as the escorts did a dance number, though it was mostly Jeremiah and Steven that she cheered for. And though it had brought a smile to her face, her worry never really faded.

After the escorts’ dance, Lennox smiled as she and Belly talked, merely chatting away about the dresses, the makeup, and most of all the dance. But she caught movement out of the corner of her eye, and just as she turned to see what it was, she watched as Jeremiah walked away from the table.

Worry settled deep in her stomach, twisting her insides in the most uncomfortable way. She felt sick, but she maintained her smile as she refocused on Belly.

But before they could say much more, someone tapped on their glass, signaling the dance and Belly looked around. “I don't know where Jeremiah is.”

“He'll be here in a minute, I’m sure.” Susannah reassured her. “Go, get ready.”

“Okay.” Belly mumbled, pushing herself up and making her way to the dancefloor. But the boy never showed, and worry only settled deeper in Lennox’s gut.

“Hey, Connie,” she turned towards the boy. “I'm gonna go find Jere, you save Belly.”

“What?”

She gave him a soft smile. “You know the dances, go save Belly.” She leaned up and lightly pressed her lips against his before she pushed herself up, glancing over at Susannah. “I'll find him.” She told her, getting a nod, then she made her way through the ball room.

“There you are.” Lennox sighed as she neared the pool, seeing the boy sitting on the diving board. “We were-” she stopped when his eyes – the color of a glacier – turned towards her. The tears that fell down his cheeks sent her heart dropping into her stomach. “What's wrong?”

She rushed towards him, her heels preventing her from getting there faster. “My mom…” his voice cracked.

“What?” She squatted down in front of him, keeping her dress in place. “Jere, please.” Tears filled her own eyes for no other reason than worry. Worry for the boy in front of her, and for the woman who has been like a mother to her for as long as she could remember. “Talk to me.”

“H-Here.”

He handed her the phone in his hand and her eyebrows creased as she took it, turning it so she could see the screen and the first three words she saw were in bold: UPCOMING CANCER TRIALS.

The confusion set in, followed by the crushing weight of reality when she realized that it was Susannah’s phone.

“No.” She shook her head, her eyes spilling over with tears. “This can't-” she looked up to her best friend. “This-”

“It's true, Len.”

She shook her head, her chest growing tight as her hands shook. Her head pounded, her breaths grew labored, like she was struggling to even get air into her lungs. Her legs gave out and she fell backwards, her ass hitting the pavement.

The boy moved quickly, taking the phone and sitting it to the side as he sank to the ground next to her. His arms winding around her and pulling her in close. She turned, wrapped her own arms around him.

No matter the panic that welled in her chest and pressed all the air from her lungs, she knew she needed to be there for him. She sat up straighter, tightening her arms around him as he cried into her shoulder and she cried into his.

>>>>> • <<<<<

▬▬ LENNOX HELD ONTO Jeremiah's hand as he opened the large door of the ball room, her grip tightening as the weight of walking into the room pressed on her shoulders.

“Breathe.” He whispered, his voice low and she nodded, forcing herself to inhale then to exhale. 

They weaved through the tables, merely sparing a glance at the dance floor, and just as she was about to turn her head, Conrad's eyes met hers. He didn't miss a step as he brows creased, but her face didn't change. His heart sank at the look in her eyes, she looked utterly and completely… broken.

It was the same look she had when he had broken up with her that weekend in April she had visited him in Boston. And it didn't help that her makeup had been wiped away, he knew something was wrong.

“Jeremiah, honey, where were you?” Susannah asked as they approached the table.

“I-I ate something.” He stumbled over the lie. “I think maybe the shrimp was bad.”

“Oh, honey. I am so sorry.” She told him before turning towards Laurel. “You know, the caterer is gonna be hearing from me.”

“Okay, Karen.”

“I’ll get you some Ginger Ale.” She told him before trying to flag down a waiter, but it seemed useless.

Lennox gripped his hand tighter, her eyes on the woman before them. She hated herself for not realizing sooner, for not seeing it. She has been too busy ignoring Conrad, kissing Nate, and running from her feelings.

And it was all stupid. None of it mattered, not when the woman she looked up to most, was dealing with the unthinkable.

“You alright, Angel?” Susannah asked, her voice soft as her hand landed in the girl's arm.

Lennox shook her thoughts off, forcing a smile. “I-I’m alright. I had the shrimp, too.” Jeremiah squeezed her hand and she forced herself to breathe again.

In. Out.

And when the dance ended the room erupted in a wave of applause, everyone standing to their feet.

“We'll be right back.” Jeremiah told them, tugging Lennox with him.

“Oh, no, are you gonna be sick again?” His mom asked, her worry clear in her face. “Where is the Ginger Ale? I'm gonna get you one from the bar, both of you.” She gave them a small smile before making her way towards the bar and the two crossed the dance floor.

“Hey, Jeremiah, where were you?” Belly asked, looking at the boy.

“Conrad, we need to talk, all right? It's important. It's about Mom.” Jeremiah squeezed Lennox’s hand, and Conrad's eyes drifted to her. Her knuckles had turned white from her grip on his brother's hand. Her chest rose and fell in unsteady, but calculated breaths. Her eyes were red rimmed, her cheeks puffy. He knew she had been crying.  “I found something out.”

“Um... Yeah…” The older Fisher boy trailed off, but he knew exactly what his brother was talking about. He reached out for Lennox and she shuffled towards him, almost collapsing into his chest. “We'll-we'll talk about this later, okay?”

“No, it's important.”

“It's okay.” He tried to soothe his brother and the girl in his arms, his hand drifting up and down her spine.

“You already know, don't you?” Jeremiah asked and Lennox took a step back, her eyes brimming with tears. “You've known this whole fucking time and didn't tell me?”

Lennox took another step back, shifting away when Conrad tried to pull her back to him. But she just looked up at him, searching his eyes. “You did.” She mumbled, the realization beating down on her already burdened shoulders.

“Jere… Len…”

And before anyone could say anything else, Jeremiah threw his fist out, hitting Conrad in the face. The older boy doubled over as a gasp rippled through the crowd. Then, without warning, Jeremiah tackled his brother.

“Jeremiah!” Lennox shouted, trying to stop him, her tears slipping down her face. “Jeremiah! Conrad! Stop!” She moved towards them, trying to pull the younger boy off of his brother. But that only resulted in her getting shoved when they rolled across the floor.

She stumbled, unable to catch herself in her heels and she hit the floor with a thump as the crowd of people just watched.

“Stop it.” Susannah rushed over, her voice soft but firm. “Both of you, stop it.” They pulled apart, Jeremiah pushing himself to his feet first. And when Conrad spotted Lennox on the floor, tears in her eyes and her hands wrapped around her ankle he quickly pushed himself up.

He squatted down in front of her, his hand on her cheek. “You okay, baby?” She shook her head and he sighed. “Let's get you up.” He took her hands and stood up, pulling her with him. And when she winced, he slipped his arm around her waist. Taking some of the weight off of her ankle.

“What is going on?” Susannah demanded, looking between her two boys and teary eyed girl.

“Mom…” Jeremiah's voice cracked.

“We know, mom.” Conrad told her.

“All three of us.” Lennox added, her voice shaky as she held onto Conrad. And realization washed over the woman’s face.

“Know what?” Belly asked, looking from the three towards her mom and Susannah.