Chapter Eighteen
"start"

❣︎

My eyes are just about to fall closed when the floor creaks, and Desmia plops down beside me.

I jerk up, alarmed, but the exhaustion remains. Rachel and Newt sleep in the bed, so I propped myself up against the wall and sat there for hours until I finally fell asleep—not.

She moves her knees up, resting both elbows on them. "So you're genuinely mute."

Trying to hide my surprise, I nod.

"But you were able to say a few words. Sort of. Yet it's not selective; you would've talked way sooner had it been selective," she says. "Am I right?"

I nod again.

"Well, okay. Whatever your situation is, doesn't matter. I came to apologize. I don't feel sorry for taking care of possible danger, and I wasn't that hard on you for real, but still. I should've taken the mutism into consideration and should have noticed your struggles to breathe. So, yeah. I'm sorry, Addy."

I gift her a tiny smile.

"Are you okay now?"

I nod.

Desmia eyes my arms, even though I'm wearing long sleeves right now, and then my throat. "You sure?"

I nod.

"Alright." Her gaze softens slightly as she leans against the wall again. "And I won't call you 'little mute' anymore."

I shrug. It's nothing more than the truth.

After a second of struggling, she reveals my notebook and a pen from her pocket. "There you go. You should start carrying it around yourself, though."

At the Safe Haven, Gally carries it around, but I always keep an extra notebook in my pockets. Here, I had a notebook the whole time until Desmia tied me to that chair and removed everything I brought with me.

I nod in appreciation. 'My name isn't Addy. It's Adelaide.'

"I know. You don't mind me calling you 'Addy', do you?"

'I guess not.'

"Then that's settled, Addy." She chuckles below her breath. "So tell me something about your self. Well, write. If that's alright—your wrists seem painful. Doesn't it hurt to write?"

'It's fine. I'd rather get to know each other than do nothing.' I pause and look up at her. She nods. 'Alright, so I was in WCKD's trials. The Maze, in fact. Group B, just like Rachel.' I hesitate before writing the next thing, unsure. 'I don't know how much Rachel told you about it.'

"You had these flying things, right? In the Maze? And it was icy and cold. Full with girls until Aris came up the... Box?"

I nod. 'I got bitten by one of those. You sort of go crazy when that happens. I attacked Rachel. I was out of my mind. They Banished me into the Maze, blah blah blah, and WCKD eventually rescued me. I spent over a year at their headquarters in the Last City.'

"How did you end up in the Safe Haven?"

'I escaped WCKD during the fire.'

"Doesn't explain how you ended up in the Safe Haven."

'I came across Vince. It was difficult to explain without using words, but once he saw 'property of WCKD' on my shirt, he knew I had been captured and sent me on a boat with dozens of other kids.'

Desmia looks intrigued. "Alright. And why would WCKD save you from the Maze?"

'I don't want to talk about it.'

Spending a whole year at WCKD's headquarters was hell. Gally knows I spent some time there, but he has never asked about it before. I'm not sure whether that's because he forgot or doesn't think much of it. I'm just happy he doesn't ask.

Minho does know, since I told Astra I never saw her at the headquarters, but I know he was also there for over six months. It's a silent understanding that nothing good happens there and you don't ask each other about it.

I actually really like Minho. It's clear he cares a lot about his friends. It's also very clear he has issues with trusting people, so that explains his strange behaviour while you get to know. I cannot blame him for having those issues.

'What about you?'

She shrugs, sighing lightly. "WCKD never took me, nor Cora."

'You're not immune to the Flare?'

"I think I am. I would've gotten it by now, wouldn't I? I think they just..." Desmia hesitates. She bites her lip. I watch as she fidgets with her hands, refusing to meet my eyes. "I guess they didn't want a girl with a kid in their trials."

It takes a while for me to process that. 'As in, Cora is your kid? Not your little sister?' I write unsurely.

"Yeah," her voice is full of shame now. "She's my kid."

My eyebrows scrunch in concern. 'How old are you?' Then I quickly add, 'Not in an offensive way.'

Unfortunately, I have to make excessive face expressions all the time, because my voice cannot explain how I feel. Right now, I'm worried, curious, and... proud, I think.

"Twenty. Cora's six. Do the math," she murmurs, still not looking at me.

I put my hand down on hers to give some kind of assurance. She doesn't have to be ashamed, no matter why and how this happened. I think it's quite impressive to raise a kid that young.

She smiles, but only a little bit. "My plan was not to tell anyone she's my daughter. Rachel and Newt know, but I wanted to leave it in the past beside that. Guess I already failed."

With a grin, I pretend to zip my mouth shut. Desmia snorts out loud.

'You had me convinced for a while, though.'

Her smile widens. "I like you."

'I'm starting to get a better vision of you, too.'

I don't ask any further about Cora, even though I can't deny the curiosity in the pit of my stomach. Maybe she'll share it eventually. And if she doesn't, that's fine.

Desmia leans her head back against the wall and stares at the ceiling. "You know," she begins after a long pause, "you're tougher than you look. Tougher than me, it seems."

I raise an eyebrow at her, amused, and scribble, 'Thank you?'

She rubs the back of her neck, chuckling. "I'm glad we can go somewhere safe now. Cora deserves safety after a whole life of danger."

I don't tell her about the Grayshades. Maybe they're already gone by the time we arrive.

'You're doing better than you think. Cora's lucky to have you.'

Desmia glances at the notebook. For a moment, I think she's going to brush it off with one of her sarcastic comments. But instead, she exhales slowly and murmurs, "Thanks, Addy."

I start doodling in the corner of my notebook—nothing specific, just random swirls to keep my hands busy. Desmia watches for a minute before smirking. "That's awful."

I shoot her a glare and draw a dramatic frown face. She laughs, and it's loud enough that Rachel stirs in the bed, grumbling something I can't understand. We both freeze, exchanging guilty looks like kids caught sneaking candy.

When Rachel doesn't wake fully, Desmia leans in closer and whispers, "Alright, I've decided. We're friends now. You don't get a say in it."

'Guess I can live with that. You will have to share me with my other friend.'

"Yeah? And who may that be?"

'His name is Gally. He's awesome. I think you'll get along with him.'

She nods approvingly, then nudges me in the side. "Aris and Thomas aren't your friends?"

I look down for a moment, thoughtful. 'I guess Aris is, even though we're not on the best terms right now. I've tried to cope with Thomas, and I understand his behavior, but I still don't like him that much. Sshh.'

"Ha." Desmia throws her head back. "Ironic. Are there others at the Safe Haven? Or is everyone a bitch?"

'You'll like Minho. And I have intentions to talk to a boy named Frypan. He seems very sweet. Maybe I'll try talking to my old friends, too. Sonya and Harriet. You can come along whenever you want, as well as Cora. There are other kids, too.'

"I like the idea of that."

A silence falls. The longer it lasts, the more my eyelids start drooping. Desmia remains next to me, our sides pressed together. After a while, I can't do it anymore and allow myself to doze off, my head resting on her shoulder.

❣︎

"What the hell is this?"

Then the lights flicker. I think it's just my eyes adjusting to the dark, but no—it's the building itself.

Without warning, the floorboards groan louder.

I feel something brush against my leg.

I freeze. Thomas jerks back as if he's seen a shadow move, but there's nothing there.

Aris's eyes narrow. "Did you feel that?" he whispers.

I swallow hard, and the three of us slowly back toward the door. But as we turn to leave, I see something else—a small object on the ground, half-hidden in the shadows. I kneel to inspect it.

A piece of torn paper. My heart stutters in my chest as I unfold it. The writing is faint, but it's clear enough to make out: 'I'm here. Come find me.'

I gasp, showing the paper to the others. Thomas's face pales as he reads it, and Aris immediately looks around.

"This doesn't make sense."

The shadows seem to grow darker. The cold intensifies. I feel something in the corner of my vision—a movement. I spin around, but there's nothing there.

Suddenly, a loud bang echoes from upstairs, followed by the unmistakable sound of footsteps. I stand rooted to the floor once again, instinctively grabbing Aris's arm.

Every nerve in my body screams at me to run, but my feet feel like they're cemented to the floor.

Footsteps. Closer.

And then—nothing.

A door slams open somewhere above us. We don't dare move. My heart races in my chest. Aris's hand tightens around mine.

A loud screech rips through the air—a horrible, guttural sound that sends a jolt of panic through me.

Something is here. It's close. And whatever it is, it's not Newt.

The air goes even colder. I feel a chill that has nothing to do with the temperature. The ground beneath us seems to shift, like the building is alive.

Something crashes to the ground above us–

❣︎

I jounce up, panting lightly. That day will haunt me forever. It kills me that I'll never find out what it was, though on the other hand, I'm not sure if I'll be better off knowing.

Maybe it was just a Crank. Multiple Cranks. Playing a sick game with us.

I glance next to me. Desmia is asleep, her head hanging limply to the side. I slowly take it and rest it on my shoulder as I lean against her. Forcing myself back asleep, I close my eyes.