With her flip phone clutched tightly in her hands, Caitlin sat in a quieter corner of a fairly well-known cafe in downtown Belfast, fairly close to the apartment complex where she lived. As Erin had asked her, she had chosen one of the busiest cafes so that there would be enough people around her while she was there with a stranger.

Maybe that was an exaggeration. No, it was definitely an exaggeration, but the redhead also knew that her sister could at least watch Abel with peace of mind without having to worry unnecessarily about her getting kidnapped or whatnot.

Of course, there could also be a serial killer behind Jax who just wanted to lure her out of her safe walls, but that was so unlikely that it was almost absurd to even think about it. Besides, one look at Jax' face was enough to know that he was actually Abel's father.

And as nervous as she still was, she was also curious. Why did Jax only come looking for his son now? How did he even get the information about who Abel was living? And did Abel's birth mother also play a role? That was probably her biggest fear, that someone would take her place as Abel's mom.

For the tenth time in the last five minutes, she looked at the clock hanging above the bathroom doors, directly in her line of sight. She had come early anyway, a typical habit of hers. It was almost impossible for her to show up late somewhere. A lot would have to come up if that were ever to happen. But if she couldn't show up at least twenty minutes before the scheduled time, it just didn't feel right.

“Hey, thanks for coming.” A friendly, slightly deep male voice pulled her out of the thoughts in which she had been lost. Her blue eyes immediately landed on the blond man taking a seat on the chair opposite her.

She watched him closely as he looked around briefly and his equally blue eyes met hers, which made her nervous. Everything was making her nervous at the moment, especially because she still couldn't decide whether she had made the right decision.

“No problem. But that doesn’t mean that I’m anything yet”, she immediately clarified in a firm tone, at least she was trying to sound a confident.

“I don’t expect that”, a faint smile crossed his face before his attention turned to the waitress who wanted to take the order. “Black coffee, please.”

“Same for me, please”, Caitlin added, who normally hated coffee. Most of the time she stuck to cold drinks or tea, but only in autumn and winter. But since she hadn't gotten any sleep last night and was incredibly tired, a little caffeine couldn't hurt.

“So”, she began as the waitress left them alone and placed her folded hands on the table. “What exactly do you want? Do you just want to see Abel, get to know him? Or are you here to take him back with you sometime? If the latter is your plan, I advise you to go back to America straight away because that won't happen.”

“What makes you think I'm from America?”, he asked with a slight grin, leaning forward a little and resting his arms on the table, his hands also folded. “And like I said yesterday, I don’t want to take him away from you, but I would like to get to know him. If you allow me, which I would really appreciate, we would do it according to your rules. Well, your and your husband's.”

As hot-headed as he usually was and rarely let anyone tell him what to do, this was a completely different situation. He was the one asking for something that other adoptive parents probably would have called the cops for already. He was lucky that the pretty redhead was even sitting here with him.

And he liked her spirited nature, that she told him straight away what he could do and what not even though she seemed so innocent and tender.

“There is no us. I'm alone with Abel, so it would be according to my rules”, she told the man with a shrug, her lips pressed into a thin line as she thought for a moment. “Before I even think about it; what about the birth mother? Is she hiding somewhere, too? Do I have to be afraid that she'll show up?”

“I'm sorry for that. All I knew was that Abel was adopted by a couple.” He was actually sorry that the marriage apparently didn't last, he didn't just say that to be polite.

When he had observed the couple walking through Ireland with Abel, the two of them seemed really happy together and also seemed like they had really good potential to be parents. And Jax still believed that, at least when it came to Caitlin. He just had the feeling that she was a good mom and that Abel got everything he needed.

“The birth mother is not in the picture”, he added reassuringly. “She already gave up the rights for Abel before he was kidnapped.”

Kidnapped? Was the blonde across from her kidding? Her eyes widened, her mouth fell open and she actually wanted to say something. But what did you say to something like that? Quite shocked by what she had just heard, she didn't even notice that the waitress brought the two coffees and walked away again.

“Are you okay?” Jax asked carefully, taking a sip of the steaming coffee.

“Iᅳ I don’t know what to say”, she mumbled, her eyebrows furrowed tensely. “Abel was kidnapped? Does that mean you didn’t voluntarily give him up for adoption?”

Jax nodded again, this time understandingly. The fact that she was shocked at first was a completely normal reaction. “He was. My life is not necessarily what you would imagine a normal, safe life to be. Things happened that shouldn't have happened and one thing led to another and suddenly my son was gone. The feeling of not knowing if I would ever find him again was terrible.”

“Jesus, I’m sorry, I really am. I can't imagine how terrible that feeling must have been”, she rather whispered, her hand resting on her chest that suddenly felt so heavy.

She had expected a lot, but not that Abel was kidnapped and not given up for adoption voluntarily. The thought of someone taking Abel away from her so brutally made her sick and a feeling of impending doom spread through her chest.

And when she saw the sadness, the trauma in Jax' eyes, she suddenly wasn't so against the idea of at least letting him meet Abel anymore. It wasn't fair that his son was taken away from him like that, and yet she wouldn't just give Abel back to him because of that. After all, she didn't know anything about any of this and it wasn't her job to straighten things out now. Abel was just as much hers.

“It definitely wasn’t a good time. But luckily we finally found him here in Ireland”, Jax said calmly, swallowing the pain he still felt today. “A weight has been lifted off my shoulders, I have never been so relieved in my life as the moment I saw Abel again after weeks. With you and your then husband.”

“Why didn’t you talk to us? Told us the truth?” She swallowed dryly before finally spotting the coffee in front of her and clutching the cup. “We would've found a solution.”

“As I said, my life isn't always safe, sometimes pretty fucked up to be honest”, he heaved a humourless  laugh and ran a hand over his perfectly slicked back hair. “And there was someone back then, the one who also took Abel to the adoption center, who managed to convince me that Abel would be better off with a family that wasn't  like mine and that if I really loved him, I would leave him with you.”

Silence overcame them, Caitlin still too shocked to say much about it all. She didn't know whether to feel pity or anger. She also wondered how bad Jax's life could be to think it's better to give away your own child. Was he a part of the mob or what? In her eyes, the blonde looked like a normal guy in his thirties who probably worked in a workshop or something.

She also had the feeling that he wasn't done explaining yet but just needed a moment to control his emotions before he could continue the story and she gave him the time, which shortly afterwards proved to be the right decision.

“I followed you for a day, watched how you treated Abel, how Abel felt around you. And you guys just looked so happy, especially you. And Abel seemed comfortable, even happy”, he paused again and swallowed hard, his expression plagued with guilt and sadness. “I really believed that you were the better choice for him, that you could offer him a better, safer life than meᅳ and I still think that, I'm pretty sure about it actually. But little by littleᅳ”

Sighing, he rubbed his exhausted face with both hands, his shoulders as well as his jaw tense, and Caitlin held her breath in as she saw the regret reflecting in his eyes. At the same time, they seemed dull and empty, as if he had no spark of joy left in him.

“But little by little you regretted your decision and realized that you had made a mistake”, she finished the sentence for him with a heavy heart.

“Exactly”, he agreed with a sigh before lifting one corner of his mouth and doing his best to manage a smile. “I hope you now understand better why I had to look for him. I know that it’s not okay to just show up and create chaos in your and Abel's life, but he’s my son.”

“He's my son”, she murmured under her breath, dropping her head into her hands after putting her cup back down. “But yes, I understand it. Still, it’s not that easy.”

“That’s what he is and always will be. Your sonᅳ but he's also mine.” And he would keep his word. Caitlin had nothing to fear. “You don’t have to introduce me as his father. It would be enough for me if I could at least see him. I don't care if I'm the uncle, a friend of the family, I just want to see him, talk to him a little and find out more about him, what he likes and stuff like that.”

There had been a deep sadness in him for a long time and it made life difficult for him. The fact that he didn't know anything about his son secretly destroyed him. He could still remember exactly how proud he was when he was able to hold Abel in his arms for the first time, how happy he suddenly was that Wendy hadn't decided on the abortion that he had requested at the time. And when he was suddenly gone after he got kidnapped, the dark hole inside Jax grew bigger and bigger.

Every day that passed without his son made him become more and more frustrated and reckless. This had to come to an end.

Fuck, how could she say no now? Jax' pain was so palpable that she could almost feel it herself. Erin would probably rip her head off first, but the redhead hoped that her sister would understand the decision she was just about to make.

“Good, as long as you are here you can visit him from time to time. Or we meet in a park. But I have my rules”, she emphasized seriously, her gaze fixed on the blonde.

“Are you serious? Your rules, no problem for me.” His eyes immediately lit up, really glowing and the blue seemed even more intense now. The hope that showed on his face told her that he was truly happy and excited. Still, she was cautious.

“Yes, I'm  serious”, she assured him with a nod, the slightest smile on her lips. “I'm always there, means you're not seeing him alone. Abel won't find out who you are if you're only here for a few days or weeks anyway. And the meetings take place when I have time. I'm usually at work in the morning and during that time Abel is at kindergarten or at my sister's when I have to work on weekends. So if you like, we could plan the first meeting for tomorrow afternoon. Is this okay?”

“Oh, and who tells me I can trust you?”, she added, nervously biting her lip.

Everything Jax heard was acceptable to him. He himself didn't want to confuse Abel and understood why Caitlin insisted that Abel won't find out who he really was at first. And the fact that Caitlin also had her own life and he had to live by her times was the least he could do. And it was understandable that she wouldn't give him Abel aloneᅳ then he would actually have doubted whether she was a good mother. Which mother gave her child to a stranger?

“I’m okay with that,” he smiled, sincere gratitude lingering in his tone. “You have my number, just call me. By the way, I’ll be right at the hotel at the end of the street. And to your question; I guess you just have to trust me.”

Sighing, the redhead nodded slightly. Like he said, she probably had to just trust him.

“Okay, good to know. I know the hotel”, she nodded, also a small smile on her lips. “I’ll call you later as soon as I know when we’re free tomorrow.”

Then she got up, reached for her bag and looked for her wallet to pay for the coffee.

“That’s on me”, Jax said, who also stood up, took his wallet out of his back pocket and put enough money plus a tip on the table. He wouldn't let any woman pay, especially not his son's adoptive mother.

“You sure?”, she asked sheepishly and suddenly she seemed more shy than before.

“Pretty sure”, he winked, smiling. “See you tomorrow, darlin'. And thanks again, I appreciate it.”

She looked after him with a raised eyebrow, perplexed by how he had called her. Sighing, she shook her head and left the café shortly after him. She definitely wouldn't forget this day so quicklyᅳ probably never.