okay I reallyyyy want to rant because I have no one that will listen to me rant about my crushes anyway

Okay right so I have 3 three crushes BUT I need help on who to lean on more so imma just yap about all of them.

Stop im literally listening to "back to friends" by sombr and that's literally me and one of my crushes and for jam I listened to "Casual" for the time I liked him

⚠️⚠️⚠️PLEASE IGNORE HOW CRINGY THIS IS, MY LOVE LANGUAGE IS BULLYING THEM AS A JOKE SO ITS CRNGE be prepared.

Jam is a code name for one of my crushes and lets go from the beginning. I have know him all through primary and high school ( im in year 9 now) and I didn't really like him more than a friend in primary well I did once but it was kinda a joke, anyway and a few months ago. Him and his friends were walking by and he yelled at my friend (as a joke) AND HE LOOKED SO HOT. LIKE HOT HOT. anyway so from then on I started to like him and I would try everything to get his attention. So I asked Eleanor to add jam on Snapchat and after like a day he added her back and she messaged him saying "what do you think of Grace" to which he replied saying "she's an okay person" and then Eleanor messaged me saying "should I message jam asking if he would date you" but I said no cause I was too scared. Jam messaged Eleanor saying why she wanted to know and she said "I was just wondering."

After a few minutes I messaged jam saying "did Eleanor message you?" And he said yes and I asked him what she said and he replied saying "she asked what I thought of you" and I asked him "what did you say to her after?" So then he sent a screenshot of their chats to me. I asked him "what do you mean by an okay?" Cause he said that I was okay. And he said "that you don't bother me so I don't bother you yk your an okay person and your nice idk" and I messaged Eleanor and my other friend saying he said I was nice. Cause I was blushing LMAO. Anyway so I messaged him back saying he's an okay person too ( I CRINGED SO HARD SAYING THAT BUT IDK) some time passed and he messaged me saying "Eleanor said you're trying to find a bf" cause I told her to say that to him as a joke and I replied saying "oh yeah it was kinda a joke but idk why?" He said he was just wondering and asked if I was single then if I'm trying to find a bf and I said yes and asked him it too and he said he was also single and then that convo ended and we just snapped each other for ages and at like 10:53 he messaged me saying goodnight so I said goodnight to him as well.

After that day we just snapped each other everyday and had little convos so I'll put them down cause I wrote them all down cause I really liked talking to him.

Jam sent a snap of his dinner and I replied back saying slay with a picture and he replied saying "it was a big slay" so I sent a picture of ✌🏼

I kept looking at him and I wanted to smile but I was so nervous cause he looked SO FINE but also like scary but in like a really good way ;) (ifykyk)

I sent a snap with my posters in the back ground and he sent a snap back with the message "2pac on your wall" cause I have a poster of him and I replied saying "gotta love 2pac" and he said "indeed"

When I was doing a pantomime, I was at a theatre and we were snapping each other and he asked where I was so I said "Joseph rowntrees theatre I'm doing a pantomime of Robin Hood"

(Here's a few more convos we had that I couldn't be bothered writing down so I just screenshotted them :))

I sent a snap saying "goodnighttt" and he sent a snap back, he took a picture of him in the mirror and HE.WAS.SHIRTLESS. I REPEAT HE WAS SHIRTLESS and he had a chain on and I could see his collarbone AND HE LOOKED SO HOTT. Oh he also said goodnight to me :) but I said I was still awake lmao

He said "omg we're matchinggg" cause we were both wearing headphones and I said "OMGG" and later on I said goodnight and he sent a pic of his face saying goodnight

ANYWAY THATS IT cause after that we didn't even talk cause we just grew apart I guess BUT LIKE HE IGNORED ME AND I WAS SO CONFUSED CAUSE HOW CAN SOMEOME GO FROM SAYING GOODNIGHT TO ME EVERYDAY TO NOT EVEN ACKNOWLEDING ME?!? boys will forever confuse me.

But one time we went on this DT trip and I was with my friend Eleanor and he was in my group so I was with him the whole day but he ignored me 🙄

anyway while this happened I didn't even know that one of my other other friends liked him aswell. She doesn't know that I know that she likes him aswell but we're aren't that close I just kinda know her? Cause she hangs out with my other friends but for a long time I felt the need to put her feelings before mine so I said to myself that I should stop liking him but my friends said it's okay to like someone else's crush that you didn't know had a crush on them

I was staking his reposts as-well on TikTok and he responds about blondes and one day I caught him staring at this other girl I'm friends with (not the one that likes him) and she's blonde and apparently they've been talking and she likes him now but she doesn't know that I like him and I think they probably get together but I can't really seem them together? yk?

Please tell me I'm not crazy but I think I'm one of those people who just don't let the past go? Cause I'm always thinking about how we would talk to each other all the time

Anyway thanks for letting me rant I'm gonna yap about the other two in a different chapter :) byeee