Book Name: Xorad

Author: My_Mochi_MoLaLa

Reviewer: blaze

Cover: 02/05

Pros: Choice of font is simple and neat.

Cons: The first thing a person checks is whether they have used a fanart or not. In your case, you have given proper credits, but it would be preferable if you used your own work. Moreover, it doesn't match the plot very well.

Title: 05/05

A perfect title.

Synopsis: 07/10

Pros:

The synopsis is well written, and good enough to attract the readers who stumble upon this book. I've noticed how you've used your words and it's highly appreciable.

Cons:

I felt you've not given a proper insight into the story. If I'm right, you don't introduce Jimin until the first ten chapters, so the readers might lose interest when what they had expected had not come. Do look into that. You'll have to either rearrange the way you write the scenes in the book or probably rewrite the blurb, whichever is easier.

Execution: 08/10

The execution of your idea is a bit slow. A slow plot often has the ability to make the readers lose interest. The dialogues and descriptions have gone in a good pace, but the scenes are dragged a bit.

You've also skipped the time at an area where everything should have been explained. The writing is managed well, but you still need to look into these crucial points.

A reader always looks into the pace, the creativity and the genre before delving deeper into the book. Your book flourishes in every aspect except the pace. Once you correct it, you're good to go.

Plot: 16/20

Pros:

The concept of the plot is amazing. The scenario where it's set is really appreciable. Though it can't exactly be called a science fiction, it's definitely something which has a knack to go viral.

You've depicted humans well, as well the contrast that follows. Though there are not many chapters that describe the characters of the protagonists, i presume it will turn out really good. Good luck with that.

Cons:

To begin with, your strengths might be your weakness too. You've depicted humans from the point of view of the people from xorad, which means on the either hand, you should have probably begun the chapter with them reflecting the actions they've done.

You've depicted them as eager scientists behind planets, which is a good idea too, but the idea behind it is not explained well. You're the one who knows your story well, so do correct me if I'm wrong.

As I've previously said, the pace is really slow. They've not met Jimin until the last chapter you've written until now. Since it's a Jimin ff, it would be better if you reveal him sooner so readers won't lose their interest. Some scenes could be rearranged wherein I found some scenes redundant.

Writing Style: 18/20

The writing style can be improved in the following ways:

-try to relate everything so as to create a deeper impression. Sometimes, your dialogue sound vague and crisp. You should improve on that.

-the usage of literary devices, mainly personification and metaphors is highly recommended. It makes the reader have a deeper connection with what the protagonist is going through rather than just making them see through it visually.

Grammar & Vocabulary: 15/20

Pros: The vocabulary is really good. The punctuations are well placed. There's not too much use of rich words, rather it's proffesional and neatly expressed.

cons:

in the prologue, I noticed how humans were described. You had used the pronouns for a non living thing and even if it was intentional, negligent of their behaviour and such, you'll have to address them as "who" rather than "that". In the same paragraph I presume, I found "rendering it dry of life", to not make much sense. The coherency of this sentence is poor. Since rendering is nothing but giving, I don't see how dry of life is apt here. Try to use words like devoid.

In the first chapter, as a third character enters, you've used "gravely, croaky voice". It could be reframed as a grave, croaky voice or rather, the croaky voice could be negligible here.

At some instances, I've noticed that you've often switched the tense from past perfect to present perfect. Make sure to maintain the same tense throughout the story. A little editing and proofreading will help.

"It'll stay in contact of our sight..." is grammatically incorrect. It should be probably "There's a chance it would be in our sight for about a year..." as a possibility.

"You can't want things you won't get..." Here, it should be "You can't yearn for things you won't get..." Can't and want when put together don't make proper meaning.

I've noticed tiny errors like these throughout the chapters. When you write them, make sure they form a proper sentence. Don't jumble up the words nor use the wrong ones. They might make a huge difference to its meaning. Try to proofread them before publishing and you're all set.

Characters & Development: 07/10

The characters are well depicted, just slight changes will do. Their physical appearance is not well said, rather only their thoughts they have from time to time is mostly said. A little more background check about the characters will make the reader to have a better understanding of their character.

There's no character development till what I've read. I've just noticed some prominent characters in them and some emotions that change in them(when Jake was possessed.) There's so sort of development. I hope I get to see much more interaction between all the characters, especially within the protagonists.

Total: 78/100