SURROGACY AND ADOPTION, two words that constantly repeated themselves in Caitlin's mind, her blue eyes fixed on the man sitting on the couch next to her, his gaze understanding and empathetic as he waited patiently for an answer from her.

But it wasn't that easy. The topic was one of the few that Caitlin wanted to avoid for as long as possible out of fear it could end in an argument or even a real fight between the couple.

Right now Caitlin was glad Abel was with Erin, this way they could discuss this in peace knowing their son had a nice afternoon with his aunt.

What if they both wanted different things? If Jax was secretly not ready and was only doing this for her because he didn't want to see her suffer anymore? That's exactly why the redhead didn't want to tell anyone about her encounter with the pregnant woman and the toddler in the supermarket two months ago.

But was it sweet that he thought about it so much? Definitely.

And Caitlin appreciated his attentive side more than he could ever know. "You really read up on the whole topic? With everything that goes with it?"

"I have." Jax reached out to brush the backs of his fingers against her cheek. "I know that you wanna have more kids. And even though I was sure I don't want more than one kidᅳ" he paused briefly, locking eyes with her, allowing his lips to curl into a smile. "The longer we are together, the wish for another kid grows."

His words made her swoon, her pupils probably heart-shaped. What woman doesn't want to hear that a man wants to start or expand a family with her? It was one of the biggest compliments a woman could receive.

"And are you really sure that you could still consider the child yours even if it's not?", she asked cautiously, placing her hand on his leg. "Surrogacy or adoption isn't for everyoneᅳ and that's okay."

"But it's our only chance, babe", he countered lovingly, a little determination shimmering in his blue eyes. "The only problem is that no one's gonna give us a kidᅳ because of my reputation, my lifestyle. So adoption will be difficult."

"That's right, even Jim and I had to fill out loads of paperwork and prove for months that we were eligible to be adoptive parents, and we really had a blank slate", Caitlin sighed quietly, biting her lower lip thoughtfully. "So the only option left is a surrogacyᅳ to be honest, I don't even know how it works."

Caitlin was experienced when it came to adopting a child, but surrogacy had never occurred to her beforeᅳ although the thought of actually having a baby from day one, of being a part of the pregnancy even if she wasn't the one carrying the child under her heart, was really nice.

"I've read a lot about it", Jax told her, but he just wanted to be prepared for this conversation and so he spent hours yesterday browsing internet forums to get answers. "Let's say we find a woman willing to be a surrogate mother, which probably won't be a problem, then we could either use my spermᅳ"

"Which would mean you'd actually be the biological father", Caitlin cut him off, muttering, her eyebrows drawn together in concentration. "Then the child would also be Abel's biological siblingᅳ well, half-sibling, but they'd be siblings."

"Right", Jax nodded, running a hand over his slicked-back hair. "But if it would be weird for you that I'm the biological father and you're not the biological mother, we can also choose an unknown sperm donor. Both ways are possible."

Caitlin shook her head, swallowing softly. "Noᅳ I think the first solution is fine. That way the child will at least live with one biological parent."

"Babe, look at me." Jax grabbed her chin, lifting her head slightly so she had to look at him. "The child would still be yours, even if it wasn't biologically yours. Look at Abel, have you ever felt like you weren't his real mom?"

Jax wasn't stupid. He hadn't missed the pain in Caitlin's eyes when he mentioned that he could be the biological father again but she wasn't the biological mother. He could only imagine how hard it must be for her that both of her adopted children would be biologically his, that he was able to make as many children as he wanted but she wasn't.

"No, of course not. Abel is my son, he always was and he always will be", the redhead answered firmly, scooting closer to Jax as he tried to pull her towards him. "But what if it's going to be different with the baby?"

"And why would that be, darlin'?" A smile formed on Jax' lips as he rubbed the tip of his nose against her cheek, planting a kiss against the corner of her mouth. "I know you would love the child just as muchᅳ and you, we, would be there from the beginning."

"Do you really think this is for us?", she asked in a whisper, wrapping her arms around his neck she finally slid onto his lap. "Besides, this whole thing is bound to cost a lot of money, right?"

"Yeah, it's pretty expensive." Jax let out a deep sigh as he rubbed the back of his neck, one arm always resting around Caitlin's waist. "The all-in package if we had everything done in a clinic would cost about a hundred thousand. Plus the cost of the surrogate's gynecologist visits and the birth. We, since we want the child, have to cover the costs", he explained, watching Caitlin's eyes grow wider with shock, her mouth hanging open. "However, if the surrogate has insurance, the costs are reduced significantly."

"We can't do that, Jax!" Caitlin shook her head frantically as she slid off his lap. Running both her hands through her hair with a wheeze, she looked down at her boyfriend. "We don't have the money. Jesus, I work in a hotel and even if you earn more with the club, that's still not enough!"

"Babe, we can always ask for help." Jax stood up as well, gently grabbing her upper arm to stop the pacing. "I want you to be happy", he said firmly, pulling her against his chest before his hand slid to the back of her neck. "I want a bigger family with you and this is our only chance."

"Butᅳ", she shook her head again, almost whining as she let her forehead fall against his chest. "We can't just ask others for money unless it's absolutely necessary."

"Hey, you know anyone would support us." The tension thick in the air, Jax cradled the back of her head, placing a kiss on the top of her head. "Think about it, babe, it's not something you have to decide right now."

"Thanks, baby", she murmured softly against his shirt, nuzzling her cheek against it as her arms found their way around his waist. "I'll think about it, I promise."

"That's all I want, darlin'", he croaked against her ginger hair, smiling to himself as she continued to seek comfort from him while he already thought about who they could ask for some money.

ᅳ

GEMMA HUFFED IN DISBELIEF as none other than Tara Knowles stepped out of her car. The brunette looked around a little awkwardly before her eyes locked with Gemma's, both women straightening their shoulders as if they were preparing for a long discussion.

Clay stepped out of the office shortly after his wife, sunglasses covering his eyes as he eyed the doctor skeptically.

"Don't let her provoke you, baby", he told Gemma, leaning slightly toward her as his hand rested on her lower back. "She's not worth it."

"Bitch has no business being here", the matriarch snarled through gritted teeth, raising her hands when she heard Clay sigh. "I'll behave, don't I always?"

Clay flashed her a grin. "Maybe in your dreams, baby."

Gemma feigned hurt, huffing at her husband's words. "You're one to talk. Now let me talk to our smart doctor."

"Whatever makes you happy." Clay spread his arms to the side, leaning back slightly as he stepped aside with a grin and left the women alone, giving Tara a fake friendly look with a hint of warning behind it. "Hey doc, nice to see you."

"Clay", Tara greeted curtly, clearing her throat before slowly walking towards Gemma. "Is Caitlin here?"

"You have no business being here", Gemma hummed, her tone controlled but sharp. "Didn't Jax tell you to stay away, sweetheart?"

"I'm not here to argue, Gemma." Tara's eyes narrowed at Gemma as she slid her bag onto her shoulder. "Besides, I need a tire change."

"Oh, and TM is the only garage you could think of?" Gemma snorted, one hand resting on her hip. "You have to come up with better excuses. What do you really want, Tara? And don't lie to me."

The doctor tried to keep her cool, to stay calm. But when Gemma stood only a few inches away, the older woman's breath almost hitting her skin, the brunette had to swallow.

"I'm worried about Caitlin, believe it or not", Tara hissed, having decided to just be honest. "I haven't seen her since our collision in the grocery store and she seemed really..sad."

"What's going on with Caitlin is none of your business", Gemma snapped back, shoving a finger in Tara's face. "Jax once told you not to get too close to his familyᅳ if you're as smart as you pretend you are, you better listen to him."

"Or what?" Tara asked with a humorless laugh, trying to hide her nervousness after Gemma's little threat. "You're going to kill me? Keep deciding what's best for your son?"

"Oh baby, I won't, but my son might." Gemma shook her head in amusement as Tara's facade started to crumble. "You have no idea what I'm really capable of when it comes to my family."

Not really impressed, or at least trying not to be, Tara tilted her head to the side. "Am I scaring you that much, Gemma?"

"No." The matriarch's heels clicked against the asphalt as she finally closed the distance between them, her lips close to Tara's ear. "I'm just worried about the people you touch, but we've had this conversation before, haven't we?"

A shiver ran down Tara's spine, a big lump now sitting in her throat. "I was just trying to help a woman who was struggling alone, that's all."

"You think Caitlin has to deal with her problems alone?", Gemma asked, sounding almost offended as she looked at Tara disparagingly. "That just shows how little you really know Jax, me and the clubᅳ you have no idea, Tara."

"I was always alone while I was with Jax, always", the doctor suddenly blurted out, her lips trembling. "And you know that."

"And why were you alone?" The matriarch could hardly believe what Tara was saying here, the boldness of her words. "You didn't let anyone get close to you, you wanted Jax without the club, without the lifeᅳ that's why you were always alone."

Gemma stepped back triumphantly, sending a smug smile in the doctor's direction. "Caitlin accepts Jax for who he is, with all the flaws he has and the dangers that his lifestyle brings with it. So what makes you think that she would go behind her Old Man's back and let you help her?"

"You haven't changed a bit, you know that?" Tara's grip on the handle of her bag tightened, her features hardening. "I really hope that this life isn't Caitlin's downfall. She seems really niceᅳ and above all innocent."

"Don't worry about Caitlin, she knows how to deal with her own shit", Gemma hummed, more than satisfied when she heard Tara just snort, the younger woman visibly annoyed at not having managed to get what she wanted.

"We'll see", was all the brunette said before she got back into her car, the tire change was of course just made up, and left the parking lot with squealing tires.

At so much courage, Gemma almost had to admire the doctorᅳ which would never happen, however.

Shaking her head, the woman with the dark hair and blonde highlights walked back to the office, her heels clicking against the asphalt before she slammed the door behind her and immediately texted her son about the little visit, knowing that he didn't want to be disturbed today because he had something important to discuss with Caitlin.

Gemma knew what it was about, after all, her son had asked her for advice and the matriarch really hoped that the two would find a good solution that would work for both of them.

And if that meant that Tara had to disappear in order to keep the peace, Gemma would gladly cross boundaries.

word count ; about 2.2k

ᅳ

authors note; just a quick summary in case some have already forgotten and to clear up any confusion. The story doesn't follow the entire storyline. Clay is still part of the club, although he gave up his Pres position after he was having a hard time to ride regularly due to osteoarthritis. Opie is VP and the differences between him Clay and Tig have been resolved and won't be a part of the story.

question; would you guys like to see Tara causing drama or actually trying to help them with all the surrogacy stuff? I'd love to hear your opinion! 🥰