It's okay to
not be okay.

Charlotte's P.O.V

Please don't try to kiss me on the sidewalk

I quietly listened to the song. I wouldn't dare to say a word. I didn't wanted to say a word. Silence. That's all I wanted at the moment. And I actually was getting it. I could tell Justin was also in a bad mood today, just like me. The only difference is that he's arguing while I'm just sitting in silence.

Thinking over and over again about the reason which made me the way I was today. I was mad, confused and sad. I wanted to scream. I wanted to talk but I couldn't let it out without feeling like someone was choking me. I couldn't get anything out of my mouth. My throat felt heavy as if it wanted to let out a sob which I was holding onto God know how long.

That's the difference between me and Justin right now. He's letting his frustration out while I am containing it in.

I could hear him argue and disagree.

"Why does she have to do it? Why can't we just let her stay out of this fucked up thing." I heard him say furiously. "She's already a part of this  thing. She has been a part of this since the world saw you with her. We cannot hide here from her whole life." Scooter said back. He was calm. He wanted to talk about it calmly.

He was right.

I already was exposed to it.

I knew they were talking about me. Justin was having a interview in a week and apparantly they also wanted to interview me. Justin doesn't want me to be relieved into this fame world where the interviewers will bombard me with questions and then my privacy would be taken away from me and I would be judged by the whole world but I am already exposed to it.

But that's not my concern. I don't care about this interview and I could careless about it. If I have to do it, then I will and if I don't, I won't. End of the topic for me.

I already had a lot in my plate to think. That's my bad habit, I overthink. A lot. And I don't tell people about it easily. That's my problem which I want to change, but I cannot. I had been like this since childhood, I struggle with talking about my feelings, I struggle in talking about something that is bothering me. I try and I always think made my point to people but I haven't and they end up judging me. That's my problem, I should have tried to say it more clearly. I should have said it.

And it got worse since I hit puberty. I try to keep my problems to myself which I should have talked to anyone. They say talking makes everything better, but how? If I talk about my parents and cry to someone, they aren't coming back, are they? No. They aren't. But talking does help you feel lightweight for sometime. It makes you feel like finally somebody is listening. They understand. They will help me.

I wanted to talk to Justin about it but he already has a lot in his plate. I don't want to make him even more angry. He doesn't deserve it. But I can't keep this thing to myself. I need to tell someone. Someone who I could trust with this. Then something or should I say someone clicked in my mind.

Emma.

I can talk to her, she'll listen. Without thinking anything, I paused the music and quickly wore my sneakers. I grab my purse. I pick up the box that is the reason behind all of my frustration and fucked up mood. I carefully zip my purse and walk downstairs.

"Hey Jay." I said softly and he turned to me. His eyes were narrowed and dark but they softened when they met mine. "Hey." He rasped.

"I am going at Emma's. I'll be back soon." I said sucking on my bottom lip as my grip tightened on the handle of my purse. "Yeah sure." He said and I nodded. "Bye." I said before practically running outside. I got in my car and started the engine.

__________________

"What's wrong? You look really stressed." Emma said when we walk inside her room. I signal her to lock the room which she did and then we sat down on her bed.

"Someone possibly knows about me and Justin." I said and her eyes widened. "What!?" She said andi nodded my head anxiously. "Here." I took out the small box which held nothing but a simple note in it.

But that simple note could ruin lives.

She took it from me and opened it. She took the note out as she read her eyes widened even more as if they'll fall out if their socket.

- flashback -

"I'll see you in next class." I smiled at Emma who nodded and walked to her locker while I walked to mine. I held my books in my left hand as I put in the combination and open it. As soon as I open it, something caught my eyes.

A small box.

I frowned my eyebrows and looked around. Who would put it in here? I kept my book and notebook inside that I had held in my hand and picked up the box. I opened it and saw a small note which was folded and was securely kept inside.

I picked it and unfold it. What is this? My eyes widened as I read what it has written on it.

"I know about your little secret Q-Tip ;)"

I looked around myself. Maybe someone was watching me right now and I could get a hold of them and find whosoever wrote this.

But I found no one. I started breathing heavily as I read it over and over again.

Whoever he/she was, they may possibly know about me and Justin.

- flashback -

"I know about your little secret Q-Tip ;)"

"When did you got this?" She asked. "Today in school. It was kept in my locker." I said licking my lips nervously. "Did you saw someone there watching you?" She asked again.

"No. And it's type-written. I cannot even match the handwriting." I said running my hand through my hair.

"What will we do? I don't want Justin to be hurt."  I said. "Calm down." She said rubbing my arm.

"I cannot calm down. It's not time to calm down." I said frustratedly and then sighed. "I am-- I am sorry." I said holding my face in my hands again.

"We'll find them, Charlotte. I promise we will." She said. "But right now, I want you to think. Do you know someone who could do this? Like they can do this?" She asked and I shook my head. "Did you tell Justin about it?" She asked again. "He's already stressed. I cannot give him more reasons to. At least not right now." I said.

"Okay. Your birthdays are in two days. Relax. Tell Justin about it after that. Let him know about it, okay?" She said and I nodded. "We'll find this motherfucker. Just don't let them spoil your and Justin's birthday." She said and I nodded.

I trust her.

I don't know someone who is capable of doing this. Who could it be?

I just want to protect Justin. I don't want him in danger or hurt. Please help me God. Please.

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Trouble in paradise 👀

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