Chapter Twelve: Steve Farts the National Anthem

Kit was perfectly content with the rest of her evening, eating what was left of her eggroll and enjoying the freedom of the night. She was sure that the Avengers were notified by Clint that she had taken off and it probably wouldn't be long until they arrived. While she didn't know what the consequences would be for her actions of deceit, she hoped they wouldn't be too bad. After all, she had only acted out of hunger or at least, that was the excuse she had come up with so far.

However, after an hour of no-shows, Kit thought maybe she had thrown them off of her trail. It seemed like quite the accomplishment, but rather than celebrating, she just found herself to be tired. The events of the day had been quite overwhelming, even for a lively spirit such as herself. She thought about heading back to her apartment to sleep, but she had a feeling they probably knew where she was staying. And if Kit was truly being honest with herself, she really didn't feel like moving from the bench.

Eventually, she lied down on the bench, resting on her back to look up at the night sky. Although there wasn't much to see, with the overcast and the lights of the city, there wasn't a chance to see the stars. Turning over on her side, Kit stared at the pathway and the grass on the other side before closing her eyes.  She told herself that she was only going to take a nap, but apparently, she was a lot more tired than she thought at the time.

It was the sound of children's laughter that caused Kit to stir again, an eerie sensation washing over as she believed it to still be night. However, as she opened her eyes, Kit was immediately blinded by the light of the sun. She let out a series of swears under her breath as she covered both eyes with her hands. One, because it was a rather painful experience and two because she had slept much longer than she had anticipated.

Across the way, she could see the children that had disrupted her sleep. A group of them were surrounded by adults as they played a game of tag. Kit sat up, rubbing her upper back and shoulder that was completely sore from her sleeping position and the rough surface. Just as she sat up, a couple walked by, eyeing her with distaste as they kept their daughter in the centre of them. But unlike the dirty look that her parents gave, the little girl offered a smile in Kit's direction, even taking to shouting out "good morning" before her parents told her to stop.

She had been so distracted by the little girl with her parents, trying to envision any sort of happy memories she shared with her own parents, but nothing came to mind. However, in the short time that she failed to pay attention, someone sat beside her on the bench.

"Life has a way of catching up with you."

Turning her head, Kit rolled her eyes and groaned as soon as she spotted Clint sitting beside her. In his hand, he was holding up her fortune cookie from the night before.

"About time you found me," she replied, " what took you so long?"

"Well, personally, I went to bed," Clint told her, " I don't know what the others did after I told them, but I definitely went home and went to sleep. Everyone was already annoyed because I let you get away, I didn't want to deal with that for the rest of the night. Besides, I thought it would be better to get a fresh start in the morning after I had my morning pot of coffee. And now I feel much better."

"Congrats."

"What about you? How did you sleep out here?" he asked. "You look terrible, by the way."

"Well, as far as benches go, I've had better," Kit grumbled, " how did you find me here of all places or did you just stumble upon me?"

"We've been following you around, remember?" Clint reminded her. " I tried some of the other spots that you visited the most and then I came here. Although to be perfectly honest, I didn't think you would settle to sleep in a park. With all that money you grab, I thought you would put yourself up in a nice hotel under another Disney alias."

"Yeah, well, this place offers a lot more comfort than the Hilton. I came here a lot when I was a kid."

"With your parents?"

Kit cast a dirty look in his direction before facing forward again. "No, by myself. It was after those two were gone. This place always had a lot of people around, so it seemed safe to me. I would stay close to other children, sometimes parents would question where mine were but I just told them that they were running around. Some adults didn't really care, and sometimes others asked too many questions, so I would have to find another place for a little bit. But I always came back to this park. It's even where I trained for my profession."

"I wouldn't call it a profession-"

"Well, I do," Kit interjected, " I went through years of training and got paid for it. Sounds like a job to me."


Clint couldn't help but laugh but he decided not to argue his different definition of a career, after all, he was certain there were people that didn't think he worked the noblest of jobs. And he also knew that he should have alerted the others that he had found Kit, however, he knew that she would be demanded to return to the tower and that probably wouldn't go over very well.  She already was feeling ostracised as it was, it was probably best that she started to feel that someone was on her side or at least, understood her.

"So, you went through years of training, you said," he began, " so how exactly does one learn to pickpocket anyways? I didn't even feel you reach into my jacket, I mean, my wallet was on the inside."

She grinned before looking down at her shoes. "I know, most people carry their wallets on the inside nowadays. Everyone is so paranoid about putting it in their back pocket, but carrying it anywhere else hasn't deterred me for a while. It's not all about the location, it's about the distraction. If I can keep you distracted long enough, it doesn't matter where you're hiding it, I'm finding it. Unless it's between your asscheeks or something, I have to draw the line somewhere."

"So, you just learned from practice, is that it?"

"Pretty much," she shrugged. "My mentor, he taught me how to go about it but then I would have to go out and test it others. It's the only way to learn really. But I learned so much after he took me under his wing. He turned me into what I am today..."

"And what's that?"

"Amazing. Obviously."

Kit was relatively open when it came to answering most of Clint's questions that it left him wondering if she was telling the truth or just saying whatever came to her mind first. However, any of discussion of her mentor seemed to leave her to talk quietly, rather than her usual uppity tone.

"So, where is your mentor now?"

"I don't know," Kit shrugged her shoulders. " I haven't seen him in over a decade. For all I know, he might be dead. When he was all done training me, he just sent me on my way one day. He told me not to go looking for him, but I couldn't help it. I tried to find him, I looked everywhere in the city. I even checked the police blotter and the obituaries, but nothing ever came up. He was older, not terribly old, but old enough. Sometimes, I like to think that he was sick."

"You like to think that was the reason?"

"Yeah, because then it would make sense. He was sick and didn't want me to see him get weaker. Kinda like how some animals will separate themselves from the pack to die alone. It would just make it seem like he cared in the end. More so than those two ever did-"

"You mean your parents?"

Once again, Kit glared in his direction. "What parents?"

It was probably best to leave that discussion for another day.


"So, what's your deal?" Kit asked eventually after they decided to abandon the bench and actually walk around the park. "How come you're not pissy about this whole situation like everyone else? Do you secretly have a kink about being pickpocketed?"

Clint snorted but shook his head. "No, I do not enjoy it, nor is it a secret kink of mine, thanks. But, I don't know, I didn't see it as a big deal as everyone else did. Not to say that it wasn't impressive, it just wasn't life or death for me. Besides, some days I just cannot be bothered-"

"You mean how yesterday while everyone was out searching for me and you went to bed?"

"Sleep is very important to me."

"I wish the rest of the group was as laid back as you are about this. I wasn't trying to come in and make enemies, you know? Fury offered me a job with better benefits, something I think all of you went for, you can't blame me for taking it."

"No, I don't blame you for taking it," Clint said, " but you stepped on some egos in the process and I think that's why you have to give the group time. Don't get me wrong, we all didn't become close overnight. It wasn't exactly the smoothest transition when we were all placed to work together. And we're still trying to figure things out. It's just going to take time."

"Yeah, I think a whole century could go on by and Natasha is still going to hate me."

"I think you're judging her too quickly," he told her, " you two got off on the wrong foot. But I actually think Natasha would like another woman permanently on the team because well...you know..."

"Because she's a lesbian, yeah, I figured-"

Clint's eyes widened. "What?! No, that's not what I was hinting at! I just was saying because you're a woman and she's a woman that...she would be happy-"

"So, she's not a lesbian?"

"I-I-I...I don't know!"

"What about you?" she questioned.

"I am not a lesbian-"

Kit started laughing. "I got that, I just meant, you know, if you were straight, strictly dickly, or if you're like me and play for both teams."

"I'm not discussing this right now, we're going to talk about something else, starting now."


The topic definitely did change at Clint's request as they continued their walk, only this time, it was Kit making sure she learned enough about everyone so she could get a better understanding of the group she was about to work with.

"Alright, so, Tony made a suit out of tinfoil."

"I think it's made from nitinol."

"So, why does he call himself Iron Man? You know, what I don't care, it's aluminium foil in my book. And let's see, so Bruce is the not so jolly green giant when he's upset."

"I'll agree with that," Clint nodded, " there is nothing jolly about the other guy."

"Steve can fart the National Anthem."

"Oh, my God-"

"You and Natasha are either ninjas or hoes-"

"What-"

"And Fury is either a pirate or a pimp. There, I think I got a fair understanding of all of you now."

Clint scratched the back of his head, wondering how things had taken such a turn. "Well, if that's what you make of us, I can't wait until you meet Thor."

"Should I pickpocket him to keep everything equal?"

"I would actually pay good money to see that."











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