Chapter Nineteen
"back"

❣︎

Ow.

Squeezing my eyes shut in pain, I swallow my first—and last—piece of food away. It still hurts, even though my stomach is desperately growling for something. My throat won't stop itching and drinking only makes it worse. Besides having patience, I don't know to fix this.

Aris glances up from his own food. "Adelaide, you need to eat something," he points out. "Yesterday, you barely ate, and before that, and before that, and before that."

I point at my throat, then shake my head.

"But still," he presses on, "you need something in your system. It might hurt, but you have to push through. Would rather have some pain in your throat than collapsing completely, right?"

I'm not so sure about that. Would rather collapse once than lose my voice permanently.

"We might have some yogurt left or something. Should I get you some?"

Aris is already pushing his chair back before I can protest, but I tap the table sharply, drawing his attention back to me. I shake my head, more firmly this time, and hold up my hand as if to say 'stop'.

He sighs, "Come on. I know it's painful, but it'll only get worse if you don't eat anything. At least let me try to help."

I cross my arms and glare at him, but the action is dulled when my stomach betrays me by grumbling.

"If you won't eat yogurt, maybe you'll at least try some broth. Something warm might soothe your throat."

I grab the nearest pen and paper and write, 'Heat doesn't help.'

"Aris," Desmia clicks with her tongue, pointing at my words.

He freezes mid-step and turns to look at me.
"What does, then?" he asks.

I hesitate, not because I don't want to tell him, but because I don't know. Nothing seems to work—cold, hot, solid, liquid. Even swallowing saliva away feels like dragging sandpaper down my throat.

'Nothing.'

Aris's shoulders slump. I feel guilty for making him worry, but I'm too tired to argue further. I rest my head against the back of my chair and close my eyes, trying to ignore the gnawing hunger clawing at my stomach.

There's silence for a while, broken only by the soft clinking of dishes in the miniature kitchen we have on this boat. It really is some kind of house. When Aris returns, he sets a mug down in front of me. Steam curls up from the surface.

"It's tea," he says, sliding into his seat again. "Honey. Not too hot, I promise."

I open my eyes, eyeing the mug. My throat protests at the thought of swallowing anything, yet the smell is soothing. Slowly, I reach for it, wrapping my hands around the warm mug, then bring it to my lips, taking the smallest sip I can manage. The liquid is warm, but not extreme, and the honey coats the back of my throat in a way that feels... bearable.

Aris watches me anxiously. When I don't immediately set the mug down, his expression softens. "See? Not so bad, right?"

I manage a faint nod, though I'm still not convinced this will solve anything. Even so, I take another sip, then another, until the mug is empty. Aris smiles.

Desmia is sitting on the ground, on the makeshift bed, with Cora. They're talking, Cora giggling one and then. Thomas is obviously right by Newt's side and Rachel is still in a deep sleep.

'Did you like her?' I write, though I assume the answer is obvious.

Aris pauses. "I don't know. It was complicated. There was always something in the way—whether it was the Maze or other things we didn't want to face. I guess we just never really got the chance to figure it out."

I wonder what he thinks now. Maybe he immediately fell in love the second he saw her again, maybe he can no longer imagine them being lovers, or maybe they will grow together eventually. At the moment, I don't think I care. I guess. It's none of my business and I'm too busy trying to make friends and healing myself.

'Why are Newt and Cora so thin while Rachel and Desmia look pretty healthy?' I ask.

"That's not for me to say. You can ask Desmia," he responds.

Definitely not. This means it's personal. I don't want to interfere with anyone's business.

"Oh, hi," Aris mutters, surprised when Thomas slides down next to him. He grabs a can of tomatoes off the table and starts eating rapidly as if we don't have another day of sailing left.

Aris clears his throat louder every second, but Thomas doesn't look up until his name gets called, "Thomas."

"Hm?"

"You owe us multiple things."

"Later. Not now. I need to check up on Newt after this," Thomas says impatiently. I doubt he even knows what Aris is talking about—an apology and a sign of gratefulness.

He finishes the can and walks away, leaving me shrugging at an offended Aris.

❣︎

I peek out of the window as we near the Safe Haven. It doesn't look like the Grayshades have blown the whole island up. Maybe they're not that far into the mission yet. Or maybe they have already finished it. I don't know–nothing looks unusual.

"We're there." Desmia readjusts Cora on her hip. "There's other kids here, too. You'll be making dozens of friends. You'll be safe, I promise. And you'll have enough food."

The little girl nods shyly.

We jump out of the boat. My shoes are buried beneath the sand almost immediately, each step onto the island another struggle of not sinking into the ground. Aris and Thomas have their arms wrapped around Newt to help him walk, and Rachel looks around with wide eyes.

They're bringing Newt to the Med Hut. I plan to take Desmia, Cora, and Rachel to the Bar right away, so I motion for all three of them to follow, which they do with ease.

I find no sign of Gally, nor Minho–or anyone. They're all on the mission and they will be for the next few weeks. Sad, because I was excited to see them again. Even Vince is on the mission, so I'm not sure who I should talk with if I want to come along after all. Maybe I'll just wander off into the woods until I find a group that's on the mission.

Frypan is not standing behind the Bar this time. He's also off to defeat the Grayshades. Instead, we find an older woman.

I hand her the note I scribbled back on the boat. 'We just came back from finding our friends in the US. Vince knows about it. We'd like a meal.'

She immediately gets to work, putting a toast, scrambled eggs, and fruit down on each plate. Looks like the food has improved while we were gone.

"There you go."

"Thank you so much," Rachel responds. She hands everyone a plate. I take two of them–one for me and one for Cora while Desmia still carries her. Even when she sits down on a bench, Cora keeps on clinging.

"Come on. Eat." She peels the girl off her body and strictly points at the plate. Cora's eyes grow bigger in amazement. She doesn't hesitate to put everything in her mouth.

Desmia watches her for a moment, then begins eating as well. Rachel is halfway through the plate when I take my first bite, the pain just as bad as this morning. I decide to eat the scrambled eggs only. That's not too harsh on my throat but will get something in my system.

"So... where is everyone?" Rachel asks. "Sonya? Harriet? They're alive, right?"

'They are. We're currently dealing with some sort of plague. WCKD made a new creature in the past: a Grayshade. A mix of a Griever and a Shade. They got violent so they left them on this island. Their breeding spot is somewhere on the other side of the island, so most Grayshades don't come near our base. Almost all Icers and Gladers are on a mission to defeat them.'

"What?" Desmia gapes at me. "But all three of you told us we'd be safe here!"

'Don't panic. You are safe. They have a strict plan. If anything goes wrong, we can sail to another place and start over. I also heard that Vince is building bunkers.'

That doesn't reassure her as much as it was supposed to. Her shoulders slump, displaying a certain kind of sadness I didn't expect to see. "From bunker to bunker," she sighs. "How long will it take?"

'They were guessing about two to three weeks, but that was eleven days ago. Got about a week and a half left, maybe more.'

"And where will we stay for now?"

'You and Cora can stay inside the Base. It's reserved for kids, moms, and elderly. Everyone else sleeps over there.' I point at the hammocks in the distance.

"I just hope this place is worth it. Cora needs stability." She glances down at the little girl, who's happily munching on the last of her fruit.

"It will be," Rachel says. "We've made it this far, right? We'll figure it out."

As the others finish eating, my attention drifts to the activity around us. A few people wander in and out of the Bar, their faces unfamiliar. It's strange not seeing the faces I knew before I even started talking to them–watching the boys at the stone, stealing glances at Sonya and Harriet.

Aris exits the Med Hut, brushing sand off his pants. "Newt's settled," he announces. "Med Hut's got him covered for now. Thomas will stay with him."

"Good," Desmia replies curtly. "Now what?"

"Now we can rest."

Everyone is quiet as we finish eating. I put my toast and fruit down on Cora's plate. She happily eats it while Aris watches me from the corner of his eye, as if telling me I shouldn't have done that. I look past him– my mouth falls open.

The people from the mission emerge out of the woods, walking steadily. Gally is somewhere at the front, right next to the girl named Brenda. I jump up, not wasting a second to run over to him, no matter how much my body still aches.

"Adelaide!" He yelps in surprise before embracing me back with such force that I get lifted off the ground for a second.

I'm so happy to see him again, even though I've only known him for about three weeks. He was the first to approach me in one whole year, and then began caring about me incredibly much. The thought of Desmia killing me back there in the bunker and even seeing Gally again also adds up, as well as the fact he could've died during that mission.

He smiles brightly when we let go. "How did it go? Are you okay? Did you find Newt?"

I nod, motioning for him to come along. Together, we make our way back to the table, where Aris explains everything that happened. Minho eavesdrops from a small distance, his eyes trailing over the new guests, slightly narrowed.

"Okay, so it took a while, and a lot happened, but we found him. He's in the Med Hut with Thomas–"

Minho vanishes into thin air, off to the Med Hut as Aris continues.

By the time he's finished, Gally looks amazed. "Damn. And these are?"

Aris points at them, one by one. "Rachel, Desmia, Cora." And he starts explaining how we met them. Desmia capturing me is a bit overshadowed by the rest, but I'm fine with that. I think I want to leave it behind and focus on my new friendship instead of the past.

"All because of Adelaide," Aris finishes.

"Proud of you." Gally is about to pat me on the head again, but I push his arm away before he gets the chance to, forcing a chuckle out of him. "We'll catch up later. And nice to meet you guys." He eyes the others, mostly Cora. "I'm Gally."

She hides behind Desmia, though she secretly peeks at him now and then, interested.

"How has the mission been going? Have you finished it?"

"No, but it's going quite alright. We're getting somewhere. The island isn't extremely big, so we can safely spend our nights on the base and then head off during the day. Walking to the other side of the island takes a little less than an hour."

"Nice." Aris nods. "Got a plan yet?"

"We've got a general strategy, but we're still figuring out the details. We've taken down a few Grayshades already, but it's more about getting to their breeding grounds and destroying them at the source. The creatures are tough, but we've learned a few tricks along the way."

Aris shifts in his seat. "You think you'll finish the mission soon?" he asks.

Gally shrugs. "We hope so. We don't want this to drag on too long."

"I understand," Aris responds quietly, eyes flicking toward the woods in the distance.

There's a silence, then Gally grins and slaps Aris on the back with enough force to make him startle slightly. "Don't worry, we've got it under control. You'll be safe here. Just keep your head down for a bit, and let's all get some rest."

Aris nods, but there's a tension in his posture that doesn't go unnoticed. Minho appears again. His eyes meet mine as he approaches, and I see a flicker of something in them. Maybe relief or just the overwhelming exhaustion of everything that has happened, but it's vulnerable.

"Hi," he greets quietly, joining our table.

"Did you talk to Newt?" Gally perks up.

"For a moment, yeah. He'll be fine."

I squint my eyes at Minho. Roughness in his voice. His eyes are watery in the corners. Not enough to notice from far away, but enough for me to deduct he shed a few tears in the Med Hut.

'Which group are you with during the mission?' I write, sliding it over to him.

"I'm with Astra, Declan and Sable. I guess they're fine. Not much to say about them." He shrugs. "Will you be joining again?"

'Probably.'

"But you need to rest first," Aris urges. It's unnoticable that he looks at my throat, then arm. I hide it below the table, even though my sleeve covers my skin. "And eat."

I roll my eyes and wave it off. 'I know how to take care of myself.'

Gally looks suspicious. "Did something happen?"

Everyone who knows shares a glance before I write, 'I'll tell you later.'

Minho rests his head against his palm, still inspecting Rachel, Desmia, and Cora. "Who are they?"

"That's Rachel," Aris begins–

"The Rachel?"

"Yes, 'the' Rachel." He rolls his eyes and moves on to Desmia and her daughter. "That's Desmia and her little sister Cora. They helped Rachel and Newt."

Slowly, Minho nods, looking at all of them for the same amount of time. Rachel frowns at Aris after their confusing talk about her, and Desmia looks back at Minho just as sharply, holding Cora tight.