His words sat heavy in my chest, not able to forget them even after spending the whole night thinking about it. It was his eyes that left the deepest wound though. Sharp and distant, like I was something broken beyond repair. Anger flickered beneath his steady voice, controlled yet undeniable, and I stood there like a fool, searching for a reason I couldn't find. What had I done to make him hate me this much? I didn't know, and that ignorance wrapped itself around my ribs, squeezing tighter with every breath.

I kept replaying it, dissecting each word, each glance, as though understanding might ease the ache. But there was no clarity, only the hollow sting of something that had once been whole now crumbling between us. He hadn't yelled. That would've been easier. The calmness in his fury hurt worse, as if his disdain was so complete it didn't need to be loud.

I wanted to believe that somewhere, beneath all that bitterness, there was still a fragment of the boy I remembered—the one who made everything lighter just by being there. But if that part of him still existed, it wasn't for me to see. I was only a ghost now, haunting a past neither of us could return to.

Yet I sat there like an idiot, not being able to get out at least two words out of me, just to let him know that I was still the same. That I had never changed.

I wanted to yell at him that I didn't do it, that I wasn't the one who got him in trouble despite me being mad at him back then. Though I knew he would never believe me, no matter how hard I'd try to convince him.

He had this look on his face, like he wanted to smash my skull by only using his fists. The way he clenched his jaw spoke enough about what he wanted to do when he saw me.

"Earth to Kallias," Minho snapped his fingers in front of my face, getting me back to reality.

"Oh— hey." I call out awkwardly, putting on a casual smile.

"Hey? Seriously? I've been talking to you for five minutes and you just noticed me?" He let out a scoff, shaking his head in disbelief.

"I was listening," I tried to protest, but he cut me off.

"What did I say?"

I sigh, looking at him as I smile awkwardly. "Okay yeah, I was zoned out."

"I asked if you went to the therapist today."

"No," I shook my head. "I'm not going today."

He sighed but didn't say anything else. It was a relief that he didn't press the issue further, because my patience was already on the thin line because of everything else that was happening.

"That guy—" I started with a clear hint of hesitation in my voice. "—Newt. How long have you known him?"

"Like three years. Why?" He asked in confusion, but grinned after a moment. "You liked him?"

My neck ached from how hard I shook my head as if that would convince him. "No. No that's not—"

"I can totally set you up with him."

"Minho I don't—"

"I think he liked you too. Perhaps I'll be doing both of you a huge favor."

"Stop it!" I yell out to get his attention. "I don't like him. That's not why I asked."

"Then why did you?"

"I just wanted to know. Simple as that." I got up from the couch, stretching lazily before picking up my backpack that was sitting in the corner of the room.

"Where to?"

"Boxing Gym," I answer shortly, picking up the room keys just in case.

"No offense at all, but I think if you're going to train five days a week, you might as well get the boxing gloves so your knuckles won't be bloody all the time."

"Sure thing!" I call out before leaving with my headphones sitting on my head already.

I didn't pick up boxing for the fight. I didn't go there to climb some ladder of victories or prove I'm the toughest guy in the room. I chose this because I needed something physical, something I could hit without it hitting back harder than life already did. Words never worked for me—too fragile, too easy to break apart. But fists? Fists had weight. They made sense. And when they connected with something solid, even if it was just that bag, I could feel all the noise in my head go quiet for a while.

There's a strange comfort in the predictability of it. You throw a punch, you take one—simple cause and effect. Life outside the gym doesn't offer that kind of clarity. Out there, you get blindsided by things you never see coming. People leave, promises shatter, dreams die slow, invisible deaths. But here, pain is honest. It's straightforward. You earn it, you feel it, and for a few brutal minutes, it drowns out everything else.

I guess you could call it therapy, in a way. Not the neat, polished kind with soft chairs and warm words, but the messy, brutal version where fists speak louder than feelings ever could. Some people heal by talking. I heal by bleeding.

I don't even notice how I enter the building, or the changing room. When I get back to reality, I'm already standing in front of the punching bag, swinging for the first time.

The bag swung back toward me, and I let it slam into my shoulder before throwing another punch, knuckles bare, skin tearing open in soft, wet streaks. Pain bloomed, sharp and electric, a crimson flower unfurling beneath my flesh. I welcomed it, leaned into it like it was the only thing left that made sense. There was a strange kind of clarity in the sting, a raw honesty that stripped me down to nothing but muscle, breath, and ache.

My fists ached, bones rattling beneath the weight of each blow, but I kept going. The rhythm was relentless. Sweat slicked my skin, salty and stinging where it slipped into the open wounds, but I didn't flinch. Not even when my white hand wraps started to take the color of blood. The pain wasn't a punishment; it was proof. Proof that I was still here, still standing, still fighting against the numbness threatening to swallow me whole.

There's something pure about pain when you choose it. No pretense, no lies, just the brutal, undeniable truth of it. It carves you open, leaves you exposed, but it also reminds you of your own weight, your own fragility. I needed that reminder. I needed to bleed to know I hadn't disappeared altogether.

To feel the pain meant that I was still real.

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Hey loves! I'm glad this fanfic got some recognition, I really have high hopes for this one:)

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Anyway, take care amd stay safe! I love you all♡