BACK TO YOU

thirteen. i fucking love you

▬▬ AFTER DROPPING CALLIE off at home to get ready for the tourney, Lennox made her way home. She smiled when she pulled into the driveway and saw Susannah painting Belly under the archway. Belly looked uncomfortable as she sat on a stool, a beautiful white dress on but she groaned a little as she adjusted it.

“Wow, Bell, look at that dress.” Lennox mused as she neared the two.

“Isn’t it lovely?” Susannah grinned, looking away from her painting for just a moment.

“Yeah, it is. But it isn’t really Belly.” Lennox told her. “I mean, you look amazing, but a little uncomfortable.”

“It’s just hot.” Belly told her and the older girl nodded.

“So, how was photography class?” Susannah asked.

“Today was just setting up for the gallery. It’s in a few days. I got all my photos picked out, just have to send them to my teacher to print up and tomorrow we're gonna hang them.”

“I’m so proud of you, angel.” Susannah leaned over and kissed the girl’s cheek, smearing a little bit of paint on her nose. “Oh, I’m sorry.” She chuckled.

“No, it’s fine.” Lennox laughed, wiping at it but she was sure she was making it worse. “It’s everywhere now, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Susannah nodded.

“Well, I’m gonna clean up. It looks amazing, Suze.” She told her before making her way towards the house and Belly watched as she went and Susannah knew just by that look that Belly wanted to talk to Lennox.

“You can go. I’m all done.” She told her and Belly smiled as she stood up and followed after Lennox.

“Len.” She caught up to her, the bottom of her dress in her hands so she didn’t trip.

“Hey, Bell.”

“Um, I’ve been meaning to talk to you. Last week, I overheard you and Conrad. You guys were together?”

“Oh.” Lennox mumbled, her voice almost defeated. “I-I wanted to tell you but I was scared. I know you’ve had a crush on him forever and I didn’t want to hurt you, you’re my sister, well, the closest thing I have to one."

"You could've told me. You can tell me anything."

"I didn't want you to hate me." Lennox told her, feeling a rush of tears build up behind her eyes but she held them back.

"I could never hate you. You're my sister." That was all it took to get the wall to fall and her tears rushed down her cheeks

"Bell." She moved towards Belly and wrapped her arms around her.

"So, tell me everything." Bully mumbled, both girls still holding onto each other and Lennox let out a soft chuckle as she pulled back. She wiped her eyes and smiled up at the taller girl. "I mean it, Len, let's go." She pointed towards the stairs and Lennox laughed as they started up them, first stopping in the bathroom to wash the paint from her face before heading to Belly's room to get ready for the tourney.

>>>>> • <<<<<

▬▬ "IT'S A BIG DAY. How are you feeling?" Lennox asked, using her best reporter voice as she held a spatula out towards Belly.

Belly leaned towards the makeshift microphone. "I'm feeling good. Confident."

"That's what we like to hear." Lennox hummed. "But, I must warn you. I will also be cheering for Steven. I have to, I can't play favorites."

"That's good because we all know that Jere is your favorite."

"I neither agree nor disagree with that statement."

Belly laughed as she mixed up her shake for the game. "Exactly." Belly hummed and Lennox just grinned, but it faded slightly when Conrad walked over to them.

"Good luck today, Belly." He told her, giving the girl a smile as she returned it.

"Thanks."

"Uh, Len, can I talk to you for a moment?" He asked and Belly gave Lennox a wide eyed look, which made the older girl roll her eyes.

"Sure." She slid off her stool and followed the boy into the living room, Belly sneaking towards them so she could hear.

“I'm sorry.”

“Oh,” she had not been expecting that. “For what exactly?”

“Um…” he reached up to scratch the back of his neck. “I-I messed up and I lied.”

She shifted on her feet, crossed her arms over her chest as nothing more than a means to try and protect herself. “About what?”

“We can't be just friends. I-I can't. It kills me every day not being able-”

“Stop.” She shook her head, her voice quiet.

“I know I pulled back, I thought that I needed to fix myself before we-”

“Conrad.”

“-could be together.”

The girl huffed and stepped towards him, covering his mouth with her hands and he looked at her with wide eyes. “Shut. Up.” He merely nodded his head and she let her hands fall as she took a step back. “I've waited for you to say that to me all summer, hell, ever before summer. But the only reason we can't be together is you. You need to figure out what you want, I can't do this back and forth, it hurts too much.”

“Len, please… I’m trying.”

She shook her head, tears filling her eyes. “Until you do, we can't… I can't…” she took a breath. “So, if that's all…” She turned to walk away.

“Actually…” he stopped her and she turned to face him. “- will you go to the deb ball with me? It's really important to my mom and-"

"Conrad."

"Look, it won't be anything. She asked me to ask you. She's making this big deal out of it and I don't want to disappoint her.”

Lennox stood there, fighting a war within. She couldn't say no, especially not when Susannah wanted something. But there was a problem if she said yes. "You know I can't say no to your mom." She mumbled, her next words seemingly impossibly hard to say. "But if we go together, it'll end the way it always does. And I can't go through this again, because every time you change your mind it kills me.”

Tears filled her eyes and he reached up, wiping at them. “Why are you crying? Please don't cry.”

A rush of anger surged through her, “Because I fucking love you, you idiot! And you don't seem to feel the same or even care. And I-”

He wasn't thinking. He just leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers, this time both were completely sober. The girl was taken by surprise but easily melted against him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders as she pushed onto her toes to kiss him just a little harder.

“No.” She quickly pulled back, tears drifting down her cheeks. “I told you we-”

“Len, I’m sorry.” He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her to him. “I love you. So please just… don't say it.”

Belly backed away, her eyes wide, and she would've made it if she hadn't bumped into the stool, sending Lennox's bag to the floor – luckily it didn't house her camera. The girl froze, her eyes closed as the two turned towards her, quickly moving apart.

"Belly?"

"I didn't see anything." Belly kept her eyes closed as she stood there. "I'm gonna go." She turned and made a break for it, opening her eyes the second she wasn't facing either of them.

"Belly," Conrad rushed out, following after the girl before Lennox could stop him. Instead of following she just made her way over to her bag and started shoving her stuff back into it.

>>>>> • <<<<<

▬▬ LENNOX STOOD WITH A clipboard in her hands and a scowl on her face, her eyes narrowed against the sun as she shook her head. “This is ridiculous.” She mumbled under her breath. “No, that goes o-over here. Yes, thank you.”

Conrad chuckled as he neared the girl, his hand in the pockets of his shorts. “You okay?”

She hummed a little as she nodded her head, her curls bouncing with the movement. “People are just incompetent.”

“It’s a volleyball tournament, it doesn’t have to be-” He stopped when she narrowed her eyes at him, a soft chuckle leaving his lips. “You seem extra worked up, what’s going on?”

She hesitated for a moment, looking over the clipboard again to make sure every Susannah had asked her to check was done. “Nothing.”

“You’re lying.”

She sighed as she looked up at him again. “I just… I got a lot going on. This, and the gallery opens in a few weeks, the deb ball is right around the corner, and you know how I feel about these things. You're not making things easy. And my dad isn’t answering my calls, which isn’t new but it’s frustrating because he had these movers come in and get everything out – not my stuff, but the rest – and I can’t find these pictures of Owen that I took. Or any of our pictures. And doing this helps me not-”

“Stop, breathe.” He stopped her, letting his hands cover hers. He saw the slight shake as she gripped the clipboard and he wanted to help, having dealt with his own panic attack earlier that morning. “We’ll find the pictures.” He told her, taking the clipboard and sitting it to the side before pulling her into his chest. Her arms wrapped around his torso and her hands fisted around his shirt as she let out a shaky breath. She squeezed her eyes closed to stop the forming tears from falling as she tucked her nose into his chest, letting the familiar feel of his arms and the sound of heartbeat sooth her. “Um, I’ll see if my mom or Laurel can get him on the phone. As for the gallery, your photos are amazing, everyone’s gonna love them.”

“You think so?” She mumbled, turned her head a little and let her cheek rest against him.

“I know so.” He nodded, his chin on the top of her head as he slowly rubbed her back, his fingers trailing up and down her spine. “I know the deb thing is my fault. I-I shouldn't have asked and I’m sorry about what happened after…”

“Suze asked you to ask me, it’s not your fault.” She mumbled, leaning into him just a little more.

“Yeah, but I… I want to go with you. I didn’t get to last year.”

She hummed, simply nodding her head. It was true that the two had agreed to go together, not that she was a deb, but they were supposed to go to the ball to support their friends. But Nicole’s escort ditched at the last minute, and Conrad had stepped in, as nothing more than a friend.

“As for the other thing, I know I've been a dick, and I'm sorry.” He took a breath. “I just have a lot on my mind, but that's not an excuse. I'm sorry, Len. I really am.”

“I’ll let you know. About the deb ball.” She told him and he nodded, resting his cheek against the top of her head. “And thank you.” She took a step back, smiling up at the boy, who just wanted her back in his arms. “I was kind of freaking out.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” He gave her a small smile before she grabbed the clipboard again.