༉˚*ೃ 𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 (𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐎 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇).

( spoilers. the hunger games, the queen of blood, wilder girls, game of thrones / a song of ice and fire, stranger things, IT chapter one and two, strange the dreamer, muse of nightmares, the last of us, the maze runner / the death cure, the haunting of hill house (both the netflix show and the book), harry potter. most of these spoilers are minor but read at your own risk! )

though the term "kill your darlings" doesn't actually relate to the idea of killing your characters, and rather the concept of cutting out unnecessary parts of your story (and i acknowledge that), it is definitely one of my favourite sayings for doing just that. i love killing characters, though not as much as i used to when i was younger (my favourite is making them ALMOST die but just scrape by, the potential for ANGST), but there's definitely a correct way to do it! in this chapter i'll run through the proper way for how to kill your darlings, when to know to not, and the different ways they can go. plus, as a treat, a bit of a preview into how a character might experience grief (which will be a chapter of its own at some point).

TOO MUCH CHARACTER DEATH.   →      *   .    &

one important thing i want to preface is that a lot of amateur writers want to be angsty and kill all their important characters for pain and edginess, which was, like, totally me at that age too, but it's extremely important to realise that killing off too many characters could make readers not want to read your story anymore. this is definitely a massive problem. yes, there are writers out there — george r. r. martin, i'm looking at you — who kill off like 90% of their characters and get away with it, but i would strongly avoid it.

i feel like pretty much everyone knows that feeling when their favourite character dies. soul-crushing, will stick with you forever. but if that character dies unjustly, too suddenly, or if too many of your favourite characters die, there's a pretty big chance you'll just stop watching or reading all together. this happened to me with the 100 (season 3, cough cough) where three of my favourite characters died in three consecutive episodes, and after the third i promptly turned off the show and never watched it again. sometimes is just too much. as a reader who loved those characters, you become discouraged and lose your motivation to read, with your favourite characters gone — so you just stop.

this is why i feel like there has to be a limit on character deaths that writers should acknowledge. reading gritty, apocalyptic fiction where the stakes are high is fun, but most readers have a limit where it just gets too gritty and too many main characters die, that they just get bored. there should be motivation in killing your characters: how it affects your central characters; if they'll get brought back; how it affects the world (rue, from the hunger games, comes to mind in particular here); if it's sacrificial; if it has an impact. most readers and viewers will be pissed off if their fave died for no good reason. don't just kill characters for the hell of it. make sure to have a limit.

another example for this (spoilers) is the book the queen of blood, which i really enjoyed — and had the central character grow and create friendships with a bunch of other characters who i grew to really like throughout the novel. and then at the end, they all died except for her in like a single page, and i was left thinking... what? why did i invest my time and interest in those characters just for them to die pointlessly without half of them even being shown how they died? some people might not mind that, but it can definitely be off-putting for the reader. same for wilder girls, (again, spoilers), where despite development being shown of other minor characters in the story, in the last chapter the main three just left them all to die and didn't even consider going back to save them. it just really put me off, because i'd gotten attached to some of those minor characters, and they were just tossed away like trash. also, just like, literally every death in season 8 of game of thrones. why?

12-14 year old me was definitely in on the "kill as many characters as possible for ANGST" path, but now i've realised how after a while, reading main characters continue to die over and over can get super boring and predictable. like, "oh, there's another one". know when to kill your characters, and when to spare them!

DON'T BE SHY, PUT ON SOME MUSIC.   →      *   .    &

music is the only way i can write sad or angsty scenes, especially concerning death. if you're not one who usually listens to music, i'd still give listening to sad songs while writing emotional scenes a go — because for me it completely ups my emotions and puts me more in the zone for writing angst. i have an entire playlist (lilac, on my spotify account sarahoppers, if people are interested) just dedicated to my favourite sad songs, it's 5 hours long and i put it on whenever i'm writing sad or death scenes.

i recommend listening to songs that relate to your story or fandom it's set in. for example, goodbye brother, nothing else matters, the iron throne, and farewell, amongst others, from the GOT soundtrack, if you're writing a game of thrones/asoiaf fic. or euology, destroying the castle, papa, she wants me to find her, you're a fighter, seven feet, and aftermath, amongst many more, from the stranger things soundtrack if you're writing a fic for that — also sad songs from the 70s/80s. fitting the music to the universe always makes it feel more real and heavy-hitting for me. other soundtracks that are really sad that i can recommend are some from the haunting of hill house, the last of us, IT, and stranger things. honestly, i'd just recommend looking at my playlist because it has a pretty wide selection i use to write.

also, don't be afraid to put a single song on repeat for ages if it just hits that spot for unlocking your angst. i've listened to aftermath on repeat for like 7 hours when i was writing sad stranger things scenes for my fic moonmaiden. i bet everyone who followed me on spotify thought i was having a breakdown.

so if you're just stuck on that death scene, put on some heavy, sad music, and upset yourself enough to write something heartwrenchingly sad. if you cry while writing it, you know you've done something right.

HOW-TO.   →      *   .    &

killing a character can be hard. not just for the purpose of writing that scene, but also the notion of letting that character go... forever. while the process of saying goodbye to a loved character will be dealt with later, in this section i'll break down how to analytically craft a character death and scene.

here are the most important points to consider when deciding on and crafting a character death:

.     &     ━     how does it happen? → who or what kills them? where, why, how ?

.     &     ━     why does it happen?    →   how does it advance the plot? how does it advance the characters? what is the use of killing this character? does it have an impact on the world? their loved ones? their enemies? how does it drive or set the plot back ?

.     &     ━     who is around?    →   who is there to witness it, or say goodbye? is it just the enemy, or their friends too? do they die alone, and their friends find them later? are they never found ?

.     &     ━     how does this character feel about it?    →   are they afraid of death? are they accepting of it? do they not want to leave their loved ones, or are they ready? were there things they wanted to do? plans they had? things they wish they could say? do they go graceful into the night, or fight it? are they just... tired ?

.     &     ━     is there anything they do?    →   is there a song they want to sing, or do they hold on as long as they can so they can see a loved one again? do they need to just keep pushing so they can defeat this enemy? do they push until the very end? do they give another character something to remember them by? do they need to say "i love you" ?

.     &     ━     last words    →   is there anything they have to, or manage to, say ?

.     &     ━     how is this advancing the story?    →   is their death necessary to either the plot, world or characters? how does it mark a turning point or an advancement ?

.     &     ━     effect on the characters    →   what effect will this have on the other characters? will it spur them to keep fighting, or will they fall into a demotivated depression? will they keep fighting the good fight, or turn vengeful and filled with hate? how does this death change their loved ones or their enemies ?

.     &     ━     effect on the world    →   rather than just the plot or the characters, what effect will their death have on the world in which they live? any? will it stop or start a war? will it cause grief or celebration throughout a nation? will they be revered as a hero? will their death trigger victory through magic, sacrifice, etc ?

.     &     ━     music    →   what music matches this death scene, in either pacing, tone, lyrics or sound? this can not only help you write the scene, but you can also recommend that your readers listen to it while reading the chapter. for me, listening to a specific few songs for specific death scenes gives me an insane boost of information because it feels like i'm watching a film / show / video game and often makes me teary too .

.     &     ━     who and what are they leaving behind ?

.     &     ━     will they leave behind a legacy?    →   a legend? will their body become a constellation in the sky? will things or places be named after them? perhaps none of that at all .

.     &     ━     what is the scene's pacing?    →   does their death happen slow, or shockingly quick, before the reader can barely process it? is it such a rush that the other characters with them need to leave them behind? or can they stay with them as long as they like ?

.     &     ━     what is done with the body?    →   is there a funeral? are they buried, cremated, or something else? is their body able to be taken with their loved ones, or does it have to remain there? are their loved ones dragged away from the body out of rush? is it ever found? do they have a monument or grave? will other characters visit said monument or grave in remembrance ?

my biggest advice? analyse deaths that you like or think are done well in shows / books / video games you like. pick apart why they're done well. what makes them so sad or impactful? why do they work? analysing those will help you understand how death scenes work better, and therefore will help you learn how to write them.

one example i love, is rue from the hunger games. now i haven't read the hunger games in a hot minute (give or take six years), but that passage has stuck with me ever since i read the novels for the first time about eight years ago. rue's death is a shock. a big shock. the first time i read it as a pre-teen it had me just staring at the page, re-reading it over and over in an attempt to process it. and that is the point of the hunger games. at its core, that book is not about love triangles or romance, it's about the inhumane killing of little kids, by other little kids. and that's why rue's death is needed. it's the first real time that we, as the audience, are actually affected by the games — up until then, it was all just mindless killing, a need to survive. and then, like a slap, the youngest and sweetest tribute, who we've been growing an attachment to, is speared within a single sentence, and dies over the next few paragraphs. just like that.

it is supposed to be a shock. it has to be. and it's more than just needed because of us, it's needed because of the world. rue's death is what inspires katniss' rebellion, the rebellion in district 11. and in the way katniss lays her to rest in an act of defiance, amongst a bed of flowers, and sings her to her final sleep, we see a side of the protagonist we've never really seen before. rue's death is arguably the most important moment of that first book. not any katnisspeeta or katnissgale scenes, but the death of an innocent child. it's the turning point for that series and for the world in which they live. it's horrible, and unfair, and shocking, and distressing — and it needs to be. that's why it's so perfect.

a more recent example is hopper from stranger things (okay, he's not actually dead, but it was framed that way at the time, and i would have been content if he was because of how well i thought it was done). for his scene, it was not the actual 'death' that got me — that was just the building up to it. the music and the close-ups on both joyce's and hopper's faces as colours splayed over them, that was the part that had my heart clenching and my body just... knowing what was coming. then it was all over, and he was gone, and i felt... well, i wasn't sure what to feel. and then, eleven walks out of the mall and looks for him. her father, and the one constant of her life in the past three years. and aftermath starts playing. and she sees joyce, alone, and all joyce can do is shake her head through the tears, and all el can do is... watch, and process, as her face crumples and that realisation hits her and the music swells. and then, cut to black.

that scene was beautifully done because they don't even have to show us any flashbacks for us to remember those times when she and hopper were bonding over eggos and halloween, when he found her out in the woods, when he put his old cabin back together again and found items belonging to his deceased daughter, for us to know that those times are exactly what she's thinking about. when her and hopper's relationship and hardships have been the primary focus of both their characters for the last two seasons, and then we see as he's been ripped away from her. that's how to make a death punch. tie it in with the characters and watch them grow over time, only to end it. make us care about them and their relationship and then tear it away.

and the letter scene... oof... the letter scene. that one had me actually crying my eyes out for a solid 20 minutes. and of course, that is always much easier to do over film — but things like that can be written too. snippets of a letter, a conversation, a tape, between scenes of now, like... memories, that can never quite exist, or be recovered. they're immortalised in writing or words, but it's the last thing they'll ever say.

yes, i love it.

one of the examples of a death i love in books (from my favourite book) is sarai's death in strange the dreamer. because the opening prologue is her death, but at that point she is nameless, and although her features are identified in that beautiful, sad, confusing prologue, by the time we meet her halfway through the book, most people forget that she is what the dead girl at the start of the book looks like. and then her death at the very end of the book is a direct retelling of the opening prologue, except now we know it's sarai. and the first time i read it, i only caught on just then. and it was such a brilliant '... oh' moment. as well as that, it was written in beautiful and poetic prose, and it was just so lovely and sad. it can be a lovely way to paint that there will be tragedy in the book by opening with it and then returning to that scene later, if done in a subtle and vague way, like this novel achieved.

the final example i'll give here is sarah from the last of us. this is a scene that makes me cry every time i replay the game, because it's just so painful. you start off the game playing as her, so it appears like you'll then play her as an adult, or she'll be the central character throughout the rest of the game. she's a little twelve-year-old girl, the daughter of the protagonist, and when the both of you get shot at, she's the only one who's hit. and you watch as this dad cradles his dying daughter, and it's so upsetting. a large part of why this death is so painful, in my opinion, is the voice acting. obviously, you can't have that in a book, but it's isn't just that. it's the fact that she doesn't actually say anything. her father, joel, is speaking to her over and over, trying to comfort and assure her. and she just... whimpers. and it's awful, hearing a twelve-year-old girl whimper and whine and cry in pain as she bleeds to death quickly, as her father tries to pick her up and she just wails out in agony. it's horrible and so sad. she doesn't have any lines of dialogue, just the childish whimpering as joel tries to stop the bleeding from the gunshot wound, and then she just stops whimpering, and you know.

it's an extremely quick death, like rue, and i think that's why it works so well. there's no real exchanging of lines from them, just joel's frantic reassurances of "i know, baby, i know. listen to me, i know this hurts, baby. you're going to be okay, baby, just stay with me". and then the short few moments after, where she's gone, and joel just say "don't do this to me, baby. don't do this to me, baby", and then the screen cuts to the opening title screen of the game, and the next time we see joel it's years later. it just hits and then just leaves us there, and it's extremely effective. i really recommend watching that scene on youtube, if you're looking to cry. i actually watch it to get in a sad mode to write death scenes.

other examples i like, though i won't go into an analysis of them, is ygritte from game of thrones / a storm of swords, newt from the death cure book, nova from muse of nightmares, and nell from the haunting of hill house (in 'the bent-neck lady' episode).

HOW IT HAPPENS.   →      *   .    &

this completely depends on your story, the characters and world of that story, etc. contemplate the universe they're in, your character's weaknesses, the villains or threats they face. is it an accident? is it an assassination? a stab or a slice or a slower bleeding out? is it a blunt strike or a sickness? is it a sacrifice?

think, stranger things: is it that fall into the upside down? that bleeding out after being fatally wounded by a demogorgon? that gunshot? that experiment stretching their powers too much? that final psychic face-down with the mind flayer? that explosion?

think, game of thrones: is it that arrow, sword or spear? is it that fall from the dragon's back, that leap from the tower? is it that poison, or the red wedding? that betrayal? that losing a war? who is it who delivers the final blow: is it someone they love, once loved, or who has always been an enemy? it's always most painful when that strike comes from someone they love so wholly.

think, marvel: is it that gunshot or missile? that accidentally redirected superpower? that fall, that sacrifice? that broken neck or spine? that inability to be saved by someone who was supposed to protect them?

think, avatar: the last airbender or the legend of korra: is it that fatal strike of lightning? that blunt force trauma? that knife? that arrow or that sword? that stone? those spears of ice or that sacrifice?

think, general fiction: is it sickness? cancer? that car accident or that murder? that accidental gunshot? that drunken fall? that drowning? that stabbing?

context and how and when the death happens is incredibly important to the flow and plot of the story. returning to the hunger games, rue's death marks that turning point of rebellion — it's right in the middle of the story, and after we've already just learned to get to know rue, but not enough to really know her. it happens fast, a spear, totally unexpected, and it happens quickly. all of that is necessary for the fast pace of the games, and how the story changes after that point. think of stranger things again, hopper's death is right at the finale of the season and therefore we don't get to dwell over it for the rest of the show, like we had for rue's. there's about 15 minutes of show after his 'death', and then the season ends with the byers and eleven moving away — pushed to move by his death. the pacing is entirely different in both examples, but works perfectly in both contexts.

if hopper had 'died' in the middle of the season, it wouldn't have that same oomph nor emotional effect. it had to be at the end of the season, left for that sense of suspense and mourning as we sat through the credits. if rue had died right at the end of the book, there would have been no point. Her death marked the mid to third-quarter because it marked the inspiring of the rebellion and katniss' desperation to win for both prim and rue now. because she promised both of them. she carries rue's death as an example of why she has to win, and why she wants to rebel.

consider this for your story. if your character dies right at the end, why? a story that's planned to have the protagonist die would likely use this tactic of closing the story with that, followed by perhaps an epilogue or a few more paragraphs of writing. unless you want to kill them in the story's second half and then have the rest of the story as the characters finishing their quest (like allegient). i wouldn't recommend the latter unless you have it planned clearly and have a reason for that! usually the main character dying closes the story. because it hits, and then it's over, and the reader is left to process it.

if your protagonist dies at the beginning and then the rest is their life leading up to that moment, that can work incredibly well if it's vague. think back to when i discussed sarai in strange the dreamer. but a degree of this that is too obvious can sometimes ruin the point of the story. like, some readers won't read your story if they know the character dies at the start, because what's the point? that's my kind of feeling with the new black widow movie. and yet, if it's staged as a tragedy, the intro where it's stated that they die is a bit blurry, not so obvious (like strange the dreamer, or my fic daughters of the dragons) then it can work amazingly. and it hurts because the whole time that this is building up, you know it ends in tragedy, but you don't know exactly how.

side characters can die whenever, but the timing is just as important. rue, hopper, etc, they have an impact on the story, and readers often have an attachment to them, and their deaths should be considered just as carefully as if they were the protagonist. does their death mark a turning point in the story, plot, world, characters, character arcs, etc? if so, how? why? it should always have an impact on at least one of these, most certainly the characters, otherwise the readers can be left with disappointment, wondering what that death was for. even if it's a side character dying right at the start of the story, it should drive forward one of those points.

THINGS THEY MIGHT DO IN THEIR LAST MOMENTS. → * . &

here are some things that characters might do in their last moments alive, as they're fatally wounded, walking into that sacrifice, or dying:

.     &     ━     smile    →   that soft smile at the other person holding them; smiling at the villain because they know the villain is going to lose; smiling at their loved one at the moment that this character sacrifices themselves — that last, lingering smile .

.     &     ━     laugh    →   either a mocking, dying laugh at the villain because they know the villain will lose — or a soft laugh at the person they love, gentle, reminiscing on the times they had together. at how absurd life is .

.     &     ━     cry    →   likely. sad crying, happy crying, regretful crying. anything which brings tears to their eyes .

.     &     ━     touch the other character's face    →   lovingly, letting it linger there. maybe leaving blood behind. they also might hold their hand, touch their neck or hair, etc. love .

.     &     ━     be in pain as the other character tries to pick them up    →   thinking of sarah from the last of us. the other character knows they have to move, so they try to pick the fatally wounded character up. all the dying character can do is cry out or wail in pain .

.     &     ━     cough .

.     &     ━     whimper, wail, cry out    →   make awful noises of pain .

.     &     ━     fade in and out of consciousness .

.     &     ━     cough up blood .

.     &     ━     try to get up    →   to see their loved ones, staggering up to begin a trek home just so they can see them for a final time. maybe they don't make it. push themselves up to face the villain, the enemy, swaying on their feet as they bleed out. they try to keep fighting .

.     &     ━     drag themselves over to another dying or dead loved one    →   that one where they're pulling themselves across the floor by their arms, painfully and dying, to try to wake up or cradle their friend / lover. saying their name .

.     &     ━     telling the villain they'll lose .

.     &     ━     shake, tremble, shudder .

.     &     ━     have raspy or uneven breathing .

.     &     ━     say goodbye .

.     &     ━     reach out desperately for comfort    →   grabbing their loved one's hand or arm or anything to feel loved and held. into the darkness .

.     &     ━     lay their head against the other person's chest .

.     &     ━     look up, see the stars or the sky or the ceiling, think about how beautiful and lovely life is and has always been .

.     &     ━     have their own train of thoughts    →   which you can lay out .

.     &     ━     try to stop the bleeding of their wound .

.     &     ━     promise that they're coming home .

.     &     ━     make peace with the fact that they're going to die .

FINAL WORDS.   →      *   .    &

HERE WE GO! alright, so it's official, your character is going to die. now you just need to decide what their last words will be, and if they have any. remember, it's not necessary for your character to have final words — their death may be sudden or they might not be able to manage words — but it can make their death more memorable and heartwrenching.

sometimes, these words can be so hard to find, otherwise they're just so potently that character. like you think of them going out with that line, and it's just like, yeah, that's how they'd go.

here are several categories or types of final words that your character might have! try to consider the character themselves and find one suitable that they would say, and also consider the situation. try to keep them true to your stories:

(these may or may not be taken from future parts of my fics so guess whose are whose hehe)

.     &     ━     seeing something that isn't there    →   seeing someone or something that's not there, someone's who's passed away (a loved one of theirs) or somewhere significant they used to visit. maybe they're seeing heaven, ghosts, the afterlife, hallucinating or simply remembering. they get that far-away look in their eyes, stare past the other characters around them, and murmur it. "mama...". "i see it...". "it's so beautiful." and they're blissful, and a little happy, and then they're gone .

.     &     ━     reassurance    →   they're reassuring the people around them that everything'll be okay, that they're going to be okay. "don't you worry about me, now". "i'll always be with you". "i saw it. you're going to be just fine". and they're probably gently, fondly touching the person who's cradling them, even as they're slipping away, because they just want to tell them that everything will be okay. "you're going to be okay, i promise". "it's okay, you never really needed me anyway" .

.     &     ━     being afraid    →   a horrifying realistic one, that can be either sad or outright horrific. "i'm afraid, i'm so afraid". "please don't leave me". "i don't want to go". "i don't want to die, oh god, please, i don't want to die" .

.     &     ━     being sorry    →   apologising for having to leave in this way, wishing they could've had more time, because the person holding them is totally breaking down. "i'm sorry, i'm so sorry. i never wanted to leave you". "it wasn't supposed to happen this way".

.     &     ━     "i love you."    →   might be the first time, but doesn't have to be. nor does it necessarily have to be romantic. it could be to a friend, a group of friends, a family member. "i love you all so much. so, so, so much". "i love—". "please, i'm in love with you". "i love you" .

.     &     ━     "could you sing to me?"    →   way to break my heart, rue from the hunger games vibes. that teary-eyed plead, them being afraid of death but wanting to just be held close and sung to like a child again .

.     &     ━     not finding the words    →   a terribly sad trope, that i entirely blame stephen king on shattering my heart with. the character opens their mouth to say something, but never finds what they're going to say, and they die before they have the chance .

.     &     ━     laughing, something fond, reminiscing    →   maybe a form of reassurance, as they're dying of bleeding out, reminiscing with whoever's holding them, probably as they're both crying but the person dying is smiling and beind happy about the memories they made. "do you remember when [...] tripped into that fountain?". "remember the first time we all met? we were so little, back then. we were so small" .

.     &     ━     "don't be sorry."    →   another form of reassurance. "no, don't be sorry, we were always going to end up here". "you don't have to be sorry, i'd always die for you". "please don't be sorry, i'm not. it's not your fault" .

.     &     ━     starting a sentence, and being unable to finish it    →   heartwrenching, i also blame stephen king for this. "you know i...". "i think that, maybe, we could have..." .

.     &     ━     something powerful as fuck    →   going out with a bang. for a badass character who doesn't fear death, or who knows that despite everything, they can face it head-on. can still be said with tears. "god will not know how to handle me" (still one of my favourite lines from my original novel). "hell better have its gates wide open". "what, you think death will keep me from pestering you?" .

.     &     ━     "i'm going to miss you."    →   "i'll miss you, don't forget about me, okay?" .

.     &     ━     a response to the other person    →   possibly something of reassurance, as they're being cradled in the person's arms. bloody and longing and tearful. "stay with me", "always". "don't leave me, please", "i'll always be part of you. we're made for each other" .

.     &     ━     selfless    →   could be a sacrifice, or may just be dying and only thinking of other people, or forcing those around them to run before they're killed too. "now, you've got to take care of the kids, alright? i don't care what happens to me, but you have to promise me you'll watch out for the kids, they're just kids". "go now, please go. i love you, i'm going to be okay, just go". even though they know they won't be okay, they still can't stop thinking about everyone but themselves .

.     &     ━     reflection on happiness    →   "i've been so very happy with you. so very happy...". "i hope you know, that living every day with you was a joy, and i wouldn't have had it any other way, and i am so in love with you, and i am so happy". probably said through smiling tears and maybe a bit of teary laughter .

.     &     ━     a question    →   "do you still not understand?". "do you know now?". "in which way does the sun rise?" .

.     &     ━     "bury me."    →   "will you lay me beneath the willow tree? i want to go back there, soon". "let me drift away". "scatter me to the wind, and then i can be free" .

.     &     ━     singing    →   they gently, maybe brokenly, sing a song to the other person, to comfort them. might be a song that has a lot of meaning between them .

.     &     ━     crying    →   they just won't stop crying .

.     &     ━     a final jest    →   that one final sarcastic or playful jest, that they were always making .

.     &     ━     "don't you dare."    →   "don't you dare" cry, try to get help, waste healing or powers, because they just want to go peacefully, lovingly, and they don't want the other person to cry so terribly .

.     &     ━     wishing happiness and good memories upon the other person    →   "think of me when you feel the rain on your face, and smile. and laugh. i am scattered in little pieces all around you, in every little thing, and think of it all as moments with me" .

.     &     ━     "remember me" .

.     &     ━     deliriousness    →   unable to form coherent words with deliriousness, slipping in and out of conciousness, maybe seeing things that aren't there. their final words might be incoherent and nonsensical .

.     &     ━     planning for the future    →   good if they bring up something that was considered earlier throughout the story. something they so badly want, that'll never happen, so now they plan it as if it could. "let's have a family". "we should get that house, the one with the blue trim and the arched windows, you know the one". "let's go back there" .

.     &     ━     all callback to earlier in the story    →   a line that is a repeat or callback to a line that was said earlier in the fic, something that gets the viewers' hearts wrenched in just the right way. it becomes a parallel between then and now .

.     &     ━     "there's so much i want to say" .

.     &     ━     motivation    →   "you have to keep going". "don't stop fighting". "get out of here, go" .

.     &     ━     a quote    →   a quote from something they enjoy — a book, poem, film, legend, line, etc. — that has been an important aspect of the story so far. it could also be a saying or line they've said repeatedly throughout the book. for example, the last words of nell in my fic lady lazarus might be "out of the ash, i rise with my red hair, and i eat men like air" because it suits her descent into insanity. "even in another time". "there are twice as many stars as usual" .

.     &     ━     an outlook on life    →   "how good it has been to me". "isn't life a funny thing?". and outlook on life as a whole, their life, or how they've experienced it .

.     &     ━     a declaration of some kind .

.     &     ━     "you are beautiful" .

.     &     ━     nothing    →   sometimes people don't get to say anything at all.

FAMOUS LAST WORDS BY WRITERS. → * . &

famous writers throughout history have a habit of having really beautiful, poetic last words that tend to stick with me. here are some examples that i love, because writers are so dramatic that their last spoken words are always so damn incredible. i hope these inspire you for what kind of things your characters could say in their (admittedly dramatic) final moments:

.     &     ━     "i must go in, the fog is rising."    →   emily dickinson .

.     &     ━     "on the contrary!"    →   henrik ibsen, said to his maid, who suggested his health was improving, at to which he said this and promptly died. leave it to ibsen .

.     &     ━     "take away these pillows, i won't need them any longer."    →   lewis carroll .

.     &     ━     "a certain butterfly is already on the wind."    →   vladimir nabokov.

.     &     ━     "i want nothing but death."    →   jane austen, when her sister asked her if she wanted anything .

.     &     ━     "goodbye. if we meet..."    →   mark twain, to his daughter, clara .

.     &     ━     "it is most beautiful."    →   elizabeth barrett browning .

.     &     ━     "does nobody understand?"    →   james joyce .

.     &     ━     "i am sorry to trouble you chaps. i don't know how you get along so fast with the traffic on the road these days."    →   ian fleming, apologising to the medics in his ambulance for the inconvenience he caused .

.     &     ━     "i don't think two people could have been happier than we have been. v."    →   virginia woolf, the last sentence of her suicide note, addressing her husband .

.     &     ━     "go on, get out. last words are for fools who haven't said enough."    →   karl marx .

.     &     ━     "lord help my poor soul."    →   edgar allen poe .

.     &     ━     "goodnight, my kitten."    →   ernest hemingway, said to his wife before he took his own life .

.     &     ━     "well, i've had a happy life."    →   william hazlitt .

.     &     ━     "i am dying... please, bring me a toothpick."    →   alfred jarry .

.     &     ━     "dying men can do nothing easy."    →   benjamin franklin .

.     &     ━     "since the day of my birth, my death began its walk. it is walking towards me, without hurrying."    →   jean cocteau .

.     &     ━     "moose... indian."    →   henry david thoreau .

.     &     ━     "i can't sleep."    →   j.m. barrie .

.     &     ━     "it's very beautiful over there."    →   thomas edison, after emerging from a coma, opening his eyes, and looking up .

.     &     ━     "now i can cross the shifting sands."    →   l. frank baum .

.     &     ━     "all right then, i'll say it: dante makes me sick."    →   lope de vega, wanting to get this literary grievance of his chest before leaving our world .

.     &     ━     "this is the fight of day and night. i see black light."    →   victor hugo .

.     &     ━     "i believe we shall adjourn this meeting to another place."    →   adam smith .

.     &     ━     "i am about to take my last voyage, a great leap into the dark."    →   thomas hobbes .

.     &     ━     "goddamn the whole fucking world and everyone in it, except you, carlotta!"    →   w.c. fields, referring to carlotta monti, his mistress .

.     &     ━     "but the peasants... how do the peasants die?"    →   leo tolstoy .

.     &     ━     "i don't think they even heard me."    →   yukio mishima, after addressing a crowd of soldiers in japan and encouraging them to overthrow the government and restore the power of the emperor .

.     &     ━     "more light."    →   johann wolfgang von goethe .

.     &     ━     "i've had 18 straight whiskies... i think that's the record."    →   dylan thomas .

.     &     ━     "on the ground."    →   charles dickens, who suffered a stroke and was asking to be laid on the ground .

.     &     ━     "don't ask me how i am! i understand nothing more."    →   hans christian andersen .

.     &     ━     "now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies."    →   voltaire, when asked by a priest to renounce satan .

HOW TO NOT WRITE CHARACTER DEATH.   →      *   .    &

there's no doubt that character death can be incredibly hard to write, particularly if you still starting out on writing character death, or trying to get more practice at it.

here is a list of things to avoid:

.     &     ━     anti-climactic endings    →   when the death is just totally a let-down. let's use, for example, jaime and cersei from game of thrones season 8. some of the most formidable, mostly-ruthless, complex characters and antagonists of the show. cersei had a prophecy that she would be killed by a brother, so, naturally, every fan expected it would be tyrion or jaime who would kill her. personally, i thought it would be jaime: mirroring the way he killed the mad king aerys, he would kill the mad queen cersei. and how they actually died? the writers threw the prophecy out of the window and had a collapsing castle crush them. but, like, not even a cool collapsing castle. literally a few rocks. and cersei was like, "i want our baby to live *tear*" and it's like, okay well if you'd stood like five feet to the left you would have. dumb and incredibly anti-climactic for the death of the antagonists who had been building for 70 episodes. avoid this, it's very disappointing .

.     &     ━     underwhelming deaths    →   pretty much the same as anti-climactic, but when it's just like "... oh :/" like, we've waited all these pages just for... that?

.      &     ━     clunky wording    →   i'll have a whole chapter about clunky dialogue at some points, but this is a large reason why i feel like death in a lot of fics comes across as unnatural. (i can't talk, my friend and i's fanfic when we were 13 literally had the line "your going to die allegra" in it, totally serious, during a death scene  ; - ;). if you're struggling with natural dialogue, just speak the words out loud. imagine yourself speaking each of those phrases — and if it sounds weird, or unnatural, or too formal, just change it to how you would speak aloud .

.     &     ━     overdramatics    →   we all know those deaths that just... don't work because they're too dramatic. they're too drawn out, too long, too mopey. try to avoid making the death so overdramatic that it makes the readers roll their eyes .

.     &     ━     being for nothing    →   don't let the death be for nothing. not in the sense that their sacrifice failed, but more like they're just forgotten. like, after they die they're just written out of the story and they have no impact on the plot or world. character death should always have a point !

THAT FINAL MOMENT.   →      *   .    &

how do you clarify that moment where they're... gone? the 'they're dead' moment. it will fit differently with every story, depending on how the death plays out, and everything discussed above.

sometimes, what hits most is a simple, "[......], and died", because it's just so crushingly simple that it can be incredibly painful. otherwise, a more lengthy or poetic measure could be taken, such as something like, "and when her heart stopped beating, there was no one around to hear". in some books, their death is never actually stated, but rather just implied. that last wound through the heart, their body striking the ground. another witnessing such a thing. sometimes, that final moment of death can just be that last line, like how george r.r. martin wrote ygritte's death, and then cut.

there are a lot of ways to deliver that final line that indicates their passing—whether painfully simple, or long and winding—and i recommend writing it out several times and trying multiple ways before completely deciding on one. often, when i write death scenes, that final moment changes a few times. but for some, they just immediately stick. sometimes, i just know that's how a character's final breath will be.

here are some examples of that 'they're dead' moment from novels i like:

.     &     ━     "she broke over an iron gate, crimping it on impact, and there she hung, impossibly arched, graceful as a temple dancer swooning on a lover's arm. one slick finial anchored her in place. its point, protruding from her sternum, glittered like a brooch. she fluttered briefly as her ghost shook loose, and torch ginger buds rained out of her long hair. later, they would say that these had been hummingbird hearts and not blossoms at all. ... they would say a flock of moths came, frantic, and tried to lift her away. that was true. only that. ... her feet were bare, her mouth stained damson. her pockets were all full of plums. she was young and lovely and surprised and dead."    →   laini taylor's strange the dreamer .

.     &     ━     "lazlo did hold sarai in his arms that night, and she was real and flesh, blood and spirit, but not laughter. not breath. those had left her body forever. the muse of nightmares was dead.."    →   laini taylor's strange the dreamer .

.     &     ━     "once upon a time, a woman finally gave up, and the sea was waiting. it was the wrong sea—red as blood and just as warm—but falling felt like freedom, like letting go of trying, and on the way down she took her first full breath in centuries. then it was all over."    →   laini taylor's muse of nightmares .

.     &     ━     "'stars,' she whispered. 'i can see the stars again, my lady.' ... 'stars,' zoë repeated. her eyes fixed on the night sky. and she did not move again."    →   rick riordan's percy jackson and the titan's curse .

.     &     ━     "but then there was a hole burned right through her body. a smoking hole where her heart should be. brianna's body fell limp. suddenly so small."    →   michael grant's light .

.     &     ━     "the mental scream reached a flaring, unbelievable crescendo and then suddenly faded. for a moment sue felt as if she were watching a candle flame disappear down a long, black tunnel at a tremendous speed. ... and then the light was gone, and the last conscious thought had been (momma i'm sorry where) and it broke up and sue was tuned in only on the blank, idiot frequency of the physical nerve endings that would take hours to die."    →   stephen king's carrie .

.     &     ━     "everything's still and quiet. then, almost eerily, the mockingjays take up my song. for a moment, i sit there, watching my tears drip down on her face. rue's cannon fires."    →   suzanne collins' the hunger games .

.     &     ━     "'KILL ME!" and then, newt's eyes cleared, as if he'd gained one last trembling gasp of sanity, and his voice softened. 'please, tommy. please.' with his heart falling into a black abyss, thomas pulled the trigger."    →   james dashner's the death cure .

.     &     ━     "i am really doing it, she thought, turning the wheel to send the car directly at the great tree at the curve of the driveway, i am really doing it, i am really doing this all by myself, now, at last; this is me, i am really really really doing it all by myself. in the unending, crashing second before the car hurled into the tree she thought clearly, why am i doing this? why am i doing this? why don't they stop me?"    →   shirley jackson's the haunting of hill house .

.     &     ━     "'jamie lannister sends his regards.' he thrust his longsword through her son's heart, and twisted."    →   george r.r. martin's a storm of swords .

.     &     ━     "and she thought, no, don't, don't cut my hair, ned loves my hair. then the steel was at her throat, and its bite was red and cold."    →   george r.r. martin's a storm of swords .

.     &     ━     "she just smiled at that. 'd'you remember that cave? we should have stayed in that cave. i told you so.'

'we'll go back to the cave,' he said. 'you're not going to die, ygritte. you're not.'

'oh.' ygritte cupped his cheek with her hand. 'you know nothing, jon snow,' she sighed, dying."    →   george r.r. martin's a storm of swords .

some examples from my own writing (no, i'm not going to tell you which fics these are from):

.     &     ━     "and [——] had died beneath the stars, on a warm night, just as she had been born. alone."

.     &     ━     "'perzys...' [——] began to whisper, and collapsed on the stone pavements in her own blood. she never got the chance to feel herself hit the ground."

.     &     ━     "'mother,' she said. and then she died."

.     &     ━     "'i saw it,' she whispered to him, her voice so soft and quiet and a little hoarse, as he held her face desperately and got his hands all bloody—...—tears in her hazy eyes, and smiled, a little weakly, a little brokenly. 'you're going to be just fine.' he cradled her close, close. said something she couldn't understand. and [——] closed her eyes."

.     &     ━     "[——] held her long after she was gone, and would after. even after the girl's breaths stopped all together, and her hands loosened around [——]'s back. she was gone, but all [——] could do was hold on."

.     &     ━     "lune couldn't turn back to face them. perhaps, sar thought, if she did, lune never would have been able to leave them. "go!" she disappeared from sight behind the high lab walls. it was a blessing, perhaps, that sar wasn't able to see what unfolded next. lune had been eighteen years old."

.     &     ━     "the mechanics within her stopped and slowed, and the silence kissed her automaton skin."

.     &     ━     "and when [——] opened her eyes again, she was home."

again, just experiment. until that final moment feels natural, keep trying!

LETTING GO.   →      *   .    &

how do you say goodbye to a character?

it might not be that difficult for some people, but for me, i cannot seem to let characters go. it's probably why i have so few character deaths in my fics — i just love my characters to an unbelievable degree and the idea of having to say goodbye to them forever horrifies me. after writing them so long it feels like they're a part of me. i can't bear to rip them away.

sending a character into death is hard. so how, exactly, do you say goodbye?

i suppose, for me, i never really say goodbye. i'm not sure if it will work for everyone, but i like to think that they're still... out there, somewhere. certainly they're still a part of me. they're still in my heart. and they're kept alive in my mind, where i think about them often. i think about how they're probably looking down on their surviving friends and smiling, gently guiding them through the rest of their journey. and other times, when this isn't possible, it's just something i make peace with over time. this character might be gone from the world of the living in my story, but they still live in my head (rent free) and i'm probably never going to be rid of them. yeah, [——] died in her final chapter, but she's at peace now. and she's in the afterlife with the person she loves. yeah, a lot of the characters from my moonmaiden series are dead, but i know that they're out there living their own life in some suspended, gentle reality of emma's mind, and i know that they're out there watching over sar and the others, looking after them from afar. and that they've always done.

it's hard not to get attached to characters. and it's hard letting them go. but for me, who always loves happy endings, i can say goodbye by just knowing that they'll never truly be gone. like, they will be in every fragment of that book i write from then on. in the surviving characters' choices, objects that the deceased character once had, the moments of struggle and victory, the ending, all those little moments in between, all those memories. they exist in all of them, it all happened because of them. and, like nell in hill house said, "i'm scattered into so many pieces, sprinkled on your life like... new snow".

KNOWING WHEN TO SPARE CHARACTERS.   →      *   .    &

here's a fun fact, in my dreamwalker & moonmaiden series, i had originally planned for katie (the younger adopted sister of my protagonist) to die, at some point in act three or four, for more angst and pain. but very early on in writing the second act, i decided, "no, i've come to love katie too much, and i can't possibly let her go, even for angst", and so she lives, and i don't plan to kill her at any point. i feel like it's important to recognise that characters don't need to die just for the sake of angst, or to cause your audience pain. and it's also okay to go back on your choice if you just grow too attached to the character. i actually found killing katie would be extremely weak in contrast with deciding to make her live.

death is final (well, not always in fiction), and it's okay to make characters live, and to spare your audience a little. angst can be done in many other ways than character death.

i know some advice i see floating around when people ask "what can i do next?" on their story, is to "kill a character", and i really want to rebut that point. randomly killing a character can be very weak compared to other things. mostly, it's irreversible, can be anti-climatic, and can be just kind of a letdown. yes, it might be shocking, but diverting expectations is not always the greatest route.

basically, if you're on the fence about killing a character, consider what impact it would have on the story and characters, vs what impact they could have if they stayed alive. don't kill someone for simply the purpose of killing someone, and don't do it just because others are or aren't expecting you to.

what other ways can you hurt a character? how else can you divert the plot? if your character's death will have no driving effect on the story, think about scrapping it.

WHEN YOUR CHARACTER "COMES BACK".   →      *   .    &

this is a feature that i have in nearly all of my stories because i love pain! these "coming back" sequences can occur in a variety of ways, so let me lay them out for you!

.     &     ━     in a dream    →   your protagonist sees a loved one, or a character that's died, in one of their dreams. depending on the abilities of your protagonist or the deceased character, this might simply be a dream, or it could be that deceased character accessing the protagonist from the afterlife, or anything in between. this happens in my fic hiraeth, in which the protagonist, nessie, dreams of her brother long after his death, and at a moment in life where she is most discouraged and broken, he tells her that he believes in her, and that she needs to keep going. this dream will probably either devastate or motivate your protagonist .

.     &     ━     in a vision or hallucination    →   similar to the dream, but your protagonist sees a dead character in a kind of vision. maybe they're tripping out or hallucinating, and it's not real at all. maybe it's the deceased character actually appearing to them in a non-corporeal form. or maybe it's an antagonist tricking the protagonist thinking that their deceased loved one is really there. all painful, and would also either devastate or motivate your protagonist .

.     &     ━     in a memory    →   okay, so not techincally "coming back", but painful nonetheless. maybe your character sees something that reminds them of the deceased character and triggers a memory (may be a small flashback, may not be). your protagonist picks up a comb, holds it up to their eyes, and remembers a time when deceased loved one would comb their hair — perhaps protagonist finds themselves touching their own hair now, without realising it, because they were so caught up in the memory. often, memories like this can be bittersweet, either painful or happy, or maybe a bit of both. this will have the same kind of outcome as dreams of visions: devastation or motivation .

.     &     ━     the spiral into madness    →   a very painful trope. the best i can think of this at the moment is azula from avatar: the last airbender (also because i'm rewatching the masterpiece at the moment and writing my fic on it), in which she, one of the two main villains, begins a spiral into paranoia, madness and a mental breakdown, and begins seeing her mother — who never loved her the way she wanted — in mirrors and hearing her voice, essentially driving her more into madness. it's very sad and pitiful, and is always a great trope to use either for the protagonist or antagonist. other than just seeing the deceased character, it could also be hearing their voice or feeling their touch .

.     &     ━     a near-death experience    →   the protagonist almost dies — comes extremely close — and in their unconcious or delirious state, they see their deceased loved one. maybe it's in an unconcious dream-like state, where they speak to their loved one and get closure, and are told to wake up (which happens in my series, moonmaiden), or maybe it's a delirious, injured and close to passing out state, where they see their deceased loved one in the real world, encouraging them to keep going. one of those tropes that has the capability to shatter if done correctly .

.     &     ━     constant flipping back and forth    →   the protagonist is constantly living in memories vs reality, where the book flips back and forth from then and now. this is the basis for my mara, she-ra fic, and also the foundation for the mara flashbacks we get from madam razz in she-ra .

.     &     ━     the talk    →   can take place in every situation above and more, but one that just... breaks me. i have this in at least three of my fics because it's just one of my favourite and most painful tropes. when the protagonist talks to their deceased loved one again, likely for the last time. this time, it's motivating for the character, not sad. it's their final amends, and the protagonist probably apologises for not saving them, at which they only receive love from the deceased character in return, and forgiveness. this slaps if it's done before an important decision, at the protagonist's low point, or at a near-death. like, slaps. it can be very painful, but also in a bittersweet way. the trope that i use most in my stories .

.     &     ━     near-death experience, in which the protagonist "comes back" from nearly dying    →   now we're moving away from the non-corporeal examples of "coming back from the dead", and rather to actual physical examples. when a character, likely the protagonist, is so close to dying that everyone else thinks they'll lose them. and then, finally, they wake up, almost "back from the dead", and it can be just as painful as the others, because everyone thought they were never going to see them again .

.     &     ━     essentially "coming back"    →   when a character, who everyone thought was dead, returns from "the dead" and makes an appearance once again, maybe integrating themselves into the main group of characters! this should be used sparingly and only with good logic, because there are only so many times a character can escape death and make a badass reappearance before it gets boring. i do this in a few of my series, only once in each — using it too much can definitely be overdone .

.     &     ━     literally "coming back"    →   when a character, who was dead, comes back to life, maybe through magic or the sort (i mean, probably). this should be used sparingly and only with good logic, because characters constantly returning from the dead can lower the stakes and make characters care way less. take supernatural for example, in which the main characters die like 100 times but are just brought back, so you just stop worrying about them dying (i love supernatural, but it's true). i would recommend using it only once per story (unless it's a gag, a character trait, or an ability), because it can definitely be less engaging if you know the character will just be resurrected every time .

my favourite example of a "coming back" scene? in the haunting of hill house netflix series, nell's final return in the last episode. where she returns as a ghost to speak to her siblings for the last time, and they get to apologise to her for all the things they didn't do, and she... forgives them. the dialogue was some of the most beautiful i've witnessed, like, ever, and in combination with the music and the delivery it was just... incredible. i thoroughly recommend watching it if you can (i mean, the whole show too, it's incredible and is DEFINITELY a rec watch for aspiring writers. it does dialogue, plot twists, warping time, insanity, horror and grief/mourning incredibly well). it's episode 10, starting at 37:46 and ending at 42:20. but if you don't have netflix or can't watch it, here's a transcript of the dialogue bc i think it's beautiful:

shirley: "i feel like i've been here before."

nell: "we have. all of us have. so many times, and we didn't know it. all of us. i feel a bit clearer now. everything's been out of order. time, i mean. i thought for so long that time was like a line, that... that our moments were laid out like dominoes, and that they... fell, one into another. and on it went, just days tipping, one into the next, into the next, in a long line between the beginning... and the end. but i was wrong. it's not like that at all. our moments fall around us like rain. [laughs softly]. or... the snow. or confetti. [chuckles sadly]. you were right. we have been in this room. so many times and we didn't know. all of us. mom says... that a— that a house is like a body... and that every house... has eyes. and bones. and skin. and a face. [sighs]. this room is like the heart of the house. no, not a heart, a stomach. it was your dance studio, theo. it was my toy room. it was a reading room for mom. a game room for steve. a family room for shirley. a tree house. but it was always the red room. it put on different faces so that we'd be still and quiet. while it digested. i'm like a small creature... swallowed whole by a monster... and the monster feels my tiny little movements inside... [to luke] you have to live."

luke: "i don't know how to do this without you."

nell: "i learned a secret. there's no without. i am not gone. i'm scattered into so many pieces, sprinkled on your life like... [laughs softly] new snow. there's so much i want to say to you all."

theo: "i'm so sorry our last words were in anger."

nell: "they weren't our last."

shirley: "i'm sorry... i'm sorry i didn't... answer the phone."

nell: "but you did. so many times."

steve: "i'm sorry if i didn't listen, and i'm sorry—"

nell: "it wouldn't have changed anything. i need you to know that. forgiveness is warm. like a tear on a cheek. think of that and of me when you stand in the rain. hmm? i loved you completely. and you loved me the same. that's all. the rest is confetti."

CONSIDERING REACTIONS TO DEATH. → * . &

i will be talking about this more thoroughly in an extensive chapter covering grief, but i wanted to put this here:

one of the things that break me and those i know so much, is not the death of the character, but the reactions of those who love them, around them. in film and books, this is what always gets the waterworks going for me, ten times more than the actual death typically does. that show of grief — which manifests differently in each person — and just the utter mourning of that loss. it just kind of makes you think about how you would be in that particular situation, if a person who you love in the same way as those characters were to die, how you would react and feel.

like, think of cedric diggory, and his dad.

one of these examples is, SPOILERS, it — primarily the film, though the book was heart-shattering too lmao — chapter 2, in particular, eddie. like, his death was sad, but richie and the other's reactions were what pushed me. particularly in the scene where they gathered around the quarry lake, a direct parallel to the first film, and talk about their fun times and how they miss him (if you're going to do this, PLEASE do parallels to way back at the start of the book, it will 100% take me out and force me to tears). it was the scene where richie, who typically cracks jokes and makes light of heavy situation, was asked to pitch in and just burst into tears, that totally destroyed me. reactions and scenes like that are extremely good, because it shows just how grief affects that one person closest to them.

i'll lay out a few heart-breaking, brief examples of grief here (but there'll be a full-fledged chapter of it in the future):

.     &     ━     screaming    →   my personal favourite. most of my characters react this way, because i feel like (especially in the context of fiction with fantastical, sci-fi, action-centric elements) it's a very human response. could be a horrified, pained, grieving scream, one of anger, fury and anguish, a kind of broken wail, any combination or more. consider the type of character for them to break in such a way. for example in terms of my stories: in daughters of the dragon, the five warrior sisters of one of the character who die roar in a mixture of wild fury and anguish, because their tendency is violence and rage; in my soon-to-come fic, the waste land, the protagonist is a sweet but powerful firebender, who screams in an agonised cry of pure grief and unbridled anger, fully unleashing in a way we haven't seen before; in another, moonmaiden, the protagonist's greatest fear is losing those she loves, so her wail is a more pure, broken and heart-breaking one of confusion and sobbing breaths as she cradles the person she loves, and though she doesn't need to wail because the attacker isn't around and she isn't facing them, it's more her only way to express her grief without it tearing her apart from the inside out. they're all screams, but they all have very different tones depending on who the character is .

.     &     ━     rocking that person in their arms    →   even after they're gone .

.     &     ━     just sobbing, sobbing, sobbing    →   like a breakdown. no one can stop them. they've never been like this before, so vulnerable and exposed. but their heart feels like it's been ripped open and all they can feel is that loss .

.     &     ━     whimpering .

.     &     ━     collapsing into another character's arms in tears .

.     &     ━     shock    →   trouble processing it. might be holding the character still stiffly, just... clinging on. might stop breathing or lose their gaze in space, they feel their body and mind shutting down .

.     &     ━     slow processing    →   they might seem fine at first, maybe even a few days. they seem... mostly okay, because they still haven't processed it. a lot of grief is like this. then all at once, it just hits them, like a freight train, and they can't cope anymore .

.     &     ━     still talking to the person    →   asking them to come back, telling them they'll be okay, begging. denial, denial, pain, pain .

.     &     ━     the practical one    →   trying to keep everyone together and moving. might not show their true emotions until later. the group are in danger and this person just has to keep them going, or they'll all die too .

.     &     ━     constant memories    →   unrelenting memories of the person surfacing at their mind which just makes them break down and grieve more .

.     &     ━     isolation    →   pushing the other people they love away from them, isolating themselves out of grief .

.     &     ━     later, reflecting on the person    →   with a group, laughing about the good times they had with that person in a bittersweet, sad-yet-happy kind of way, mourning, but feeling warm reflecting on the life they'd spent together .

.     &     ━     just missing them    →   constantly, throughout the story, just missing that person. grief isn't something that comes once and then goes away forever. there'll always be something that reminds your protagonist of that person. will always make them break down in some ways .

DON'T LET THEM JUST FADE AWAY. → * . &

don't let a character just... vanish in their death. grief and death don't work that way. it's natural that after death, their loved ones will dream about the person they lost, or think they see them, or have memories. grief doesn't disappear so quickly.

there's nothing more frustrating than a favourite character dying and then just being forgotten about, because the writer themselves have forgotten about them. make your character reflect on how they lost them, on how much they miss them, on what the character did for them. make it hurt, but also make it, over time, turn into fond memories — the way grief does. for some characters, it'll hurt for a really, really long time. it could develop into trauma or mental illnesses, but it shouldn't just... fade away. there'll always be — always should be — remnants of that character around, make them present. the dead don't just vanish. they live inside the story and the characters, make sure not to forget them!

10.10.2020.

word count: 12,121 (my largest chapter so far 😳)