book name: Lullaby

Author: Irtiza_yesmeen

Reviewer: Suzy

Number of chapters: 4

Genre:- short story, paranormal.

Title: 6.5/10

Not a very common title but you can add any adjective along the word Lullaby, probably something like 'cryptic Lullaby' or any synonym of mystery.

Cover: 6/10

The cover is attractive, the white sides can be made a little darker, It's simple and good but you can always go for a more intriguing manip edit. The font of the subtitle can be changed as well.

Description: 3/5

Short and informative, I'd still suggest you to add some details or write out the description with more suspenseful words or descriptions.

Reader's interaction: 3/5

Devoted and funny readers, they seem to be enjoying the book but are curious as well. Great!

Plot: 6/10

There are many books following the path of 'Lullaby' as a major component in paranormal books, I'm a horror and thriller lover, but some parts didn't pace up my heart beat as I expected, try to slow down a little, I know it's a short story but let the readers feel the thrill.

Grammar: 15/20

In ch 1: 'waking towards his bed' **walking

'a earful' **an

'don't to dare to open the window' **you

I've observed uneven tenses being used throughout the book.

ex:- 'he looked at the sketch with his trembled hands' past tense, but it keeps skipping to present and future tense, I suggest you to correct them if they're a typo.

'A loud chaos made his sleep broke' **broke his sleep or better **woke him up

'He stopped in front of one's dorm'

'his could feel how cold his body was' **He

'their' used instead of 'there' (ch 2)

'none of than' **none other than

'He couldn't but sob' **He couldn't help but sob

'made Jungkook sat on his bed' , 'he tried to started a new life'

'also a girl's honey coated voice can be heard too'

**A girl's honey coated voice can be heard too or

**Also, a girl's honey coated voice can be heard

I observed mostly tenses errors, try to proof read once and correct them.

-->> Missing and extra words- some dialogues need rebuilding, they sound improper and confusing.

•Your vocabulary is pretty good but you can still try to add more words.

Plot twists and attraction: 7/10

Most shocking, Tae's death and then...the dream, I can mark more here but apparently the story has so much more to offer.

Emotions and character development: 5.5/10

Jungkook wouldn't suppress his curiosity, Taehyung remains the same, I hope to see some character development at least at the end. The emotions are written well, though the scene description can be a little more detailed.

Creativity and way of writing: 8/10

Your book has it's own glamour and creepy parts so cheer up and keep the upcoming chapters interesting as well, don't reveal the whole plot twist all together. Keep giving the readers few hints. 💜

Your opinion on the book: 7/10

I enjoyed reading it, just the fact that I didn't knew who Jungkook was made me go 'Eh-?' I'd suggest you to explain Jungkook's character and mention in the prologue that the book is paranormal plus fiction (magic) one. Also, you could describe his academy and it's history, give Taehyung some spotlight and slow down the pacing a little.

Review:-

Areas author is good at: creativity, plot twists and references.

Areas author has to improve in: dialogue formation, tenses and pacing.

Any tips for the author: Provided in the sub topics. 💜

TOTAL: 67/100

Thank you!💜✨